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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How is life after a vasectomy ? Help me convince Dh !!

136 replies

youarebustedmydear · 27/09/2010 16:39

Dh has a consultation coming up soon, at first he was really happy going throught with it but somehow I feel he is getting cold feet. I dont want him to feel bullied into having it done so that is why I'm asking you to tell us about your experience !

OP posts:
marge2 · 28/09/2010 12:44

My DH had his FIRST vasectomy with his ex after three kids. She promtly sodded off. Move forward 10 years. We are now married. He had a reversal - I was preggers less than a month later!!!!!! Two kids in less than 2 years.

The first vasectomy wasn't too bad he said ...but the SECOND one....he was in there a BLOODY long time!! poor thing! lots of scar tissue to hack through apparently. It all still works fine though!!

allbie · 28/09/2010 12:51

Littlewish- I am so sorry for your loss. We too had apost-vasectomy baby...7yrs after it had been done! Our surgeons 1st failure in 30yrs. We already had 3 others. It was a huge shock but luckily for us we did have a healthy baby. My DH went on to be 'done' again, this time under general and I was sterilized too. Belt and braces. His recovery time wasn't too bad..a few bruises and a bit of swelling but no change in our sex life!

civil · 28/09/2010 13:03

Great, stress-free sex - I would highly recommend it.

(although, you have to wait until you get the all clear, so delayed gratification)

Arcadie · 28/09/2010 13:20

Youarebustedmydear Do you want any horror stories? For nearly 4 months after my DH's snip I have some to tell- but I won't if you don't want any.... (although one involves a trip to A&E in an ambulance with a few ccs of morphone in him....Grin)

Arcadie · 28/09/2010 13:21

Yes, morphone. That incredible opiate.... MORPHINE I mean..

SeaShellsOnTheSeaShore · 28/09/2010 13:23

How old were your dps when they had it done? Dh and I have v briefly discussed it, but I wonder when we would seriously consider it ....

expatinscotland · 28/09/2010 13:26

DH is 33 next month.

We have three children, age 7, 4 and 1 (he'll be 2 in November).

The eldest has dyspraxia (so does DH, his father and his brother).

ShadeofViolet · 28/09/2010 13:29

My DH is having his next week - he is having it under GA and I am more nervous about that!

How long will it take for his sperm count to get to zero?

Malificence · 28/09/2010 13:40

SOV, see my post upthread. Wink

JuicyLips · 28/09/2010 13:44

Dh had his done in july this year. Done under GA. He was a bit bruised for a couple of days but he rested for those days and was back at work after that. He did do a john wayne walk for a while tho. He's fine now. He still has to wait and see if he is clear in November., so havens had the benefits of it yet but am looking forward to not worrying. He was 22 (birthday since) but was very definite on his decision. The nurses were really lovely I have to say.

ProfYaffle · 28/09/2010 13:56

I'm surprised to see so many GA's. dh went to a local GP surgery, had a local, out within 30 mins.

expatinscotland · 28/09/2010 13:58

DH was offered GA. He thought it was a bit like using a sledgehammer to swat a fly so declined and had it under local. He's had plenty of stitches, though, and also tatts so he's well 'ard.

ShadeofViolet · 28/09/2010 13:59

My DH is only having a GA as he is having some fluid removed too, otherwise he would be having it at the local clinic.

ProfYaffle · 28/09/2010 13:59

Glad it wasn't a sledgehammer to crack a nut Wink

ShadeofViolet · 28/09/2010 14:00

:o

JuicyLips · 28/09/2010 14:01

I think mine was glad it was GA, he told me he was worried that if it had been local he might've twitched at the wrong moment!

ProfYaffle · 28/09/2010 14:15

dh twitched like fuck - in fact his contact lenses popped out!

SassySusan · 28/09/2010 14:17

I would worry about doing something so permanent tbh.

We thought we had finished our family. Then our DD (aged nearly 4) died suddenly from an infection. Losing DCs is quite rare, but it does happen, and it often changes how you might feel about having more.

There are also other less drastic situations (like divorce and death of a spouse) that may change your perspective too.

I had a long term (over a decade) bf in my 20s who had the snip - we were both sure we NEVER wanted kids... I obviously changed my mind! In terms of the procedure, I wouldn't say it was too bad - though the swelling was pretty impressive!

AnyFucker · 28/09/2010 14:17

larry, FWIW, my posts have been light-hearted on this thread

Littlewish...what a devastating thng to happen, I am very sorry x

Malificence · 28/09/2010 14:28

Sassy, I hardly call the death of a spouse less drastic!
The whole point of vasectomy is it's permanence - what if the woman cannot risk another pregnancy due to medical reasons?

You can't live your life on the premise of what might happen to your family in the future.

SassySusan · 28/09/2010 16:43

Sorry - I wasn't meaning to suggest that losing a spouse isn't very difficult - it obviously is.

I actually think thinking through what might happen in future is a pretty reasonable way of approaching life. I have changed my mind (once because I just did, as people do, and again for fairly extreme reasons) plenty of people change their minds - hence the number of people on fertility forums discussing reversals.

The pemanence would bother me when there are other methods... but I agree it is a very personal decision.

AnyFucker · 28/09/2010 17:28

susan...sometimes other methods just cannot be used

in our situation, it was sterilisation versus vasectomy

no contest

Alouiseg · 28/09/2010 18:03

It's been fab for us. Dh had some semen frozen first which softened the blow for him and for "just in case" scenarios.

I was with dh when he had it done, I watched the whole thing, it smelt like burning hair and the tubes look like udon noodles :o

expatinscotland · 28/09/2010 18:11

Us, too, AnyFucker.

In our case, too, it would not be a wise decision to have more no matter what happens.

I experienced increasinly worse ante- and post-natal depression with each child. I'm also nearly 40 and tbh, for me, I feel too old to cope with another pregnancy. I had our third at nearly 38 and found it much much much harder on my body than even when I had my first at 32.

DH appears to have an inherited form of disability.

We didn't have any success with any other methods of birth control that we could use reliably.

A lot of people say, 'Well, men can keep fathering children later,' but can they support them? Because to us, that's really important, and the reality is that if I dropped dead tomorrow, DH will have enough on his hand trying to feed and bring up three.

If he drops off tomorrow, I don't want anymore. Ever. Don't care if new partner or whatever. It's just a no, I'm too old.

youarebustedmydear · 28/09/2010 18:18

Thank you very much for talking about it with us ! Sassy, I'm so sorry about the loss your little girl.

I didnt know you could request to freeze some sperm, is it a common request ? I think dh will love that, just in case of..

OP posts: