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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

why so many mums harbour jealousy and blank...

201 replies

bwhiskey · 01/10/2010 11:46

you during school run? my son is now seven, and not all, but so many of the mums just will not speak to me, and ive done no wrong and i am friendly and look normal enough.

this group are quite cliquish and gossipy, but it does hurt that they just blank me, and ive given up trying to make new friends - that clearly isnt what the school run is about, sadly.

my partner thinks its down to two things - one - they are just typical provincial women who dont want to take in 'outsiders' - and also that my son is very good looking and my partner thinks some mums are jealous. which if this is the case, that is just silly.

the other week, though, i do remember as my son fell of his bike coming out of school and hit his head against one of the mum's vans, all she could say was 'oh, hope he didnt dent my van' and drove off before i could reply or even register how offensive that remark was.

i recently threw a birthday party for my son and invited all his classmates. i was very pleased that nearly all turned up (many of them children of these mums). Saying that, though, on the day, they all sat there in this village hall clustered, stoney faced, and miserable, and at exactly 2 hours after the party started, even though the cake hadnt been brought out yet (we ran a bit behind given the games and prizes went on a bit, but the children didnt mind!), and 2 hours later, on the money, most of this group of this clique got up to go, simply because the party went on an extra ten minutes. though they were quite happy to wait for their loot bags, which i rushed to get them.

i was a bit racked off given i spent hours making this cake myself, and i spent 250 quid on the party, much of it was for loot bags and prizes and a pinata and the rest, and it was as if i'd shot one of their kids given a few - one man included - got outright angry that I dared to have a child's party go over the 2 hour 'limit' they are used to.

had anyone offered to help with the games or anything else, given it was only myself and partner doing the whole thing with 20 children? Not a soul.

Anyway, and i reckon because of this, one mum who used to speak to me daily has now stopped speaking to me. i did clock that her partner had taken her son to this party (she had to work), not her, and i did clock the fact he was also really angered that it went on ten - fifteen minutes longer than their expected 2 hour 'limit' as he made a point of muttering 'bl*dy something or other' at my back as he passed. ungrateful a*hole? you mite think...

its so incredibly stupid, and it makes me just wish i never bothered but then I dont want to kill the children's fun. - either that, or next year, write on the invite - children only, thanks. i mean, who wants that kind of misery around you? i know children's parties can be boring for the parents - i know, ive been to many, but i would never get up and leave when a party hadnt finished, unless i absolutely had to be somewhere - and they didnt.

also to this - the following week, a dad (who had not been at the party) approched me just to tell me that his son said that my son's party was the 'best ever.' also, one of his classmates said this as well. which was rewarding...

did any of the mums say anything? not ONE.

i decided not to bother with thank you cards...

anyone care to explain this without lecturing me with regard to the fact I 'broke' party protocol and went a bit over the two hours (no children complained!) ???

it would be so nice to be able to throw a children's party without p*ssing off or annoying or 'putting out' parents who bring their kids to these things purely out of duty and get no joy seeing their kids have fun. trust me, if you could have seen this group and their faces, you'd know what i mean...!

OP posts:
ChaosTrulyReigns · 01/10/2010 14:22

Stimulating and nearly n0n bitchy thread.

ChaosTrulyReigns · 01/10/2010 14:23
ChaosTrulyReigns · 01/10/2010 14:23
Fimbo · 01/10/2010 14:24

I am actually snorting at this thread. Genius

buttonmoon78 · 01/10/2010 14:28

Grin at typoing course

Reality · 01/10/2010 14:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OracleInaCoracle · 01/10/2010 14:36

buggeration, i do a good deed and take mil and auntie to asda, pick up prescriptions etc and i miss the first great thread on mn for yonks

and now noone will answer me because of my stunningly attractive child, and they are all intimidated by my non provincial and superior party throwing skills

buttonmoon78 · 01/10/2010 14:39

Another one up her own bum... Grin

Just because you turn up late to the party you can't assume you can join in. Even if you were doing a good deed.

The criteria are there for all to see. Are you fat? Sad? A bitch?

OracleInaCoracle · 01/10/2010 14:41

im not fat, but i am a bit sad and definately occasionallyt a bitch.
why? you jealous? Wink

buttonmoon78 · 01/10/2010 14:45

Jealous? Moi?

I think we'll let you in as you've ticked 2 of 3 boxes.

OracleInaCoracle · 01/10/2010 14:46

yay!!!!

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 01/10/2010 14:48

I adore [wunk] Grin

Ah, I love these threads

Ineedmorechocolatenow · 01/10/2010 14:49

What a bonkers thread! Grin

OP you sound so lovely and gracious, I'm astounded that they don't want to be friends with you.... Hmm

Portofino · 01/10/2010 14:52

Oh one of these Poncey things you mean? Isn't that what they invented clingfilm for?

GetOrfMoiLand · 01/10/2010 14:54

At least it wasn't [wank]

OracleInaCoracle · 01/10/2010 14:55

oh damn you porto, now I need one of those...

ChaosTrulyReigns · 01/10/2010 15:03

Yes Get0rf thank flock for qwerty keyboards where the a and i are just distant cousins separated by an 0cean of consternance. Grin

soverign21 · 01/10/2010 16:00

rotfpmsl :o

was pointed in this direction for the laugh factor and laugh i did thanks girls

Oh and yes any chance i get i dump my DC :o

aquavit · 01/10/2010 16:16

ocean of consternance has made my day

thankyou chaos

colditz · 01/10/2010 16:22

You're over-reactive. This is why people aren't making friends with you. I find this type of person, instantly offended and unforgiving of 'crimes') to be too much hard work to spend time with, so don't bother.

SadFatUberBitch · 01/10/2010 16:22

Blimey!

StillSquiffy · 01/10/2010 16:32
Stangirl · 01/10/2010 16:35

Hats off to you ladies - you've made my day. I'm hoping to be invited to OP's next party so I can dump DC.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 01/10/2010 16:37

I find that if practically nobody likes you, it could be that you have had the amazingly bad luck to encounter more than your fair share of horrible people.

But more than likely if practically nobody likes you it's because you're not a very likable person.

Sad but true.

ManiPedi · 01/10/2010 16:57

I know someone like the OP - everyone is awful, everyone is wrong, but like my FIL said, who is the common denominator? Hmm