ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched No. 6

[gettingeasier]

Cant survive 5 minutes without this thread

Aye well i am in my prime Startin ' such a shame to waste it .....def need sex b4 xmas ,dont remember falling in the dream just going really fast backwards ie reversing my car, and a copper saved me .

Patience, thought the going really fast backwards might be similiar to falling so posted that aswell. Personally I prefer the sex meaning, so who's the copper that's going to save you............?? . Think you need to get back to those garages & continue your flirting work

So glad for you Sov ,i think re boundaries ,if you remember the quote i use the opposite of" abuse is respect "then if ur P abuses your good nature by disrespecting you in your own home then that is when i would start to set a boundary to protect myself from his negative behavior.But Sov please do not put yourself in danger if he is in any way aggressive to you he might flip it so keep yourself safe .Space will def help you to find who you are again as he wont suck the life out of you ,but baby steps work on calmness 2morrow,just a little bit change is good you dont need to be a hero ,i am trying to keep bedtimes calm here.Ds is very sensitive to any shouting so i am trying my best to" keep calm and carry on " ,what ages are your dcs again ?

Copper was very young and innocent ,never manipulated a woman in his life by the looks of him ,thought he might take down my particulars.....Patience falls off seat laffin at her own jokes again........

i am so tired i am having trouble getting through all the posts.

sov will get to know your story properly tomorrow - from what i can see so far though you have been through a tough time. you look after yourself and keep taking to us

patience.....pmsl. Fingers x'd you'll find your copper soon.......young & innocent is how we like them

EP would never be physically violent towards me it's just verbal, but with me feeling low atm i cant handle him shouting me down

My DC are DS1 is 7yrs, DS2 is 3yrs, DS3 is 2 yrs and DD is 6 months

DS1 is aware of what's happened but seems to be fine enven though i do keep asking how he's feeling
DS2 says daddy upset mummy and has started acting out and not listening to me, which he used to before his dad left
and the other 2 DC seems like they havent really noticed

Bedtime is a calm routine for us and i must admit i like that time of day as they are all in bed alseep or in DS1 case watching tv in his room by 8pm so i get my time, which i am going to start using for myself

Great Sov ,glad you are safe , not telling you what to do but the shouting is abusive ,he needs to communicate with you respectfully.X3 boys need to be running about IMO {fresh air and exercise my answer to everything by the way LOL!}can they go somewhere and run off some energy frustration etc ,do you have a good play area ,football pitch or something.DS2 might be copyin his dad re behaviour.Anyway calmness is what we are all aiming for.Last week not great for me but instead of letting the pattern continue i walked up a hill this morning took kids out on bikes this afternoon had a film made tea quick bath and bed ,so much better bed time.Need to start getting them into bed earlier though makes a big difference .

Hi all hard to keep up and internet dodgy here again last night.
Sov I haven't done the detail yet on your back story still will at some point. Did you have counselling at all as I have found it really useful as have a number of the Dumplings?
I ask because its an extra place to vent, work through feelings and also deal with any specific issues you may have. I have had few issues where BE (bald eagle) has tried to create drama in my home and my counsellor really helped me avoid this. Google drama triangle. I don't have a drama triangle anymore having taken her advice.

good morning everyone.

still v tired - i think i have just run out of adrenalin.

going to take some of patience's advice and get some exercise and fresh air today. (hoping it does not rain )

happy - the drama triangle things makes an awful lot of sense - it is about breaking the cycle.

hope you have a good day today sov

waves at LC beebs mumfun chairmum getting starting party pink and all other dumplings,

hello tea as well

LC how ya doin?
AB just the other week startin reminded me about the walk thing felt soooo much better after sitting next to my tree.Feeling quite weepy today but very calm,really goin to get this sussed this time ,all part of the plan.Want my kids to live in a patient calm peaceful house and changing my lifestyle to achieve this by cutting out as much stress as i can ,trying to be strong re X as this is biggest cause of stress in my life.Going to take kids to play area later and come home and do more candles ,really simple ladies and smells great!Think i will make some strawberry,fresh cut grass,coffee trying to find a recipe for stem ginger and walnut,also baby powder and lavender.

Sov can you check out your local sports centre and see if ur boys fancy trying any classes,martial arts ,trampolining,football etc lots goin on quite cheap and you can spend time with your baby girl.If its not for you no worries Sov just a thought to help give you a break ,big hugs x

coffee one sounds fab patience

Patience, sending you virtual hugs. I know the pain can be horrific but it does pass. Hang in there & be kind to yourself

Waves to all........

guys help me. exdp came in this morning and went through my mobile so now knows the 'finer' points of what happened on date. went nuts at me in front of the kids said i was no better than a pikie on a council estate. i know i did nothing wrong, but i am in a right mess. he has no right to touch my things. this is exactly what happened before, so name changed as a result. might have to do so again. so if someone crops up with a different name but an excellent taste in clothes you know where its at. x

Beebers, > he really shouldnt have done that at all
You haven't done anything wrong by moving on with your life, he's just jealous that your not pining for him anymore
I'm probably the least qualified right now to give anyone advice but i know i would be very angry/upset to find my XP had moved on and it seems that is what ur XP has done, he shouldnt have done it in front of the DC

I really cant think of anything to say to make you feel better but think he's a for doing that IMO if you cant handle the truth dont go looking for it

beebs - what you did was not wrong the relationship with your h is over and you are free to do whatever you want when you want to. but of course you know this already.

he has NO right to say this to you he had an affair and then says this to you?

it was always going to happen of course all of these men think that their wives/partners will become asexual beings once they are gone and not feel the need to indulgence in such pleasures

put a password on your phone
put a password on your pc
name change on a regular basis

i came on for some advice too lol

My XP says he isnt "in love with me" but that a part of him still loves me
I'm a bit confused because i thought the "in love" bit only lasted a short time anyway then settled down into just loving someone, am i wrong?
I thought being "in love" was when your knees go weak when they kiss you and your heart jumps when you see them or hear from them
I'm a 30 yo woman and now think i dont know what love really is????

I'm confused because those things i described dont happen to me anymore and havent for a long time but i know i love him and cant imagine myself loving anyone else, soo confused now

if you can't handle the truth don't go looking for it - v good point sov.

i have said all this to him of course, he has accused me of being a liar! I haven't lied about anything. He asked me whether he needs to go and get 'tested' as he assumes it was going on for months. just sick to back teeth of whole situation. i am sat here feeling sick when i know i have not done anything wrong!

beebs have some of my spare teflon

ignore these words of his - he has done what is accusing you of, you have not done it to him

he is projecting some of his own guilt on to you - oldest trick in the book.

breathe - you know the truth that is what matters you know you have done nothing wrong. rise above.

oh there you all are misleading post

thanks i will take that teflon from you, i did say all this of course, just saying i am disgusting (text was pretty graphic) i did say curiosity killed the cat.

i got all confused there for a minute

was the text from you or was it to you