brave battling babes get even better without the booze!

[jesuswhatnext]

10 weeks ago i started a thread asking for help - i was in a very desperate place, totally dependent on alchohol, unhappy, lonely and floundering around trying to make sense of it all. i was in danger of losing everything i hold dear.

in those few short weeks, i have got my life back and picked up a few computer friends along the way - we help each other, support each other, and laugh and cry together - if you would like to join us, please feel free - no judging, preaching, sermonising or moralising - we are simply ordinary people with a bloody awful illness!

Aha you are still here Trinity. How is it going? Should I join you? Can you convince me that it is good?

we all know we all care

dont worry about trying to keep up

Miss P.

No need to try to be helpful, just say what you feel and how your drinking / not drinking affects you. It will be exactly what someone needs to hear.

Do you have a problem controling your drinking? Do you have expereince of wwhat it feels like? That's all it takes. Post away whatever you feel moved by.

well no but only because I now you dont want to

well not only, I know its not good

but the pain in my heart when my babies sob for their daddy and I CAN'T MAKE IT BETTER is just too fucking much

Thanks Trinity

Aw, Trinity, I wasn't being mean and I wasn't trying to be clever.

Just take it slow, and keep posting. And keep on thinking about stopping. Every glass you don't have is a good thing. If you have to keep drinking, alternate with water. And when you get to the end of the bottle, chick it in the bin and go to bed.

venus - you are so totally fabulous!!!, your thoughtful and kind posts lift my heart - it looks like some of us are having bloody shit evenings , please read venus's posts again, what she says is so true!!

having that drink is REALLY not going to help - please try and stop now and go to bed, get some sleep and start again tomorrow!

Trinity, I'm going to wade in, though I really don't want to, just that I really need to be asking...does the drink plug the pain? My very best friend is three years on from where you are now. Different circumstances, same outcome. Her girl is my god daughter, and I love these people so much. When friend's dh died we spent endless hours drinking, laughing crying...you know the stuff. When the memories threatened to sink her she moved away, and I still miss her, but tomorrow night dd and I are going to visit for the rest of the week.

I don't want to be in the hole that alchohol takes me in to, but more than that, I don't want to remove the crutch that my friend has in my company and generous quantities of wine.

Sorry to ask. Does it help when your darling child is calling out for daddy, does it help when your hearty is aching for him? I'm not going to tell my friend about this problem either way, but... I guess I'm asking for your help specifically but the help of all the fairies. Tactless I know, particularly when you are still so raw yourself, but...

posting now before I lose my nerve.

Hi Jesus (waving weakly). I feel as though I am facing all my demons at once here. I have honestly felt like joining in with the big party than is going on out there. Did I miss my invitation?

On a completely different topic I read a post on another thread tonight where a poor woman has just chucked out her dh after a big drinking espisode (he was out with their son). She was feeling bad about it, and one of the posters was looking for advice from MIFLAW. I felt so ashamed reading about the pain that she and her family were going through. That could have been any of us doing that. And it took me right back to your first post Jesus. I only hope that her dh can make the turnaround that you have made, and maybe help some others on the way.

venus, you just made me see the answert to my question...even sober i can be so dense

no it doesn't
it just makes me put off the workng through of it
I cant change the fact that the love of my life is gone forever
I cant change the fact that my babies no longer have their daddy

drinking just stops the immeadiate rush of agonising pain

but doesn't change anything
doesn't make anything go away

its just the pain is sooo intense when you walk back down the stairs after finally managing to get your little girl to stop sobbng
and you hate yourself becuse you cant solve it

I have alwasy been able to kiss the pain away, change things, make things better
I cant make this better and it screws your fuccking head up

like seriiously

so I drink to get a break fro the guilt, th pain, the anger

f she wants to drink then she wants to drink but one day we need to stop and let the pain fill us so that we can work though it and find reall, sensible coping methods.

venus - tbh, it dosnet sound like much of a party to me , they dont sound like they are having much fun!

algee, no idea what I said, but glad to be of help.

You asked earlier about dh. he is away till next week, so still a while to go. I have a friend coming for the weekend. And being on here has kept me occupied. Not done as much work as I should, but a hell of a lot more work than I would have done if I'd been in an alcoholic haze all week.

half a bottle and I've stopped

Im going to bed

I'm sorry

Thank you trinity. Sorry to ask. I knew the answer really...

Going to hit the sack everybody. Sorry it's been a tough night for so many, venus, you're a star! Not counting anymore, one day at a time, but today has been a sober one for me!

trinity - you have nothing to be sorry for, please try and get some sleep! good night love xxx

God, I'm weeping for myself and for you all.

Goodnight everyone. Sleep well.

Sorry, have stopped my private little pity party. Seems trivial in the face of what people like trinity have to go through. Had two (my measures so probably more) but stopped. Still some in bottle, am going to bed before there's not.

Night all x

...venus just reminded me about the people on the flip side of this thread. Why I want to stop, why I need to be honest with my friend, even though I think she might resent me for not joining her...hell for all I know, my drunken nights with her might have been holding her in her grief rather than helping her get through them.

venus - you are a wonderful, lovley person! get some sleep, you sound exhausted!

see you in the morning!!xxxxxxxx

algee -after reading trinitys posts may be you are right about your friend - all you can do is still be her friend, but a sober one!

good night toclear!

Hello sitting drinking tea. Sorry if I nearly carried you over the edge.

MissP what do you mean, out of your depth?

Trinity and to clear, well done for holidngoff on the full assault

JWN and venus and algee amazing as usual

hope to see you all in the morning.

hello just checking in to see how it's going. So sorry to see people have had a bad night. I hope things are better tomorrow.

I'm tired and achy and a bit (a lot) pissed off with myself, but I didn't have a drink (couldn't have stomached it tbh, fairly certain it's got nothing to do with my willpower).

Peppermint tea and bed for me pretty soon I think (wow I'm so rock and roll..)

Goodnight, all.

So sorry that people are having a crap night . Tomorrow is a new start

I think I know what you mean about feeling out of your depth MissP - I want to offer my suport but worry I get it wrong, in that I feel a bumbling eejit and don't really know what to say to help, when I really want to offer my moral support and have good advice!

Maybe in time and with a bit more experience I'll feel better equiped to Say The Right Thing

I've had my bath and had an Ovaltine - no booze here. Dp is sulking and acting moody. If I'm doing something to tackle my drinking I think he feels the spotlight's on him and he becomes almost defensive; trying to justify the amount we drink, making out I'm overreacting etc etc