ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched No.7

[startingovernow]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether you are a new dumpling or a vet, feel free to join us in our quest for serenity. ...........

I am in a real rage [anger] [anger]

Just speaking to exh about money etc and I said to him that being a SAHM all these years I hadnt made a contingency plan for being dumped and by him leaving he has completely altered the landscape of my future . He said "Well I didnt leave we separated "

That had an affair then in spite of the fact I had gone every last mile on everything to keep our marriage together he moved out.Then he got together with ow. Now he wants to tell me we separated and I have 50% responsibilty for our marriage ending like we sat down had a chat and agreed it was best to split.

Wtf. I know its because he wants to ease his guilt and responsibilty for whats happened so by shoving half of it my way he can reduce his burden.

I know its academic now and what does it matter what he says but I am so furious and the thought of him standing at the bar chatting to people telling them what a shame it is it didnt work but we knew we had to split up ,it was for the best etc makes me livid.

I despise that twunting bastard.

Sorry for all you other dumplings with troubles its just so shit isnt it

Yes my X says he had to leave because he was so unhappy and marriage had broken down

His unhappiness came from the fact i could no longer tolerate ....

DV
Cannabis abuse
Alcohol abuse
Porn/ sex line addiction
Texting /calling young women
Pathalogical lies
Emotional Abuse

Can anyone tell me if living with the above equals "Happiness"my mil recently declared all i ever did was nag her poor son .

I know i am suffering from the trauma of abuse at the moment and counselling will help but i have to remember the best revenge is living well and that my X is evil ,just wish i didnt ever have to see him again .

Evil because he told me he wanted his family life back,loved me and he had worked hard to change ,x2 weeks later he has a 21yo in tow and tells me he has moved on and i should too.By the way he still has no accomodation after 10ths .

No time to post now but I am lurking furiously from the bottom up and just seen your post getting.

That just reminds me of when my h was leaving and I made some refference while crying my eyes out about my lovely DC now coming from a broken home. He was genuinely bemused and denied that it was now a broken home. I couldn't believe it. He thought he could just skip away merrily and take no blame or responsibility.

They really are thick as shit and twice as vile are'nt they. AND SO IN DENIAL.

Had to write that......Got to go, catch up later.

Seperated ???????? I'm so angry for you getting.

Course that's what they tell everyone else too WANKERS !!!!!!!

Hi all echo all everyone is saying

Getting, my H would say the same as yours I think. In my casr, XH dicked about with OW for a year before leaving but was totally in denial over it. Said it had nothing to do with breakup. He also attended counselling and was not truthful. Silly boy but detach detach. He is truly in another world now with OW and allegedly her family.

Pink, Mumfun and LC good to see you back on thread.

Waves to all x

Thankyou fellow dumplings brothers in solidarity !

Well (searching for the positive) on the plus side I didnt cry afterwards and even if it was tears of rage I would have cried even a fortnight ago but I am the new armour plated Getting.

Oh and guess what else he said when I refuted his statement that I am 50% responsible ? He said "Well its probably best if you keep believing that and thinking its true it will help you get over things and move on more quickly " wtf just how patronising and smug is he ? The worst of it is he will think thats really kind and thoughtful. I mean is it me ? Tell me is it me? Aaaargh.

Getting is now able to focus on others.

Patience I am so sorry your XH is such a shocking twunt and I feel a bit princessy getting so mad about my troubles. He doesnt pay anything towards dc ? That is utter shite. Who reports back to you what your MIL says ?

Pink sorry it took me ranting to lure you out of obscurity come back and post again soon

Happy "silly boy" when do I get to be so pragmatic ?

LC couldnt decipher your post , may have been red mist I was looking through at the time, how are things with XP . Manhattan

Anyway I am sorting out dc ,well listening to men being killed on the PS3 , and then its time to get ready for later.

Starting at your dressing up killer shoes etc but sadly I am a bit podgy or my nice clothes so jeans and a nice top will suffice . Will report later.

Thanks again to responding to me so fast it lowered my temperature by a few crucial degrees

Waves to everyone

Good luck tonight Getting

It's not you Getting. Far easier for him to justify his actions by placing partial blame on you as well. He's a selfish

Getting, your xh is a complete twat to have said that. It is most certainly NOT you, it's HIM, he's a twat of the highest order to have said that to you. I mean wtf was he hoping to achieve??? for you! However, do detach, detach, detach & have a fab time tonight. I'm a lover of jeans & think jeans & top etc is always a good choice

Patience, ((Hugs)) again, can you do something nice for yourself tonight?? A bath, hair treatment, a few mars bars?? Sending you virtual support.

Waves to Pink, Mumfun, Happy & everyone else

Dont really want to post about who Getting but just to say she verbally attacked a member of my familly in the street then claimed they were harassing her because they told her the truth,her precious son had lied to her and said various completely made up stories.He used to give us money but not since OW appeared,living on my credit card til benefits get sorted out .Just want to move house and get independent.Have loads of things to do re business so cracking on with that.Need to do artwork FFS!

Tea, agree all twunts try to justify their own actions by putting blame on innocent party . Any news on little Noah??

Just need to get back on track Startin thanks for everyones support x

Oh Patience, to jump back to your previous point about xh having a great single life etc. I still stand over that it is not a life any of us would really want. It is a superficial life with no real meaning. I don't think you would be happy with a life where you abandoned your dc's! Yes, as I know it can be v hard having dc's 24/7 but we get all the joy & nice stuff too. Would you really be happy just seeing your dc's for a few hrs a wk? We have the choice to live good honest decent lives with our dc's & believe me you will refind your happiness again & you wouldn't for one second want the lonely pathetic life your xh has choosen for himself. Chin up

Obviously i am not going to abandon my kids as i see it i have no choice X has seen to that .But read my post its not a bad life Startin ,if he wanted to see kids he could ,so he's not exactly heartbroken .No he has got the easy road ATM ,he is back in control and i am left to pick up the pieces of this fucking mess!

Says he is taking them to the fucking zoo this weekend !

Funny isnt it Patience my exh says he would be happy to have custody of the children,spend more time with them etc knowing full well I would never want that. Strangely enough whenever on the very odd ie about twice I asked him to take ds to football on his weekend hes nearly gone into orbit at the suggestion of the infringement of his time that he needs because of his working hours. Did I ever mention he is a very important man

Anyway Starting is right ours is a better life although it would be nice to have regular time to yourselves particularly with young dc . What will you do while they are at the Zoo ? Getting pictures Patience doing Tai Chi moves wearing a bright scar !

Am fully ok now but as a precautionary measure will disappear at 6 when he is collecting some of his stuff and the dc.

Patience I'd all that crap too & sitting at home alone night after night thinking of xh out living the high life with no ties or responsibily etc. However hard & all as it is I'd still prefer a good honest decent life with dc's 24/7 then a few hrs at zoo once a wk! Dc's grow up fast, you will have no regrets but I'm thinking your xh is going to be left with many after 21yr old has tottered along. ((Hugs))

Yes that's what keeps me going that my H's 21 yr old will get bored of him and move on.

Noah is still having problems with digestion and was on nil by mouth again yesterday

Sorry to hear that Tea, hope he's had a better day today ((Hugs))

I feel very sick and have a raging head ache, I think the last few weeks of worrying about Noah and the MIL issues and sleeping badly are catching up with me, so I may not be around much tonight. Once the DCs are in bed, I think I better roll into bed myself...

((Hugs)) Tea, hope you get a good nights sleep tonight & that headache passes. Few drops of lavender burning in house & on pillow would be good. Or any calming oil.

Nah he has no conscience Startin he will just watch Sky Sports and bitch about me ,its not his fault the marriage ended ffs!
Getting meant to say b4 difficult not to see X at handover because i cant let dcs go if he smells of drink looks drunk etc.Sundays are just going to be a bloody nitemare now he says he will have them 5hrs and then arrives back after 2 ,just wish i had never set eyes on the bloke .

Will be another waiting in the wings Startin'and Tea a narc's a narc he needs attention and anyone older wouldnt do .

What a load of crap these men come out with.

XP is trying to worm his way back home by completely pretending that nothing has happened knowing that I'm relying on him to be here for ds next week when I go away. Something has happened today which has brought things to a head but I'm delighted to tell you that I am most definitely in the driving seat. I am about to stick the metaphorical boot in and will have a few axtra goes on behalf of all you lovely ladies who have put up with worse crap than I have. I'm sorry to say that I can be extremely manipulative but I have just found out something that has infuriated me so heads will be rolling.

Sorry to sound so cryptic. I'll be back later after I've made XP and OW wish they'd never set eyes on each other. Thinking of you all. X