The Brave Babes Carry On The Charabanc Trip - Leaving The Booze Behind!

[Mouseface]

Hello and welcome!

This is thread number eight!

The Brave Babes are all at different stages of quitting the booze. Some have stopped, some are thinking about it and some are just cutting down.

They are full of support and wisdom for those of you wishing to climb aboard the Bus or Charabanc!!

The Babes aren't an exclusive club, they never judge and they don't charge for advice either!

So, come meet them. I'm Mouse, by the way, and I've been sober since August 2nd 2010, something I would never have even considered without the support of these threads.

Here are the first seven threads, if you want a bit of history.

JWN's original thread

Thread two

Thread three

Thread four

Thread five

Thread six

Thread seven

Good morning all. Well today is officially 10 weeks off the grog for me. Spent a while yesterday wondering about having some Champagne tonight to celebrate my anniversary. I wrestled with it for a bit, then suddenly felt tired and bored, and stuck in a circular argument with myself! This is how I was feeling 9 weeks ago.
Conclusion I am basically lazy, which is why I think I often opted for the fastest, easiest way to change my mood. That lazy part of me now simply can not be bothered with the effort involved in controlled drinking. I can't be arsed with the mental debate and the bargaining and justifying and eventual fuck up. So today Miss P will not be drinking and tbh it feels like relief.
This post is all about me, me, me, those babes who are able to dabble successfully have my greatest admiration, whatever your choices today I wish you well and thanks for being here

Morning Babes and M - do like the sound of that!

Mouse - pleeeease tell me you got some sleep last night???? And yes it is totally your choice as to what you drink and when - you are doing so well so i'm really pleased you enjoyed your spritzer.

Well I've got 4 hormonal ten year olds here for a sleepover at 2.00pm so I'd better go and mentally prepare myself........................

AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGG

That's better x

Hello to all. mouse SAF Getting what you are doing sounds great for you. I have to say totally honstly, that I love to hear that you can do it (for now) and I really hope you still post on this thread long long into the future and that you're still making those same decisions for yourselves if that is what you want. It really cheers me to hear that some people posting on here are not problem-drinkers (as a pemrmanent condition) but are people who have used alcohol in a way that has become wrong, and who are gently but firmly trying to change their habits.

I am not suggesting that that is any easier for you than for an 'alcoholic. They say it takes 3 weeks to get through the inital stages of changing a habit and nearly 9 months before the new pattern has become a dominant habit (if you're looking for an example then try brushing your teeth holding the toothbrugh in your other hand - it is really difficult and frustrating for the first 3 weeks, but you have to do it continually with the other hand for about 9 months before you get to the stage where when someone hands you a toothbrush, you unconsciously always put it in your other hand).

For me, at the moment, it is easier not to have anything at all than to try controlled drinking - I am enjoying the freedom my brain gets from not having to obsess about what I will have or have had.

Have a good weekend all.

MissP your post summed up how I feel about the effort it takes for me to control my drinking.

Silver I feel for you - I am so glad that sleep overs no longer involve a house full of excited girls (one who always had an asthma attack, and another who had a nut allergy). Changed days though when requests for sleepovers involve a 19 yearold french lad. (I am a tough cow and I always say no).

Luci I hope your evening goes well. I can remember advice from MIFLAW (or M) early on in these threads when JWN was going to a potentialy boozy event. He said something like - as soon as you arrive grab a glass of something non-alcoholic (a coke, a tonic, an orange juice, whatever is your favourite) and hold on to it as though your life depended on it (and it may do). By doing that right at the beginning you are setting off on the right track and you are less likely to accept a glass of something else when it is offered. Also go armed with the reasons you are not drinking (and practice them) - I am driving, I have a bit of a headache, I am on antibiotics for an ear infection.... anything. And although you might imagine that by saying no to a drink for the toast, everyone else will notice and will be talking for weeks about what a mean killjoy you were... you know that that is only an excuse and not a single other person will be bothered by you not drinking.

As the evening wears on notice how silly other people look when they are drunk, and how boring they become, and be glad that tomorrow morning you WILL NOT wake up feeling like they do. Also discuss with your dh the options for leaving early if it does become too much. MIFLAW talks about playing the film through to the end, and you have your own private hell in that context. Imagine if you did have a drink what it would lead to, you KNOW for certain that you do not want the other guests at the wedding to see you as you were in that video.

So gather up all your resolve from this week Luci and grab onto a non-alcoholic drink. get out there and show yourself that you CAN do it.

Thank you for the wise words venus
I am nervous about tonight. DP's cousin works for Sony records and has lot's of sem- celeb friends who will be at the reception.
We are very much the poor relatives. I have a rather sad Next top to wear from last year and am generally looking blobby and crap right now.
Booze would normally be my ticket to not caring/being so self-concious and shy.
It's going to be tough.
Today I will not be drinking.

Morning, everyone. Mouse, I hope you got some sleep .

getting and SAF - can I just chuck my view on controlled drinking in here? I've been reading the last few posts with interest, and have to say that my position is the same as Venus's - for me, it's all or nothing. And I say that having spent years trying to control my drinking.

If you genuinely feel that you can stick to 'normal' levels, or only drink at weekends, then great. I have my doubts, because I suspect you wouldn't be on this thread if that wasn't a problem.

For me, it's the same as smoking - and I have lapsed on the fags more times than I can count . Each time I thought it would be different - I'll just have one, and be a social smoker. Every time I did this it started well, but pretty soon I was back on 20 a day.

I really think that, if you find your reduced/controlled drinking starts to lapse into more regular, uncontrolled drinking, you need to decide whether you're kidding yourself or not.

Like Venus, I find that life is much, much easier, cleaner and infinitely happier - yes, really - when I don't torture myself with thinking about limits, control, counting units and, secretly, waiting for it all to go tits up. It's playing 'booze roulette', and I'm so glad I don't have to play it any more.

MORNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is the wide awake Mouse after a bloody brilliant night's sleep!!

It would appear that my idea of feeding Nemo an extra feed is working. He's never been 'hungry' as his feeds have always been via the pump and controlled by me.

However, it would make sense that it was/is hunger as his feed is only liquid. Therefore goes through his system faster than if he's had a full roast dinner!!!

Anyway. I think that I was (and still have the potential to be) a problem drinking and was using alcohol to self medicate and get me through the day. Oh of course, it never got me through the day though, did it.

My ADs are going to replace the booze. And they have. I need to give them a chance to work and out of the two, I'd rather use these to help combat my mental health issues, than vodka or buckets of wine. I have had the odd glass of white or spritzer but that's it.

I actually don't want to get pissed. Which baffles me. I have always been a drinker, liked a drink, been a drinking buddy but now, I don't want to be that person.

I want to be in control. I want to remember my nights out (not that I have any) or the special ocassions for the right reasons, because they were fun. Not a pissed up haze of embarrassing events.

venus - I will still be a Brave Babe and I will post on here for many many threads to come! You can't get rid of me that easily! Well, unless you get Rentokil in!

Everyone is doing so well. It's like we have all just clicked and realised what excessive drinking does to us, how it ruins our lives.

There have been some real lightbulb above the head moments on here of late. It wonderful to see.

M - I'm not offended. I just wanted to make the point that for the first time in well, a bloody long time, I feel in control of what I drink.

SAF - I couldn't drink when pg with DD or Nemo. I went off the booze. I started drinking again after he was born with his SN. Another excuse.

Off to save the world now - aka get the builders in order, put the washing in, welcome our house guest and brush my teeth!!

Have a fab day all!!!

morning all!!!!

lovely to see you! - to those of you who have found they can have one and leave it at that - i wish i could, but i cant!, im an all or nothing gal!, so now, its nothing!

i hope that the 'moderates' will still keep coming back!, i have got to feel that you are true friends! and i would miss you sooo much!

luci!!, special thoughts with you today! - im willing to bet you look lovley in your 'sad next top'! - just try and think of this - we have all seen the pictures of celebs arriving at events looking like a million dollars - we have all seen the ones of them leaving too!, drunk, bleary eyed, tits out, dress not covering the knickers, being poured into a taxi by a bouncer! i think i'll stick with the 'sad next top'! its only an evening!, tomorrow your dcs will be up and at 'em, and so will you!, all bright eyed and ready for the day! take care, be strong and just for today

WE WILL NOT BE DRINKING!

L XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

ps, mouse, you sound nice and squeaky today!!

JWN - thanks. amazing what some sleep can do for you!!

CJ - I am going to prove you wrong.

Luci - if it helps, imagine that we are there with you tonight, all on soft drinks and stood behind you, backing you up!!

You will be fine and you will look fab!

Silver - hope you are ok.

MissP - nice to see you posting. Sorry that you are a bit up and down. Or round and round. Happy anniversary xx

Mouse ! A good night's sleep. We will have to rename you dormouse.

Luci I hope you read JWN's post about the pissed up celebs - nothing to aspire to there at all. And I bet some of them struggle to get out of the house without a drink. And so competative. Must be a horrible life style. Yours is much nicer, despite all your current pproblems. You have a dh who loves you and supports you. You have dcs who adore you, and you have a whole bunch of computer fairies on here who genuinely care about you and want the best for you. We are not a set of false, artificial companions who will drop you if you are wearing last years colour, or if another, more exciting 'friend' comes along.

And as mouse said, think of us being around you like an invisible shield, blocking your way to an alcoholic drink, swooping in like angels and putting a lovely refreshing lime and tonic in your hand, keeping you sober, making sure your mascara isn't smeared down your face, and chattering in your ears to drown out your inner devil who might be encouraging you.

Go on luci, you might just surprise youself by finding how easy it is to not drink. Do some semi-celeb watching and then come on here tomorrow and tell us all the gossip

Thank you Babes. I feel massive lump in my throat now.
Am going to imagine you all with me tonight keeping me strong and whispering encouraging words.
Tonight I won't be drinking. DP is going to support me too and has said we can leave early if it's all too much.
Thank you again.

well done Luci - we will all be floating there above you in spirit!!

Mouse - I am so happy for you - sleep finally

65 minutes to blast off................

xxxx

Silver - how many are coming again? And how old?

spirit - unfortunate choice of word - sorry!!!

Mouse - just 3 plus dd so not too bad - blockbusters to rent dvd, pizza express booked for tea - home and i baricade myself in my bedroom - dp done one - couldn't see him for dust..................

Popcorn machine working, coke in the fridge - what else can they need!!

It's just that thing of being responsible for somenone elses children and I don't know the parents that well as only moved here a year ago............

sure it will be fine - pray for no ashma or nut allergies.............or starting of periods for that matter - OMG - IT COULD HAPPEN

but - I started mine at a sleepover - fuck - granted I was 14...........

ps they are all 10

Just make sure that you have contact numbers for all parents and ask if they are allergic to anything.

Feed them, water them and let them get on with it!!!!

I'm around if you need a ear top bend!!

Ooooops - t minus 6 minutes!!

Oh beleieve me you will be getting progress updates from my bunker!!!!

first one arrived.....

Right - sorry if this boring you all to death- all 4 here - now I have to be in charge of them in public

update on our return - hopefully with the same number of girls I left with...

hope everyone is having a great and sober day xxxxx

Mouse - Thank you and hi! I am really pleased you have finally had some sleep, I malfunction completely if I don't get enough...sleep that is Our anniversary was yesterday but we are celebrating today as DH was away. 22 years! We will be cooking up a storm in the kitchen and swigging bubbly water from Champagne flutes.

Ah. Have a wonderful evening!! 22 years? You don't get that for murder these days!!

Stick with it. You are doing great. One thing I found which I said yesterday was that the initial high of being booze free wears off and then the roller coaster starts.

Good days and bad. Just take your time. And don't let the booze sneak up on you either!!

Enjoy your lovely dinner!

many congrats missp!, have a lovley evening! !

oh silver, i feel for you, i really do! at what time do you think you may storm in to them and demand silence and sleep! , dh once lost all sense of reason and burst in on 6 11 year olds, in his pants, (he was, not they where!) at about 5 in teh morning and told them all he would he would send them home if they didnt shut up! , i did point out that as a threat it was a bit late! nitwit!

Hello babes, good to see most of you are in a good place.

I reached 47 days yesterday and then fell right off the wagon.

It wasn't totally out of the blue, I think I kind of decided earlier in the week that I would have a drink with dh at home on Friday. He has also been not drinking lately. So we opened a bottle of Wolfblass, a true favourite. Honestly? the first few mouthfuls were not nice but I knew that would subside. We polished off two bottles and quite enjoyed ourselves but it was not fantastic. I woke early with random thoughts, thirst and a runny nose. I tossed and turned. Did I really used to start the day like this regularly? I have felt crap all day, my eyes hurt, the children are too noisy and everything is a massive effort.

Today I feel that drinking is too much effort. I am just not the 'one glass' kind of person, I really like getting pissed but I see that I can't get away with it and that makes it a lot less attractive. I have never managed to be a part time smoker either. I had to give it up completely.

When I stopped drinking those weeks back it was directly related to wanting to have a clear head for my little one starting school. This thread made me examine my relationship to alcohol much more closely and my initial goal passed as did my birthday. My partner also decided to give up with me. So I guess we researched the theory that we had been 'cured'. Strangely we have not morphed into moderate drinkers. A great surprise for you I am sure!!

So today I am back to day 1 but feeling pretty positive.

DD had a sleep over with 5 of her school friends inc her.

At 2am, I dragged her into bed with me, kicked DH out to the sofa, put one in the dining room and one in the study. The other two were left to sleep in DD's room, one on the floor, one in the bunk bed.

They were vile!!! I have never heard so much bitching, between three of them, in my life!

Nasty little girls.

The next day, the mother of one drama queen came to collect her and said, 'did you have a nice time sweetheart?'

Reply? 'No, everyone was mean to me and they all hate me' whilst forcing the tears out.

Needless to say, we never had a sleep over from that school again!!

Hey Pav - X posted. Sorry. Nice to see you.

The thing is, if you used to have a drink every night, then you wouldn't have felt like you did this morning because you were used to it.

This morning was your idea of hell I should imagine!!

The old 'I'm cured' theory eh?! Never fails to trip folk up. I'm sorry that you are feeling so shite but do you think that this is lesson learnt or not?

It's like labour. You know that it is the most horrific pain in the world (no time for drugs with both of mine) and yet you do it again!

Take a ticket and find yourself a seat on the bus.