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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

brave battling babes get even better without the booze!

994 replies

jesuswhatnext · 08/08/2010 15:27

10 weeks ago i started a thread asking for help - i was in a very desperate place, totally dependent on alchohol, unhappy, lonely and floundering around trying to make sense of it all. i was in danger of losing everything i hold dear.

in those few short weeks, i have got my life back and picked up a few computer friends along the way - we help each other, support each other, and laugh and cry together - if you would like to join us, please feel free - no judging, preaching, sermonising or moralising - we are simply ordinary people with a bloody awful illness!

OP posts:
badabingo · 09/08/2010 10:14

Hello, hope you don't mind if I join in?

I could do with being a bit more honest with myself, before it gets too bad again.

I used to drink far, far too much and stopped. Just stopped cold, even though it was beyond hard. I did that because one night after drinking a bottle and a half of wine, I dropped my baby when I was picking him up from the cot. Not far and he wasn?t hurt, but it shocked me into actually recognising that I was in trouble. That was about 2 years ago.

But I'm slipping up or relapsing. I've got a hangover this morning after drinking way too much again last night ? almost 2 bottles of wine. There, I said it.

God, that?s scary to see it written down. I?ve got all these stupid rules. No drinking between Monday and Saturday, no drinking before 7.30pm, no this and no bloody that.

But that's the point, isn?t it? People with a normal relationship with alcohol don?t need all these rules. They just either drink or they don't. So it's time to stop again. No drinking at the weekend, anymore. I'm fine all week and then on Saturday, I?m like wheeee! But it's been going on for about 3 months now if I?m being truthful with myself, which I haven?t been. And it needs to stop, because I can?t go back to how it was before. I really, really can?t go back there. I can't bear having a hangover and being depressed and teaful and frightened again.

So I will lurk and read and draw strength from how you are all doing it, and come this weekend, I will just carry on with what I?ve been doing all week and not drink. That?s the plan, anyway.

Thanks for letting me get it out. You really are all inspirational?.

Mouseface · 09/08/2010 10:16

Red - aw babe. Bless your heart. I still find it quite Shock when one of us posts that they have had a drink. We are all so strong and have risen above the beast and then BAM! it's like the rug has been pulled from under us and we go way back down again!!

You aren't the first and won't be the last but keep posting Red, I'm around this morning. xx

NeedTo and Fluxy3 - WELCOME ON BOARD THE BRAVE BABES WAGON!!!

Gloup - hello again and yay for day 4!

Trinity - well done on meal planning!! I am one of the crazy 'Shredders' and eat so little shite since I stopped the booze! Not lost any weight though!! Hmm

Christie - hello lovely, have you called the recruitment chap yet? And did I read that he is a 'Head Hunter' - - if so, surely, the job is yours? Confused

algee - hello! Lovely to see you posting again!

MissPerrier · 09/08/2010 10:17

Venus you are wise and wonderful computer fairy. Smile

Mouseface · 09/08/2010 10:18
Blush

Badabingo - welcome to you too!!

RedMoomin · 09/08/2010 10:19

Welcome to you bada! Sounds like you are in the right place here. You are so right that 'normal' people do not have to put rules and regulations in place re alcohol.

I am also hungover today. I was full of self-pity when I started posting this morning but I am putting it behind me now. Or else I will leave here at 12.30 and perhaps start drinking again. Which I am NOT doing.

RedMoomin · 09/08/2010 10:21

Thank you mouse. Feeling lots better from all my hugs this morning!

RedMoomin · 09/08/2010 10:24

I have spied MIFLAW on the old thread. He's probably catching up as we speak!! Feel like a total stalker but never mind!

venusandmars · 09/08/2010 10:26

Moomin, I heard someone describe a slip, as the kind of slip you would have if you fell of an icy ridge on mount everest - you might not stop after a couple of feet, and then it would be a long way down.

RedMoomin · 09/08/2010 10:28

venus - that's a good way of thinking of a slip. Terrifying isn't it?

badabingo · 09/08/2010 10:29

Thanks, guys.

Am feeling full of self loathing and having my own private little pity party in my head, but actually I KNOW that's the alcohol still in my system - it's such an effective depressant.

This is the easy bit, because I feel rubbish and so full of resolve but I know that by next Saturday, I'll be all "what exactly is the problem? Just have a glass of wine" Angry

Could anyone tell me again that bit about seeing the movie through to the end? I read it on an earlier thread and it really resonated with me...

algee · 09/08/2010 10:30

i'm so sorry everybiody, loads of new poeople to say hello to, Trinity I know you're feeling shit, and loads of posts from others already , but moomin...feel your pain (re alchohol at least). So sorry you're having such a sorry time with dh too. Stupid question to ask why you picked up? I'm certainly not asking 'cos I thinkj you should have been able to fight it, you all know that! I can totally empathise. It is crap, it isn't enjoyable, it makes all the bad things worse....but it is SO STRONG! Glad you posted and didn't try to wimp like I did. Today is a fresh one for all of us, but I'm metaphorically holding your hand especially today. Ypou have been more help to me than you can know, and even when I'm old(er) and wrinkly(er) your name will ne in my heart as one of my fabulous computer fairies. Be kind to yourself. Sort you and dh out!.

TAking dd out to the park now, so no doubt there'll be a million posts again when I get back, but thinking of you all...

algee · 09/08/2010 10:33

Hate 'ignoring' people, but I'm in such a dash. Sorry.

RedMoomin · 09/08/2010 10:33

Thanks algee - that was lovely! And thank you for holding my hand today. In the words of JWN - TODAY I WILL NOT BE DRINKING!

bada - the only thing I can think of is not to project to Saturday. Live in the day and concntrate on staying sober one day at a time.

Fortheverylasttime · 09/08/2010 10:35

10 10:33:42
rational.org/index.php?id=1

Why can't I do links?

Would someone else copy the last to for all concerned, please?

SMART recovery
Rational Recovery

Thanks
(Stop beating yourselves up!!)

venusandmars · 09/08/2010 10:35

Hi mouse, you post about the mouse-hug really made me smile Smile. You sound very bright and cheerful this morning.

Hi bada, and nice to see you. Don't worry yet about the weekend, just keep coming on here and get used to focusing on not drinking today. Then perhaps by Saturday you continue that for a but longer.

venusandmars · 09/08/2010 10:39

Algee lovely to see you.

Moomin, I was going to ask what you were going to do about this afternoon, so I am very glad to read that you are feeling more resolved not to drink. Keep focussed on your meeting tonight, knowing that when you go, your fuck-up will have been yesterday, not today.

Mouseface · 09/08/2010 10:41

Forthe

I'll do them here too, have just done them on the last thread......

Hang on.......

maddogsandenglishmen · 09/08/2010 10:42

Morning all, just a quickie as I am at work and shouldn't really be on mumsnet at all Shock No way i can reply to all of you, apologies.

thanks so much for the welcome last night. Now Day 4. Back at work after 2 week holiday so feeling a bit blah. Had to give myself a serious talking to last night as I was starting to get the "you really don't drink that much, it's not that bad" and "you're just making a big deal out of nothing" voices in my head again. Yeah, right, no big deal that I am putting my baby at risk along with all the other shitty things I have done when drinking :(

Trinity - so sorry to hear that you are feeling down and crap. Glad that this thread is here for you (and me).

RedMoomin - Today is a new day. I hope you can put it behind you focus on today. It's the only thing you can do. My relationship with my DH started (and continued for many years) with us as drinking buddies as well. Now that neither of us drink much (he had liver problems last year), we don't really know what to do with each other. We also seem to need to be pissed to have sex (way TMI!) so things also totally "dried up" in that department too :(

Jesus and Venus - thanks for your continuing inspiration and empathy

Fortheverylast - Fascinated and Shock to read what you posted about John Coats, as I have just spent the weekend re-reading "No Big Deal". Massive kudos to him for being so honest.

Hi to everyone else...
Must must go!

Mouseface · 09/08/2010 10:43

Rational Recovery is here

Smart Recovery is here

Smile
MissPerrier · 09/08/2010 10:43

Its been a busy morning on here. I off to Dentist now as I have had a raging head/toothache all weekend. I am sacared!! Keep strong lovely babes Smile

RedMoomin · 09/08/2010 10:43

Definitely won't be drinking this afternoon. I think that I might just take to my bed and read a book. The shakes are a little bit on me at the moment and I would rather hide in my bed until they pass!

venusandmars · 09/08/2010 10:44

Maddogs, your phrase "Jesus and Venus" sounds like a very bad swear word!

RedMoomin · 09/08/2010 10:46

Thanks for that Maddogs - and thanks for your honesty re you and your DH. I think before I can tackle the issues in my marriage I need to get some sobriety first of all and then take it from there.

RedMoomin · 09/08/2010 10:48
Fortheverylasttime · 09/08/2010 10:51

Would anyone like me to link (or fail to link)to a piece in yesterday's Washington Post on the subject of recovery??

Or would Moomin like to tell me what the hell I am doing wrong? I highlight it, I copy, I paste. What is the trick??

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