Absolutely fuming, please help me calm down before I do something.

[TrappedinSuburbia]

Came home today lunchtime, went to speak to ds (16)who was lying in bed (ie get the washing hung out that I asked you to do before I left this morning).
He stayed in his room the rest of the day, I was up in the next room tidying ds (5) room for a while, not a peep from next door, assumed he was on computer or such like.
Roll on past dinner time, shout them both for dinner.
Roll onto ds (16) leaving for football training (im out in front garden) followed by his girlfriend!
I say 'where did you come from' to which she said 'i've been here all day' as they were both leaving.

What would be your conclusion.
Mine is they were up in his room bloody shagging, I did not see her in the room and the way he was lying in bed there could have been someone in it (I obviously wasn't thinking along those lines though).
I'm bloody raging, the total disrespect, younger ds could have walked in, not to mention teenage pregnancy.

non advice from me, but wanted to offer a "yikes!"

blimey...thats a bit naughty of him.

So thats the conclusion you would draw then?
Dp says I should wait and hear his explanation, what bloody explanation, idiot!

errrrr. maybe he went to put the washing out, she snuck him without him knowing, she hid all afternoon and sneaked out behind him when he left for footie, just ready to scare him because he didn't know she was in his room?????

Is it really worth fuming about?

He is 16 and providing GF is too then I think you need to back off a bit.

You are of course entitled to tell him that you don't want him having sex in your house but then you have to accept that they may make themselves vulnerable by having sex elsewhere.

Also the younger DC catching them at it is a bit of a non point since he clearly hid it from you...

sensibly though, i think i'd be more miffed that he'd not had the decency to let you know his girlfriend was with him, surely its common decency to say hello (for her to you i mean)??

what they get up to, you won't have much control over i'm sure.....

I wouldn't just assume they were having sex, depends on them though, and you know your son best. He is 16 though so I'd be reinforcing safe sex etc.

Well I think I'd be a bit annoyed but well I don't think I'd be fuming.

Make sure you talk about contraception but if they're 16 then they probably will have sex won't they?

No they will not be having sex in my house.

You mean...they will not be having sex in my house again

Or that you know about.

Its a tricksy area and I know some people just don't allow it.

I would have a calm conversation with him so perhaps leave it till tomorrow about respecting your wishes.

Well they are gonna have sex somewhere ...I wouldn't be fuming ..would have a safe sex talk ...anyway they might have been watching a dvd or something

I would tell him that is not acceptable behaviour, as there are younger DC's in the house.

I would also be telling him that it is taking the piss to be in bed shagging the girlfriend and the very least he could have done was hang the bloody washing out.

And last, but by no means least, I would be telling him to keep it in or keep it covered.

Or - no they will not be having sex in my house....to my knowledge. I'm sorry but you just can't control teenagers like that - they are excellent at hiding things! I mean - you didn't notice them at it this avo did you?

He's cheeky to not have even consulted you. I wouldn't go OTT ape shit at him, though. Sit him down, have a stern but calm word with him: NO guests unless I say so, and if it happens again I will be ringing her parents and the riot act will be read all round.

Unless he comes up with an out of this world explanation she will not be in this house again.

If I had her parents number I would have called them by now.

I think you need to take a lot of deep breaths,
Yes, the deceit was bad. The failure to sort the washing was bad. BUT:
a) they're above the age of consent - it's not your business.
b) they're clearly in some sort of relationship and like each other. He's not having one night stands.
c) If they're going to have sex, they'll have sex. Much better it's somewhere safe.
d) Teenage pregnancy is only an issue if you haven't had a talk re contraception, so that's your call.

This is his first girlfriend, they've been dating a few months, at first he used to say, is it ok if xxx comes up to my room and it was no bother make sure door is open.

He's taking the piss.

Can you remember being 16? Can your DH? I really think you're being a bit harsh. At least sleep on it - don't say anything tonight.

Yes, I totally agree with Hassled.

Eh yes it definetly is my business.
This is my house.

I don't get why not allowing them to have sex in your house means they will be vulnerable if they have it elsewhere.

Yes, when I was 16 I was working and had my own flat.
Im sick of this 'being an adult' at 16 when it suits them and acting like a child when it suits them.

I suggest a large g&t!

Yes, lets see how happy her parents would be for them to be shagging in her bedroom.