ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched No.7

[startingovernow]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether you are a new dumpling or a vet, feel free to join us in our quest for serenity. ...........

Hope ur all feeling better soon my little lemsip chums !
Today i organised insurance ,premises,business meeting for thurs and looking at pricing /choosing supplies 2nite.Also just missed a call from letting agent that was a bit of a pain but will phone first thing.Also bought myself some watercolours to do some artwork i need,will be for fun as someone has already volunteered to do it for me ,but she said if i scanned it and scaled it down small it will look good ,so i am inspired and will have a crack 2morrow Its all happening , hopefully start up re business will be next week or the following,also on schedule 2nite for a regular bedtime,tea is done and bath is imminent ,just not like me at all LOL!!!!

crikey what is up with my typing??

Getting - xmas meet up HERE

Hope everyones feeling better soon, nothing worse that a cold

Landlord came today and everythings ok just worried about paying rent (phew)
House is spotless and i havent stopped in days, so feet up and tv tonight i think :)

Well done Sov now you have a nice clean slate and can relax a bit

Its all go Patience sounds more exciting than a school receptionist job !!

just had dumpling cousin on the phone shes about to email her exh (first time in months)when she sees all these photos on FB of him entwined with the girl who was last straw back in Janauary so she knows now all her suspicions were founded. Men.

Patience - wow, you're the bees knees. I'm afraid I am essentially of the lazy disposition so you have my greatest admiration and respect.

So sorry that so many dumplings are going down with dumpling fever.It sounds grim. Double grim when you have dc's to cope with too.

Well, xp came back at about 7pm in a foul mood. Fortunately, he's not a shouter, he just sulks but the tension was palpable. Eventually, I managed to break the ice by offering him a glass of vino and we have managed to be civil to each other and chatted about his weekend. Phew!

Flat hunting is not that straight forward it would seem even though we live in UK's 2nd largest city . Oh well, I mustn't lose the plot now. Keep me strong fellow dumplings for I might be a hard-faced looking dumpling but I have a soggy middle and I'm trying not to let xp see that the hard bits could easily crumble.

Getting, sorry about your cousin. The men we know are crap but there must be a few decent ones out there? I hope so.

Every time I hear about another betrayal I think, I know that feeling but you really don't understand until you've been through it, do you?

Currently unable to move from sofa as I have a poorly ds snoring on my lap and I aren't move him as he has only just settled..... but I want to go to bed

Glass of wine together lc ? Don't let him get too cosy:)

Sounds like things are moving in the right direction for you patience.... hope the agents call tomorrow is good news

Happy ..... I did all this post from my phone ;)

Glad it went well Sov... hope you ate nicely chilled x

Lol just saw my typos

Sov. Meant to read are nicely chilled

And that I daren't move

Evening all - having an evening in with music and bono and the dreaded divorce forms (urggh)

AB, well done for posting by phone - beware predictive text, it leads to some interesting typist. (typos).

Patience, good to see your business is moving along nicely. Is there no end to your talents?

Actually, I am proud to say that despite being unwell I really rocked in a work meeting today with boss man from the US.... True Dumpling power.

Getting, give US the recipe then.

Starting hoping you are out with Norm and having fun.

Sov, hope you will make Xmas meet up

LC, I too was civil to XH this eve.

Waves to all - off to check the Xmas meet up thread x

Armbow, xp had his glass of wine in the cold, damp conservatory whilst watching the footy and surfing rightmove. I'm having mine in the kitchen whilst I roast some veg to go with my m & s coronation chicken. Where would you rather be? Sorry, just realised you are stuck on the sofa.

Well done Happy re US bossman,its great to shine !!!
LOL at rightmove lc one of my regular haunts too x

Ah, just watched Inbetweeners on catch up. Laughed a lot

A little off the wall maybe but made decision yesterday that I am going to forgive, or at least move towards forgiving BE for the impact that I believe his behaviour had on DS. Not quite totally there but huge step forward. Looked up some quotes on forgiveness and this is the one that took me there.

?When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.?

If I can do that I think it will be a big step forward. Don't hold any resentment towards him re: Bumpkin. TBH, she looks a right trollop so not really bothered and he looked like a rough old man tonight also (crosses fingers and hopes that a younger guy emerges for me)

Happy, forgiveness does indeed set you free . Love the quote. I posted this quote a long time back & I read it again last night on Patience's link, I think it's v appropriate "resentment is like drinking poison & expecting the other person to die". I think you'll have no prob attracting a younger man

Patience, I too will keep fingers x'd that it's good news from estate agent tomorrow. Well done & best of luck for your new adventure .

LC, hope xp finds something on rightmove asap & that you'll also have the conservatory to lounge in

Armbow, hope your ds feels better tomorrow & that you do aswell. I've dosed myself with uniflu & it seems to be hitting the mark .

Getting, sorry to hear about your cousin . It is so sad that so many men take that route, I will never understand it tbh. That the would chose the life of single men or messing around with other women as apposed to living a life in a family unit with their dc's.

Sov, delighted to hear that you've finally finished the big clear up, bet you feel great now . For me, doing that after xh had left changed the energy of the house which was a double bonus . It's lovely to put your feet up & relax when the house is gleaming. Mind you if your dc's are anything like mine it will be a battle to maintain it

Starting, I saw that quote too and liked it.

Happy, I read somewhere that forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself (not the person who you are forgiving). I really didn't get that until now when I am in the position of forgiving xp. It doesn't happen overnight but it feels like such a release when you start to let those horrible feelings go. It's so exhausting being angry all the time. It drains you. I don't want to waste any more time thinking about the bad stuff. I have started to forgive xp and it has helped me so much. In fact, I think he is much more angry with himself than I am.

LC, sounds good.

Am officially sick now (with thing that I prob mentioned at meet up) so will be wallowing for most of rest of week and only doing a bit of work (yippee)

Off for a snooze to some nice music.

I think Ghandi said something like,The power to forgive is a strength rather than a weakness

Happy, congrads on being officially sick . Put your feet up, relax, smell the roses .

LC, I agree holding onto stuff just drains you emotionally & physically. I didn't really have the anger as such, just incredible sadness that took a long time to heal from.

Well have been pondering whole Norm business. He's good company, good at everything else but I found myself looking at him last night & sadly thinking to myself "your days are numbered"! I can't give any real reason for this other then I think I'm tiring of it already! Am going to give it a chance for another while as I do really like him & he's good company etc but the writing is on the wall methinks!

Life would have been so less complicated if my dickhead of an xh had managed to keep his d**k in his pants . Sometimes I can feel really sad that I'm not getting to raise my dc's with the person who created them with me.

X post Patience, I like that

Ok I am sold forgiveness it is . Yesterday I was content with indifference but I suppose that is a by product of forgiveness and all the qoutes makes sense especially the drinking poison one. Do you know what LC I think in the long run my xh will be angrier with himself than I am , he just needs to go through his "What me responsible for all this " phase

My cousin was in a terrible mess last night. We are quite different and she had blocked all her xh blatant philandering from her mind even though they split 9 months ago because of it. Its easy to say now but I am glad I took the ripping the plaster off approach and faced up to everything from the start. Like you say Sov its hard to fathom why they do it and to repeat myself for so long they seem like the happy ones who walked away scot free and we just have to hope they suffer at some point the way we have

Starting thats a shame about Norm , enjoy it while you can then.Its so fabulous to hear someone who isnt just going to settle for something because its ok and knows their own worth and has the esteem to hold out for the right guy. Unless you're just plain fussy Starting !!

Happy I missed what you are poorly with but I hope you feel better soon - another Inbetweeners fan then. Well done on forgiveness for xh and lucky you B is rough around the edges my ow isnt.

AB how are you feeling,laughed at you using your phone to post thought typos had gone a bit haywire!

Am still ploughing through job application,you would think I was applying to rule the world !It has to be done by tonight though so I can chill out later.

Overall am feeling fabulous and full of dumpling optimism today

Waves to Tea Pink Sov Patience Mumfun

Well have had a relapse with my cold/flu! Am burning up & wondering how soon I can put dc's to bed. Just read a thread about dating online difficulties & thought to myself tg I've Norm so Getting you've given me too much credit . Will have to review things when I'm back in form & in my normal (or as normal as I ever am) frame of mind.

I know what you mean about the kids having there dad at home etc ,like it was all ahead of us ,but i am coming to terms now with what exactly was ahead of us and tbh i think we got a lucky escape.Even a few years ago we would have starved if we had left our men ok maybe 100yrs ago but still a few in the scheme of things ,how lucky are we that we have a choice and a life ahead of us without drink and drug abuse and dv.I also had a thought that maybe i had already used upmy lifetimes sex quota because i had plenty in the last 16yrs ,then i thought nah calm down ,plenty more shagging left for me

Patience an excellent post. You are completely right, we've had a v lucky escape. I would have loved a future with my xh only if I could have kept all the good bits & ditched the bad . In reality, yes a lucky escape! I think it's just cause I feel so sick I'm a bit emotional atm. Saying all that, I've built a lovely stable life here with my dc's & they are happy & content despite not seeing their father.

Just funny Startin' cos i was missing my old life 2 and told my tai chi teacher about the weekend ie X totally let me down.She screwed her face up at me and said why r you analysing it so much.I thought to myself ,bloody hell she thinks thats analysing ,its a grain of sand in the sahara mate LOL!Anyway i thought its because i still miss him,the companion,but i truly do not respect or want him back in my life.I do not need the "Where the fuck is he and with who nightmare"that my life had become .But i need to let it go now ,SOOOO tough but truly enjoy the freedom of my new life or i wlll never be happy.Sols letter might be sent soon and then officially i am working towards divorce.I just need to channel my HOPE in a different direction ,its all good Startin' ,thinking of checking out if there is a Pagan group close to us and see if they have a family day with big trees.Anyone ever been to a Pagan party ?