Sorry, I am repeating the below with paragraphs, it was impossible to read.
Nobody has said that one should have children to use as slave labour, or as unpaid carers in the future. But some posters have rather bizarrely twisted it in this way.
I suspect that those of you who don?t get it, or take offense, you are looking at it from the wrong angle, from the parent view point, not the son/daughter viewpoint. The grown up responsibly daughter/son in you will WANT to do the best for your parents in old age. The mother/father in you will not want for your children to care for you.
I did suggest that when the inevitable happens, it is good to share the responsibility for elderly and frail parents with a sibling. This from MY perspective as a daughter, not from my perspective on my own children, as a parent.
It is a natural progression of life, you grow old, you might need care, you die. You will most likely become a worry for your children whether you want to or not, because they have been well raised, and they care about you. Granted that many people dont give a flying fuck about their elderly parents, which I find rather sad, but there you go.
At that point in life, in my opinion it is nice to have a sibling to share the worry and the burden with. It is neither required, nor expected that that we care for our parents, yet we want to. I am possibly generalizing, but because I care for my parents, their wellbeing and their happyness, yet in the cold light of day, honest to God, where we are now, much as I love them they are a burden. Therefore, I assume my own children will care about me, but I will be a burden. It does not bear thinking about, but there it is.
When my grandmother developed Alzheimers, my mum had six siblings, they all pulled together and helped get grandma into a nursing home, get care for grandpa, sell the house and do all the formalities.
When my cousin?s dad developed Alzheimers, he as a lonely child lived through a nightmare lasting him 5 years before he managed to get proper care for his parents. In this time he became the father of two children, one of whom had a heart problem. Did his parents want this for him? Not at all, not if you had asked his parents prior to old age and illness set in. He would speak to me on the phone saying ?I have the worst of both worlds, sick and elderly parents, and young children. It is impossible to combine the two, and yet here I am all on my own.? I did not quite get it then. I get it now, when I am in a very similar position as him.
It is not about raising children to become our carers, but realizing that our children may end up that way, despite us not wanting that for them at all.
This debate has possibly not had a place on this thread, but discussions sometimes move in different directions as topics come up, and other issues are raised. This was quite possibly a topic which had best been left on the side, as it has not been useful to the op. It does not mean it couldn?t be said, though.