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Original poster

How is life after a vasectomy ? Help me convince Dh !!

136 replies

youarebustedmydear · 27/09/2010 16:39

Dh has a consultation coming up soon, at first he was really happy going throught with it but somehow I feel he is getting cold feet. I dont want him to feel bullied into having it done so that is why I'm asking you to tell us about your experience !

OP posts:

frazzledblob · 27/09/2010 16:57

I will let you know next week as DH has his this week

He is happy stopping at two whereas I would have liked more DC. We have talked about it quite a bit and he felt that as he did not want anymore DC he should do something about it. I have issues with most contraceptives so this seemed like the best option for both of us.

Could your DH be like mine in that he has no desire to discuss it now the appointment is getting closer but it is not cold feet as such, he just does'nt want to 'think' about the actual procedure?!

Pixie83 · 27/09/2010 17:03

For us it was all good. We have 3 children and definitely didn't want any more. He was understandably a bit nervous about the procedure, but he said afterwards it really wasn't too bad. The injection to numb his bits obviously hurt a bit, but after that he said it was fine and also really quick. The next day he felt very bruised and took the day off work, and it did look quite scary (very purple and swollen!!) but literally the day after he said it was a bit of a dull ache. A few days later he was completely fine.

And in terms of the effect on jiggy-hoo, it is so much better just being able to go for it without having to faff about getting prepared first! We definitely do it more now as a result - with alot more spontenaity, ie whenever we fancy it and the kids aren't about we can always have a quickie, just like that - tell him that if you really want to convince him - ha ha

Original poster

youarebustedmydear · 27/09/2010 17:32

We have 2 and we definitely want to stop. It took us 2 years to reach that decision. I think he is scared to do something drastic and often says : Oh well it is reversible in case of we change our mind !! Or what if we get a divorce and I want more children ?

I have tried the pill and I cant bear it, cant bear the tought of the coils, implant, etc...

OP posts:

roomonthebroom · 27/09/2010 17:53

Hi,

Just a word of caution, don't go into it thinking it is reversible- there are loads of couples on a fertility forum I go on who have had failed reversals or who have had a reversal but have very low sperm counts and / or a high number of damaged sperm, making natural conception impossible.

What about trying a diaphram? Fiddly I know, but no hormones. I know a few people who swear by the coil, although the idea of it does take a bit of getting used to.

Original poster

youarebustedmydear · 27/09/2010 18:15

The thing is I dont want him to have a reversal. I'm sure I dont want to have anymore children, we are happy with the 2 we have !

In 2008, we had a contraception failure which resulted into an unwanted pregnancy. We were not in a good position at all to have another child so I had to have a termination. It was awful, I never want to go trought that again.

OP posts:

herecomesthesun · 27/09/2010 18:48

Hello there

My husband had his after we fell pregnant with DS when DD was just three months old. We now have two beautiful children but were completely sure that we wouldn't want any more in future so he had the snip.

I went in with him and held his hand throughout, it was really nothing to worry about. DH said that the injection to numb the area was the worst bit and he didn't feel anything else. He walked back to the car straight after no problem. He spent the rest of the day (friday) and the next day laying horizontally on the sofa, the dr recommended this to avoid swelling and bruising and he therefore didn't have any swelling or bruising at all and was back at work on the monday.

Nothing to it.

frogs · 27/09/2010 18:52

It's the same as life before a vasectomy, but without the worry of getting pregnant.

And tell your dh that the nurses are particularly nice to blokes coming in for the snip, because they're obviously Good Blokes Doing the Decent Thing for their women.

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 27/09/2010 18:57

We've got 3 kids (the youngest was a pleasant surprise, as they say) and we are old, so a vasectomy was the only solution as far as we were both concerned. I don't like mucking about with hormones and neither of us like condoms. The actual surgery was nowhere near as bad as he thought it would be, the doctor who did it was lovely apparently (or in the words of DH "quite fanciable really, in different circumstances" ) there was minimal bruising and discomfort and we can now go for it without worrying about another little surprise. Best thing we/he did.

springlamb · 27/09/2010 19:04

Well DH had watched me go through 2 c-sections and then a failed attempt at sterilisation (too much scar tissue from the sections to reach the tubes), so it really was time he had a go himself.
It's marvellous. Everything (and I do mean everything) is working very well. It took a few months to get a clear result but oh the relief. An odd effect seems to be that things last longer than before. 'Tis very odd. But no complaints.

Original poster

youarebustedmydear · 27/09/2010 19:28

Thank you very much for sharing your experiences with me !

OP posts:

Malificence · 27/09/2010 20:09

I wish my DH had had his 10 years ago!

It really is the best option when you don't want any more children.

If he's worried about what will happen to his "manhood", he will be exactly the same physically - they still produce sperm, it simply can't get through, and his man-juice will not change in volume, taste or texture .

AnyFucker · 27/09/2010 20:16

"life" is just the same

except (virtually) no risk of pregnancy...all good if you are both sure about that

is your Dh one of those silly men who thinks having a vasectomy de-masculates him ?

give him a slap and tell him to get on with it

Original poster

youarebustedmydear · 27/09/2010 20:26

Dh is happy with what you have said !! He is also very happy thinking of all the tlc he is going to get after the surgery !! I promised him a big fry up afterwards !

OP posts:

Original poster

youarebustedmydear · 27/09/2010 20:27

anyfucker - no I think he feared the surgery, cant blame him really and I think it is a big step for him !

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 27/09/2010 20:39

surgery ???

surgery?

it isn't surgery...it is a quick snip

I call pushing a watermelon out of something that started off as the size of a 10 pence piece surgery

fgs, let me slap him

Malificence · 27/09/2010 20:41

Very tight pants are the best advice I can give for him post surgery, even to sleep in, DH didn't heed this advice as he can't bear to sleep in pants and he suffered greatly for it.

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 27/09/2010 20:49

DH still has his horrible tight y fronts he bought for the op - and worse, insists on wearing them from time to time. A few have made it to the dustbin without his knowledge, but I've allowed him a couple of pairs - I'm really too good to him.

It is surgery AF - not sure I'd want a needle stuck in my bits without anaesthetic, then a cut made, bits pulled out and then snipped away. Of course, what we go through is something they can only imagine in their worst nightmares etc etc but it's not something I'd relish. Don't tell DH that though - told him my hours of searing agony beats his 15 minutes of it being a wee bit nippy.

Original poster

youarebustedmydear · 27/09/2010 20:50

anyfucker - dont be mean to him, this thread helped him ! Ok it is not a surgery, just a little cut !

thanks mal, will bear that in mind !!

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AnyFucker · 27/09/2010 20:52

bloody big babies, the lot of 'em !

Original poster

youarebustedmydear · 27/09/2010 20:59

Today was the last day he could book his consultation so I have texted him : Allo, I'm the ball's fairy !! When can I come and do my collection ???? You wont probably find this funny but I couldnt help myself !!

OP posts:

frazzledblob · 27/09/2010 21:02

Glad to hear your DH is feeling better about the procedure

I think making a fry up is pushing the boat out a bit far though. DH did'nt even make me a cuppa after I had my 10 pence piece surgically altered by having 10lb ds

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 27/09/2010 21:03

You must not fall about laughing too much - they are sensitive little creatures really

AnyFucker · 27/09/2010 21:07

brilliant !

Sidge · 27/09/2010 21:08

The best thing is great sex afterwards (well not immediately afterwards of course) because there are no contraceptive worries.

BUT make sure you use contraception until he gets the 100% all clear. My DH had to have the snip twice as it didn't work the first time, and he got an infection the first time too which gave him a lot of pain and make his bollocks look like aubergines.

Original poster

youarebustedmydear · 27/09/2010 21:08

I know they are but sometimes, it is difficult not to laught !! He took the piss out of me when I gave birth to the dds (more than 10 pounds as well) ! When he had his hernia taken out, his balls were all black/blue/purple so I'm expecting pretty much the same !!!

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