Old Bags No More - The Brave Babes & the Battle with the Booze

[MoominMags]

Well, here we go ladies (and MIFLAW)! The new thread to follow on from JWN's 'me and alcohol have ruined my family'. I hope no one minds that I decided to go with 'brave'? I just think that it describes us!

As a quick recap, I am 33 and on day 22 of sobriety (on this occasion!)

Hi Lucilastic, nice to see you joining in here on a Friday evening. I don't think I have alcoholics in my family, or maybe they're just all very good at being secret drinkers. I know I was. I think though that you'll find that many others do have family histories of drinking. This might be your chance not to show your kids how to do it, IYSWIM.

Good to see you Christi and well done on your night out last night. Doesn't it feel good to wake up in the morning and not feel crap. I think I'd stopped noticing just how bad I felt.

Cat, Trinity, if you're around you know we'll be thinking of you. Sleep well.

Cat - well done!

I know what you mean re the shop. I used to be the same. I'd make it just as it shut.

It got to the point where the guy would have the bottle of white waiting on the counter for me.

So WELL DONE!!!!

Hey Cat, just a few more minutes, the shop will be shut and you will have done it. One day is good enough for today.

And it will mean that out of the last 3 days, you have been sober for 2 of them.

Mouse, I'm glad you're going to put the new link up, it would take me a while to figure that one out.

venus

I'll do it just before I go to bed, I'lll start the new thread. Do you want me to use the 'headline' I did earlier?

I think JWN said to use it - 'Brave Battling Babes Booze No More'?

And then I'll link it to this thread.

Suddenly had a littl panic about not drinking tomorrow night. Why am I thinking so far forward? It's going to be a really boozy occasion, private room at a swanky place and I don't know many people going. I can hold onto my 'I've got an interview coming up' excuse but I am worried that I will succumb and it's Day 7 tomorrow and I really don't want to!

'I really don't want to do it'

CTS

THEN DON'T! So, you have the interview excuse, yes? How about you try something I read by MIFLAW, I think? (where is he BTW?)

Get your own first drink. Get 'something' with tonic or lemonade or cola. So, if anyone asks, it's JD and cola, a sprizter, G&T. All of the previous WITHOUT the booze!

Who's to know? And don't let anyone buy you a drink....... sip that drink all night and only get your own refill.

Or/and you are on mage anti b's for an tooth absess, chest infection, ingrown toenail - whatever!!

And take the car if you drive.

God, where is MIFLAW and his list? Go back a few pages, you'll find it!

It's genius. Someone else had the same wobble as you.

YOU CAN DO THIS BUT ONLY IF YOU WANT TO.

Sorry CTS, ignore the 'it' on my quote.

Thank you mouse, I will keep this in mind, no-one needs to know. I am sitting here on my own (DH is at his work leaving drinks since he was made redundant) and was dwelling. I guess I have found the first week not bad at all and worried that I was coasting a little and I just should be pleased that this is the first Friday since I was about 18 weeks pg with DD2 that I haven't had a glass of wine.

Thank you for the encouragement, really.

I'll search for MIFLAW's words of wisdom.

CTS - you ARE doing really well!! Look at how far you have come.

Further than me! I'm not entering sobriety yet.

The nights alone are hard, You think feck it! And the next thing you know, you are 3 or 4 or 5 glass down and then think well, I've started so I'll finish.

What ever happens is up to you. Imagine just how bloody brilliant you'll feel not drinking and waking up after the party to a 'I did it!!'

I wish that we all had a little drink fairy with us in times of need to keep the boost going....... to hold our hands........ to say hang on, this is why you shouldn't drink......

But we don't. We only have ourselves and our pride.

Which is worse, waking up feeling like drink kicked your ass or waking up without a hangover and thinking that you kicked drink's ass the night before?

Thank you! And I really want the interview on Tuesday to go well and I know if I drink I'll really jeapordise that (sorry rubbish spelling)

And mouse you're doing well too how has it been tonight?

evening all
day 1 under my belt

well done Trinity.
How you feeling? Sorry you had such a shit night last night.
But onwards and upwards you're a brave woman.

House clean and sparkly?

the girls bedrooms are sparkling

they have been properly gutted, completely

carer startd with me this morning but then I carried on

she has set me a target of keeping the little girls room tidy, buying cloths and paper towels and doing as much washing as I can

she will be back on monday to attack my room

Trinity

Well done you. Seriously, you picked yourself up and sorted your ass out this morning and got through today.

WELL DONE!!!!!

CTS

I'm okay. I've drunk less again tonight. I've watered my vodka down more. And DH is now onside.

About 6.5 years ago I was told I was alcohol dependant. I was just out of a very violent relationship. An abusive and cruel relationship. A relationship that destroyed me. Who I was. What I wanted.

I never want to get to that stage again which is why I need to act. And NOW!!!

I think this thread is brilliant and has so many different folks in tow....... you can't not find support.

Wow trinity that sounds fantastic, well done you. On a hangover too - that must have been hideous.

Mouse, poor you. I went out with - in fact was engaged to someone abusive once. Not very violent, only a couple of times, but verbally very bad. Also came out of it addicted to drinking (well, I was probably fairly bad before but not THAT bad) and also cocaine. Kind of f*cked me up too.

I am so sorry that you have been on such an awful journey. Is DH understanding and compassionate? Please don't think that you have been destroyed, we all know that you can build yourself up again. You made the decisions you made then because with what you knew and felt they were the best decisions. You can't change them. You are getting stronger now and I know you'll do what's right for you.

Hi Trinity,
Well done for today!!! You sound so much better than this time yesterday!

I can't sleep now after my extended teatime nap. DH has gone to bed and I'm debating whether to do some quiet cleaning or just play on-line patience (another of my addictions!) Think another cup of tea is called for.

Mouse, you are also doing brilliantly, strange how well I feel I know all you computer fairies - I've never used any on-line forums before and I love it, I think because we don't "know" one another we can be completely honest on here in a way that I would find very painful in real life.

Do any of you have young children? I feel hugely anxious and pathetic that although my kids cared for adequately and I never get pissed when they are around if their father isn't there to look after them, at the best, I am going to look back on these years with guilt and regret or at the worst, my girls are going to hate me for fucking up their childhoods.
Think it's time I went to bed.
Night everyone.

CTS

Wow! Coke here too which is why I used cola when talking about your drinks!!

'HE' Introduced me to coke. I love it. Yes, present tense but have not had any in 6.5 years. Since I left.

So, onwards and upwards!!

GW

I feel that way too, like I 'know' you all. I feel so at ease here. Like I can tell you I've been drinking and I can say how much.

Yes, DH has changed his tune. He is more on board tonight than he has been all week. I am really pleased but don't need him to do this for me.

I just want him to see why I am cutting down. The drink is my blanket. It hides me. From my XP. From my fears.

Thing is, I don't have to hide. He can't hurt me anymore. I'm safe now. I am loved and I am slowly, getting back to being 'me'.

Tomorrow is a new day!!!

Will sort the new link/thread in a mo.

My DH is still not back from his drinks...

Anyway, I'm off to bed.

Mouse, I'm so glad you don't have to hide. I know if you stop drinking too then you will also be able to face your fears and get back to being you more quickly. Have you had therapy?

Lucilastic I have DD1 4 yo and DD2 13mo. The regret stops now!

lucilastic

I have three girls, 10, 5 and 3

they've lost their dad

their mum is going to sort her shit out

Trinity you go girl

Now I MUST go to bed, seems I'll be on duty tomorrow morning as DH will be pitifully hungover. and I need him to take charge of the kids because I have to do my interview prep. Gawd.

CTS

I can help you prep for your interview if you like. I used to be in recruitment - I was nice, I promise!!!

Sleep well.

Trinity

I hope you sleep well too lovely.

Well done again.

hello lovley babes!

had a lovely evening, even though he had us watching wolfman!, blokes eh

lovely to meet you lucilastic - i have to tell you - i have a cat called lucilastic! , a dear little ginger one, very tiny, she was found wandering as a very little kitten - she loves me!! (yes, my family do call me the mad old cat lady! )

it seems that quite a few of us have been damaged by ex partners, not really an excuse to drink, but says quite a lot to me about 'why' we do. i used it as a crutch, always hoping it would be me courage and then used it to sort of find oblivion to the crap going on around me - i have decieded that in giving up, i am also sticking 2 fingers up at him, sort of, 'no you arsehole, you really havent beaten me, i am sooo much stronger than you ever realised'

well done everyone on a lovley sober day! i am off to bed, got a busy day tomorrow!

love to all, you are all bloody fantastic and tomorrow

WE WILL NOT BE DRINKING!

see you all in the morning xxxxxxxxx

Thanks, will check out that thread Mouseface.
TBH my fear is that DP will never realise I hhave a problem with drink. He likes a few (2/3 cans a night) but I only join him at weekends..my problem is once Ive started I can't stop.
A lot of our relationship and "good times" is based on drink.
If I face up to my problems I'm scared me and DP have no future without drink.
Going to go to bed. Kids are asleep. Suspect DP is out on the lash in some club in the West End...good for him. I can't be arsed anymore. I just want to get pissed...I know, not good.

New thread is here

Be back tomorrow. I have had five drinks tonight, all were weaker than the norm and there is STILL a full bottle of vodka in my kitchen.

This time last week, I would've run out.

Night. xx