brave battling babes get even better without the booze!

[jesuswhatnext]

10 weeks ago i started a thread asking for help - i was in a very desperate place, totally dependent on alchohol, unhappy, lonely and floundering around trying to make sense of it all. i was in danger of losing everything i hold dear.

in those few short weeks, i have got my life back and picked up a few computer friends along the way - we help each other, support each other, and laugh and cry together - if you would like to join us, please feel free - no judging, preaching, sermonising or moralising - we are simply ordinary people with a bloody awful illness!

Mornin g all. Hope all hangovers are helpful this morning...Have fun with mil venus, wasindie, hello, and hello to everyone.

I'll not be here much today, hope moomin makes it back, and ghope you're well moomin.

See you later...at this rate on a whole fresh thread!!

Day whatever for me (think it is 6)...but whwtever, it's going to be sober.

Morning everyone... tired and a bit groggy cause I couldn't sleep, but not hungover which is lovely!

My drinking was getting to the point where I would collapse into bed, having drunkenly eaten something from the fridge, and not remember how I got there... I literally blacked out. This is usually after 2 bottles of wine...
Every other morning I would hate my self (again) for having too much to drink and (once again) look on AA website. Of course I would never go to a meeting because "I don't have a problem with alcohol"......
I now realise I DO have a problem and that I can't sleep 'cos my sleeping habits are knackered from years of drinking too much....
I'll need to be extra busy today so that I'll be tired tonight..... more cleaning on the cards for me then!

Have a good day everyone. x

Little steps...

Morning.

Special hello to all those who struggled last night and all the lovely fairies who helped.

Sorry for last night but been thinking. If this thread wasn't here there is no way on earth I would have stopped. Came on to see how Trinity was and read poor Venus trying so hard to help from wherever she is, although she's facing her own battles and it made me put down that bottle.

It was a slip but has actually shown me I can do this.

Daaaay 1.

Today we will not be drinking.

PS. Will try not to be so crap again (can you tell I can be a maudlin drunk?!!)

Morning. I have a job for you guys. I need you to think of some kind of job I could do. I have a degree in philosophy, and a Chartered Financial Analyst, keen cook, and pretty creative.

hello fluxy, hello toclear...trying to get in my 'individual' hellos before my friend arrives with her dc, and before the thread goes bonkers mcschmonkers again...at which point I just can't keep up.

This will be my last day on here for a while too...hoping somebody will be around thisevening to help me with my battle plan for the rest of the week!

Morning fairies,

Bloody hell - it all went off last night. I hope that everyone is doing OK. Well done to everyone who stayed sober and to those that didn't... it's another day today. Now on Day 2 myself - got to a meeting last night and feel so much better for it. I am 100% better than yesterday. I didn't actually drink that much when I 'slipped' so the physical effects have gone. Although I am starving and could eat the whole world given half a chance!! I am feeling focused and ready to go. Yeah, I fucked up over the weekend but it's over now. Onwards!

Had a really good chat with dh last night so things are looking good there. He is going to try to stay off the booze too - just for a bit of support for me. Although he's a heavy drinker he does seem to have an off switch and knows when he has had 'enough'. (WTF is that about?! Ha ha!)

All aboard the Battle Bus for another day. Love and hugs to all!!

Is everyone still recovering from everything last night?! I read all the posts and every one of them meant something to me but a special mention to trinity. Christ I cannot imagine how tough things are for you. Your posts were so raw and honest. Thinking of you today trinity.

Good morning fairies. I'm feeling happy today my toothache has been drilled into submission. So life... bring it on! Fairy hugs to you all.

Hello MissP,

Glad your tooth is better! I read your post about feeling out of your depth last night. Please don't feel like that. None of us really know what we're doing! Other than trying to stay sober one day at a time... Everyone's words have the same value. So just keep posting how you are and how you are feeling.

hey moomin good to see you...and glad you've had a proper chat with dh. I'm awaiting the arrival of a friend and her two dc, but with all toys packed and the house looking like a big packing box, not sure what we're going to do. Pissing it doen here, so usual default of park and ice cream not on the agenda.

Glad to have you back... (self centred alkie emotion)

Morning MissP...how can you be happy when you've had a drill in your mouth??!!!

It's good to be back! I am not letting myself be dragged into self-pity or beating myself up about what happened. What's done is done.

I don't really have any suggestions algee re activities! Perhaps someone who has actually has children would have a better idea!

Hello all

Glad that everyon has come back - I get afraid (on here and in real life) when someone who I know "for drinking reasons" disappears. Like all of you, I know what is out there and so fear the worst if a friend goes quiet.

Anyway, start of a new day. Remember two things:

If you don't drink, one day at a time, I promise you your life will get better.

If you do drink, one day at a time, I promise you your life will get worse - however bad it already is. Drink is a great way of learning that there is ALWAYS further to fall.

Anyway, I hope everyone's life gets better, not worse, today.

Also, an offer I periodically make - if anyone lives near me (within reason - let's say zones 1-3, give or take) and wants to go to an AA meeting, I am happy to accompany you.

Hi Red and Algee. Well the toothache was so horrid if he had come at me with a hammer I think I would have been happy! Now I am in love with my dentist (whole other thread ) About feeling out of my depth, I think last night was a stark reminder of how real and painful this journey is for all of us. I was trying too hard to think of the right thing to say, to mend things IYSWIM Thats my stuff really sorry x

Hey Redmoomin did you do your hair...?

hello mouse...ah 'the list'...how helpful will that be!

Hi MIFLAW,

I know what you mean about being afraid. If I hear that someone is MIA from AA I get a sick feeling in my stomach. The only thing I can say that's positive for me at the moment is that despite the fact that I have drunk on about 4 or 5 occasions over the past 5 months I have never stopped going to meetings.

Hi MissP - yes hair is RED!
Mouse - hello! Lovely to see how positive you are feeling. And yes, I cannot wait for the list. I have no idea how the contact poster thingy will work though. Can you explain it to me?! (Sorry if I am being stupid here!)

Well I got off to a crap start

thanks MIFLAW, as ever... life can be shit sometimes, but really it is shittier with a drink, isn't it? Wish I could understand why it seems like it will be better drunk though.

...so you no longer moomin, moomin?

Hello porto

Life is always shittier with a drink..why did I never see it when I was drinking though...because I didn't want to. Alcohol was my 'crutch', I thought.

In the end I got fed up of feeling sick and tired. My drinking was horrendous. i never want to go back, and reading this type of thread reminds me of everything I felt and thought.

It is hard to be honest, and this thread is a lovely supportive place for you all

Hello porto, how are you doing today? If it all went to hell yesterday don't dwell on it. Today is a lovely, new, fresh day.

algee - I am moomin or red! Happy with both!

Hello jem,

Thank you for your kind words! Are you fairly far along with your recovery?