ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched No.7

[startingovernow]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether you are a new dumpling or a vet, feel free to join us in our quest for serenity. ...........

Getting re access i am lucky if i get 24hrs notice.Try to do Sundays but would be nice if i could organise something for myself with friends in advance.So i usually find out Saturday evening .I guess it will come to the point i no longer text on a wed ot thurs .He didnt have kids yesterday ,he didnt contact me til 4.30pm Sunday,he had lost his phone I would never have believed he could go a fortnight between visits ,and even then the visits are a few hours.This whole detatchment from dcs is v sad for both sides i feel.

Can i just say that i can keep the phonecalls v short now,b4 i would get emotional and want to talk to him ,now it is just business,then i dont get drawn into either rescuer or perpetrator and i dont take on his negativity,i guess the indifference and acceptance is really starting to kick in now x

Yikes Happy, sorry to hear you're in trouble again, hope you get sorted soon.

Patience, you do certainly sound like serenity has been restored . It is v hard to believe when they are able to detach from the dc's & I agree I think it is just v v sad when they go down that path.

Feel like a proper whingey arse atm, have to leave in a min for college & just feel cold, miserable & P*d off!! Am feeling completely sorry for myself, need a boot up the arse prob . Actually found I was feeling sorry for myself earlier that xh was such a fuckwit! Tis just my cold, it'll pass........

I think nowadays Startin' when i have a weep re X it is more the dissapointment that he chose not to step up to the plate and do any work on himself to join us in a more peaceful place ,i may never understand why he chose the path that he did but i now accept this is his choice and i have to move on without him as the life partner i thought he would be.I console myself with the belief that everything happens for a reason and a happier more respectful life is ahead of me now .Take care of yourself,bloody freezing here as well x

Well ladies, I am jumping on the feeling sorry for myself bandwagon too.

Doc prescribed me various antibiotics and to return later in week.

Have decided to go to bed and wallow. Actually, this may sound strange but I'm quite in the mood for a snuggle in the duvet and a weep - feels quite cathartic.

Wait to you hear this for a laugh Happy ....I dreamt last night that X drove me and dropped me off at previous X shagboyfriend i had when i was 21yo anyway i shagged him thought ,was that it ,ur shit in bed mate ,went down the stairs and jumped in the car with X again as if i was just what you did,and it was snowing I think it is some kind of regression ,clear out the crap thing ,anyway i woke up thinking it was my alarm but infact squeaky lung thing [similar noise]so need to lay off the fags did well last week then fell off the wagon friday nite !

Yes well that did make me laugh . But don't get me started thinking about sha**ing again as I currently don't seem to have any candidates.

Wallowing going well here, very self indulgent. DC's are even looking after me with music and drinks. May do this more often.

BTW I will go to Xmas London meet up - should be fun.

While I remember, have been googling some quotes again and found some wonderful ones to really make you think. Phone permitting will try and post some.

Right back to my lovely new book.

Hang on is everyone ill that came to my house..

Well take it easy and take all the spoiling you can get Happy

No I'm well

Hello

I am not ill either hope everyone is feeling ok

did i read that you are a runner getting? i have done a bit of running and really enjoyed it and i am thinking about getting back into it. the furthest i have managed is 8 miles but that was at my best and don't think i can manage more than 1 mile now

Hi all, just been catching up. I loved saturday, thank you Getting,I love the company of women and increasingly wonder what men are for Thank you for the goodies LC. Loved the photos of you and yours Patience. You ok Happy ? Glad your're having a cosy time in bed. I'm not ill Getting ,
get well those of you who are.

I'm just feeling a bit flat and cold and tired so going to bed now with hot choc. It's been such wonderful weather this summer, I can't bear the thought of it coming to an end. the summer sun made all the crap much easier to deal with. Blankets, candles fairy lights, hot choc and crumpets are all good too though

Nite xxx

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/1028210-healing-from-heartbreak-after-betrayal?msgid=21498971

found this thread i thought it might be of interest

Back home after a night out with an old friend. Ended up leaving my car at dd's flat and she dropped me off so somehow I feel sure that xp is going to read something into that even though I was home and in pyjamas for 11.30pm. Perhaps I shouldn't have invented the Rich Doctor? He is rooting for a fight. You know when you walk in and you can breathe the tension? Nonetheless, I shall sleep soundly with a clear conscience and a belly full of pizza and wine.

Just off to look at your link Patience.

Happy, hope the antibotics kick in soon but that the pampering continues for another while .

Pink, hope you're not coming down with the dumpling BUG (())

LC, good to leave xp wondering about rich Dr me thinks

Patience, just got lost in your link, some v wise stuff indeed. Just did the 3 wishes meditation & lovely stuff indeed . Maybe the dream means that your xh has now drove you to the point that you need now need to look elsewhere for a good shag?? . Sorry couldn't resist! Trust starting to always lower the tone

College went great tg despite the god awful cold that has decended here today! Schedule seems like it should be manageable & should even leave a little time over for Norm every now & again .

Was relying on you to help with the snow explanation Startin,what was that all about?Lovely blog need to read it all ,i have lots to read ATM so will have to be strict about bedtimes now so i have MY time again.Need to clarify things re business this week and work towards a start up date .I think dream took me back to a seriously "Low" stage of my life and sort of said how meeting X had helped me arrive at where i am now ,but interesting how i wasnt in bed with X in the dream ,that is what struck me . Glad college was good and leaves time for some fun x

It says that melting snow [there was some grass around the edge of the back garden]means obstacles and fears dissapearing.

It also says going back to a previous X in ur dream means you have to learn the lesson that he taught you and use it now in your life.I think the lesson was that i needed to really improve my self esteem ,like REALLY,and my self love.In my dream last night the X really wasnt "all that" and i think i need to take that with me now .The psychological neediness has gone from my connection with STBXH .My hope is gone for reconcilliation.My heartbreak will heal and i will form healthier relationships because of it.I need to trust in my lessons i have learnt but i am very much a work in progress.I think my dream was to help serve as a reminder that i have coped with pain in the past and known that the relationship wasnt right for me in any way shape or form and i will do this again in the shape of acceptance re the break up of my marriage x

Morning hope those under the weather are feeling better today.

Patience I liked the link too and I am currently feeling my way towards seeing the positive that was during and has come out of my marriage. The concept of forgiveness is of less interest to me and I am aiming more for indifference to the sort of things that crop up. In my case there isnt so much to get angry about (aside from revisiting pain over ow and rejection etc)as he sticks to stuff to do with dc and is even handed over finances so there is less reason for negative feelings to resurface.

This last few weeks I just feel so much better and find myself,finally,spending so much less time thinking about the whole subject. My mind is more likely to be occupied with what job I would like or just general stuff . Along the lines of the link I am also quite good at recognising the positive in life and smelling the roses each day.This ability has been stretched to breaking point over the last year but now its rising to the fore again

AB yes I go running but it hasnt progressed from around 4k each time since I began 2 years ago. Its more of a stress relief backside size control thing really ! If you are going to be in a rural setting you should go for it. I drive a couple of miles to where I normally run and love being in beautiful countryside and as I do the same runs watching the changes in season. Very therapeutic

LC I had forgotten about the Doctor thing !

Starting glad college went ok and you can visualise it all working out. You are brilliant for taking on a 4 year course with young dc and so little support .Its such a good idea though because once they are in school you will have a profession to go into. From reading your posts over time I think you will be a very talented counsellor.

Pink lovely to see you on the thread I know what you mean about women being better company. I adore crumpets too loaded with butter.Sigh.

Anyway need to wake dc. Looking forward to a day of my chin being up my tits being out and moving forward

Waves to Mumfun Sov Happy Tea and everyone

morning

everything feels lovely and calm here which is a lovely feeling everything seems to be coming together with house and i am hoping that in a couple of weeks all the legal stuff will be sorted for a while and i can take a breather and enjoy the run up to christmas with the kids and my new wellies

patience and mumfun thanks for the info - have only briefly looked will make a cup of tea in a mo and read through - hope you are both ok x

starting - good-o about your course and also having a bit of time left for norm

getting - i only like to run on roads really - i don't like to run in secluded places (scaredy cat!!!) but the pavements play havoc with my knees glad you are feeling calmer and positive

hope you are feeling ok today happy and the meds have kicked in x

waves to tea, sov, chair pink and all other dumplings !

Woke up this morn feeling like crap, cold is turning in flu direction! Have been to chemist & an seriously medicating myself in the hopes to be presentable, fit & able for my date tonight with Norm . Should have guessed yesterday when I turned into a whingey arse for a few hrs, that only ever happens when I'm on verge of being really sick!

Despite all that I'm feeling positive again tg. Had major doubts during my crisis of y'day afternoon that I'd made a big mistake with college. If I'd continued on my old course I'd have been qualified in two years so the thought of another 4 yrs & the possibility of not getting a place each year seemed really daunting. After going last night I feel I've made the right decision with regards to picking something that will fit in with having dc's 24/7 & will still allow me to give them 100%. I'm going to take it a day at a time but it feels manageable & ok it's two yrs longer but at the end of the day my dc's are my priority for now.

I've lots of male friends too so can't really agree on the comments about men . In fact am off to meet one for coffee now. Also re comment about not being able to think of what you might need a man for I know some people are engaging in the delights of the RR versions etc but really there's nothing quiet like the real thing .

Patience, think that's a v good explanation of your dream. I always check the interpretation of any of my more vivid dreams & always find them to be spot on to where I'm at emotionally. I think when we let go of the hope of reconcilliation it really leads us to the path of healing & moving on.

Big waves to all my fellow sick & healthy dumplings

I obviously didn't get close enough to anyone as I'm still ok here

Get better soon x

RR is just w*ing Startin .Orgasms without the headfuckery.Hope you are feeling better soon x

Ooooo Patience, such refreshing talk

lol happy and patience !

bluerrghhhh i have man flu and it feels awful, dcs have it too now

was going to do some more packing but it is bed early for me tonight with the inbetweeners and mn for company hopefully i will drift off to the land of nod nice and earlt. i have a party on friday night and wnat to lot Hot to trot

hope you feel better for your date starting.

Oh dear AB sorry you feel rubbish. Inbetweeners will definetly pick you up though !

Patience

Just made some delicious soup which tastes as if you messed about forever but is actually 3 things in the pan. My kind of cooking !

Is there anything on MN about the Xmas meet up ?

LC hope you are ok and it wasnt as bad as anticipated with xp