ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched No.7

[startingovernow]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether you are a new dumpling or a vet, feel free to join us in our quest for serenity. ...........

Ooooo Starting , ,

You can be my guest if we do meet up next year Starting. It's sure big enough, it can apparently sleep 6.

Right just catching up and then off to start packing. Living on the 3rd floor of flats and lugging everything down all those stairs on my own sucks though! Hope I can fit it all in the car. Send me positive vibes for this weekend ladies. I could do with some fresh air and fun with DCs. They've got their all in one water proofs and wellies so I don't care what the weather does Might go on the beach in jumpers and build sand castles anyway.

Went to bed at 7.30pm last night and feel better today. Lets hope it lasts!

Love the fact he's so lovely Starting, you deserve it. Even if it doesn't last, I'm sure it will have enriched your life anyway. Hope it does last though

Patience I agree trust your instincts and go for it, if you can get a clause like Starting says, even better.

Ooooooooo Happy lol!

Tea, I empathise with the lugging of everything down etc. As you know I have same gap between my youngest two as you have with yours but mine are a yr older. I have to say that year makes a huge difference & I find everything is so much easier now they've gotten a bit older, so hang in there, it does get easier . Also as you know I love going to the beach with dc's & have to say mine have as much fun regardless of if the sun is shining or it's raining. I'm delighted for you & hope you have a fab break & come back fully recharged

Waves to all...........

Morning all

Starting thats lovely about Norm and you deserve to have some love and fun. Dont worry if it lasts Carpe Diem and all that.

Patience go for it if it feels right!

I am fully restored to fabulousity had a good day yesterday and today is looking good. I seem to have gained some proper perspective on my house move etc and feeling very pragmatic about the future today.

I have my dc this weekend and already have done the food shop so we will be eating proper meals. Tomorrow is the start of Strictly Come Dancing which I love and we are going to sit down and make a mini event of it .

Only a week until the meet up and I am really looking forward to seeing everyone. Those that are coming if you get a minute can you confirm and if you are bringing anything food wise so I can plan accordingly.

Tea have a great time camping it will be lovely just to get away and fingers crossed for sunshine for you

See you later

Hi Getting, x post. Really great to hear your restored to fabulousity today! Enjoy the day

Morning all (waves furiously to all and sundry)

WTG Starting, glad your feeling loved up :o and round of applause for Norm's contact with his DD, thought men like that were a myth lol

Patience im always a great fan of following my instincts, so if yours are telling you to go for it then listen, you dont want to be wondering what if?

Tea what's the age gap between your DC? mines 13 months between DS2&3 and 17 months between DS3 & DD
Cant wait till their older and i dont need to be an octopus whenever we go anywhere will certainly make trips out more enjoyable hope you have a great time and continue to feel better :)

How's everybody doing today then?

i woke in a foul mood as had dreamt XP was staying with my friends and when i went to visit said friends he gave me a letter and a sealed envelope, reading the letter i couldnt seem to understand it but a friend explained that XP was seeing someone which didnt seem to bother me and that she was currently in prison and had wrote to tell XP that she was pregnant, when i turned round XP was standing there grining insanely and i just went for him and had to be dragged away, i was so angry that he was happy to be having another baby when he doesnt even bother with my 4 (never did find out what was in the envelope though) so i woke up v v angry....hate dreams like that with such powerful emotions

Am going to scrub the house and hope to shake of these feelings and stop the depression setting back in :(

I still miss him, i still love him, i'm angry with him for not seeing our DC and i'm jealous that he could go and meet someone else (i've had a few admirers on a dating site in the last few days and seem to get on well but when asked how many children i have and i say 4 that's an end of the messages) wish i could just stop all my feelings towards him and not care, just like he's done........right im off depression is trying to suck me down.....BBL x

Sov i found out mine has ran up ma huge bill re silly wee tart !Now he has phoned all the utilities and said he is cancelling the direct debits ,my tax credits arent thru yet and we always said we would change stuff when i got my money thru ,what a tosser ,he is such a loser that i think everytime he shows his true colours it helps me move further away from him,just a lucky escape but it has taken me 11 mths since initial revelations to get close to feeling this free.Going to WA counselling on Monday so looking forward to it.It is an addiction now rather than thinking we are ever getting back together ,i am looking forward to my divorce and i NEVER thought i would hear myself say that,he is no good for me and he was violent to me FFS!What kind of guy does that to his wife anyway,i have learnt so much over this past year and i am coming closer to the real ME everyday .
I love it Startin@ so glad it isnt dementia{yet}

OK re house ,letting agent not willing to take a deposit but will take my references and start the process as far as possible ,so basically i will still get to view the property b4 i make a decision ,i get first refusal and when tennant moves out it should be straightforward to sign for the house.I can still look at other properties meanwhile and lost nothing .I can also say to my new landlord all of the above and hope they are civilised and dont evict meAll a bit mad tbh but dont think it will be a problem just all part of my journey.Makes me smile tbh .Hope i will still be smiling at the end of October !
Anyone tried the 3 line relaxation yet i think you should have a group session at the meet up and i will join in up here ,hope everyone has a fab weekend with as little bullshit behaviour from Xs as possible LOL!
Dumpling power ,chin up tits out !

Patience, it's brutal that so many twunts go down that path! You would think if they had an ounze of decency that they would realise that it's their poor dc's that will be hurt by them not providing financially. When my xh could hurt me in no other way he went down that route too & even went so far as to stop the maintenance in DEC ffs & again just before he knew I was going on holls! TBH I think that crap will come back on them 1000 times over. The good thing in all of what you've to deal with is that you are right, it really really does help to push us further away from them. Stuff with house sounds v positive & at least now it seems you are guaranteed somewhere in Oct at least . On the relaxation/meditation stuff I can't recommend it highly enough. I used to do a lot of deep meditation work over past two years & firmly believe it helped to keep me sane & helped me to let go & heal.

Sov, you might recall I've mentioned before that I used to have the most horrific nightmares about xh & wake in the middle of the night either in a sweat or crying . Ultimately I think it's the brain's way of coping/processing the trauma & while it's horrible it prob helps you to heal emotionally.

Those men that don't reply when they hear you have 4 dc's are not worth knowing anyway. I have a friend that has 4 dc's (two diff fathers) who met someone v v nice, who treats her dc's like his own & whom she went on to marry . Keep the faith. Allow yourself time to heal & the right person will be put your way.

Cheers for that Starting :) my biggest fear is that i will spend the rest of my life alone :(
I do remember about the nightmares that you had, just really hate them and it really drags me down thinking about things i just dont want to face
Thought i'd take a look at the dating sites just to learn how to talk to men again if nothing else, am not after a relationship or a new father for my DC but they still run a mile, ahh bollox to em they dont know what their missing

Sounding good for the house Patience, Hope it's everything your hoping for and more :o

Am in same boat as Tea really XP doesn't contribute to the DC, even when he does any work (which isnt very often)it all goes on cannabis and drink these days....dont epect this to change especially since he wont even see them :(

Really frustrates me atm, wish someone would take a baseball bat to him and knock some sense into him, can't he see he's hurting them Grrrrrrr (think i need anger managment as well as councelling lol)
Guess the whole situation is just winding me up today, got a sick DD and my house should be visited by kim and aggy and theres nothing i can do about it cos she wont let me put her down poor love (sigh)

Its so depressing reading posts about men with young dc who arent just a bit mean but completely shirk any responsibility financially and in seeing them [anger]

I am so sorry Sov and Patience that on top of everything else you have that to deal with .

Patience hope the house comes off , yes I think you should do some relaxation stuff for us via satellite link or something .

DD got a friend for a sleepover so I am going to be bombarded with giggling later.

Sov you didnt let the grass grow re dating sites I am sure someone will come up. Partyman never got back to me which is ok as I decided paying my way and driving him home isnt really me in any case. Give xh his due he knew how to treat me on those sorts of things iyswim.

Kids watching"Pocahontas"every dolly and teddy they own and other various animals sat alongside enjoying the film !

Sov, so sorry to hear you've a sick dd to cope with on top of everything else, hope she's a bit better by now. Have faith, when the time is right you will indeed meet someone. Your situation sounds a bit like mine. Sad & all that it is that your dc's (and mine) don't get to see their father it sounds like it might be the best thing for them for now. If it's any consolation, my dc's are as happy & content as any other dc's despite not seeing their father.

Getting, hope sleepover is going well . I had the same with xh in that he was always overly generous so I'd find it v hard to be with someone who expected me to pay my way for every meal or drink etc. It's not about the money as I'd be v generous. It's prob v sexist but I find it gentlemanly .

Patience, hope dolly & teddy party going well lol.

Morning all

Hope the sleepover went well Getting and you managed to get some sleep despite all the giggling :o

Did the dolls and teddys enjoy the film Patience? :)

Hope everyone's feeling on top of the world this morning and have a lovely day today

Waves to all

Hi all, feeling so random at the moment hence minimal posting.

Looking forward to face to face chats.

Having strange sensations of being 18 again but sadly in reality a lot older and not quite sure what to do with it - considering a thread on the subject.

Waves to all xxx

Hmmm Happy not sure what you mean think you should start a thread and explain . I agree looking forward to face to face chats and this time next week we will be

Patience I miss those kings of things re teddies, at least dc still have lots of them and dd still takes her 2 favourites to xh when she stays there.

Yes Starting I was very spoilt on a material level by xh too so I think almost any man I meet will be unable to match that which I really am ok with. But as you say I think its more about the attitude and yes I do consider it gentlemanly to pay at first especially when the person can clearly afford to do so and its a cheap meal at TGI's ffs !!!

Anyway I have stolen a quote from another thread, Starting you will have to look away as you are in love now

"Find yourself again and become an I rather than half a We then you can find what you want from life"

Actually Starting thats what you did really isnt it ?

Anyway that quote is my mantra for today and I know you will like it too Patience

Its a gorgeous day and I had a lovely evening last night with a house full of dc who stayed over and a couple of friends for an impromptu drink.

I am going to drag myself to the gym and then just have a fabulousity day because today I can tell I am going to feel so damn good that I havent got an H in tow to worry about or a marriage that isnt right that I have to cover up for and pretend to the world I am happily married like a couple of my really close friends are doing right now. I can do whatever I like and be me.

Waves to everyone and LC and Tea hope you are having fun

Hmm good quote Getting.

I too will be sporty (and musicy) today. And eve with friends planned tonight also. In fact, I'd better get up.

Finally looked at divorce forms yesterday. There must be a business opportunity somewhere for someone willing to complete those forms for people (not a job for great fabulosity though)

Fabulousity under threat estate agent rang to say has 3 people desperate to see house and its not even on market yet. Wish didnt have to leave our home. Hate vibes being sent to that twunt.

Its only bricks and mortar. Sigh.

Happy did wonder how those forms were coming along ,thats probably whats making you feel "random". I am not at that stage but yes I bet its hideous , I suppose just try and get it over with. Maybe use meet up as a deadline ? Dont know how you work but I am a great one mini goals.

Off to gym determined to feel fabulous

Urgh, house sale.

Getting, surely it will take months to fill forms in and get documentary evidence of my life (thinks creatively about how to cost clothes budget). I seem to even have to list how many poos I do a week ffs.

Probably doesn't help that XH opted out of all finances so his form will be very small (hmm, his rent and food and zero maintenance).

Love the quote getting ,i know i am def not part of a WE now so def working on discovering ME.Everyday it is so liberating to just do what you like when you like with the kids ,like today we spotted a fun day and just stopped off for an hour kids did the bouncy castle and played football , just would never have happened b4.Also discovered that my RR pink buzzy friend is helping my patience no end, i think it is the release of endorphins or something but def have more patience with the kids and i think it helps tone the pelvic floor so its all good Also let my imagination run riot re who is giving me one at the time ,im telling you its all about moving on LOL!!!!
DD has picked a pink cowboy hat with fluffy trim and sparkles for a party tomorrow ,its life in the fast lane here .........

hi all .... back home now.

Will catch up shortly.

hope you are all ok.

x

Patience really !!!!

AB look forward to hearing from you later

Am about to cuddle up with dc and watch new Transformers movie

Back later

Its all about inner peace Getting

"Sometimes men are just cunts a mystery" by PIONEER tonight on another thread

just made me laff out loud i just dont think its much more complicated than that!

Hope you dont mind me sharing this PIONEER x

ROTFPMSL @ Patience think i need to get me some of that "inner peace" :o