ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched No.8

[teaandcakeplease]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether you are a new dumpling or a vet, feel free to join us in our quest for serenity

Startin' when i think of all my other Xs i think "What did i ever see in them"i would run a mile if i ever saw them again,hence my fear of facebook,its only the connection with the kids just now that is stopping me cut that cord with my X and also the fact that im not with anyone else.By the time the divorce comes thru hopefully Easter 2011 i will be well on my way to start looking again,i think summer 2011 will be a lovely time for all the ladies on this thread x

Hello Amber welcome to our lovely thread. As others have said be gentle with yourself at the moment. Share on here whatever you need to or want to

Chyler Noah's my nephew Go and see a solicitor Chyler, the fact he is threatening you already says bucket loads. Find out where you stand and get the ball rolling as well. It is possible to be amicable with an ex in due course as the dust settles, as long as they're considerate of your feelings and boundaries. However how he is behaving is not conducive to creating anything amicable and he is bullying you.

I think patience pumpkin said it all Starting. Wise words. Might change my name for halloween too

Ok no further forward re house ,tenant didnt move out ,thought as much.... anyway dont know what to do ,they could move out tomorrow or next year so think i might have to let it go and try for a flat x

Ok going to view a house tomorrow going for a quick look now ,officially started business today but still in my pjs kids off and house hunting LOL!Lots and lots of phonecalls , cant get into premises today so goin to take advantage of the gorgeous day,go out with kids and take photos will try and upload if i can x
ps dd complaining her pants have no pictures and just had chat with my landlady ,still have on bright pink stripey pjs and not brushed my hair this morning[afternoon] LOL!!!!

Sorry about the other property, sending positive vibes that you'll find the best place for you soon. Sounds like things are going well with business, exciting stuff. I'd probably be in my PJs longer if DD didn't have Pre School at 9.15am 4 days a week. I love being in my PJs

H is here and going to take DCs to the park whilst I do some chores. GP apt booked for Weds at 3.30pm. Feeling tearful today and fed up

Pumpkin, how did it go? Does it look like a possibility? Hope so.

Tea, I take citalopram for anxiety/depression. I felt so much better very quickly and I have no side effects. The relief was immense.

Amber, welcome. I can really identify with your situation although my ds is older.

Hi to everyone. I'll be back later if I can stay awake. Bit sleep deprived right now.

I reckon its a definate maybe lc edge of estate so right out onto moorland and got plenty for the kids and close to the town so will save on petrol.Bit bigger than i was budgeting for but i think it will be fun to have space.Anyway going to view with agent tomorrow but lots of trees and grass verges in the street so suits me fine so far .

Hi all so much chat again, hard to keep up.

Hi Amber, welcome aboard.

Pumpkin, I'm sure you will find somewhere serene to live really soon.

Tea, I hope you're feeling ok this eve.

Starting, I can so relate to your comments about passion. I need some but think I will find it hard to locate. I think I am also potentially drawn to the wrong type of man.

LC, hope things are going ok with DS/xh.

Chyler, hope the reappearance of XH is not too bad.

I can report that I have had a totally crazy time this weekend in a Bohemian way. Mman has become firm friend (yes that's all ladies) and that's prob what I need at the moment. I am still open to sh*s elsewhere tho in preference to RR. With Mman having firm friend status now I can also confirm that hugs come with this. Ah, so f**ing nice to have a good hug. Rather bizarrely, after the dire family events of the last 10 days I am still maintaining v cordial relations with BE also. (Sorry, Amber, a glossary of terms will be available at some point). It may sound funny but to actually be at a point now with BE where the hostility has gone feels v good. I wouldn't ever want him back but at least he seems to be returning to the character I once knew. Let's hope it lasts x

Waves to all xxx

I had that feeling with X last weekend Happy and i thought that was the way it should be 4 it to work,but def relapse this weekend just a total tit !Anyway better day today love and huga everyone x

Hi all, had a crap day and have just posted on 'chat' about tax credits.

Glad I came on here though cause

'DD complaining that her pants have no pictures ' is the funniest thing I've heard today

                       <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Smile" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/smile-iCO8d7ST.png">

Glad you had a nice weekend Happy

Pink you would have thought the sky was falling in the other morning, the drama that was happening, i asked her what was making her sad and she said tearfully"One of my weetabix is sinking "cue diva pose.I just had to explain sometimes in life that is what happens x

PMSL Pumpkin, she sounds adorable.

Awww Pumpkin, that is so funny . Your dd sounds ace.

How is Armbow? Anyone heard?

The critter household is peaceful tonight. XP is holed up in a hotel. I am physically and mentally exhausted but in a nice, warm, sleepy way.

Happy, you sound a bit better. Hope I'm right?

Pink, I am going to be looking at our finances this week and I'm dreading it. I need to apply for single person council tax allowance and see if I'm entitled to anything else. I am about to reduce my hors/salary by 1/3 to be able to be around for ds. That is a big chunk of cash. I shall take a peek at your thread.

Big love to everyone. x

Waves to all....

Busy night at college again tonight. Well glad to report that having vomited out my emotionaly outpouring on here I have now been restored to relative sanity again . Was also talking to rl friend this morn & tbh I think confusion of last night is all just part of moving forward. Am just going to go with the flow with Norm as long as it's enjoyable. I now feel happy & content again.

Pumpkin, sorry the original house fell through but tbh the new one sounds fab, will be visualising you happy & content in your new home . It sounds perfect for you & dc's & exactly what you deserve.

Armbow, hope you have now settled in your new home also & that you are doing ok.

Tea, sorry to hear you feeling v down. Hope Dr's visit will help you to get back on right path again ((Hugs)).

Happy, I for one am thrilled that you had such a fab w'end. Perhaps if Mman is not for s*gs then he might be able to introduce you to one of his friends who might be able to fill that role .

Pink, sorry to hear you've had a crap day, will try to locate your thread later ((Hugs))

LC, glad things have begun to settle down in the LC household.

Hi all, welcome to Amber, I ahven't been on here very long but can say that these women are all fab, they are incredibly supportive

Pumpkin, bummer about the house, but glad for you that another has cropped up, it sounds beautiful.

Tea, I'm pleased for you that you have the gp appointment, for me an appointment like that means I can count down to life being a little better. Sorry about the confusion with Noah, either way I'm glad it's positive news.

Starting, I'm happy for you that you're feeling happy again (man I sounded like a hippy then)

Happy I've no idea who Mman is, but it's nice for you that you are getting cuddles again. That's one of the things I really miss, a nice strong pair of arms holding me tight

Pink, I read your thread about the tax credits, what a shitty thing to do, I'm sorry I can't help you with that one but hope you are able to sort it out.

Well, xh is back and not a mention of them being together. He did ring me just for a chat this pm, I wasn't very chatty which he picked up on, I basically said I wasn't good enough to talk to whilst he was away and he just said it was about cost of calls!

To top it all off, I think I may lose a dog tonight. He was okay a week ago, I noticed that he had lost some wieght but seemed to be fine, but he wouldn't touch his sunday lunch yesterday and hasn't eaten anything today, I can't even tempt him with chicken. Called xh round tonight to have a look at dog, he doesn't think he'll last the night

sorry for the typo's, I need to sleep

Oh ,so sorry about ur dog mate that is totally awful ,sending you big hugs x

Pink - that is terrible about EMA. There must be a way round this. Even if you have to dob him in to the Inland Revenue. I suppose you can console yourself slightly with the fact that xh was motivated by greed not spite.

Chyler, how is your doggy? Thinking of you. We are hoping to get a rescue dog soon. Should be a better companion than xp and hopefully more faithful. I hope he has pulled through.

Starting, glad you feel more positive. It's so hard when you have a bad day to remember what a good day feels like.

My good friend is coming round in a minute. She is lovely and I can tell her anything. See you all later.

Hello ladies, I am back for a while I think - have just been a bit immersed in real life lately, which has been good and bad

I've read through this thread and I'm so sorry to hear about everyone's bad times, but it's so true that this process is a real emotional roller coaster.

I'll catch up properly tonight but since I last posted H is now going away for 10 days, and it looks as if that has turned / is turning into something more. We've also been to relate twice, which has helped me in so many ways - none of which I expected.

Hello to all the new people. Chyler I hope your dog is ok or at least goes peacefully.

Hello lovelys

Had the second night of my course last night in London. It was on communication, resolving conflict, setting healthy boundaries and good listening. Interesting stuff, as they say it is a vital skill particularly when a relationship is understrain and important if possible to be able to do this with our X's to overcome various issues.

Can't seem to find much motivation today but the flat is a mess Time to at least deal with the huge pile of washing up here and hoover at the least. Studying needs to wait as I cannot focus today.

Look foward to hearing all your news tonight

LC, motivation for H is indeed greed, I am frequently tempted to phone IR but as it's my parent's company it's something i would do as a very last resort as the implications would be huge. Not that I give a fuck about any of them.

Nothing's ever simple is it.

Chyler......I hope your dog's ok ,

there is no love like the love from a dog.xxx

5 mins on here while i feed DD...

For those talking about apathy and general lack of motivation, they really are factors in depression. I've been on low-dose fluoxetine for about 6 months and it made such an amazing difference to me that I'm pretty sure i'd been suffering from depression for years

Pink, I would be demanding all that pay that you are still owed. With interest. Family or not. Your ds is their family and he should come first to say nothing of the fact that they may have committed a criminal offence.
Had a lovely time with my friend but I am looking foorward to the day I can tell her I'm happily settled in my new life rather than recounting a story which sounds more like a soap opera script.

Hello Everyone I am back from my travels !

I have read all the last weeks thread but wont attempt to comment on so much activity apart from to say clearly there has been lots of dumpling power needed for lots of us but everyone sounds as though they have pulled through ok and are hanging in there.

I had a lovely break really peaceful and relaxing with lots of time to chill and think things through. The anniversary wasnt as upsetting as I had anticipated and in terms of emotion and pain about the end of my marriage ,ow and being on my own I really feel like I am now on the other side of the journey.

I think subconsciously xh rejecting me has been the thing that had slowed my recovery along with ow. Now I can see we are far better apart and it no longer hurts that he was the one who ended things. I expect there will be times where I will wish he had felt about me as I did him, that he had felt I was worth trying to repair the marriage for. Also that certain events hadnt had such an impact on him and changed him so much. At last I can look that saying "It is what it is" in the eye and truly accept it.

I think the proof that this is a genuine breakthrough came last night in hearing the dc talk about staying with xh and how much ow was involved with them and the latest which is that they spent a couple of nights at ows house which hasnt happened before. All this left me unmoved once I knew they seem ok with it.

Now in true dumpling spirit I want to make the next 12 months until the next anniversary transformational .This time next year I will be in a new home with a job and with plans underway for my long term career which is now resurfacing as my dream. My dc and I will be happily established in our new lives which will include xh but for me just without all the emotional labels.

I have written to the sol today with all the details of his offer to me and we will go from there. If it transpires that we have to become involved in a legal process , which I sincerely hope isnt the case,then I will try and deal with it as a business matter. At any rate not allow it to occupy me 24/7.

This is a big step forward for me and when I first joined this fantastic thread in June I would never have imagined I could be in this place so soon. Yes there will be lows to come when we have to leave here, ds birthday and christmas which will all be firsts on my own although the latter were severely compromised last year .Its taken a lot of soul searching , reading,grieving and taking support here and in rl to arrive but for any lurkers or new dumplings (welcome amber) it can be done it does get easier. At last I have become my name

Anyway that was all rather me me me but I feel the better for posting it

Waves to everyone I really missed checking in here and hearing all the highs and lows we are an amazing bunch