Stressedmummy is back on line at last!!!

[stressedmummy]

Thank goodness!
We have had loads of problems connecting back up to the internet & H was having a few little tantrums about it this morning, but I am now back!
He was not as cross as he could have been regarding the wine, because I think I have got rid of most of the stain. I am now banned from drinking red wine in the lounge!

The course is not convenient for working women at all, especially womwn who happen to work in a school, as it doesn't run during school holidays!
I think I am the only working Mum, that attends.
They said that they did have some hand outs from the "bad father" session, but didn't have them with them during last weeks session.
Hopefully I will be able to pick them up one week.
I hope the peace continues for a little while, but know it is probably calmer ATM, due to him not being around much.
Also, I haven't done anything to rile him recently, like spilling things etc.
I know this calm will only last a while though & am no longer in my denial state of "Maybe he's changed!"
I need to find out what I can do/where I could go, when I find myself in another unbearable horrible situation.
Many times, I have been so upset & desperate, that I have run towards the door, when he has been horrible & then realised that I have 2 children in the house, so cannot go anywhere.
I know that if I don't find out my rights, I will always feel that trapped.

Can't get hold of my HV.

Hope you manage to get hold of her this week, stressedmummy.

How was your w/e?
V domestic here - washing machine earning it's keep, bought new fridge, mowed lawn..making myself yawn just thinking about it all!

Blimey, you have been busy!!!
I tackled a bit of washing & ironing myself, but to look at my laundry basket tonight, you would never have thought so!
Yesterday we had to go to a childs 1st birthday party, which H actually dragged himself along to, but only because it was his friends sisters child & he knew his friend would be there.
He hated every second of it & says he is never going to another childs party again!
Ds1 was whiney & didn't want to be there at first, as there were lots of people he didn't know at this party, which annoyed H.
Ds was ok after a while though.
We were given some birthday cake for both boys after the party, wrapped in a napkin.
When I got out of the car to post a letter, I placed the cakes carefully on the seat of the car, but some crumbs escaped, so H threw both bits of cake out of the car door, because he was so annoyed about this.
I went out for a few drinks with a friend last night & H invited his friend round the house while I was out.
When I got back, his friend was drunk & letchy.
H noticed, but didn't say anything to him, which I found strange, especially after the freak he had when one of his friends danced with me!
Today hasn't been too bad, other than Thunderbirds on DVD all day!

HI SM sounds like you've had the usual weekend! look on the bright side it could have been worse! And after all you know you really do love thunderbirds!!!!All quiet here, thurs problem now resolved and all ok thank god! Thought might of heard from you about going up to Ikea? Never mind didn't miss much! You still ok for DS to come tomorrow?

Forgot to mention the added joy, at the party yesterday, of being in the company of the girl that H 2 timed me for, when I was 18!
She sat there telling me how her first child was concieved while she was asleep & how she hates the father of her second child, but just needs to stop herself from sleeping with him every time he visits the child!!!
Classy girl!!!!

Yes, no probs!
My Mum has copied a Thunderbirds DVD for your ds, after my ds1 insisting that he had to have 1!

Completly forgot about IKEA!

very classy girl! nothing you didn't already know! what a fun day you must of had, was there wine? so what did dh say about letchy mate on sat? was it the same letchy one as other occasions?

Yes there was wine!
H didn't say anything to his mate, which suprised me, but I aired my views on the subject after he went home!
Yes this friend of his has been letchy before, when drunk, but never quite as bad as he was last night.

B!!! So are you and DH talking or is it all your fault again!!!! did you go out with CH sat night did you have a nice time!!!!

LOL and at that woman! She clearly takes her choice of men seriously, then!

V mean of him about the cake, but OF COURSE a hooverable up crumb on his car seat is worse than depriving his kids of a piece of b'day cake. At least he doesn't give you long enough to fall into the deluded idea that he might be normal!

He didn't mind his mate being letchy because he felt in control of the situation. He might even have felt a truly horrible impulse of 'my wife is under my thumb and will even be available as the target of my mates letchiness if I say she should'. I bet he would have kicked off about you being rude if you had made a blunt complaint to the guy.

Well, may peace reign on Tracy Island this week

H says he did notice his friend kept trying to touch me etc & he thought it was a bit bad. But it annoyed me that he didn't say anything to the friend at the time.
I don't understand him! He seems to go along with his things, if he is around (like telling his friend that he could "have me" for a pay rise etc), but is freakily jealous about quite innocent things, like the dancing, when he's not around!
Was going to ask you 2 come out last night, but remembered that your dh always works night shift on a Saturday.

Yes, I think you are right about his feeling of being in control, Blu.
Seems odd that he over reacts to trivial things, when he's not around, but quite calm about things like his mates behaviour last night!

Urgh, yes, i remember now about the pay rise thing.

When he's there it's as if you are his to lend or rent out, he gives or witholds 'permission' for his mate to letch over you...but god forbid if he is not there and someone tries to encroach on 'his' territory. In that 'O' novel, the man leases out the woman to his friend to demonstrate his power over her and emphasise his dominion...creepy. Not saying your H would do it, of course, but I think it's the same dynamic . Sorry to be so negative about it. Maddening way to end a nice night out with a friend.

DP and I were suppposed to be out last night, but Fri night DS had had a really bad croupy cough, couldn't catch his breath and was hysterical, and my Mum said she didn't feel confident to babysit in case it happened again. She has bad arthritis, so feels a bit vulnerable.

Oh no, your poor ds.
Is he over the nose bleeds now?

His nosebleeds come in fits and starts - a lot when he has hay fever or has had a cold - or when DP starts interfering, using the saline drops or the spray from the doctor, which IMO don't allow the scab from the last bleed to heal!

He was fine the next morning - just a bit congested.

He sounds like a real snotty kid, doesn't he!?

Oh, bless him! I hope he is feeling better soon.
Loobie, if you are about, I think it may be an idea to only talk on msn, when H is out of the house, as he can pop in the room at any time.
Last night, he did that twice & I paniced & switched off the pc, so he didn't see your message.
This made him very paranoid & he asked jumped straight on the computer, when I said I was going to bed.
I was petrified of what he was doing, as I thought he would be trying to track down what I had been talking about on here!
I couldn't settle in bed & he was aware of it.
He asked me at 5am, if I had something to tell him.
I said I didn't & asked why he asked, to which he answered "Because I was so jumpy on the computer."
I just told him that it was because I was talking to someone from MN on msn & remember how funny he got about it before.
If he knows I have discussed him at all, he will go completly mad!

That should have said "jumped straight on the computer"
Don't know where the asked came from! I am very tired!

thats ok hun as o said last night i would hate to do anything to jeprdise the fragility you already live in,if you come on msn and im logged on and its ok to talk just jump in send me a message im never far away!!Otherwise i will wait till you come on or send me an email first telling me when hes gone out and we can chat.
Have a good day and take carexxxxxx

Thanks Loobie.
I have barely slept & when I did I was dreaming of what he may have been looking at!
I don't think he found anything, as he would have been far nastier to me if he had, but it really frightened me.
Because he lept straight on here, I didn't have time to delete things first, so my mind was working overtime!
When he is out, or at work & I know it is safe, I will send you a message.
Going to try & delete what I can now. (He is out all afternoon.)

that you have to live like this, stressedmummy. Don't let him get you down, you're doing brilliantly.

Are you dinosaur???

Yes, sorry, forgot you wouldn't recognise me!

Wow, that's one name change!!
Did you get bored of the pumpkin one?!