The Brave Babes Carry On The Charabanc Trip - Leaving The Booze Behind!

[Mouseface]

Hello and welcome!

This is thread number eight!

The Brave Babes are all at different stages of quitting the booze. Some have stopped, some are thinking about it and some are just cutting down.

They are full of support and wisdom for those of you wishing to climb aboard the Bus or Charabanc!!

The Babes aren't an exclusive club, they never judge and they don't charge for advice either!

So, come meet them. I'm Mouse, by the way, and I've been sober since August 2nd 2010, something I would never have even considered without the support of these threads.

Here are the first seven threads, if you want a bit of history.

JWN's original thread

Thread two

Thread three

Thread four

Thread five

Thread six

Thread seven

Night babes - Mouse I am mentally willing Nemo to sleep through the night xx

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Well done Silver !
Mouse - hoping your night was less interrupted than usual ...
Luci - keep going ,guess what ? ,things will improve .
Today I'm not drinking .

Well done silver I know that feeling like I said before curses to alcohol being so available until late at night!

I got through last night although felt very sorry for myself.

DD got in with me last night and I thought great disturbed sleep just waht I need then I thought of you Mouse and got a grip !!

Have a good day everyone

Thanks getting - it was just one of those AAAARGH moments when for a split second you realise the shop still open and you could - what stopped me? DP and DD I suppose - not that they knew what I was thinking but I couldn't have lived with that look of 'disappointment' from DP. And you know if I had given in - I don't think for a minute I would have enjoyed it - I would have just necked it down in response to anger. However - if not for this thread I also know I would have bought it.

Anyway - found the end of programme on Iplayer so all was not lost. Been up since 6.30am(I know that's normal for a lot of you!) as DD 10th birthday today.

So sending DP and DD to school on bikes and I'm going to the gym (swimming) to start the day as I mean to go on - knackered!!

Left party shopping till last minute as always - god I hope I can find a decent cake - hey at least I don't have to do stupid pointless party bags full of tat any more................

Life is good

Mouse How was Nemo last night??

Please please let you have got some decent sleep xxxxx

Christi Ding Ding - reminder - call the docs and make an appointment xxxxxxxxx

morning!! well done silver, gahh, i know that feeling only too well!, at the beginning i started using a local halal shop to try and remove temptation, funny thing is, i discovered that the fresh fruit and veg is far better than the other shops, he is a really helpful guy and chats about what to do with the more exotic stuff so i go there now as a matter of course! btw, if tesco/whatever let you down, M&S do good party cakes!

getting, nice to see you!, hope your mood lifts a bit today!

wasindie!!! how are all your lovley girls?, is dp still bf?, she needs a medal if she is!!

LUCI - today could be the start of a new kind of living!, give it a try!! just for today

WE WILL NOT BE DRINKING!

saf - i dont think you need to worry about the beer, the fact that you poured it away shows that you are becoming the boss!!

Thankyou everybody for your support - It really does mean a great deal when we all know how hard it is, but DPs and DHs would look at you as if you'd just come off another planet if you expected praise for staying sober.

Window for the gym missed - the moment passed as ended up sorting dd for school - so shower and shopping then at least I can relax knowing I've got all the stuff for later - and maybe have time for a quick swim before school run later.

And take Bloody Pokeman cards back to Argos - got her the ones she already had - WTF are pokeman cards anyway except the biggest rip-off of all time - ah well at least she's not yet at the stage of make-up, clothes etc etc - I am the most uninterested person inall those things and find shoppping for that stuff HELL - I dread the day. Just want her to stay little and innocent for ever.........

Have a great day everyone and I'll be dipping in and out between making butties and blowing up balloons xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi everyone, big wave and shuffle hug to Wasindie. How are you and DTs? Feeling broody at the moment!

Silver, well done on avoiding tempation, hope DD has a good birthday and you find the cake.

Mouse, hope you slept ok last night. DD slept through for the first time in ages, so am feeling very pleased. Hope Nemo was the same.

I hope everyone has a positive day. We are all at such different stages on this journey and although I am struggling to post at the moment, just reading the threads is a huge source of strength. I am feeling pretty pitiful at the moment, everything feels very stressful and I am constantly anxious. But to be honest, its not making me want to drink - its just making me think a) how on earth would I cope with all this whilst drinking and b) if I just bumbled along in a drunken haze, thats not really coping, thats just avoiding life.

As my lovely dad once told me, "sometimes life is shit. It will get better. Then it will get shit again, that is how life is". We can't control that but we can make the decision not to make it shittier by drinking.

Today, I will not be drinking.

silver got appointment 9.50am on Thursday

Feeling wonderful today. Honestly, wonderful. Slept well. Bounced out of bed. Already made soup for lunch.

looking what you say about your DD noticing your drinking... It may be coincidence but DD was wonderfully good getting ready for school today, all smiles, so was I, and DH was too and DD2 was too. DD1 for the FIRST time, completely unbidden, MADE HER BED...!!!! Folded everything really neatly. So sweet. I love them so much.

I was reading about a drink a day increasing ones risk of breast cancer by 12%. I don't want to think about the damage I have done but hopefully we can reduce it from here on in. My Dad died before I had my girls, I don't want to die before my girls have their children.

Good morning everyone. It's a sunny day here in London and for now I'm revelling in the bliss of not having a hangover.
Meeting my friends later (one is teetotal anyway, I'm driving and the objective is a nice dinner and a chat)and I am looking forward to getting out of this house and away from the family for a few hours.
Hope Nemo slept for you Mouse.

Luci you sound like a different person even in those few lines. I'm holding your hand through this!

Good for you luci. Have a really nice day. Enjoy the break, and enjoy your dinner.

"There is a feeling of relief mixed in with the terror in acknowledging this."

That's so true - brings it all back.

I remember phoning the police after the car crash that initially brought me to AA. What I don't always share, because I'm not sure of the reaction I'll get, is that, not only did I phone them myself, but that someone had offered to help me beat the charge (basically, pick me up, take me home, and give me a shot of whisky before phoning them, so that there would be no way of proving whether I was over the limit because I drank before rather than after, IYSWIM.) Part of me was terrified of the trouble i knew I would get into; and part of me wanted it all to be over and for someone (eg the police) to step in and tell me enough was enough and that the consequences started now.

Can I ask - purely out of interest and with no pressure - why you don't want to go to AA?

Silver

"what stopped me? DP and DD I suppose - not that they knew what I was thinking but I couldn't have lived with that look of 'disappointment' from DP."

i'm now going to piss you off by correcting you about your owen feelings!

If your DP and DD were going to stop you drinking you'd have stopped long ago. Are you honestly saying that you've never let them down in favour of a drink? A friend of mine used to share, "the tears of my children never stopped me drinking." Though childless at the time, I instinctively knew I would be the same if the choice was drink or family.

You didn't drink last night because, as you say, you "couldn't have lived with that look of 'disappointment' from DP." It's about YOUR feelings and YOUR self-worth.

This might sound like I am splitting hairs but in fact it is a vital distinction. One of these days, believe it or not, your child and your husband will almost have forgotten what you are like when you drink. They may even believe (wrongly) that you are "cured" and actually OFFER you a drink for doing so well, or because it's a special occasion (weddings and funerals are big faves here.) Who is going to keep you dry then?

Answer - YOU are. With YOUR memories of YOUR feelings last night and YOUR desire to be a better mum and wife.

One day everyone else is going to let you off the hook. NEVER let yourself off it, because you know what they don't.

christi!, what a lovley post!! , you sound so positive - a total change from teh woman who first posted on here!

luci - i am rooting for you here!, i have had loads of nice evenings now since giving up, i can remember them all clearly, i wake up and enjoy the memory instead of wondering how i have embarresed myself and my dh this time!, i dont wake up feeling guilty, shitty, stinky and generally depressed - when my old bones dont ache too much from dancing i sometimes even bounce out of bed! - tonight dh and i are going to the threatre, i am looking forward to it, so is dh, he knows i wont get pissed, talk loudly, get aggressive or daft and will remember what performance i saw in the morning!

miflaw - i got that feeling the day dh said 'quit or i leave', it was almost as if he had taken charge of the problem, a relif in a strange kind of way! - i am strolling to aa at lunchtime, its lovley and sunny here and i feel full of the joys!

MILFLAW

Not pissed off at all - I take on board what you are saying and I know deep down it has to come from within myself. And I do think to an extent it is - next time I'll think a little more carefully before I post about how I feel and try to look deeper than the obvious. Thankyou for your insight.

CHRISTI - you go girl - well done - you have made me feel as though I have helped someone on this thread in a small way - and you know what - THAT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD TOO!!

xxx

Luci, I think you are confusing two issues. One, when you are stressed, whatever, you have discovered, through your own research that alcohol does help (and it does help, in the sense of solving one's own consciousness of a problem, by discarding pesky consciousness) in the short term.
Two. You are in a stressful environment and you are going to have to live in the same stressful environment until November.

Could you compartmentalise the two, because I don't see that they are related.

I fear Luci, that your dp/dh may feel that he needs some support. Imagine he was posting here? Perhaps some well meaning person advised that he film you? How horrible for you. But he wouldn't have bothered if he didn't love you, would he?

(is gingerwig the same as gingerroots?, btw)

Yes whoever posted msgee I think that you wonder how you coped with all the anxiety and stuff going on when drinking.

Sorry I will get to grips with names ..

SAF I am trying not to count days now and mindul of the fact you tipped the beer away in my book that almost gives you an extra day !

Silver MIFLAW is right and thats brilliant isnt it because it means the desire to stop is coming from inside you

Christi well done !

Just to reiterate I will not be drinking today and good luck everyone else in your various no drinking plans

hi, im hoping you guys can offer me some advice/support. I have been drinking fairly heavily on and off for about 10 years. Whenever i would drink too much i would cut way back and throw myself into a healthier lifestyle with the gym and eating and it would be fine for a yer or two then i would start again and the cycle would continue. Ive been drinking heavily for about a year and a half, at least a bottle of wine a night and ive been trying to cut back or stop for about the same time.I cant go to the gym anymore because of having a little one. Id love to just be able to have a glass with dinner
but i dont think i can, the problem is i have spoken to my husband about wanting to stop and seeking help , he thinks i could have a problem but dont have one now. a lot of our time is spent in the pub. Im starting to really loathe myself and just want to have a normal family like where we go out for walks at the weekend or go out for the day dont just sit in the pub. I said to my dh a few days ago, what has to happen for us to change what we are doing, we already spend lots of money on drink and havent paid our bills, we drive with our dd in the car after 2 or 3......i dont know what to do, i dont think he wants to stop or will be particularly supportive if i suggest going to the pub or popping out for a bottle of wine.....but i feel like my dd deserves better than having a mum with a short temper and no money to spend on her or one that puts her own selfish wants before her safety.......or am i thinking too deeply about this?