All Aboard The Brave Babes Battle Bus!

[Mouseface]

Hello, welcome to thread five!!

I'm Mouse and I'm 10 whole days sober which is bloody amazing given that I would normally consume nearly 90 units per week! And that's without 'special occasions'!!

So, if I can do it, you can do it! The support here is awesome, no matter where you are in your quest to quit. No judging, no cliquey groups.

We are just real, honest people. All helping each other to give up the booze. Come meet the other Brave Babes........................

And for those who would like to read the adventures so far, here are the links from the first four threads!

JWN's original thread (the reason we are all here)

Thread two

Thread three

Thread four

trinity - sounds like you have got the day planned out nicely. Enjoy those Magnums!

mouse - aw poor mouse! You sound really down. But thank god you are not hungover cos you'd feel a thousand times worse. And don't worry about feeling crap, it's not your 'job' to keep everyone else on the thread upbeat. We love you grumpy or not!

Red - thank you lovely, I know but feel bad for being flat. Will kick myself into gear in a mo. xx

Wow! What positive posts this morning!! So fab to see! TFI Friday!!!

I love the idea that ice-cream can cure the wobbles too! Must go shopping later.

I am craving Crunchies?!?

Trinity - sounds like you are making brilliant progress with the house. And life in general.

desire - thing about this thread is whether you are on day 1 or day 101 of your journey, you will not be judged. At all. You will be supported. Every step of the way.

Slipping is a great way to hlep you realise how much better sober is! Go easy on yourself. xx

Desire Don't give yourself a hard time - dust yourself off and it's a new start today

Poor Mouse! Hope you feel better soon - lack of sleep is just like a hangover, just think how worse you'd have felt if you had booze in your system too.

Maddogs - I literally cringe when I think of some of the things I've done when pissed but I'm using those incidents as part of what MIFLAW said the other day, about remembering the worst and realising that there's nothing to stop it happening again if I have a drink.

So rather now than beat myself up, I'm using the memories in a positive way instead.

If that makes sense!

at Magnumaholic - I've turned into a Fabaholic too!

'help' - doh.

NeedsTo - I know!!!! About a million times worse!!! I can't bear to think about how I used to feel.

More coffee!!

Aw, mouse, you know we love you here because you are honest and real, not because you are a fantasy cheer leader. No one promised that if we stopped drinking we'd never had a crap day again in out lives, but at least although you may feel rubbish, and just want to go to bed, at least you are not beating yourself up with shame and guilt knowing that it was all self induced.

Trinity, the sun is out here as well, which is just as well. I hung washing out yesterday and then there was a tropical monsoon fell on it for most of the afternoon (you don't get many of those in Scotland!). Everything was so wet that it was pointless bringing it in and it's been out all night (should I be ashamed of that?). Your curry sounds good. Does your friend know that you are not drinking at the moment? When you are drinking juice tonight will she be joining you, or is the kind of friend who always turns up with a couple of bottles? If so can you use your antid's as an reason for not drinking?

Moomin, as always, lovely to see you around on here.

Hello venus, lovely to see you about too! Love your posts.

Well, I have just had some good news. I 'lost' my purse the last time I drank (on Sunday), cancelled cards etc etc. Was most upset because I had quite a bit of cash in it... Well, my FiL has found it! Hurrah!! There is definitely someone/ something looking out for me when I am pissed.

venus

he's given up drinking with me to support me, we've been drinking lemonade and squaah when together

Thank you venus, very true. xx

Curry here tonight too. DH makes the most amazing chicken curry!! It's like a sweet and sour curry. I will be drinking a bottle of Becks (think it's Becks) non-alcoholic beer. Just one, topped with lemonade, in a tall pilsner glass, to combat my overwhelming urge for an ice cold beer with the curry. It works for me!! And I only need the one as I'm too full to fit anything else gassy in after!! Something I discovered when I was expecting DS!

I have also got some yummy cordial in - elderflower, raspberry and blueberry stuff...... from our local farm.

All weekend drinks are ready to go!!! Lots of juice and the odd Diet Coke as a treat!!

Coffee is working!

Good news Red.

However, not a theory you should test re the gaurdian angel!!

Absolutely not mouse!

Yay for the missing purse, Red!

Trinity - that's good of your friend to support you too.

I wish DP was as supportive - we're barely speaking and I won't pretend lack of alcohol isn't the issue

He seems resentful that I'm determined to quit - I've told him I have no problem if he wants to drink but he's being arsey and I can't be bothered with the drama.

Booze played such an integral part of our relationship so it's no wonder the dynamics are being tested here.

Still - he needs to grow up. He's piled on 3 stone due to his boozy lifestyle and I think that me stopping is highlighting his own 'issues' with drink.

That's for him to deal with - I'm not going to 'join him' just to make him feel better, that would be silly.

I'm just rambling here so ignore me - feels good to put it in writing and out of my head.

That is nice Trinity, he sounds like a good friend to have around. I hope you didn't think I was being mean to you by asking, it's just sometimes it helps to have a strategy for these occasions .

The nice thing for me this evening is that I've got hardly any cooking to do at all tonight. After my mid-week disaster with the freezer, when I had to cook up everything that was in it, I'm just going to take out something yummy for tonight. No ice-creams in, but all this chat about it is making me wonder. I think it'll be ice-cream mars bars here tonight. Yum, yum.

needsto - thanks for your honesty there. And I think that you are right regarding your stopping highlighting his 'issues'. If you don't mind me asking how old are both of you? I can relate to a lot of what you have said like being drinking buddies and the dynamics changing. It's certainly a challenge!

Hi needs to, it is good to be able to ramble on here isn't it. You are so right to be taking care of your own drinking. That is all you can do, and you are right about the dynamic changing. My dp has never been such a drinker as I have, and at times when he has decided to cut back (which he seems to manage with irritating ease) I would be so, so cross because he and I both knew that every bottle of wine that was taken from the wine rack was one that I had had, and every empty bottle in the re-cycling box was down to me. He would get up on a weekend morning bright and ready for the day, and I would stumble around looking for coffee and a bacon sandwich and unable to do anything before mid-day.

only got a mo, am off to meeting in a sec! hooray!!

mouse, i should think you do get tired, looking after your little soldier must take it out of you!

needsto - sorry to hear your dh is not very supportive, i think you are right though, he is feeling restenful because you are making him think about his drinking - stay strong!!

trinity - oooo, we are 'sorting' out dds room at the weekend, it is truly foul , she is a minky fecker and i have HAD ENOUGH!! i know it is quite usual for teenagers to be grotty, but i have pointed out that although it is her room, it is MY house and we do not live like pigs! (yep, she is sulking! nope, i dont care! )

anyway, must go and brave the rain (what the buggery happened to summer?)

back later!!

love to all!!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

L

NeedsTo

When I told DH I was quiting he told me I was being ridiculous, blowing it all out of proportion, I wasn't an alcoholic, how stupid to think that........I was just stressed, unwinding etc

The truth is, that he knows I am. He knows I can't have one or two or three drinks and then stop.

Thing is, neither can he and there in lies the problem and the reason that he is not onside. He too is an alcoholic. He cannot NOT have a drink. He feels that I am projecting my desire to quit the booze onto him. Which is not the case. I even bought him '3 for £12' bottles of red wine in the weekly shop. For him. (I hate red wine but even so, I'm not stopping him drinking)

Concentrate on you. Try not to engage in a conversation about you not, and him drinking. He resents that you are no longer his partner in crime. It will pass. Give it time. It was very frosty in this house for a while too.

DH told his best friend last night that I'm not drinking, we're going to see them on BH weekend. His wife is expecting so I'll have a juice buddy!!!

His friend was shicked but I was so proud of Dh for supporting me and telling someone, him doing that made it more real to me. Like he actually believes that I am not going to drink!!

Sorry if I have X posted with everyone!!

I'm 32 and he's 29 - but a typical Peter Pan in many ways. He's a good father, but has at times thrown his toys out of the pram if he thinks there's no booze on the cards, can get sulky.

He rewards himself with booze, he seems to have what I would call a 'high reward' system. He complains about feeling fat and miserable and yet doesn nothing about it - I think I'd have much more respect for him if he had a shred for himself

Mouse - those are exactly the things DPhas been saying to me!

I feel much better reading your post - thanks for sharing that about your DH, makes me feel less 'alone' IYSWIM.

Thanks to all of you - I couldn't have got this far without you all.

Me and DH are both 33 so pretty similar. My DH is also a bit immature! (We have no children - part of the reason is that sometimes I feel like I have a large toddler to look after anyway!! Not that he likes that when I say it..!) I am not sure whether my DH is an alcoholic or not but like everyone has been saying I have to concentrate on my problems. I can no more control his drinking than he could mine!

'shocked' not shicked!!

NeedsTo

When your DP drinks and you don't, you will notice his 'behaviour' more so.

The way he changes as the alcohol takes affect. DH can get on my nerves at times. He gets all 'Billy Big Boots' and fiesty.

Last night I went to bed for fear of smashing him over the head with the Yellow Pages!!! Not helped by my hormentals and I would never actually hit him but dear God, he tested my resolve last night.

Another thing is, you may notice DP having 'one last drink', squeezing one more in before bed, downing them faster as the night goes on.........

I notice lots more now I am sober. Not all of it good but I am willing to work at it. I need to adjust my attitude too. Resenting DH for drinking is just as bad as him resenting me for not.

Two way street!! And I am sure there are times he'd happily throttle me when I am PMT'd to the max!!!!

I guess what I am saying is, don't expect everything to be 'ok' now you have quit the booze. There is no magic wand. Just take things a day at a time.

And keep posting. Letting it out here is better than bottling it up and snapping at your DP.

I agree with what mouse has said! Especially watching the change in behaviour. God, I hate the repeated stories!! (In AA we are always laughing about the fact we are so hypocritical... Bored by people blethering on, horrified by people drinking early in the day etc It's hilarious really!)

Sorry if this is nosy, Moomin but how did you end up on mumsnet if you don't have any children? (Not meaning in any way that you shouldn't be, just genuinely curious, don't answer if you don't want to)

Not a problem! I used to read in the papers about how awful MN was, full of posh women having a go at each other, wearing Boden while they did it! So I thought it sounded funny! Looked it up and found that a lot of the stuff on here is not necessarily to do with having children and was extremely interesting. (And that it was not as portrayed elsewhere.) Lurked for quite a while - just dipping in and out - and then came across JWN's first thread and that was it. I was in! (I would love to have children some day so hopefully I will find even more of MN useful in the future.)

Hope that makes sense!