Patience -so sorry hen! You are such a strong woman who has come so far. You have given it everything! And the point about enhancing your life is so true. He isnt doing that! Also sending 'do benefits' vibe. Definitely have a chat to him - explain your previous longterm no problem tenancy and persuade him you will be a great tenant!
Getting agree it is eye opening how much practical stuff we have to learnt to do - but I have felt a real sense of achievement and do like trying to do the stuff. Going to tackle some of the garden with tools/stuff Ive never done this week!
LC agree that tattoos/ plastic surgery not for me but yes I love some tattoos on others - TBH dont know many people who have had surgery!
As for OW. Often the OW is a very low person compared to previous partners as the Wayward Spouse feels bad about themself/behaviour and chooses someone accordingly. My OW has actually gone way out of the way to avoid me/my friends so shes been a bit different. But previously she was at our wedding etc so truely disgusting. Still have wedding present from her in house - yes I do need to ditch it.
I truely understand the blaming the OW position -I was so angry for a long time with her almost alone. But you have to actually recognise longterm that it was your H/partner who betrayed you the most. Hard because you loved/love them. I am pretty sure that my H would have had affair with someone else - just she was around and made clear available and had liked H over the long term. I think of H now as a walking timebomb waiting to go off with his codependency/ Family of origin issues plus being raised as a golden child. So he wasnt to blame obviously at the circumstances he was brought up but did make shocking and selfish choices with a huge sense of entitlement.
Whew - that over.
Actually relieved that relative gone but sad at overall situation. Was so close and thought so much of them but starting to think very selfish and materialistic and has changed a lot sadly. I of course didnt say everything right but have to think through how much I should put up with stuff or should I let stuff go. Trouble I have let a lot go with H for example and where did that get me?
Kids away with H so relax weekend -need some sleep and have another difficult conversation with another relative to have so need to get myself ready for that.