ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched No. 6

[gettingeasier]

Cant survive 5 minutes without this thread

Did you just leave it then? I have to get rid of them.

A kiss? Tell me more

a kiss ???????

lucky cow

Thankyou for the welcome- wow this thread is busy- I work nightshift and have just got in.

My DCs are DS nearly 13, DD1,11 and DD2 6.

I don't know where to start with my ex, but I do know it is the best thing that happened, him moving out, even though it is painful

Over the years I have become a shadow of myself, i was dreadfully unhappy with his emoltional distance and inability to communicate, his mental health problems, his rages, his drinking, (am in recovery)...anyway...i am building myself back up, focussing on myself and the kids, while he makes a fool of himself trying desperately to screw on e of my 'frinds', but that is all irrelevent, I am learning to deal with things properly, instead of hiding, or drinking to hide, and it is hard but ultimately I think it will be worth it...does that make sense?

I need to go to bed as I am shattered...thanks again for the welcome

It must be hard with your son living with him, did he choose to I take it at age 13? Hopefully he'll soon see his father for who he truly is and move back with you

Your story sounds very hard, such as him now living by your best friend. Complicated and difficult. Sleep well Jem x

Hi Jem,

is this the friend that he has moved next door to?

it is great that you have recognised that you are better off without him as your partner... that is a huge step.

It is hard but you are doing all the right things it sounds by focussing on the important stuff that surrounds you and your dcs - it must be very hard for you if ds has chosen to live with his father.

all your efforts now will pay off and it will be worth it in the long run - now is the time for you to get back to the whole you and not just the diluted version that now exists.

we will all help you as much as we can - if at any point you need to come on and just vent then go ahead. we all have good and bad days.

x

well i would not be a lady if i went into anything but put it this way, i got mine girls, i got mine xxx

Hi everyone
Just wanted to share and give hope to all.
After the most horrendous year of my life (and believe me I have had bad times before) I feel fabulous.
I have had my first collaborative solicitors meeting with stbexh this week.
I looked great but felt crap, however needn't have worried as it went well. I was able to face him over the table and not get emotional or angry.
In fact I looked at him without feeling much and just thought f* him.
It can be done, what an achievement, well for me anyway.
Also new bf is lovely, so caring and sexy, I keep looking for the catch but so far so good.
Keep smiling everyone x

Got mine? and

I'm just butting in on this thread to say hi to partytime - hi!

Sounds like all is going well with your new guy and how wonderful he sounds. Caring AND sexy, what a great combo you have there!

Well done for being so strong re: your soontobeExH. I'm sure you're kids must love the strength in you too. Have they met new man yet?

Loves - yes they have met him, and liked him. I haven't met his yet but he wants me to soon. I'm meeting friends of his first this weekend, which I am finding quite nerve wracking,as he speaks very highly of them, they must be important to him rather than casual friends you meet down the pub.

Well done PT i remember you saying he messed you about re this meeting so glad he turned up and you can move forward from it.Glad new man is working out x
BB glad you had a nice time
Jem well done re ur recovery.IME it truly is a more peaceful life/home when you choose to get off the merry go round that is living with an unstable,negative bloke .
Waves to everyone.... Tai Chi lovely this morning x

Waves to all....

Well after posting on pets board & googling up on it, I now realise I was clueless about dog/kennels. My friend is scatty beyond belief so I can't blame her really. I had no idea dogs needed to be vaccinated before going into kennels. You live & you learn. I'll know better next time!

Beebers, date sounds v exciting. However would love if you were less ladylike & gave us all the gorey details . Am fascinated that you could just allow spider to dissappear in house

Patience, tai chi sounds like a great start to the day.

Partytime, good luck with meeting NM's friends. Sounds like you're doing great. You do indeed bring hope .

Jem, your xh sounds similiar to mine . It sounds like your life will be so much easier without him in it. Must be v v hard with him so close to you & with your friend .

Armbow, hope park went well & that you enjoyed the sunshine.

Tea, did a diploma in psychology first & then started a degree course in counselling last yr. I've done first year but can't manage the times next year with dc's. The only other course that offers the same standard of accreditation will not accept me onto 2nd year as they have 60 students themselves that completed 1st year & have only 30 places in 2nd year. It means starting over again & no guarantee of a place in 2nd yr but tbh I'm v lucky to have got the offer so will give it a shot & hope for the best .

Waves to Pink, Happy, Mumfun & anyone else I've forgotten

Getting, hope you are enjoying your childfree time.

LC, hope all's going well with you.

Btw my b'day is fast approaching & have been entertaining thoughts of perhaps organising a b'day celebratory shag

So Starting is that like organising a purchase on Amazon or something , you make it sound like a straightforward thing ???

I think maybe the same thing happened to you on holiday then as me ie sight of gorgeous men woke up parts that have lain dormant in my case 10 months. Those surf dudes are my perfect physique not too beefy but sculpted..

Patience hope you've had a chilled day and btw yes my coasteering coach was a woman ! How are you feeling now about your h being gone ? In many ways it sounds good you are so busy theres no time to brood. I have my Lundy Barcroft book which I have scanned but it does seem for more extreme men ? Anyway I will give it a proper look soon.

Party that sounds brilliant struggle to imagine that for me and h but you never know and you have a lovely man too - lucky girl!

I have had a lovely day had my mind sorted by therapist this morning and feet/legs sorted by beauty therapist this afternoon !! The dc have got to their grandparents now and I gather theres lots planned so thats good . I am not missing them yet , thank goodness for mobile phones so I know I can text/phone if I want to.

How's the Critter household - hope you are ok

I read the human rights thread last night and couldnt believe such smugness especially on the relationship thread clearly the op hasnt read any of our threads !

Waves to Tea Armbow et al

Getting your day sounds fab! It's wasn't only the holls, I was reading Irvin Yalom's "Lying on the Couch" & it kinda inspires you to grab life with both hands & not to waste opportunities. It talks about the regrets people can have etc & I was thinking apart from cases of infidelity or if you hurt someone would you really ever regret the sex you do actually have?? Am wondering if I should be utilizing my body before I reach my dotage??

As the universe has not seen fit to deliver me a suitable sexy male as a well deserved b'day present have been toying with the idea of a trip to puppy

This is prob illegal but for anyone on Match I've just been winked by starcity333 who unfortunately is not close enough for a b'day shag but may suit one of my dumpling friends in the north east area..............

Hi all plus welcome to Jem. Always nice to see someone new in our merry band.

Too much happening with you all to comment on everything so will just lurk and watch the action.

No doubt there will be updates on sh*ing, spiders, candles and the odd twuntish XH on thread later

P.S. Hoping to get some surfing in myself in the next couple of weeks.

Thankyou for the welcome everyone .

Off to bed.

Night Jem

Just surfing on Amazon, which department is it for a bloke? I'm thinking new rather than second hand although apparently some of the second hand ones are in quite good condition. I'm thinking express delivery as free delivery can take a while.

Order one for me too Happy please & defo make it express delivery

That will be a BOGOF then. Better watch the sell by dates, you wouldn't want something old and manky would you?

I already had the old & manky version ........

don't go for the version that it all pomp but no substance - they are lightweights

have a look for me will you, i need

big strong arms to make me feel secure
taller than me - this is vital
a kind face
someone who is content and realises when they have a good thing

yes one of those would be lovely.

i had an interesting discussion with friend when i went to the park yesterday - she said that h has been going out with friends 13 years his junior seeming to be living the life of a carefree 19 year old lad - it is very cringe-worthy - he is ticking every mid life crisis box there is.

surely he will tire of this party lifestyle one day and see that it has actually got him nowhere - when i went out last week it upset me to think that he would prefer that sleazy shallow world to a comfortable stable home.

but perhaps he is that far removed from me now that i no longer know him and this sort of lifestyle is what he needs right now - perhaps he is going back to what he was doing before him and i met - i could understand this because that would make sense.

i can see 2 h's at the moment the man who comes round my house who is telling me he is struggling and stressed with everything and then i hear tales of his nights out and get the impression form mutual friends that maybe he is OK.

so who is he trying to fool them or me ????

perhaps he is telling me he is struggling because he thinks it would hurt me too much to know that he is happier now.

i know in reality it makes no difference to my situation but i want to know how i should be feeling about him - i don't want to be a mug and be a doormat as he laughs at how gullible i am for falling for his martyr act while all the while he is living it up with mates that are still at uni.

All of a sudden i feel like the only adult in the relationship