The Brave Babes Carry On The Charabanc Trip - Leaving The Booze Behind!

[Mouseface]

Hello and welcome!

This is thread number eight!

The Brave Babes are all at different stages of quitting the booze. Some have stopped, some are thinking about it and some are just cutting down.

They are full of support and wisdom for those of you wishing to climb aboard the Bus or Charabanc!!

The Babes aren't an exclusive club, they never judge and they don't charge for advice either!

So, come meet them. I'm Mouse, by the way, and I've been sober since August 2nd 2010, something I would never have even considered without the support of these threads.

Here are the first seven threads, if you want a bit of history.

JWN's original thread

Thread two

Thread three

Thread four

Thread five

Thread six

Thread seven

*FLOODING

Anyway lovely Babes, that's it for me today. Thanks for all the lovely words of support and all your kindness. I have missed you all. I hope that everyone has a good and sober evening x

Red, I think I prefer flodding, that with fongers from earlier we're rewriting the dictionary

red, i have just sent you message!!

ha ha, flodding and fongers!!

It just feels such a downer when I have felt so much better about myself this last few days. I've spent the day cleaning, washing, ironing and he's out having fun with her and my DS. I know that there will be los of triggers and hurdles, but for me this is the worst one and it's sods law that this happens today. I can't give in so soon though...I have hit the chocolate biscuits and am aiming to just keep moving...walking dog tidying etc.
thanks

Just keep away from the booze one hour/ minute/ second at a time hippy.

JWN - have replied!

I think I will go flodding with the dog later - plodding whilst swearing!!

how do i find replies?

FOUND IT!!!!

I may do some flodding later, as long as my fongers are ok

hippy - the low is normal. That's the shit thing but it passes! You think that you are doing so well and feel great and then BAMMMM!!

Just think of it as that horrid job you hate doing but you know that you have to.....cleaning the oven, defrosting the freezer, removing the lint from the dryer!

Whatever helps!

I promise, and everyone will back me up when I say it passes. You'll read your post back tomorrow and think WTF was that all about!

Life is going to be a bit roller coaster for a few days and then it will pan out again.

Go easy on yourself ok? xx

We all tend to react by reaching for a drink which solves nothing as we know, instead act first before reacting by diverting yourself and flodding to your heart's content.

Go easy on yourself Hippy - try to accept that you will be up and down for a while - when we sober up we all have to deal with feelings and emotions that we have buried with the anasthetic that is alcohol. In time you will find ways of dealing with the crap that life throws at you without having to pour poison down your throat.

Try to stay strong - we are all here for you xxxxx

Thanks...it all makes sense I know. I think this is just the first time since the shit hit the fan that I have made myself stop and think rather than just drinking. I always had to be in control when I was married because my ex's drinking was off the scale - when we split up it felt like one of the real positives that I could drink whenever I wanted to. I had no guilt about it as holding things together for me and my ds and dc was what mattered, and I didn't care how I did it. Over 2 years later I need to think about my behaviour and not just keep going back to thinking about the crap that my ex put me through.

hippy - i hope you dont mind a bit of 'armchair physcology' but i have been thinking about you for a couple of hours now, these are my ponderings! , i do wonder if your relationship with alcohol is stopping you from moving forward after your spilt? - i know when i was drinking particuarly heavily my thoughts seem to stay focused on the past, they were very dark, depressing and ultimalty quite stifling thoughts, i would go over and over all the bad times with my 2 ex husbands and not give anywhere near enough thought to 'the here and now' - i can see now that the booze, instead of deadening pain, just made me retain it for far too long - i do know that the given thinking is that a broken marriage takes 2 years of 'mourning' before you can truely move on!, maybe now this is YOUR time!, YOUR moment to grab life by the balls again and start enjoying being alive!

hope my ponderings dont piss you off, they arnt meant too!

Your ponderings don't piss me off at all. I have been stuck - for lots of reasons. Today was particualrly difficult ( as have all the other times that this woman is back on the scene) as he was having online sex with her and had arranged to meet up with her just before I ended things. I tend to focus all my anger and hurt on her. Being stuck in this place doesn't hurt anyone but me though, and drinking has probably helped me just stay in what has become a comfortably familiar place.

hippy, they deserve each other! - how about this week being the beginning of a new you!?, enough of your life has been wasted on these people!, time for some positive thinking on your part, time to inject a bit of omph back into yourself!, it may sound daunting and i suppose in many ways it is, the alternative of course just dosnet bear thinking about (you are a bloody long time dead!), you have a whole new life just streaching out in front of you waiting for you to pick it up!, kick the booze out, be a bit kind to yourself and give it a go!

Hi all can I get on the bus? I have drank since I was 15, it didn't seem unusual at the time as everyone was doing it. It intensified when my Dad died and again probably when my Mum died (when I was 26).

I drink most days now and I hate it, I have lost myself truly, I'm just a fat bloated mess of a person.

I have dp(who never mentions the drinking) and 3 kids who I do my best for, but my best isn't good enough.

I hate myself truly I do, I have no idea what to do. I feel isolated really, the idea of AA terrifies me, I don't really do new people or sharing.

My sisters live 200 miles away and I have nobody else.

Knowing me (I won't come back to this, my Mother was so concerned what people think, I think this has passed on to me despite my wishes.)

Blue, hello.

Find a seat.

All you have to do is post when you feel like it. No pressure, no judging.

You are in control of your journey on this bus.

You can get off whenever you want, you can take a detour or cling on for dear life.

You can give as much as you want, emotionally, on here.

No one will mind if you just read for a while and get to know everyone. Get an idea of what you want to say or how you want to say it.

Take your time.

Thankyou Mouse thats really kind.

hello blue!! , nice to meet you! - dont worry, AA is not obligatory!, and as to what 'people' think, dont worry about that either, we have no idea who you are and anyway, nothing shocks us! , blimey, we havent even confessed half of what we used to get up to!

you do sound pretty low and lonely though, stick around and we will see what we can do! , there are loads of differant 'types' here!, you will be amazed at the lovley babes you meet on this bus!

evening mouse!! you're up late!

Does anyone have an opinion on living with an enabler? I'm pretty sure that my dp is an enabler, he lets me sleep in late, he never challenges me on my drinking etc.

What do I do? He isn't hot on actually talking about stuff, tries to avoid it at all costs. Do I try to stop (join AA etc) despite him (he wouldn't want to be talking about that stuff while I'm sober).

Or what? we don't really communicate at all unless I get a bit pissed and then bring things up, so I suppose I don't realy talk about stuff either unless I have had a drink.

I'm not brave enough to do it while sober, I feel in a bind, what do I do?

JWN

I know. Nemo is due another feed at 11 so I thought I'd stick around for a while.

I'm glad that I did.

Thanks Jesus, knowing me I will just blank this out tomorrow, I tend to run away from things , if I'm feeling brave I will lurk lol.

God thats shit isn't it, I can't even build relationships online,