ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched No.8

[teaandcakeplease]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether you are a new dumpling or a vet, feel free to join us in our quest for serenity

Just watched a new historical epic drama series called The Pillars of the Earth on Channel 4. Rufus Sewell is fine! Anyway it is awesome, cannot wait for next Saturday and the next installment.

((hugs)) Patience and sending you strength and serenity for tomorrow x

Sov, there is nothing wrong with you ((Hugs)). It's your xh's failing & not yours. Counselling will help you to see this more clearly & you will come out of it a lot stronger. I do think counselling can also help us uncover a lot of our own issues too which usually helps to explain why we ended up with these men to begin with or why we stayed so long. I left my xh away with far too much, didn't look after my own needs, allowed him to be selfish etc, etc. Anyway, you are certainly not a raggy doll, but I did like the link . Allow yourself time to heal & just keep your focus on building yourself back up for now. There will certainly be a life for you without xh. My friend had 4 dc's & married a man with one dc, they would have had more dc but weren't able to. Another lady here on tv had 4 dc's & then had another 4 with new dh . There's hope for us all!

Thanks LC for your support.

Patience, so sorry you're having crap with xh again. You are right about the dc's & as you know I had a bucket load of that stuff too. This too shall pass ((Hugs)). Hope tomorrow goes well for you.

Waves to Tea

Had to spend the evening working on a college assignment that I have to hand in on Mon. Nearly there tg.

Everything cool really think when i see him now his life is not one i want to be a part of .Everytime i see him i seem to have moved on that little bit more.Sov ,do the driving lessons ,it will be fab ,even if it takes a year ,doesnt matter ,it will be such a great achievement.I did feel abandonded Sov but its a lucky escape from these guys tbh.I just think word is just getting out after a year that we have split so lots can happen in another year and it isnt goin to be as painful.it will still smart a little but i think the worst is over now.Amused myself on ebay last nite and bought 2 wooden shabby chic trays ,cant wait 2c them lol!

Ps v impressed ur nails are always painted Starting ,mine are never painted ,maybe that is where i am going wrong LOL!!!!
Dd loves her nails getting painted ,i guess it is just instinctive not nurture .

Pumpkin, glad you are feeling more postive this morn . My dd is the same re nails, tis the princess phase methinks

I agree with Pumpkin that if you learnt how to drive it could open up a whole new world for you Sov

Well am still going strong on the cig front . This is the longest I've been cig free since I started back smoking after dd was born! I've been using nicorette gum & not sure if it's that or cig withdrawal but my mouth is full of blisters & sores! It's only temporary though & will pass. It also helps to say it on here as I'd be morto to come back on & say I'd smoked again .

Started clearing out rubbish today as i feel the move is imminent ,found one card that said Love you forever babes ,and i am now goin to drink tea til kids come home ,cant stop crying and feel like i havent moved on although i know i have , v sad this has all happened ,still cant believe it one year on ,i know where he is ,is not a good place for me or the kids to be but glad i dont have anything up in the loft x

Pumpkin I am so sorry but this is just a bad day and it will pass , you know how far you have come in a year. Sadly I think there will always be moments of how did we get here and nostalgia for our xhs but hopefully they get fewer and fewer as time goes on.

Both of us will benefit from moving even though neither of us wants to , I think when you have the worries of where you are going to live sorted out you will better too it must be a strain . You are coping brilliantly

Waves to everyone back later

Thankyou so much for your support Gettin' just back from picking up kids and they had a great time and are starting to find things they can all do together on a Sunday and all a better routine so that brings me peace ,i know the right thing is to keep moving forwards and i know i need to make these life changes both for me and my kids.I think house move will also bring X more stability and that must be a good thing for us all.Also makes me realise that all though its good to talk to blokes atm i still have another bit to go before i am emotionally stable re X so no hurry in that dept ,just never thought he would ever hurt me like this ,i know that goes for all of us but days like today make you remember how close you were,but that is all history ,just a fairytale and i am not mixed up in his blackness now and that is what counts for my mental health.Just keep visualising myself in new house and business making a profit,all new and all 4 me and mine .

patience, i really feel for where you are at the moment, it is odd how people can be so close for so long then BOOM it is all gone. I am thankful that all things that could remind me of how we once were are now long gone and there is no danger of me finding anything like that again lying around the house. the move will help you, it has helped me sooo much.

i feel very lonely here on my own at nights though, there is an awful emptiness to the house, even though i know the kids are upstairs i feel i need company ifyswim. i think that is why i think i need a man, as a kind of distraction not sure if this is the right motive ????

have not heard from h since the other day when he saw them - total silence, cannot believe it, i wonder if his loving father act was just that ... an act and if this is his real self .... sometimes i think he must be having some sort of breakdown as i can't make the old him (loving father and husband) marry up with what I am witnessing now.

hope you feel ok tea and the meds kick in soon

sov - you are a similar age to me, we are still young - keep the faith

Hi all

Pumpkin, hope you're feeling a bit better this evening. You're right about the house - I think a house move will make all the difference.

Starting, well bk done on the fags. I'm afraid I have to admit that I have had a few roll ups in the last few weeks and even had a bit of a cigar last night.

Sov, you are doing brilliantly with your kids and you XH is such a tw**t. He will see the light though eventually I think.

Tea, hope you are ok - I didn't see that program but U did see A Single Father - Episode 2 tonight.

Waves to all...............p.s. what would happen if a male dumpling appeared on our thread ?

Xpost AB, I too am hankering after a man! Or at least some action . In fact, only some action. Having seen Eat, Pray, Love the other night in the end though, I know that emotional involvement would be wrong for me at the moment so I guess that leaves me back with RR.

happy - do you know something we don't is a man about to join our posse???

Was that good Happy? I saw a trailer for it. I could watch it on iplayer if it is good.

I'm doing ok here, laughing away reading an AIBU about Christmas on another thread. One thing I am truly grateful for now divorcing is no more Christmas days at in laws and her ghastly lunches Especially now she's moved 9 hrs away. No way am I struggling up there with 2 DCs in anyway shape or form to spend 7 days with them or less for that matter. [selfish, stubborn emoticon]

Thats the irony of it Happy ...the longer we are single, the stronger more vibrant we become ,so important i have spent this time on my own.So many answers to so many questions ,when i shine like a star my new bloke will notice me ,just need to get to my twinkly zone x

No I know nothing AB - I am just man obsessed. It would be interesting don't ya think.

Tea, yes it is good - getting a little bit cliched at the end of Episode 1 sadly but good. And Mr Tennant is a nice bit of eye candy although a little ratty for me .

Hi everyone, sorry for disappearing! I hope everyone is doing well and well done tea for going to the gp. Every journey starts with the first step, you'll get there x

I've had quite an eventful week. After a few days feeling sorry for myself I've realised that dd needs a strong mummy so I've been working on that for her. I've put in my benefit claims and applied for a college course so I can earn some decent money when she goes to nursery.

Ex has been round to see her and hes been asking to come back. I'm amazed at myself for saying no! A week ago I'd have jumped at the chance but now I know the trust has gone and I don't want to bring my dd up in an unhappy home. Hes a good dad though, dd's little face lights up when she sees him so I've told him he can come to see her as often as he likes. I'm still massively disappointed in my so called friends but I'm sure they have their reasons for not getting in touch and theres not much I can do about it. Thanks everyone for the kind messages on the other thread and good luck to all of you x

Evening ladies.

I can definitely identify with those of you craving a bit of male company at the moment. I've found myself eyeing up men in the street and realising that even if I were very attractive nobody would approach someone with a little baby strapped to her, and that's how I travel these days! I signed up to match ages ago and have been having a few winks and things lately, then yesterday I got an email! Of course I am too stingy to sign up to read it but it's nice to know some e was interested!

Starting - so sorry for your kids with your stupid BIL. How can people do that to kids?

Sov - I agree that you're gonna need some time. 4 kids is a lot to deal with, and I can really relate to those feelings of rejection. Try to focus on yourself and try to remember the great things about you. IIRC you're fairly local so shout if you want to meet up.

Blood and snakes - that sounds good, might try to catch it up before next week.

I'm angry at H again today. How can he not be desperate to see and bond with his beautiful daughter as much as he can. His priorities in life feel seriously f*ed up to me, but I guess they're all like that :-(

Pumpkin, hope your not feeling so down now after finding that card. I read a card recently and cried when I read the words he had written, and thinking back he was already having the affair!!

Hope everyone else has had a good Sunday, I find the weekends so hard, I worked today so that helped.

Off to bed now an early start at work tomorrow. Night all.

Waves to all and thanks for everyones support today x

Patience, that's sad and Romney, that's even sadder - about the cards. XP never sent me anything like that in the first place which is even sadder still.

I find the weekends hard, too. I think it's because weekends are for coupley things and perfect little family things and I don't fit into either category now. Serves me right for being so smug before . XP was very considerate when I saw him earlier today - he is assistant manager of ds's football team so it is unavoidable. We were very civilised. He is always very civilised actually. I'm the hot headed one.

Chairmum, I bet loads of men see you and think, I wouldn't mind getting to know her - pity she's got a husband in the way (being entirely ignorant of your situstion). And I've given up trying to work out how men justify their own actions. Sometimes there is just no explanation.

Hi to tea, happy, getting, starting, sov, amber and everyone else. My brain is getting befuddled. So many of us on this thread which is nice but sad. x

LC it was a tiny gift tag card the sort you get with flowers ,can only think it was after i had one of the kids ,cant ever remember him buying me flowers in 16yrs but there you go, it said interflora,i must have thought it was dead romantic and kept it .

The fuse to my lights has gone and I do not have a spare. Times like this I wish I had a man and I'm not entirely sure about it all as it's a very old fuse box...

just sort it out in the morning tea ,and by tomorrow nite u will have learned wot to do if it happens again x

Hi all

Blood do you have a neighbour that you could knock at?

I remember before meeting X i had a jar i couldnt open so stood in the street till a man came past and asked him to open it for me lmao

nice one sov lol