brave battling babes get even better without the booze!

[jesuswhatnext]

10 weeks ago i started a thread asking for help - i was in a very desperate place, totally dependent on alchohol, unhappy, lonely and floundering around trying to make sense of it all. i was in danger of losing everything i hold dear.

in those few short weeks, i have got my life back and picked up a few computer friends along the way - we help each other, support each other, and laugh and cry together - if you would like to join us, please feel free - no judging, preaching, sermonising or moralising - we are simply ordinary people with a bloody awful illness!

That's great that you have made an appt with your GP. My GP has been wonderful with the whole booze/ depression thing.

I am extremely grateful that I am not hungover today. Today I managed to get up early enough to do my hair and make-up so I don't look a state at work. (Probably my colleagues are grateful about that !)

Red - I'm not telling her about the drinking just the anxiety.

Bet you look lovely - I'm back at work in 4 weeks after mat leave, must start thinking about work clothes.

toclear - I would never have wanted to tell the doctor about my drinking! However the choice was taken from me when my poor, long-suffering mother dragged me to the surgery when I was pissed and again. Truly mortifying but it kind of got me to face up to the problem! (Obviously still struggling with it!)

toclear - just re-read my post and realised like it might sound as if I think you should tell your doctor. Didn't mean that at all! Was just saying what my experience had been. Hope that makes sense!

Morning!!

venus - Nightmare re the freezer!!! Poor you. Food pans sound yum though, must have breakfast.

Christi - Stop feeling embarrassed - stab in the dark at the french - I'm glad to see you here this morning.

Red - Still a bit queasy and sore...... I'd like to be a man for a few days each month if no-one minds!

NeedsTo - Weird dream central hey? Me too!!! Very vivid, horrid at times but I can almost feel things and taste things! I woke up last night thinking I was in labour (my friend is in slow labour) and sceamed aloud for 'drugs'!!!!

Well done to all those who are still going strong. Day 10 here for me!!

Trinity - hope you are ok.

Have emailed you Christi / CTS (I hope).

Morning mouse,

Hope the nausea etc lifts soon! )I have sent you an email by the way.)

I tend to have really vivid dreams too when I am 'sober'. Not sure whether dreams were always like this but due to my sleep actually being a coma I was not aware of them?! Look out for the drinking dreams - they are awful! Although the relief when you wake up and finally realise that you have not had any alcohol is wonderful!

Bonjour tout les monde! Glad everyone is ok today. Sorry I missed you before you left Algee, see you when you get back. Hope Trinity is ok and around.

Toclear - I also suffer from anxiety and depression. Chicken and egg thing - does the anxiety lead us to drink or does the drinking lead to the anxiety - vicious circle. Hope your GP is sympathetic and helpful. Mine in the UK was LOVELY.

Venus - I hate cooking so your day sounds like hell! The food sounds yummy though.

Christi - glad you are feeling a little better today. I have sort of been where you are looking for a job after time away, over-qualified for everything I applied for but without the experience for the jobs matching my qualifications. It is horrible and hard and makes you feel so desperate. The happy ending for me was that after months and months of Nothing, I was offered three jobs on the same day. It's like waiting for the bus! It is SO difficult to stay positive in that situation, but THIS TOO SHALL PASS one day.

Jesus - thanks for your kind comment last night, which I read this morning and it made me cry (the one about me needing a rest, I don't know if you remember). I had agreed with work to reduce to 80% but DH who is a full time layabout student persuaded me to keep going 100% until my mat leave so I get full pay through for the full 16 weeks. His logic was sensible and sound but I'm finding it somehow harder now knowing I COULD be 80% but not and I resent him slightly. OK, a lot.

I am finding that I feel really well and happy until around 3 in the afternoon and then I crash into a horrible pit of despair until I go to bed Any suggestions?

Very grateful to be on Day 6 and I will not be drinking today.

What are food 'pans'???? Plans!!! Doh!!

Thanks Red - got it and replied. xx

Thank you venus - received and replying shortly - quick announcement venus is really really lovely and kind, tres sympathetique.

Thanks to maddogs too, iI feel so frustrated and desperate.

Christi

Pas besoin d'un subjonctif apres le verbe "esperer."

C'est la vie.

morning all!!

just caught up with it all!, it seems to me that we are all suffering some form of A&D, i have been on fluxotine for the last 3 years! there simply must be a connection re the drinking, we cant ALL not be affected in some way. i bet we all have low b12 counts.

venus - what time do want us all round for dinner? shall i bring a pudding!?

mange tout, mange tout! me petit fillies!!

see, i can do lingo too!

Take calcium. I heard something on R4 yesterday (on the ethics committee) and a woman had drunk copiously in her thirties, and in her 50s, she had awful osteporosis, due to calcium deficiency. The depressing story behind it was that she now wanted to commit suicide and not be revived. Not vary cheery, but I think the liver damage aspect is well-known, but not other side-effects. It is a drug, and I think most drugs have side-effects. I am in favour of listing all of the side-effects on the labelling. Not to stop anyone drinking but to make them have no excuse for being surprised about longer term effects.

A friend of mine has just stopped smoking by reading the Stanton Peele website, because she said she had always thought it was a physical addiction and suddenly realised it was psychological. She wasn't even trying to stop smoking, she just said something clicked in her head. Stanton Peele doesn't even specialise in smoking, he specialises in addictions in general.

Christi

Reading thread backwards here - I studied modern languages at Oxford (managed to drop that fact in again there.)

I ended up a shelf-stacker at my local Safeway.

and I wasn't even a very good shelf-stacker.

And I envied the blokes with learning difficulties who got to go out in all weathers to collect trollies because I thought I could work a job like that to allow me to nip into the pub every now and then.

So I understand all about

"Why was I shown so much when I was younger about how much I oculd achieve and now It all just falls apart and I can't see a way forward I can't even see my future i have nothing to look forward to and ntohing to strive for and no-one even wants to emply me and it is hideous and i've always meant well and worked hard but it comes to nothing"

In sobriety I have retrained and am a chartered accountant in the public sector (and a qualified TEFL teacher too, but that's another story.)

Good morning maddogs!

I am not sure about the 3pm blues. Is there something else you can do to distract yourself at that time?

I always talk about the chicken/ egg thing when it comes to my depression/ drinking too. I have no idea which came first (drinking because I am depressed or depressed because I am drinking?!) For me it doesn't actually matter anymore. I am an alcoholic and if I deal with that then I believe the depression will lift too. Just my thoughts on my personal situation.

christi - lovely what you said about venus

morning moomin - i agree about the depression thing, i feel so much better already, it must be something to do with not pouring a depressant down my throat everyday!

JWN - morning to you too! And yes, you are so right about pouring a depressant down our necks! When I am not drinking it gives my ADs a chance to actually work!

MIFLAW, can you do some Russian? Make an old woman very happy.

Moomin - "I always talk about the chicken/ egg thing when it comes to my depression/ drinking too. I have no idea which came first (drinking because I am depressed or depressed because I am drinking?!) For me it doesn't actually matter anymore. I am an alcoholic and if I deal with that then I believe the depression will lift too. Just my thoughts on my personal situation." that's a really good way to look at it. I have a tendency to over-analyse so i like your attitude that it doesn't matter which came first, let's just interrupt the cycle.

I think 3pm is just the limit of my endurance for sitting at desk being bored, but knowing I still have 3 hours to go before I will be home. Today i will take a break and walk to the shop for fresh air and a healthy(ish) snack. maybe that will help.

at JWN and her Del Boy french!!!

Christi - venus is truly wonderful, what a lovely post.

I take a mega B vitamin and find it helps with my swings.

MIFLAW - did you go to Oxford?

casually drops into the conversation that she went to Oxford too.

Oh god sorry, didn't mean that to be bold!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not so casually after all! will go and have my lunch now...

:o Maddogs - that was very casual!