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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

All Aboard The Brave Babes Battle Bus!

998 replies

Mouseface · 12/08/2010 10:09

Hello, welcome to thread five!! Smile

I'm Mouse and I'm 10 whole days sober which is bloody amazing given that I would normally consume nearly 90 units per week! And that's without 'special occasions'!! Shock

So, if I can do it, you can do it! The support here is awesome, no matter where you are in your quest to quit. No judging, no cliquey groups.

We are just real, honest people. All helping each other to give up the booze. Come meet the other Brave Babes........................

And for those who would like to read the adventures so far, here are the links from the first four threads!

JWN's original thread (the reason we are all here)

Thread two

Thread three

Thread four

OP posts:
jesuswhatnext · 16/08/2010 11:55

yep, flirty mood here, just found myself flirting with nexts doors gardener, about 22 and yummy, wish it was hot enough for bare chested gardening! Wink ooooo young man!!! Grin

RedMoomin · 16/08/2010 11:57

Thanks for that MIFLAW. I am keeping up my 4 a week and to be honest that feels like a minimum for me at the moment. If I had a car and the meetings were more accesible to me I would probably go to more - I love them, it's not chore and they help to keep me sober ODAAT!

MIFLAW · 16/08/2010 12:15

When I started taking AA seriously I gave "90 in 90" my best shot - and that was without a car (because I was banned) and outside London (in East and West Kent.) I think I managed 78 meetings in 90 days ...

A very good rule of thumb is "go to a meeting unless you have a good reason not to." So, for example, bad weather or a big football match are NOT good reasons not to go - unless bad weather and football ever kept you away from the off-licence.

MIFLAW · 16/08/2010 12:23

Christi

Good luck for day one.

And don't feel you need to apologise for drinking - it is only you that suffers. You certainly aren't "selling the dream" to other people who may be vulnerable!

Do this for you, take it as seriously as it is taking you, and you will make it.

RedMoomin · 16/08/2010 12:43

Thanks again MIFLAW. It's fairly rural where I live so public transport is a bit hit and miss. I did try to do 5 a week but with the full time job and travelling I was knackered so 4 feels about right at the moment! My football team were playing on Friday night on Sky but I still went to my meeting. I knew what was more important to me!

MIFLAW · 16/08/2010 13:05

Red

Not meant as a criticism of you - but I know some people are horrified by the thought of going more than once a week, or even going every night - conveniently forgetting that they spent far more than 90 minutes drinking a night, far more often than once a week ...

RedMoomin · 16/08/2010 13:16

Didn't think you were MIFLAW, promise. I know what you mean. I think a lot of people think that it's one meeting a week (or even just one meeting ever, ha ha!) and it's all fine. Personally I start to feel 'edgy' if it's been a while.

MIFLAW · 16/08/2010 13:51

True.

That said, when AA started under that name, there were three AA groups in the whole of America and none anywhere else so I imagine quite a lot of people initially got by with not many meetings ... It's more about commitment, I think, which in turn comes from a recognition of what you are and the consequences of not acting and taking it seriously. Regular attendance at meetings is, in this day and age, just a manifestation of that.

desiretochange · 16/08/2010 14:37

Head well and truly hanging in shame here, went on a bender on Friday night which resulted in having my purse stolen. Am so disgusted with myself.

RedMoomin · 16/08/2010 14:41

Quite quiet around here today... hope that's a good sign! No news is good news and all that!

Things I am grateful for today:

  • the sun is shining
  • busy at work so the day is flying
  • DH is making sausages, chips and peas for dinner (have you noticed that I am always grateful for something food-based?! Also sausage and chips is hardly flash!)
  • going to one of my favourite meetings tonight
  • I have a good book to read when I get in
  • I have just eaten some Fruit and Nut (see! Food again!)
  • I have no hangover
  • I am sober today

If anyone else fancies posting the same that's great. If not, no worries, I actually find it a really good exercise!

Smile
RedMoomin · 16/08/2010 14:44

Hello desire,

Sorry to hear you are feeling so low. I was always having bags/ phones/ purses stolen when I was drunk!

Don't hang your head in shame. No point in beating yourself up - just makes you more likely to have another drink.

Pick yourself, brush yourself down and be gentle to yourself x

RedMoomin · 16/08/2010 14:45

*Pick yourself UP! Oops x

venusandmars · 16/08/2010 15:31

hello desire, yup that's scary isn't it. Well done for coming back on here and telling us about it. You know that we have all had similar shameful feelings. What was the rest of the weekend like? Did you feel shameful and crap and think you might as well carry on drinking since you were rubbish anyway, or did you think 'fuck, I've screwed up one night, and tomorrow is another day'?

Either way you are back on here, so I assume that you want to not have a drink today. That's great. You can do it. As moomin said, be good and kind and gentle to yourself.

MIFLAW · 16/08/2010 15:32

Desire

No need to be ashamed - you made an informed choice and only you will suffer from the consequences. By the sounds of it, that is now allowing you to make a different informed choice.

Have you considered why you didn't just stop after two drinks?

desiretochange · 16/08/2010 15:38

Things I am grateful for today:

My daughter is home safe from her holidays
I have a roof over my head (not a very tidy roof but still a roof:)
I have a job
I have a new book to read
I am starting an exercise dvd with my friend this evening instead of drinking a bottle of wine

TrinityRhino · 16/08/2010 15:42

I've got three lovely girs
I had the love of a great man for ten years
I have a secure roof over our heads
I have my health
My kids have there health
We have food, clean water and warmth.

RedMoomin · 16/08/2010 15:42

Lots to be grateful for there desire and it's great that you have got something planned for tonight!

RedMoomin · 16/08/2010 15:47

I love seeing what people are grateful for - it really does remind me of all the things I have. (Hi Trinity!)

venusandmars · 16/08/2010 15:48

One night I was on my way home from a 'night out' with a friend. You can imagine the state I was in.

On my way to the bus-stop I passed a homeless guy, probably an alky, and stopped to give him some money and to chat to him and his dog (oh yes, I had delusions of being bloody lady bountiful!). When I had chatted for a bit, I got up to head for my bus and he and his dog walked with me to keep me safe (it was a very public and non-dangerous place). We carried on chatting while I waited and then as the bus came, I went to get my purse out and it was gone Shock.

I called the guy on it, called him a fucking theiving fucker (or something similarly sweet and lady bountiful-like). He denied it of course, but within the next 10 seconds, as the bus drew nearer, my purse was back in my bag, where it had not been before. He then insisted on paying my bus fare home.

I was really shaken by the experience. I nearly lost my purse and several credit cards, and then my bus fare was paid by a homeless guy that I had stopped to help. It was a big kick in helping to start me on this route of being sober and staying sober.

Desire use the strength in your feeling of disgust to strengthen your resolve. Welcome back on the bus.

desiretochange · 16/08/2010 15:53

If I'm honest I didn't stop after two drinks because I wanted more, no other reason:(
I woke early on Saturday morning and spent the best part of two hours wandering round and sitting in the park just crying.

RedMoomin · 16/08/2010 15:56

venus - that story has been me feel really uncomfortable for some reason... almost put a shiver down my spine!

I also used to stop to talk to homeless alcoholics when I was pissed (mainly they were too). I always had the feeling of, 'There but for the grace of God..' Even when I did not think/ realise that I was an alcoholic.

venusandmars · 16/08/2010 15:56

I am grateful because.....

I have recognised my problem before I fucked up totally and lost everything
I have 2 lovely and wonderful dds
My dp is coming home tomorrow Grin Wink Blush
As I sit here on my laptop, I can see the sea and watch the tide come in and go out.

Best of all... there are a group of other people on here who make me feel that I can be honest about my drinking, about the terrible places it has taken me to, that I can support, and who support me more than they proabably realise.

RedMoomin · 16/08/2010 16:05

venus - that was a lovely post. And great news that your DP is nearly back!!

venusandmars · 16/08/2010 16:10

moomin, it makes me uncomfortable too, and took quite a lot to write it. It's like my drinking character in micro-focus:

  • joyful drunkeness with friend
  • delusions of grandeuer and invulnerablity / indestructablity
  • risk taking behaviour
  • potential for terrible consequences
  • waking up and realising what the risks were
  • hangover and recovery
  • repeat
RedMoomin · 16/08/2010 16:14

Yes, I totally agree venus. Ugh. Just basic insanity.