SM - Hi, it's ME - and so sorry to have disappeared without warning. I went up to my Mum's a bit suddenly, and couldn't get my new wireless home connection up before I went.
Horrified to hear what has been going on re the carpet - poor you. It's all been said. I am CHILLED by this whole 'no carpet cleaner, no internet access' decree of his - he really does think he is your lord and master to punish for misdeeds, doesn't he? It's quite horrible, and rather weird, creepy - and a travesty of human rights.
V pleased to hear that you have been signed u for another batch of counselling sessions - that must feel like a bit of a lifeline?
I was thinking about your situation while I was away, and how he harps on about you (apparantly!) being like your mother, when the REAL danger in your family is because HE behaves like his brutal, cold father. Most men would dread turning into the dad who threw away the birtday lego and cancelled the party - but he is treading exactly those footsteps. If only he could see that really strong men are confident enough to give people their freedom and independence.
He isn't accepting the challenge of the new resistance you are showing, is he? He isn't learning one tiny bit from it. No AM, no relaxing on his obsessions - in fact he sounds as if he is getting worse in his determination to control you.
I defy any other MN-er to say her DH cares two hoots about the colour of bathroom towels!!!
Oh, SM, I do feel this summer has been an ordeal for you, so many pressures to endure.
I know I couldn't live the way he expects you to - but I also understand your fears about the unkown. I wonder if, by way of a fact-finding mission, it might be worth starting a thread on the 'single parents' board (maybe under a different name if you felt happier) asking about the basic practicalities about how people managed to leave a bad relationship - how they managed housing, money etc?
I think about that woman (Julia Roberts!) in Sleeping With The Enemy - and how she secretly learned to swim. Maybe Freedon Training will be like your secret swimmimg lessons!
Oh, and I've been logging how often I spill things. This week, it has been a splash of drink on my Mum's armchair (luckily obliterated with a damp cloth), and a great slick of moisturiser all down a top and skirt I had just put on to go out in.
SM, I must say, even though you have had a week in which he has behaved really badly, it is good to hear you sounding spirited - good for you! A few months ago you would have been really scared over this carpet business.
xxxxxxxx and sorry again for disappearing without trace - I also forgot to put my 'out of office' thingy on, which is why Dino didn't get a reply, etc.