Fab & Glam 11 - A New Chapter

[Tanee58]

I figure that the reason I haven't been able to post all day, is because we've run out of thread - again!! Hope you all find this, my fellow Teabags. Are contenders for the longest-running MN thread?

Anyhoo, TFM, I have a tent, and an inflatable mattress. And I quite fancy a trip oop north!

Dior - congrats on getting your design published Great confidence boost I've been getting into beads lately. I like glossy or faceted ones like Lola Rose but the range is quite limited. Can you recommend any similar brands?

Ginnny - new man sounds lovely. Don't stress - just chill and take it slowly

HW - hope your cold goes soon. I think marriages have their hot and cold phases and maybe you're in a cold phase right now. I agree that having your own interests/work will be good for you - ergo your marriage.
How's your ds doing?

Tanee - I think your dp is doing a blinding job of distracting you from the task at hand He is soooooo hoping you've forgotten about the ultimatum you gave him............have you?

Bum - Thursday is the day that I take two meetings . Could you do the Friday or Saturday? If so, I will be there with bells on!

LadyLush - The main sites that I use are Robin's Beads, The Bead Merchant, Jilly Beads and Tiddly Beads - there are others but those are ones that I really trust. Have a look on them and see what you think.

Beaders are taking over the world!

Oh sorry Dior - I meant the finished article Far too lazy to make my own.

dior
That is how i feel
I want to trust but really cant be arsed at the moment
i know i am low and just want to heal myself - i am finding h a bit of chore at the moment tbh. And h who keeps asking what he can do really is not helping. Somethimes i just want him to go away and leave me to figure it all out alone.

There is nothing really 'wrong' as such and i do enjoy his company but i think i want the firerworks too iyswim.

But in myself i am well - well i will be after the cold clears up and i am hoping to get fit again and hopefully start running again soon.

HW - I do understand how much harder it must be to forgive an affair. I would probably 'bear a grudge' (copyright my H) for the rest of my life and never trust another man again!

My h has never done anything physically wrong (i.e. an affair), but the mental hurt has somehow made me lose all feeling for him. I just feel shrivelled up inside. I don't know if the feelings can come back, although I know that I have NEVER had that rosy glow of being in love with him.

I feel like I am stuck in a place where it is 'better the devil you know' and that it is better for me to be miserable for the rest of my life than upset the status quo for everyone else.

Yeah thats how feel better the devil. Just can i do it for the rest of my life???
maybe it is just a blip - certainly the looming winter months dont help with that.
I think i have changed more than my h has and we neither the people we were before iyswim.
Leaving him wont make me suddenly trust anyone again will it? I do trust myself now though and wont ever go through that again - however the reality is i dont think i will feel that flush of pure love again either .

Are we going to be good company if we do meet .

bumping so I don't lose you

HW - of course we will. I am always excellent company

just to let you know not feeling so gloom and doom today.

I do have a good life and good friends and i am determined to damm well enjoy my life without hurting or upsetting others .

H still a bit down about looming redundancy but i cant worry for him too . He will survive he just hates not being in control.

Yay, glad you feel brighter. I do too. I have had horrendous PMT in the last week!

I am going to plot my moods and anything else i think might be pmt related as i do think there is a pattern emerging with me.

Oh God PMT. I've had it worse than ever since my periods returned post bf dd. I think I'll have to see the GP if they continue.

HW - could this be the menopause coming?

Embrace the menopause, I say. I couldn't really tell you what it felt like because it must have sort of happened while everything else in my life was undergoing major upheaval, so mood swings etc only to be expected. Out the other side (at least I seem to be) it's just like being the usual me, but without periods. 'Tis good.

Annie - I almost can't wait! I have had enough of periods now, nearly 30 years. I don't want any more children - why can't we have a button to switch off? Come on evolution, get working on it!

Hi Just a quick catch up from me!
Finally got rid of every last trace of that drunken scumbag at the weekend.
He has found out about NM and gone apeshit, as predicted. He has been abusive and hateful and even resorted to trying to get the kids on side, using full on emotional blackmail, to the point where they were both in tears
I have cut all ties and I refuse to have anything to do with him again. Now he is playing the victim card, and telling people I cheated on him
I am soooooo happy with my lovely new boyfriend. He is everything XP isn't and the more I see of him the more I like him. He seems to feel the same way about me too and I know its early days but all the signs are looking good!!!
Hope you are all OK - Givenchy and HW I agree - bring on the menopause, just make it as quick and painless as possible!!!

Ginnny, good for you. What a scumbag he's showing himself to be and how excellent it is, that you've got someone new and nice.

HW we will be VERY good company if we meet up! Much better, in fact, than our respective partners!

Aah, Menopause. I'm loving it. Had it twice, once during chemo, which wasn't much fun, hot flushes and all, and then again a few years ago, happened very seamlessly. I was so happy when I felt I could finally throw my diaphragm into the bin!

Lush, oh yes, DP's doing a blinding job - but I have not forgotten - just finding it very hard to raise the subject again, when he's being nice and happy. However, he hit the bottle fairly hard last night, and kept out of my way. When he did decide to join me, he started getting very uppity about the existence of ghosts (I was reading Her Fearful Symmetry) and I just had to go to bed. He's the ultimate sceptic and can be quite annoying about it when he's in his cups.

Dior, not sure I'll be able to go to Ally Pally at all this year - have just realised I have to work Thurs/Fri that week to cover someone's holiday leave and am probs out on Saturday. Bums

Oh, never mind. We must do that lunch though x

yes i do think it is the menopause!!

I suppose because i have had such a breeze with all other womanly things - sailed through teenage years with few spots etc - only had light periods and always late!
no problems with conceiving, pregnancy or childbirth.

I think mother nature says its my turn for a rough time . will try and grin and bear it i suppose .

Ooh, so I'm in for a breeze when the menopause finally hits then. Yay!

Is there anybody out there...?...

OK Dior & HW (and anyone else who can make it?) I have been told that I have to take 9 days hols before the end of the year, or lose them. So let's name a Monday soon and I'll book it off. We need to do lunch and celebrate your coming birthdays.

Things here taking an interesting turn (again) - since DP's seemed much better, I told him we needed to talk on Tuesday, prepared myself lots of notes since I'm such crap at it, with spider diagrams of how I felt, then possible outcome 1 (split up) with its pros and cons, and possible outcome 2 (get counselling/alcohol treatment) with pros and cons. How organised am I ? Also, by coincidence, found a poem I wrote a couple of years back, about his drinking. I thought it was lost, but it turned up in a knitting book that I was reading over my morning tea! Gave the lot to him when he came home from work, he read through them quietly, said the poem was really good and really sad, and has agreed that we should try counselling. Talked about AA, which he isn't sure about, but he hasn't ruled it out, and the local Alcohol Advice services. We've now downloaded a list of local counsellors & will contact the ones who sound reasonably experienced and not too airy fairy. Anyone got advice on what to look for?

The great thing is, he said he too feels we should talk more and he was responsive - at last! Fingers crossed, but I need to keep up the momentum.

Tanee - sorry not possible to make a date just yet

H could be out of a job soon.

We are due to go on holiday in half term but his work have said IF he gets a job he may need to help with interviews - so now we are not even sure if we are going away.

Hopefully will know next week so will be able to let you know a bit more then.

Very stressful at home as you can imagine and i dare not spend anything - i wonder if h is stringing this out .
Well you have to smile dont you??

Sorry to hear about your H's job HW. Hope he sorts it all out.
Tannee - Good to hear he is finally admitting that he needs some help, even if it is couples counselling it might give him the push he needs. I've always thought that your DP's problem is not necessarily the drink, that is a smokescreen for other issues he has, so if he has counselling for those you might find that he doesn't need to drink as much.
I would be up for a Monday trip up to town if one is being arranged, just as long as I can get someone to do the school run for me.
I'm still very happy with my NM. Ex DP is trying his hardest to make life hard for us, he slashed NM's tyre this week. Its pathetic. I'm so glad I'm free of his warped mind games, I can't believe I put up with him for 5 years. Being with someone 'normal' has really made me realise how crap my relationship with XP was.
Hope everyone else is OK
x

HW - what a worry! Hope it works out. These are not good times. DP's worried too as agency staff are being reduced. Maybe we should meet for lunch when we feel more secure about life.

Yes, Ginnny, it's good, but I'm not counting my chickens. However, I think reading my spider diagrams showed him just how serious I was and how much his behaviour's affected DD and me. It's all there in black and white, so he can't ignore it or forget it. He SAYS he loves me - now's his chance to SHOW it.

Hi to everyone else.