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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

why so many mums harbour jealousy and blank...

201 replies

bwhiskey · 01/10/2010 11:46

you during school run? my son is now seven, and not all, but so many of the mums just will not speak to me, and ive done no wrong and i am friendly and look normal enough.

this group are quite cliquish and gossipy, but it does hurt that they just blank me, and ive given up trying to make new friends - that clearly isnt what the school run is about, sadly.

my partner thinks its down to two things - one - they are just typical provincial women who dont want to take in 'outsiders' - and also that my son is very good looking and my partner thinks some mums are jealous. which if this is the case, that is just silly.

the other week, though, i do remember as my son fell of his bike coming out of school and hit his head against one of the mum's vans, all she could say was 'oh, hope he didnt dent my van' and drove off before i could reply or even register how offensive that remark was.

i recently threw a birthday party for my son and invited all his classmates. i was very pleased that nearly all turned up (many of them children of these mums). Saying that, though, on the day, they all sat there in this village hall clustered, stoney faced, and miserable, and at exactly 2 hours after the party started, even though the cake hadnt been brought out yet (we ran a bit behind given the games and prizes went on a bit, but the children didnt mind!), and 2 hours later, on the money, most of this group of this clique got up to go, simply because the party went on an extra ten minutes. though they were quite happy to wait for their loot bags, which i rushed to get them.

i was a bit racked off given i spent hours making this cake myself, and i spent 250 quid on the party, much of it was for loot bags and prizes and a pinata and the rest, and it was as if i'd shot one of their kids given a few - one man included - got outright angry that I dared to have a child's party go over the 2 hour 'limit' they are used to.

had anyone offered to help with the games or anything else, given it was only myself and partner doing the whole thing with 20 children? Not a soul.

Anyway, and i reckon because of this, one mum who used to speak to me daily has now stopped speaking to me. i did clock that her partner had taken her son to this party (she had to work), not her, and i did clock the fact he was also really angered that it went on ten - fifteen minutes longer than their expected 2 hour 'limit' as he made a point of muttering 'bl*dy something or other' at my back as he passed. ungrateful a*hole? you mite think...

its so incredibly stupid, and it makes me just wish i never bothered but then I dont want to kill the children's fun. - either that, or next year, write on the invite - children only, thanks. i mean, who wants that kind of misery around you? i know children's parties can be boring for the parents - i know, ive been to many, but i would never get up and leave when a party hadnt finished, unless i absolutely had to be somewhere - and they didnt.

also to this - the following week, a dad (who had not been at the party) approched me just to tell me that his son said that my son's party was the 'best ever.' also, one of his classmates said this as well. which was rewarding...

did any of the mums say anything? not ONE.

i decided not to bother with thank you cards...

anyone care to explain this without lecturing me with regard to the fact I 'broke' party protocol and went a bit over the two hours (no children complained!) ???

it would be so nice to be able to throw a children's party without p*ssing off or annoying or 'putting out' parents who bring their kids to these things purely out of duty and get no joy seeing their kids have fun. trust me, if you could have seen this group and their faces, you'd know what i mean...!

OP posts:
MaMoTTaT · 01/10/2010 13:17

cor blimey - slow down ladies - I'll have the benefits bashers on me soon - making extra money on the side Grin

arfasleep · 01/10/2010 13:17

OP, up until your 'rant' Confused, you had many supportive posts but one or two slightly negative ones. Your whole 'rant' post was directed towards the negative ones with one line about supportive!! You seem to be ignoring supportive posters & jumping on any slight negativity. Don't understand & wonder if this is how you are in RL, ignoring 'friendly' people & focusing too much on those who aren't.

Portofino · 01/10/2010 13:18

Belgium!

MaMoTTaT · 01/10/2010 13:18

you can have the small snuggly one if you want - we're mid toilet/potty training..............

FindingMyMojo · 01/10/2010 13:18

never has a MN'er answered her own questions and solved (superficially at least) her own rather complex problems, with such swift ease & fantastic skill & unintended humour before, in the history of the MNworld, ever!

ChaosTrulyReigns · 01/10/2010 13:20

bum

Portofino · 01/10/2010 13:21

Aaaah. Never did that with a boy before.....

GetOrfMoiLand · 01/10/2010 13:21

I am loving this thread but am now absolutely HOWLING at the randomly funny 'I am with0ut the f0urth v0wel' Grin

pagwatch · 01/10/2010 13:22
Grin
MaMoTTaT · 01/10/2010 13:23

yes the last fourth vowel is very Grin

what would we would do if we lost all our vowels???

@3!0 ermm - what do to for the last vowel???

puddlepuss · 01/10/2010 13:25

I think a little bit of pee just came out Grin.

Thank you bwhisky. I was having a shit day until I read this.

GetOrfMoiLand · 01/10/2010 13:25

EXPLAIN Chaos:

'I have cancelled all my arrangements for t0m0rr0w. Where d0 y0u live?'

And Portofino says Belgium Grin

Did you cancel a game of darts with your MIL in order to have a cup of tea with Portfo but not know where she lives?

lolol

MaMoTTaT · 01/10/2010 13:28

I rather like Cha0s' response

"bum"

reminds me of last night reasding DS3 an "opposites" books.

"the lovely caterpillar is on the top of the leaf - the lovely caterpillar is on the BUM of the leaf" (according to DS3)

pagwatch · 01/10/2010 13:30

I laughed out loud and awoke the dog

I want them to be meeting in w00dst0ck... or Tr00n..and can it be s00n, or at n00n?

Portofino · 01/10/2010 13:32

I t00 was confused! I th0ught maybe she was h0ping to sell me 0ne 0f her children t00!

Then I remembered Gerard Butler and the ch0c0late biscuits....

Portofino · 01/10/2010 13:33

Or maybe we do have a long standing arrangement that I have forgotten about!

Portofino · 01/10/2010 13:34

I am supposed to be working! But this is more fun!

buttonmoon78 · 01/10/2010 13:39

I am supp0sed t0 be cleaning the kitchen but I can't drag myself away! Why is this n0t yet in the discussi0ns 0f the day?

pagwatch · 01/10/2010 13:40

wh0 kn0ws...

buttonmoon78 · 01/10/2010 13:43

Aha - the uber-bitches 0ne is in m0st active.

I am now satisfied...

ChaosTrulyReigns · 01/10/2010 13:48

Y0u l0ngtime bitches, laughing at my inadequate smartph0ne. I think 0i'm orf to j0in the thread which will give me adv0ice 0n h0w t0 bl0ck individual p0sters.

0h and t0 th0se 0f y0u wh0 larfed at my f00d c0ver thread - want me t0 0il y0ur weap0n?

hah. and fark 0rf.

ChaosTrulyReigns · 01/10/2010 13:49

[wunk]

ChaosTrulyReigns · 01/10/2010 13:49

ffs Wink

GetOrfMoiLand · 01/10/2010 13:50

l0l at Cha0s.

Bless y0u. PLEASE explain what y0u are 0n ab0ut re P0rt0fin0 in Belgium.

pagwatch · 01/10/2010 13:52

I want to know about belgium. Are waffles involved?