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Original poster

is hesex addict or am i the problem

139 replies

womblingfree1970 · 04/08/2010 22:18

my h always wants sex.will text me from work asking if he can have sex that night(not in those words tho).When we are sat in bed watching tv he will be constantly fondling me and touching my genitals(over or under my clothes).I ask him to stop and he looks at me as if I'm strange.We have sex several times a week and I wold describe it as adventurous.But he just seems to want more and more.Even when I'm ill.Surely this can't be normal

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 04/08/2010 22:21

You're not a blow up doll, are you? What about telling him it pisses you off? What is normal for people varies, but if you feel harrassed all the time you have got a problem as a couple, yes.

GypsyMoth · 04/08/2010 22:23

definite problem!

how long have you been together?

Original poster
womblingfree1970 · 04/08/2010 22:29

I've told him and he doen't listen.says I've got the problem not him.Tells me other women would love it.I'll be out for the day with the kids and next minute he'll text asking if I would like to sextext with him.I'm like no I'm out with the kids.We went camping as a family and he expected sex and I'm not talking just straight sex yet the kids were sleeping right next to us.Been like it for years.and I've eplained and talked to him about it but nothing changes.I am now considering leaving him as I don't know what else to do.

OP posts:
Original poster
womblingfree1970 · 04/08/2010 22:30

been together 14 years now.Its got worse over the years after he started downloading loads of porn

OP posts:
Angelcat666 · 04/08/2010 22:31

He's definitely the one with the problem not you. Don't let him convince you otherwise.

Eurostar · 04/08/2010 22:34

Sounds horrible. It would get seriously on my nerves if I couldn't watch a film without constant fondling, sounds like he needs to read some basic stuff about women and sex. What do you mean, not just straight sex when sleeping next to the kids? That sounds a bit worrying?

Original poster
womblingfree1970 · 04/08/2010 22:35

Thing is I used to have a high sex drive but with all this constant pestering etc over the years it really has put me right off.We are now living seperately as I've decided I've had enough and I've told him I'm not sure if I want the marriage anymore.I've already noticed that my sexdrive have come back although I haven't acted on it.He even asked if whilst we are living seperately can he still pop around for sex.

OP posts:
MathsMadMummy · 04/08/2010 22:36

think you need to give him an ultimatum... change his ways or get lost!

AnyFucker · 04/08/2010 22:38

leave him and leave a blow-up doll with a saucepan in its hand in the kitchen

I am serious

how fucking dare he

you are not a piece of meat

Original poster
womblingfree1970 · 04/08/2010 22:39

I said no to sex in the tent.But i'm sure if I'd said yes he would have wanted more than the missionary position.Of course I don't know for sure as it didn't happen.

OP posts:
MathsMadMummy · 04/08/2010 22:41

what does he do if you're in bed and he wants sex but you don't?

AnyFucker · 04/08/2010 22:42

unusual, porn-fuelled sex in a tent with the kis sleeping nearby ?

and you went through with it ?

you are as much at fault (unless he physically overpowered you ?, threatened you ?)

your sexlife sounds dodgy and if you carry on this way, you are putting his sexual needs over the needs of your children to grow up in a safe environment

and you do not want to be that sort of woman, do you ?

AnyFucker · 04/08/2010 22:43

sorry, X-posted, I am glad you said no to the tent

that made me see red there for a moment

Eurostar · 04/08/2010 22:43

Sounds like an overgrown teenager. Yuk. I think the fact that your sex drive has come back since you've got away from the constant pressure should tell him all he needs to know about how counter productive his behaviour is. He seems to have confused you with a porn actress, thinking that you should love it if he manhandles your bits constantly. Does he think those always up for it women are for real? He needs to stop watching porn if you have any chance of getting back on track, it's clearly desensitizing him from being able to judge real reactions.

MrsSawdust · 04/08/2010 22:43

Ah ha - he looks at a lot of porn? And this has made him believe that all 'normal' women are grateful to be groped and mauled constantly, even when ill / tired / busy with the kids? Sadly symptomatic of the warped view of women's sexuality currently perpetuated by the porn industry.

You describe your sex life as 'adventurous'. Do I detect a feeling that you'd actually quite like some ordinary, no frills straight sex once in a while? Do you feel like you're acting out a scene from a porn film when you are having sex?

AnyFucker · 04/08/2010 22:44

you say you are living apart ?

keep it that way

and no booty calls

Original poster
womblingfree1970 · 04/08/2010 22:45

You haven't read it right.I didn't go though with it I said no to sex in the tent.The porn was not in the tent.He watched porn at home on the computer which I had no knowledge of.

So to make it clear I said no.Its the fact that he asks that is wrong

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 04/08/2010 22:46

yes, we cross posted, I get it

MathsMadMummy · 04/08/2010 22:46

how does he react though, when you say no? is he happy with that or is he upset/annoyed/sulky?

Original poster
womblingfree1970 · 04/08/2010 22:47

Yes we are living seperately.I'm now thinking of divorcing him

OP posts:
Original poster
womblingfree1970 · 04/08/2010 22:51

yes I would like loving sex once in a while.In fact I'd like loving sex more often than not.But don't get it.Always has to be adventurous for him.Just like a porn film

Also when I say no he gets sulky or continues to grope etc.Really annoys me.Have spent countless nights not sleeping because of constant groping

OP posts:
wubblybubbly · 04/08/2010 22:54

I couldn't live with being treated like a piece of meat. Honestly, I feel physically sick at the thought of living like that.

He's got the problem, not you.

AnyFucker · 04/08/2010 22:55

file the papers

MathsMadMummy · 04/08/2010 22:56

if he's carrying on even after you say no, that is really not ok. not sure about the addiction but he is certainly an arse

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 04/08/2010 22:57

Christ he sounds revolting. You absolutely have grounds for divorce.