The Brave Babes Carry On The Charabanc Trip - Leaving The Booze Behind!

[Mouseface]

Hello and welcome!

This is thread number eight!

The Brave Babes are all at different stages of quitting the booze. Some have stopped, some are thinking about it and some are just cutting down.

They are full of support and wisdom for those of you wishing to climb aboard the Bus or Charabanc!!

The Babes aren't an exclusive club, they never judge and they don't charge for advice either!

So, come meet them. I'm Mouse, by the way, and I've been sober since August 2nd 2010, something I would never have even considered without the support of these threads.

Here are the first seven threads, if you want a bit of history.

JWN's original thread

Thread two

Thread three

Thread four

Thread five

Thread six

Thread seven

Ginger, you stopped for 4/5 days. You can repeat that when you want to. Without NHS Direct . I am up for a bit if you want to chat.

Night, GW.

morning everyone!!, here we are at the start of a bright new shiny week!

today i am pottering about at home, quite nice to have the place to myself for a while! anyway, just a quick reminder -

TODAY WE WILL NOT BE DRINKING!

see you all later!

Ginger, only one bottle? I got off my face yesterday. DP bought a box of wine. It was opened with Sunday dinner and I got absolutely pissed.
Passed out before the X Factor, work up in the early hours in my bra and knickers, make-up on, can't remember anything from about 5pm yesterday.
DP wants to "talk to me about it" later. I have a hideous headache and have been sick twice this morning.
I hate myself. [self loathing smiley]

When I can stop being sick I'm going to try and pull myself together, get the kids their lunch, take my DC to preschool and hopefully have a little nap with the 2 yr old.
I have a night out arranged with friends tomorrow night. Have cancelled twice already so really have to go this time but am going to try and not drink.

That seems like a very easy option right now, given how bloody awful I feel but tomorrow..?

I don't understand why I do this. My eldest DC thought Mummy was having a little rest yesterday. She had to tell me which bedroom I was in. I don't have a clue.

I am so embarrased and ashamed.
How long before they notice Mummy is a pathetic drunk?

Morning all.

Luci - I think that you need some RL help if I'm honest. You need to go and see your GP.

You need to be completely honest about how much and how often you are drinking.

I'm sorry to sound so harsh but if this carries on, you could lose your DP. Watching someone get wasted is not a nice thing to see.

I'm sure he is embarrassed too, given that you are living with his parents.

Please take action. You need real help. You need real life support. Now. You can't do this on your own anymore.

You have to save what's left of youself and your relationships, both with your DP and your DD.

I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time but getting shit faced is only going to make your life so much worse.

It's time to STOP!

Ah, I see you have DCs. Sorry.

Morning JWN, SAF, luci and mouse (and hello to the middle of night posters too).

Luci, when you go out with your friends tomorrow, there is not point in 'trying' not to drink. We all know how bloody hard that is, and we also know how likely we are to fail. This is not about will-power. Tomorrow, you are either going to drink, or you're not. 'Trying' not to is either likely to make you miserable during the evening as you deny yourself what you want, or miserable afterwards if you give in and 'fail' or most likely a bit of both.

So, why not DECIDE that you WILL NOT drink tomorrow. Contact your friends today (while you still feel crap and it feel like an easy decision), tell them now that you are not drinking tomorrow. Then if you do go out, do all the things that MIFLAW suggests in previous posts - know where a local AA meeting is so that if you feel the urge for a drink taking over you can get there. Take the AA pphone number with you so you can call someone. Write out how crap you feel today (physically and emotionally), write out all the things you will gain if you can get this sorted out, and take the papers with you in your bag so you can remind yourself why you want to do this.

You poor love. You are in a very stressful situation, please take notice of what you mind and body are telling you, and see about getting some help. You said before that you were a nursing sister. You have be the strong professional helping other people. Now it is your turn to accept support and help from others, there is no shame in it. But there could well be shame in carrying on as you are. Take care sweetheart, take care.

I haven't actually passed out like that since January.
Most weekends I just drink too much.
The IL's didn't see me drunk. I went upstairs and stayed up there long before I went too far.
I can usually go Mon-Thurs without a drink. It isn't a problem to me and I feel physically fine.
I just need to stop the weekend binges.
Yesterday as a terrible lapse but I am facing the truth now. I have been in denial for too long.

Luci

"I have a shared ownership flat in East London I bought a pathetic 35% share of when I was a nurse.
I bought it in 2004 and it was valued at £150,000. Now it is worth £130,000. Have been renting it out (to a couple who agreed to a rent increase in order to stay till August) but since they've moved on I can't rent it out for the amount I need to cover the mortgage.
I have no job (and me and DP have no money, we are living with family with our kids) and am facing repossession.
We've been to the CAB. There is no way out of this unless I "leave" DP, move back into the flat with the girls and claim housing benefit."

sorry, I am busy catching up after a long weekend away - can you point me towards the post where you explain how a drink changed any of these circumstances for the better?

One glass of wine used to make me feel more relaxed. It didn't take make anything better but it took ther blunt edges off my life.

Morning all - just been to GP and feeling very positive - was honest and am reducing librium dose - it was ridiculous panicking so much when I lost them and I just want to be rid of them now (but I have to do it gradually

Mouse did my hypnosis work on little Nemo!!

Luci Stern words here - never underestimate how much children are aware of, however young. If you carry on this way, you will probably lose them anyway, and DP. I know that things are a nightmare for you at the moment but YOU HAVE TO TAKE CONTROL. Make an appointmant NOW to see your GP. Be honest - they have heard it all before - you have to put something in place to aim towards. They can HELP you. We can do all the posting in the world but YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE FIRST STEP. Luci you are WORTH IT. Don't even think about what you are going to say to GP - just go and it will come out.

I shudder in horror when I look back at the state I used to get in when DD was little - what if she'd needed to go to hospital - OK I could have called an ambulance but they would have know I'd been drinking and the Social Services wiould become involved. I was just VERY VERY LUCKY that nothing like that happened.

One simple step - pick up the phone and make an appointment - can you get in today to see GP.

We are all here for you - we have all been in the place you are now - no-one is judging you, we just want to help. PLEASE MAKE THAT APPOINTMENT.

Loads of Love and you are in my thoughts.

Silver xxxxx

Rude?

Insensitive?

Me/

I am hurt.

luckily, none of you met me when I was drinking, or I would have redefined those words for you ...

"This staying sober lark is so hard for anyone who doesn't have a problem with drink, to understand."

So true. I know my partner (who has never seen me drunk because she has never seen me drink) doesn't really get it at all, even though it is clear that several of her mates belong in what she calls my "after-school club."

The good news is, if I don't drink, she has absolutely no need to understand it.

HEllo mouse and MIFLAW and venus and lucil and everyone else.

Well, it was my birthday on 10th and I haven't been here since then. My friends sent me a fucking case of wine for my birthday, and my DM was here for the day driving me mad, and I couldn't help myself from opening it and anyway, that was ten days ago and now the case is finished and I feel like shit. Of course I could ahve stopped at one bottle but as we know of course I couldn't.

So I'm back AGAIN with tail between my legs, determined to start over. I am making it SO hard for myself.

Please can I have my old seat back on the charabanc?

I have been doing ten days continuous childcare too and not even been able to sit at computer. Am shattered.

I've missed ten days of posts. Will try to catch up.

venus i've finally been asked back for a fourth interview... It's on Wednesday. Will try to use your words of wisdom and hopefully nail the job. It's really hard having not seen them for seven weeks now to get back into that 'place' where I can talk confidently again about the job. I started despisng them because I hadn't heard anything and that's not good! I'll have to get my positivity back.

luci please forgive me but would repossession really be that bad? You aren't living there anyway? Forgive me if this is a dufus question
Anyway, beautiful day here.

Luci

I see.

Have they stayed off?

"I haven't actually passed out like that since January.
Most weekends I just drink too much.
The IL's didn't see me drunk. I went upstairs and stayed up there long before I went too far."

listen to yourself for just a minute. You "just" drink too much. If it's too much, it's too much - where's the "just"? What do you think too much means in this context? It means that there is a three-way race on between your mental, physical and emotional health to see which will get irreperably fucked up first.

But it's okay because, before anyone sees you, you go upstairs and hide in your own home and continue drinking in secret!

If this was anyone other than you, would you be thinking, "that sounds perfectly reasonable," or would you be thinking, "that's fucking MAD"?

Silver - no, sorry. I've had another lonely night of no sleep and a wide awake Nemo.

I feel hungover due to the three nights of no sleep. Yuk!! Thank GOD I don't get pissed anymore. Can you imagine the state I'd be in.

Christi - get on the bus and bloody well stay there. No excuses, no moaning, no whinging. Pack it in!!! Day 1.

Luci - YOU MUST GET HELP. This is a downward spiral and you are falling fast. We can see it, we can all see it. You can't and you won't see the real damage until you STOP* drinking.

You are in very real danger of losing more than your home. Please, for yourself most of all but for the people who love you and care about you, please get help.

Please.

PS Luci

Just cancel tonight - you don't need that pressure on top of eveyrhing else - tell them you are ill - anything - just cancel. Be selfish - you have to - if they are true friends, in the long term they will understand. Even going and not drinking will just be hell xxxxx

Aw Mouse - so sorry.

Right I've got 9 lovely hormonal ten year olds coming for DD Birthday tea tomorrow so have to drag myself to supermarket and get supplies - for once I was organised though, and got her present last week - Yey.

Laters Peeps.

Luci - pick up the phone - don't think about it JUST DO IT xxxx

The night out isn't till tmorrow night. There is no way I feel well enough to go anywhere tonight.
Yesterday I was in the second bedroom. DP and DC's were in our bedroom watching TV.
DC told me her and daddy watched the X Factor whilst "you were resting in the little bedroom Mummy".
Their ages are 3.5 and 2.
I realise I have to stop drinking altogether.
I think I can do it on my own.

Luci - with all due repect, you have tried to stop all together before haven't you?

I really think that you need more support than just 'promising' yourself that are/will/can stop all together.

'respect' - lack of sleep.