ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched No.7

[startingovernow]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether you are a new dumpling or a vet, feel free to join us in our quest for serenity. ...........

Oh Starting your dumpling power and negotiation skills are something I could do with being taught. Must be the charm and that smile of yours. Glad you managed to get on the flight after all

Patience sounds like a perfect day LOL at the take away shenanigans. Your DCs sound awesome, can just imagine the whole thing in my head and have a big smile on my face. Hope my two turn out as well. Did you give the girls some dumpling advice

I better go to bed, I've been yawning all night and should have gone ages ago. Will regret this tomorrow when the DCs wake at 6am. I was watching proof of life on bbc 3.

oooh sounds like a close one starting - glad you got back safe and sound xx

happy - everything ok with the car?

when i got home h was crying again....

Armbow, brace yourself. I'm half expecting drama this week too as xp should be signing for a flat very soon. I have rehearsed my response. Just in case. Not that I think he misses me that much. He just misses his creature comforts.

Have you thought about what you would say?

Hi all

Getting, thanks for a wonderful day. And for the extra unexpected hospitality. I actually think think that I should have given the AA man one

So nice to meet up, photos will follow - any delay will be down to inability to work out how to email them.

LC, at ocado and what a lovely thought, in retrospect I suppose that random gifts from supermarkets are rare.

AB, this is developing into a habit for WB (wozband), counselling is his answer I feel.

Tea, so grateful to you for saving Starting and so sorry for putting you in a position where saving was necessary. Starting, TG you made it back ok.

MumFun, thanks for once again listening to my bubble. It is sometimes hard to escape from a stationary car.

Patience, so glad you are building your stamina, I need to do the same. After all, a random encounter may lead to some serious shagging for me (still feeling desperate) and I need to be prepared.

Waves to all posting and lurking. I have some more funny news that I cannot share currently but will in due course.

My H used to cry once we were separated in the early days and it was often in front of the children, which then made DD worry about him and stroke him and say "it's ok Daddy" and try and give him her doggy toy (her favourite). In the end I had to put my foot down, as I was worried about what the DCs would make of it all and I wanted them to feel settled and secure etc. As DD would talk about him once he left in the way toddlers do and I was rather concerned about whether it was adding to how hard it was for her to get used to daddy not living with us. So I was a heartless cow and would usher him elsewhere if he started to look tearful, such as in a bedroom, until he calmed again or send him off

You're both top dumplings I really hope LC that your ex finds somewhere soon and with minimum of fuss

AB when do you move again? I really do have a brain like a sieve nowadays...

happy - yes it is becoming a habit. there is no way on this earth he would go to counselling if i suggested it to him, but i agree he needs to go.

however i am starting to lose patience with him somewhat - he left me after all. if i can manage to pull it together and not be sobbing then why the hell can't he?

its very unattractive

tea - luckily more often than not if he cries he walks away from the children (tg) (we move end of september/start of oct all being well ...not long now (very excited!!!!!))

Morning all

Well its cold wet and horrid here so I am glad we met up yesterday and I am glad you all had a good time. I look forward to the photos Happy and your funny story

LC really sorry about yesterday I dont have your email so thats why I didnt put 2 and 2 together. I have had my post withdrawn to be on the safe side as I presume thats your name [getting is thick emoticon]and you wont want it on here ! I hope your xp gets himself sorted without burdening you too much.

AB honestly your xh is a one isnt he. As you say he left you ffs so why offload his sorrow onto you at every turn. However he is probably helping your recovery as as you say its not a good look blubbing . Your strength and determination is a real inspiration !

Starting glad you got back ok it was all a bit by the seat of your pants ! Hope you got some solid sleep , you certainly looked good for someone who had been on the razz ! Agree with Patience theres hope for fab sex yet

Tea it sounds like you have had to do so much hand holding of your xh as well and he left too ffs. Hope there were no show downs when you got back re PIL and Scotland.

Well I googled reviews for Eat Love Pray and you were right ladies its universally panned so I am giving it a miss. Hopefully I will still see my friend maybe just drink coffee or something.

Looking forward to dc coming home and hoping to have a nice film night, ds and I parted on bad terms on friday which I didnt like. We will be eating lots of cake !!

Waves to Sov ,Mumfun,Pink and everyone have a lovely day

Thanks for the fab day yesterday. You were all stars and I loved meeting up with you all!

Getting - you were the hostess with the mostest!

LC - cant believe you sent us the lovely delivery -thank you so much. Hopefully you can come to the next meet.

Starting - thanks for making all the effort to make it and at your close call going home. We are not worthy bowing to your dumping powers in getting yourself on the flight.

Thanks to Happy for picking up someone who had lost her way! :)And Tea for getting us out of a pickle!

AB - urghhh. So self centred - Teas strategy is the right one

The Mumsnet meet is 27th November not the 25th I said. Its £20 and in London. I would love to go so would anyone else like to sign up?

When I got home last night I found the biggest spider Ive ever seen in the UK in my room. I just left it, went back later when it had disappeared and went to bed. I just ignore them.

I have a horrible cold today so hope noone else has picked it up.

Have happy days today and forget the wayward spouses ever existed.

Oh mumfun I'd have had to catch it and chuck it outside at the least Wouldn't want it breeding in my home. Yikes brave woman!

Those average speed cameras on the M25 do not help you get someone to an airport fast. I suppose the fact I went at 70 mph the whole way unless in the 50's zone wasn't great. I kept thinking that 40 mins to check in would be ok for a flight to Ireland, so I didn't drive like a bat out of hell. Wish I had now

H ushered FIL off quite quickly once I got home, so no discussions

Enjoy your film Getting and Cake

AB - least your H has the sense to leave the room when crying. Agree with Getting comments.

Feeling a bit yuck this afternoon. Could be the prawn cocktail at lunch

Thanks for deleting your post, Getting. Yes it is my name but I'm not too bothered. It's not as if I'm famous! Thanks anyway. I just so wanted to come to the meet-up and I cancelled at the last minute then realised people were flying from another country to be there so it was just a little thing to ease my guilt. And Ocado really isn't that posh or expensive you know. I just get the basics from there. My other favourite shop is Lidl. They have some really good stuff at rock bottom prices. Brilliant for fresh fruit and veg, meat and cheese and some decent European chocolate. I'm a huge Lidl fan!

Anyway, while you lot have been living it up/shagging I've been hard at work all weekend. I'm finished tomorrow morning and I should be glad but it marks the return of xp as he says he can't afford to stay in a hotel until he moves into his new flat. I am dreading it. I've had the house all to myself for the weekend, no Sky sports and empty beer cans in sight. And the sound of all these crying men terrifies me. I might sound like I've got it all together but I'm a sucker for a sob story. I cry at anything. If xp pulled that stunt with me I'd completely dissolve. Good job his heart's made of stone .

LC why have you got to have xp then surely hes had ample time to sort alternative accomodation with one of his Jeremy Kyle friends perhaps ?

Mumfun have you been rained on at the festival ? I will look at meet up date and see if h has dc then but I am interested.

Yeah I'd make him stay elsewhere LC with a friend too. Maybe I'm horrid though

Oh, he's had ample time but he's buried his head in the sand for 3 months and didn't believe my utimatum. For some reason he doesn't want his Jeremy Kyle friends to know as OW is part of that circle (no surprise there) so it's still a Big Secret. They don't even know we have split. As if anything is likely to shock them and their car crash lives. So this is a last minute panic but I feel I'm on the home strait now.

having a break from packing up the house ....

you know when you start something like a clear out all full of vigour and then half through you start to flag?? well i am flagging. there is stuff ALL over the floor, my house looks like someone has just come in and thrown everything in the air .

it is a good feeling though because it is one step further to being on my new path !

don't have to see h for a week, so no more crying fiascos for a while (hopefully). however he has been sending me chatty texts today {he is a muppet) honestly i don't think he knows what he wants, good job i can think clearly at the moment.

LC - yeah you need to get him out asap - from what i can remember you own the house don't you (it is just in your name???) you are on the home straight, you don't need him dilly dallying around whilst you are trying to get on with your life it will absolutely impede your recovery. i can't believe he still keeping it all a secret that must be very hard for you.

mumfun - am looking into the meet up re childcare but will let you know.

waves to patience, sov, chair, getting, starting, happy, pink and tea.

going to do another half an hour of packing then i am stopping regardless of what my floor looks like

Am impressed AB at your packing.

I think your H is having trouble letting go and realising it's over AB, big time!

LC, v confusing for you & ds having x move back in again. Wishing you luck & hope you manage to sort something asap.

Armbow, great to hear you're so positive & have made a start on packing. Lovely meeting you too.

Tea, not at all, you were wonderful to jump to my rescue. Btw check in closed at 17.55 lol so I'd left it v tight to pass through customs etc.....

Happy, hardly your fault that I was in a position to need rescuing! Your an ace dumpling & I much appreciate your collecting me & sorting my rescuing . I also bow down to your baking talents .

Mumfun, sadly I too have been hit by a cold today! Mind you think my immune system was shattered due to burning candle at both ends .

Waves to all......

Wow that is tight. Next time you're over for a dumpling meet up, we'll all make sure we leave more time for you to get home Although the mooted idea of a meet up across the waters we talked about in the car sounds fab

Sorry you have a cold. Can Norm nurse you? LOL

Help. I sent xp a text last night enquiring about his plans this week and he has failed to reply. I'm imagining a big sulk or a showdown later so now I'm on a knife edge.

How do you mean LC ? A showdown about what ? If you have been working all weekend you should be relaxing not worrying about that twunt. I presume he didnt stay at yours if you have had to text him?

Am off to careers appointment will check inw when I get back x

Just ignore him back,depends what was in the text but any interaction between the 2 of you could be viewed as him having a chance LC .I think he is playing games to get you upset.Do some meditation, have a sleep go for a walk or have a swim be very self indulgent ,this is your time today,have some reflection ,then you will be ready for him.Def recommend walking though helps to rid my tummy of nervous anxiety.My X never ever EVER replies to straight forward questions via text,he sees himself as the victim in all this ,i have learned to stay calm now and not interact ,b4 it just made me angry ,he still wont text re access or answer texts about pick ups etc.All very childish IME and very unattractive.

Doesnt that make his life more complicated Patience ? So does he just pitch up when it suits him to see dc giving you 5 minutes notice or something ?

Got some help applying for school receptionist job so thats good and when I get off here I will need to spend the rest of today on it.

Its very Autumnal here today , I love it its my favourite time of year. Went for a run first thing and it was all misty - fab

It was a real boost seeing everyone on saturday and its nice to know who you are talking to. DC eyes boggled at all the cakes when they got home last night think we will eating them all week although I am trying to resist.

Feeling like I am on track for fabulousity on the 10th October which is a mental D Day for me as its our wedding anniversary and the day it all began last year. My plan is to really get stuck into job searching and lose a couple of pounds and in a dream world to have agreed terms with xh by that date. Watch this space.

So Mumfun and Starting have colds hmm I will top on Vit C then Hope you are feeling a bit better today.

Sov are u ok ?

Chyler did we scare you away ?

Waves to Pink,Happy and all lurkers

Yes, I must rise above it. He was in a hotel or similar for the weekend with ds. It was done in a flouncy way. I texted him to tell him that I would collect ds from school today and did he want me to take ds to football this evening (bearing in mind that he has all his football kit with him). I added a cheery "hope you had a good weekend". Perhaps he thought I was being sarky. The showdown will be that I am forcing him into a shit-hole flat. Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself?

Patience, I fear you're right that he is going to try and play the victim. I must not engage because if I do that will make me madder than mad. Victim, my arse?!

I've been asleep all day (worked nights) and I'm meeting a friend later. DD will babysit for me if xp has his arse in his hands.

Hope everyone else is having more serenity than me today.

hey everyone

Just a quickie to say im ok, just been soooo busy trying to get everything done for landlords visit tomorrow

Am really really gutted i couldnt make it saturday it sounds like you had a wonderful time will definately have to make the next one and think i may even go to the mumsnet one in novermber

LC hope everythings ok with you and X, i remember when X was here, always being worried about what mood he would be in, it really is no way to live

AB, enjoy the peace of X not being around this week and blubbing to you, hopefully by the time you see him again he will have snapped out of it

Mum and Starting hope your feeling better soon ((hugs))

Getting will keep everything crossed for receptionist job for you :o

Chyler....hopefully you have worked things out with H if not dont be scared we dont bite, i promise

Hope everyones having a good day and that we can all remain serene no matter what we face

btw quick update still no contact from X, it will be 3 weeks tomorrow and XSIL has decided she doesnt want anything to do with us now either as she didnt like my comment on FB about hoping he writes his car off(like i said to her i didnt wish for him to be injured just for his car to be wrote off)

TTFN

Sov, unfortunately a lot of inlaws tend to take sides when a split occurs, blood being thicker & all that! Good luck for tomorrow.

LC, hope you've catched up on some rest.

Getting, also wishing you the best of luck on the job front. P.S. you have a great figure, don't see what weight you have to loose .

Well I'm fast wilting! It's bloody freezing here today. I'm cold & shivery & last thing I want to do is to spend hrs at college this evening. Don't know if I'm going to be able to motivate myself to do this all winter! It's also not helped by thoughts in my head that if I'd continued on with old course (impossible with dc's) I'd have had only two more years, I am now looking at a further 4 years!

Hi all - also sense slight cold coming.

Have been sitting in casualty (dont panic ) for 2.5 hours and STILL not been seen. Fabulosity is waning.

Getting, I too think you have a great figure.

Sov, goodness knows what your XH is playing at.

Starting, think you will feel better when you get to college and get back in the swing if it.

Waves to all of you lovely people x