The Brave Babes Carry On The Charabanc Trip - Leaving The Booze Behind!

[Mouseface]

Hello and welcome!

This is thread number eight!

The Brave Babes are all at different stages of quitting the booze. Some have stopped, some are thinking about it and some are just cutting down.

They are full of support and wisdom for those of you wishing to climb aboard the Bus or Charabanc!!

The Babes aren't an exclusive club, they never judge and they don't charge for advice either!

So, come meet them. I'm Mouse, by the way, and I've been sober since August 2nd 2010, something I would never have even considered without the support of these threads.

Here are the first seven threads, if you want a bit of history.

JWN's original thread

Thread two

Thread three

Thread four

Thread five

Thread six

Thread seven

Hi Babes

Just home - well done to everyone who stayed sober last night.

Well went and met DP and we talked - I told him I genuinely didn't realise how anti-drugs he was and that I had got rid of it and won't smoke it again- I also told him that we have to agree to disagree about cannabis - personally I think in moderation it's fine (not the mad Skunk stuff tho). He said he couldn't live in a house where there was something illegal- the man has never so much broken the speed limit in his life and I do sometimes wonder how we ended up together!!!

As for the drinking I said that deep down I think I wanted him to find out so that I had to stop again, otherwise I would have just carried on with every bottle 'being the last one'. He said he understood how hard I was trying and he knows it's not easy. I told him about how fantastic this site is and how much I have come to rely on it.

We went for a lovely lunch and he's coming home after work tonight.

So all in all things couldn't have worked out better - now I just have to do the hard part and not drink - stopping the cannabis doesn't bother me and it was just substituting one mind altering substance for another so good riddance to it.

Mouse I'm glad you got some fresh air today - maybe you should set yourself a little goal each day - just nip to the shop for a pint of milk or something - I realise that probably isn't as simple as it sounds with Nemo - just a thought.

xxxxx

So here I am again back to day one of sobriety

SAF - it's not the end of the world and if you are drinking you might as well enjoy it!!

Just try again tomorrow

That's all any of us can do.

I've been sitting here thinking now I've sorted problem with DP I would dearly love a chilled glass of white - so I made a cup of tea and ate some chocolate biscuits instead.

Off to collect DD so may not get a chance to post again tonight as she'll have the lap-top off me no doubt.

Good luck to everyone for this evening

Silver - I'm so pleased for you!! Well done for being honest. That part about how on earth you ended up together is like me and DH!

I was the mad clubber, coke snorting piss head and he was and still is Mr Anti Drugs! Neve been clubbing in his life! Chalk and cheese!

SAF - I echo what Silver says. Enjoy it and try again tomorrow xx

Really glad to hear about things silver and you are right, all you can do it demonstrate to him, (and most of all to yourself) that just taking it one day at a time, you CAN and WILL do it. Have a great evening.

SAF, you sounds exactly like I would be. A couple of drinks, then what the hell, might as well buy some more. Is there any way that you can stop before you finish the lot? You know that each beer you don't drink will make you feel a little less crap tomorrow. Glad that you still felt that you could come and 'tell all' on here. There are so many places in our real lives that we hide / have hidden our drinking and if this is one place that is different then that's great.

I've been out all day and have just got in and dp is not back from work yet. We're currently having a text debate about whether he's too tired to take me out to eat, or whether I'm too tired to cook. It's looking like cheese and biscuits and an apple for tea.

Mouse and Silver don't know how dp and I got together either. He is Mr fit and healthy running and cycling maniac. I am not. I do not like anything that hurts (like exercise) and my hobbies are eatig and cooking and cooking and eating.

venus!!

I've had a drink. I have a shared ownership flat in East London I bought a pathetic 35% share of when I was a nurse.
I bought it in 2004 and it was valued at £150,000. Now it is worth £130,000. Have been renting it out (to a couple who agreed to a rent increase in order to stay till August) but since they've moved on I can't rent it out for the amount I need to cover the mortgage.
I have no job (and me and DP have no money, we are living with family with our kids) and am facing repossession.
We've been to the CAB. There is no way out of this unless I "leave" DP, move back into the flat with the girls and claim housing benefit.
Am not prepared to do that. Am scared. Think I'm screwed and badly need a drink.

I accept I will wake up in the middle of the night (as per usual after a night on the sauce) but for now I don't care.
I need to stop worrying and no one, not DP or my parents can help me.
If you're repossessed (have started paying a "token" amount to the Halifax for the mortgage from last month but cannot do this for long) then what happens?

I'm 41 FFS. I met a bloke (finally) who I loved and wanted to have kids with. I had my career (nursing sister) and wanted to be settled, committed to someone, have kids.
It's all totally screwed.
He told me I could give up work to raise my babies. He was living in a fantasy world. He just wanted to make me happy. I understand that but it was all turned out very differently.
Going to log off now. I need to talk to my parents and consider my options.
Goodnight brave babes. X

Luci - so very sorry that you are facing this. Nothing anyone can say wil make you not drink tonight as you already have.

WRT repo - the Halifax will sell the property to cover the debt that you owe. It's complicated as to what else they may try to recover, costs etc. Each lender has their own rules.

The best thing that you can do is as advised. Can no-one else help you out? Family? Friends?

Please don't give up sweetheart. xx

The MOST RIDICULOUS SITUATION AFTER TODAY

We went to see my solicitor this afternoon , after lovely lunch etc, and I have either dropped my librium in her office or lost them while shopping afterwards. So I have gone into panic mode as won't be able to get them back till tomorrow - or get another prescription - so have had to delay sobriety tonight - with DP's agreement - in fact he's been so cool about it I still wonder if he realises how bad my drinking problem is - anyway made him join me with a couple of beers and I shall bloody enjoy this wine as it will be my last ever bottle. BTW yes it is partly an excuse for one more night of drinking but there are also big withdrawal from librium - currently on a reduction programme. Seeing GP on Monday.

Luci - I'm sure you can have an initial session with a solicitor for free to see where you stand or Citizen's Advice? What about those companies that buy your property and then rent it back to you - I'm sure you will have looked into all of that but just in case.

Be brave you will find a solution and as long as you have the love of your family you will survive this crisis xxx

sorry LUCI - just seen you've already been to CAB.............

Silver - enjoy your night xx

No problem Silver. I have been facing up to the fact that I am probably screwed for a few months now. Was hoping against hope that the value of the flat had remained the same at least. Am gutted that it's worth £20,000 less than 6 years ago.
We live with inlaws (DP earns an "ok"wage for London, not great but not shit...too much to apply for a council flat and too little to rent a decent house for 4 (sometimes 6 people with the step-kids) people.
My parents live up North. They'd help us but DP would never move up to Newcastle because his kids from first marriage live here in London.
It's all such a mess. {sad}
Am signing off for tonight.
Sorry for being so self-indulgent.
Hope all you wonderful, supportive and brave babes have a sober, safe and peaceful night's sleep.

Take good care Luci xx

night Luci - try not to worry.

mouse thanks for not judging me. Tomorrow is a new day and I feel very positive that I will hopefully never have to lie again, by omission, to those who love and care about me (and that includes you lot!)

Mouse I was thinking about your AD's - how long have you been taking them? It might be that you need to try a different kind - just a thought. And if it's not too complicated could you explain in simple terms about Nemo's condition. I would just like to understand a bit better

xxxx

Silver - my profile has his conditions on..... but basically, he is non oral. He doesn't eat. He is tube fed. He has delayed development, about 6 months at present. He will need speech and language intervention as he has a wide cleft palate, next repair in Feb. He isn't walking yet but that is linked to his developmental delays. He doesn't talk, just grunts. He spent a long time healing after his heart surgery at 6 months old. He fought.

But.....I love him with all of my heart and soul. He is my world and my reason for being. He makes my heart beat so strongly.

We didn't know he had SN before he was born. Such a shock. So much grief. But we have kept him here. He has nearly lost his life three times in ICU. Three times I have said goodbye to him.

And each time he recovered. He is Nemo for that very reason. The survivour.

Silver - I'd never judge you sweethreat, or anyone else on here. We have ALL been in your shoes. We have ALL fallen. And some way worse than others. Way worse than you.

Be kind to yourself. Be gentle tomorrow. Take your time and get to the place you need to be before you try again, ok?

xxxxx

Silver re the ADs, only been 9 days.....need to leave it a bit longer yet. But thank you xxx

Oh Luci what a horrible, horrible position to be in. But you know people do survive, and you will, and you and your family can stay strong and together despite all the shit stuff.

You said you cna't get enough rent on the flat to cover the mortgage, but what CAN you get? What is the shortfall? What can you do to make up the shortfall? Can you get a part-time jobin the evenings while your dh (and PILs) are around to look after the dc?

You said in earlier posts that you were hoping to move out of PILs house in November - what was / is going to happen that might make that possible?

I have forgotten how old your dcs are. Anyway, I hope you manage to get some sleep. Taake care Luci.

Hi Mouse how lovely to see you being such a support and comfort to others. I know that I have found that posting to others has been a big part of helping me to focus on why I too want to stay sober.

Have a good evening you wonderful woman x

I missed you posting venus. Hope to see more of you soon xx

I read your profile ages ago Mouse - sorry to be so thick but what does SN stand for? If I know I can google it! And what a strong little boy - with an incredible mother.

You are truly an inspiration and have helped me move forward so well - I had time today to read a lot of the old threads - god I don't sound like a stalker do I!!! But I seem to identify with you in particular - raves, ecstasy, cocaine, weed - at 44 now I was at the tail end of the rave scene - but show me a strobe light and a flourescent band and I still feel the need to dance!!

The Hacienda - what a time!

xx

ps - realistically with the AD's I think they will calm down in about a month from when you started them - not a doctor but from my own experince xxx