Brave Battling Babes - Booze No More!!

[Mouseface]

Well, thanks to the refreshingly honest and inspirational JesusWhatNext - this is the third thread, for the battle to beat the booze for all of those who are on the path to do so.

Some are sober, some are trying to be and some are still drinking.

I'm Mouse, I'm new to this and I'm scared. So, come and join the journey.

Started reading the original thread last week with wine in hand. Finally caught up and am on day 4 alcohol free - day 5 nearly upon me. Had a 5 week break earlier this year and had been intending ever since to give it another go. The problem was that I was finding it relatively easy not to drink, so it seemed not a big deal to have one. How wrong.. but 6 months on am trying again and this is the encouragement I need. DH - who can take it or leave it - is on board too for general health reasons which helps. Well done to you all and i feel I have already learned alot from you x

Welcome, looking!

Can I give you one piece advice right now?

Print out this first post. Because the time WILL come again, believe it or not, when you think, "one can't hurt. Look how well I've done - I'm probably cured!"

Be ready to remind yourself that it just ain't so and you might save yourself a lot of grief.

I suppose the thought that it's forever is daunting. It's scary when I look back at situations I have been in and created and yet I am only at this point now and not years ago. I identified with so much and so many posts that I can't believe how obvious ths signs have been. I am a novice at this - never posted anything in my life. But, I am an alcohlic - there you go. Never said it out loud, denied it for so long, and there it is in black and white.

Well done - it takes some doing to admit that. I was certainly the last person to know that I was an alcoholic.

Time for piece of advice number 2. Fuck forever. If the bomb goes off tomorrow, you're going to feel a bit foolish that you spent your last night on earth worrying about whether or not you could stay off a drink for the rest of your life.

Decide, instead, that, just for today, you are not going ot have a drink - and accept in advance that, simple though it sounds, you may not find it easy and that, if need be, you will accept help.

If you succeed (and I know you can, because I've done it) attempt to feel gratitude at the end of the day.

The next morning, you have the same decision to make.

Repeat to fade.

Much, MUCH easier than "forever" - it's been working for me for some time.

Thanks - that's good advice. I was thinking abut the alcoholic tag being forever - as well as the need not to drink - and i suppose the only thing i can control is whether i do drink again, but as you suggest I'll break it down to say by day. I expect it will become harder. Just now, it's almost exciting and a bit of a novelty. I worry about complacency, but reminding myself of where I was and focusing on every day as it comes is a good way of approaching it. Thank

"I expect it will become harder." Now how is that keeping it in the day?

Don't worry about later - worry about now.

(As it happens, the first three days tend to be shit if you've been drinking a lot lately, because it's like having a hangover and actually seeing it through to the end rather than taking the edge off - then it gets easier, not harder. But, whether that's true for you or not, worrying about it now isn't going to fix it later! Just go with it and let it happen.)

As for the alcoholic tag - apart, possibly, from another alcoholic (we have a sort of gaydar ) no one else is going to notice you are an alcoholic if you stop drinking, so there won't be a tag to worry about unless you want to use it yourself.

I'm afraid it's too late - my behaviour and inability not to out drink everyone means that the truth has probably been out for years! but that's the least of my worries. So used to feeling so bad - only briefly interspersed with the "pleasure" of those first two glasses - mean that once i got over the jitters i feel no worse than usual - if only i could sleep! Goodnight x

The people that like and love you will just be happy that you're back to the you they used to know and that you've stopped hurting yourself.

The rest won't care whether you are alkie or not, as long as you're not actively getting drunk and making their lives hard and, frankly, can fuck off if they don't like it.

i am so sorry eveybody, I felt sick reading posts yesterday but not feeling able to reply; talk about dirty lurker... really unpleasant feeling.Thank you for catching me before I fell all the way through the floor and into the big black hole. Really. Not going to reply to specifics now, dd doodling next to me. But thank you. I had resolved to not post, but I think on the whole that I'm safer with you lot. I think one of the reasons I want to run is because I really have acknowledged this and I am so flipping ashamed and SCARED. scared scared scared that the wheels could come off like that. I know that there's a lot of talk about 'not being powerless', but when I pick up a bottle that's just how I feel, weak pathetic and POWERLESS.

A little something about me... a few years ago I 'knew' there was something wrong with me and refused to go to the doctor as I thought I should plough on ...I had cancer and tio this day can't believe the econd chance I was given in spite of by stubbornness. How do you reason with/ help a person like that?

I remained sober yesterday and intend to do the same again. I was so sick through Thursday night, and yestrerday could hardly function.

Sorry for being such a drain/ drama queen/ general pain in the arse, but I will quietly sneak back if that's ok with you? There are too many of you on here who I believe really understand without me having to spell it out, and i need to get over my paranoia about being watched/ judged/ recognised...whatever.

Thank you and with love.

So glad you posted aglee. Well done for staying sober yesterday, and well done for coming back on here.

Be kind to yourself and have a nice day.

so glad to see you back algee

and well done

daaaaay 9
taking the girls swimming today with a friend and his boy

will be knackered later and sober

ohh hurrah!!! AM SO GLAD YOU CAME BACK ALGEE!!!

the last fwe posts from 'looking' (hi there!) and miflaw are fantastic to read!! (miflaw gives me a warm fuzzy feeling! )

every reason i have have stopped for are in those posts, and every fear i have for the future are there too! i too am scared, worried about 'forever', worried i may become complacent and am terrified that one day i may pronounce myself 'cured', that would mean total disaster!!!

so, i take a day at a time and say

TODAY I WILL NOT BE DRINKING!!

btw algee, the first thing we admit to in AA is the fact that we are powerless over alcohol - in my view, that does not mean we are powerless over all aspects of our lives, in fact, just reading this thread shows that we are pretty powerful women!, we run homes, hold down jobs, bring up children, have many differant interests ect ect - the ONLY thing that can bugger all that up is picking up that first drink, that is what takes our 'power' away!!

and fwiw, if i could right now you would be being smothered in a huge hug!!

daaay 9 trinity, those sober days are really racking up now arnt they!!

Hello girls and boys!

STill no news on job

I'm afraid I had three glasses of wine last night, we had lots of friends round for dinner and they didn't leave till 1.30.

However, I feel fine and won't be drinking today. We had a lovely evening. So back to day 1 I guess, but I am very relieved that I feel fine, I actually don't feel too guilty either because it was a very pleasant and civil evening. I'd love to believe I've reset my alcohol switch, unlikely though!

I haven't had time to catch up on everyone's posts, will read, just wanted to get that off my chest.

Hope everyone is well.

Hello Algee I new. I am really glad you are back too. I so completely understand the wheels comming off thing. I can be really happy and committed to not drinking one day, no, minute and then its as if Ive forgotten everything I've learnt and off I go again.I consider myself to be quite stubborn and determined, but alcohol renders me weak and useless

Welcome to you looking! Loved reading the posts between you and MIFLAW - like JWN was saying too. He knows what he's talking about!
algee - hello my lovely. Fab to see you are still about. Please, please be gentle with yourself for the next few days. Don't feel like you have to post everything that's been going on. You're here and I am so pleased!
wasindie - enjoy the peace now MiL has gone! (Not sure how much peace you will get with the babies though!)
mouse - well done for getting through the wobble.
trinity - how did you get on with the SW?
christi - glad you are OK today and still crossing my fingers for you.
venus - morning! Have you got anything planned for today?
To everyone elese - HELLO! Hope that everyone is doing well and feeling positive. I went to a great meeting last night, I now have red hair, it's been cut and I have put make up on, feel like a new woman!

MissP - good to 'see' you this morning! How are you feeling?

algee - by the way, please don't think you have to say sorry, or think you have been a 'drama queen' or whatever else it was you were saying. I think I can safely say on behalf of everyone that we are just delighted to see you back. (Sending big hugs and kisses whether they are MN-like or not! x x )

Hey Redmoomin you express yourself so much better than I seem able to. I second everything you just said.
3 weeks for me today

Short but sweet for me again today Babes. Will catch up Monday - will be looking out for the new thread because I am guessing we might need it by then!

Keep safe everyone and be kind to yourselves x

That's fab MissP! A real achievement. Got to go now have a good weekend!

Just following you all over from the previous thread - hello to everyone from then, and on here.

I am doing ok, even though DH has had a spectacular meltdown a few days ago. Which has helped me see a pattern emerging (other than the PMS one when I finally seem to crack!). So I've been holding it together, really calm/constructive, not raising my voice or responding in a way that could worsen the situation.

And I now realise that each time I've finally cracked, had a couple of drinks and "lost my temper" has been after 3 or 4 of his meltdowns, and me holding it together. So it seems to be a bit of a vicious downward spiral. I'm still sure that it's other issues rather than alcohol, and don't feel I need a drink, but do feel very glad I've got my counselling next week (at "that" time....which I know will help me stay focussed and positive).

On some level, we're both reacting to each others reactions, and I'm determined that pattern needs to be broken. I've been trying to get him to agree to joint counselling re our methods of communication for over a year now, and today is the first day where I've not just been hit with "I don't need to, there's nothing wrong with how I..., etc etc etc". So hopefully, if he stays calm, he might actually agree on working to improve our communication so we're not constantly feeling "got at".

So, I've managed to post in to say I've stayed calm, and am still challenging myself to do the same again (probably on the next thread, looking at how fast this one's filled up!).

I will read all of this thoroughly, sorry not to say hello to everyone, but do just want to say algee have a good day today and be kind to yourself! (actually, that goes for everyone here :) ) And well done on getting through the wobble mouseface! Take care of yourselves x