ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched No.8

[teaandcakeplease]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether you are a new dumpling or a vet, feel free to join us in our quest for serenity

AB - It wouldn't hurt to speak to the GP if you do not start to feel better soon. Google symptoms of depression and have a read if you think you maybe suffering. I'm just starting to feel more positive and full of energy now. Been on them almost 2 weeks.

Hi all

Been a bit tied up but back on line now and have skimmed posts.

Pumpkin/AB soory to hear you are both feeling not too good. Please do take care of yourselves. If I can, I will try to do a DJHappy night on Friday.

Tea, thanks very much for poeting those book ideas, they look really good. I am trying to read the bible but finding it tough going.

i am quite scared of going to the doc, i HATE taking medication for anything,

Which version are you reading Happy? New King James?

The Message is much easier reading I dip in and out a lot personally. Sometimes just let it fall open and read those pages. It can be inspiring and encouraging. I wish I had a Theology degree sometimes, as then you can understand so much more about the time it was written and why certain things were said. You can buy these enormous study bibles that do that too, cost a bomb!

Anyway enough about religion! Feel like I'm hi-jacking thread.

Starting? Where art thou? Hope all is well.

WQ - Ok St Johns Wort is a herbal remedy that is good for depression but can muck up your contraception if on the pill. So watch out Or Kalms can be handy too?

oooooooooooooooo forgot about that - used to work in a health food shop , not on the pill anyway so no worries.

will get some.

thank you xxxxxxx

Reading a pretty old one , need to check, quite hard to read.

I tried St Johns Wort for about six months when BE was having an affair finding things difficult, found it very good - didn't take too much, took a while to kick in. You can but some really strong SJW but I avoided that as cripes knows what it would have done to me

WQ so sorry you are feeling low. I have been having a masterclass on FB today from my dumpling sister showing me dozens of photos of her ow who looks like a cheap porn star

Anyway WQ isnt a lot of FB rather surface and fake in as much as maybe these friends are saying how wonderful ow is but really dont mean it particularly sincerely its just blah blah blah on FB. I dont have it or understand it but maybe from a more objective point of view it isnt the rejection you feel it is by your friends and you are reacting in this way because you feel low.

I have "observed" you pelt through recovery from your split and yes you have posted about low points but mostly you have been so upbeat. Perhaps a period of sadness and misery is for the best to make sure you are properly healing and not papering over the cracks.

Keep posting and talking about how you feel

Been at Dads today had a great day but am shattered as been up since 3am with coughing ds.

Hope everyones ok x

Waves to Getting and all of the ovely dumplings x

WQ all sounds normal to me there is only so much any woman can take,can you do counselling .Just talking about it helps me ,cant post about a lot of stuff and counsellor is the only RL person interested in listening to it all.Just dont worry about anyone else WQ,they can all get themselves tae fuck aswell,it is crucial you surround yourself with positivity just now i cannot emphasise that enough,do you have a laptop,can you give ur phone and laptop away for just a day.I swear you will feel better not looking at facebook just for one day.This is killing u and taking your positivity,you are re energising the whole OW thing again and again and it is seriously damaging your health You MUST cut that cord and work on you CELEBRATE you .This will take enormous strength and self disipline but it essential to nourish you just now.RE the song last night ,you are all amazing but no one typed back that they were ,get bloody typing please ,we are strong fiesty women away to find Christine Aguiluere.......

FIGHTER

oh yes - just the right song

WQ sorry I didnt address question of your looking at ow on FB all I can say with my limited experience doesnt everyone put pictures on that make them look as much like happy perfect sparkling people as possible. But its not real is it ?

OK have givin myself a stitch dancing/punching to that Lord that girl has felt some pain .........

Love your positivity Patience. WQ - Patience is right, stop looking at her on fb. It's like re-opening a wound over and over. You will ALWAYS be the better person and are amazing!

CA has an great voice! Wish I could see Patience dancing in her kitchen or lounge

Forgot to say earlier sounds great about Shelter advice x

You dont need ur RL" friends" to take ur side AB you know he is a bastard .life threatening illness or not flaunting his new life is Dissin you big time girl he is living in BONKERSLAND with a twisted version of reality !!When you look at FB it underlines what a pair of unfeeling bastards they are ,but he has moved on and you need to aswell.Dont interact about anything AT ALL except the kids and money .This shite is what nearly killed me ,now at least i have it under control[ish].I still react but then i do a lot of punching in my kitchen.Tonite my X said his life wouldnt be such a mess if it wasnt for me,I have caused it,cue rage and then relax,my thoughts now are "Away an get yersel tae fuck ya prick"You see ladies my X also lives in a warped reality,I caused it all,they fact he has been doin it all on his own for a year now and slid down a slippery slope means nothing to him,i could wait a lifetime for him to take any responsibility at all.Why wait !He had his chance a fucked up big style I will never trust him with my heart again it is too precious i will keep it for someone that loves and respects me !Forwards march Warrior Queen,we all march together as an army ,we are not broken,we are strong emancipated women !!!

i have blocked them both now, so i have to do quite few clicks of buttons to see anything now, so hopefully my rational part of my brain will kick in before i get that far.

thank you patience and getting and tea for all your support.

i always expected to feel low once the move had happened and the dust had settled, but that coupled with ow coming here, h's suspected illness ( btw he is now using this as a way of blocking me voicing my concerns opinions over all sorts of things as the "stress could put him in hospital" and he won't finalise sep agreement for same reason) and their "love" for each other after only having been in each others company for 3 weeks in total has all got too much.

reading this back no wonder i feel low.

oh sorry thanks happy

Echoes...forward march x

Do you know what really fucking gets me is all these bastarding men know how much we loved them and they manipulated and controlled us and abused our love,they knew what they were doing and they congratulated themselves everytime they conned us and got away with it and we were still making their favourite meal to cheer them up and they would scowl cause it still wasnt good enough .If i connect with X for very long the doom will follow so once again DETATCH,DETATCH,DETATCH,they will control you,hurt you and blackmail you to justify their actions.You dont need the headfuck WQ i know when my X moves on he will be mr charming look what ur missing ,but i know what im missing a fucked up selfish addict,he can go and drink with someone else ,i couldnt give a flying fuck !

Waves to all......

Pumpkin, that is absolutely fantastic news about house . Really sorry to hear you are struggling so much atm though. I think Berroca is prob good advice. I bought a few pack back in the days that I was losing weight & really struggling physically but FORGOT to take it . Refound it a few wks ago & have started to take it now when I remember it! I also used to eat loads of bananas, they give energy & you can eat them quickly when on the go with dc's. These men never take responsibility! I remember xh said I f**ked up our happy marriage . Yes, I was to blame because I went looking for the truth & found it . There is a certain breed of man that could be caught with his pants down & still find a way to blame you . When I asked mine once how he justified the dv he said "ffs I only gave you a few slaps!!"

I second your vote that we are all amazing .

Tea, glad you're feeling a lot better now

WQ, I agree with other posters. You've had so much to deal with recently you've bound to be down. I used to find while the crisis was happening I used to just focus on getting through it (i.e. for you ow's visit)but after event I'd always have a bit of an emotional crash. I think it was Getting that said it's perfectly normal for you to be feeling crap with all what's happened recently. Great that you've blocked the FB, I did that with stuff too back in the day, like picking a scab over & over again but I couldn't seem to help myself . Part of the letting go & healing I think.

Getting, hope you manage to catch up on some sleep.

Happy, glad you're keeping well .

Sov, Rom, LC, Mumfunm, Pink hope you're all doing ok atm (hope I'm not forgetting anyone but prob am )

Well still off cigs & have been busy with college work in Norm's absence . Have been lurking but feel a bit funny about posting recently as I feel I'm prob in a different place to most on thread now as I'm a bit further down road of recovery.

Patience, agree with that post of 23.48. I was at home cooking xh's fav dinner too & I won't tell you what that f***r was up too as it would lower tone of thread too much!! They certainly do play on our sense of love & trust of them & basically on our decency which is why they get away with their twuntery for so long. We just keep making excuses for their behaviour or trying to find a reason for it i.e. god love them they must have had a hard day at work etc....

Its the only bit that really makes me see the truth Startin and thats a good thing.He just didnt make the grade and he thought he could con me HA HA HA HA my only crime was to fall in love with him .Next bloke will be dating a dumpling !!!Re posting I think everyone one is always welcome to chip in advice ,if ur a loved up PITA we will tell you ROFL ,it good to see the other side.Was talking to my mystery man last week ,if it works out he wont know whats hit him LOL but def slow burner ,no chatting up or anything but talking so that counts as pre chat up to me.Need to work out if he is attatched.Dont actually want to go out with him yet so no rush,hoping by March i will have found out.

morning everyone

thank you all so much for your support last night.

h is coming round later (dreading that)

signed up for divorce workshop, and it starts next week. I need to make some friends away from our joint friends, a brand new start.

i missed you posts last night patience about your house - i am glad that you can stay for a while

starting - well done on the ciggies, don't feel awkward posting your cheery posts will punctuate my doom and gloom nicely

Patience thats great about the house hope it buys you enough time to find somewhere. You sound a bit fed up , I think its not helping that something as fundamental as your home is so uncertain.

WQ glad you are sounding better and I think the workshop sounds a good idea.

Tea glad you are feeling better too

Starting everything sounds good with you, I understand why you are posting less but dont disappear we need your words of wisdom !! Also its nice to be reminded there is light at the end of the tunnel

Well been on the phone to xh for an hour this morning wrangling over everything god how I hate all this. Its good though that I have no emotional feelings about it its all fighting my corner for money. Anyway its going to the solicitors next to agree "fine detail" so hopefully theres an end to all this soon. No mention of 3 day week now . I have heard sooo much about xh honour and how he isnt like so many men who screw their wives over but the more this goes on the more he is becoming exactly that.

He has done something which means he cant drive or work and it could be for some time. Also he wont be able to look after dc very easily so I have a feeling ow is going to be majorly in my face because of it so I am really pleased I have had those few days of upset about her so I can cope with this new situation with serenity

Hope everyone is ok - Sov how are you doing ?

Waves to all