Archers - who wants to kill Helen?

[seeker]

Form an orderly queue...........

Mrs Flittersnoop- do you mind my asking where your name comes from? tis veeeery familiar, but am hoping you'll save me the trouble of racking my brains/googling

Gosh, nothing against JP at all and used to listen to him on R1 but that programme is the reason I switched off R4 permanently and now no longer have a clue what is going on in the Archers .

...so far I have either Professor Branestawm (?) or Mrs Pepperpot

I am married to Professor Branestawm and have posted at length on MN about the joys of living in an Uber-Geek / Differently Wired / Aspie household!

"Mrs Flittersnoop was Professor Branestawm's patient and efficient housekeeper who kept neat and tidy order amongst the chaos. Whatever the disasters going on around her, she could be found serving tea, lemonade and cake, or preparing good, sensible sit-down meals".

aaaah, I see

..had completely forgotten about Professor Branestawm. I went out with him years ago. He was a physics student and spent most of his time scrawling figures on bits of paper and chucking them over his shoulder while house burnt down round him

Back to the Archers - Ruths OK. She can't help saying Daviiiid, its her Northumbrian accent. And she was so right to stop him getting out of the car and doing his heavy Victorian father line in front of Pips mates.

But I'm trying to think of a totally sane, thouroughly decent and nice female character in the archers and I'm not sure we've had one since the late lamented Mrs Antrobus, remeber her? Hmmm... in the younger generation Hayley's all right but she doesn't get much air time nowadays.

I think Phil has died. Someone tell me I'm right.

Phil has died in RL not sure about in Archer land.

Phil is due to die shortly... I will be sobbing over the washing up and DD will give me pitying looks.

And if we mow down all the female characters then what on earth will I be left to listen to? Eddie and his van? Ed and his pasteurising unit? Adam and his poly tunnels? Kenton and his bar plans? No, please let's keep the women - at least they have opinions on stuff.

Well they've got to do something about the fact that the actor has died. Although they happily replaced Hayley but I guess a dead person is rather different to Jasper Carrott's daughter gone to find fame in Hollywood.

Kirsty is nice. And sane. And I like Jolene too but she did have an affair with a married man. The men aren't much better to be fair

First up against the wall: Shula.
Last: Linda.

have heard the Archers for many years, but only just started listening iykwim, as has dp

..is Linda the posh one with the ciggies and the dp in chokey? I luuuuuurve her

No that's Lilian, and I love her too. I also quite like Fallon, she's pretty decent and does not have a strangulated voice.

Linda is superficially dreadful but underneath, very sound and good-hearted and intelligent, so I like her depsite her exaggerated voice.

My death list goes:

1. Shula, slowly and painfully
2. Helen ... I will allow her a quick death
3. Nigel and Lizzie in one fell swoop

despite

I am catching up but please God could someone shut Susan in a chest freezer.

Me, me I'll I'll Helen! She wants drowning in slurry.

I'd bump off Linda too. Sure she offers value for money, but I know soooo many people just like her.

Lol at "Daaaaaviiidddddddd". Also see "Eddddaaaayyyyyy".

R4 - think you must be right. Wondered about the significance of background siren last night.

I've wanted to kill her for about 10 years now...at LEAST...but haven't listened to it for about 5 which helps a bit.

What has she done now?

Btw I have actually complained to Natwest actionline because the woman on that sounds EXACTLY like Helen Archer and it makes me feel quite scared to ring up...but they kept her anyway. Maybe it instills the required level of healthy 'respect' in their phone customers.

08457 888444

if anyone wants to try it

Honestly she sounds such a bitch, whoever she is.

Agree that lilian is fab. Helen shot ahead of susan and linda (who got a reprieve from
death row over the dsd story line but went back in for the green cemetery and trying to be chairwoman).

Need to hear end of last night - did annette go and did she fess up re leon?

Yes annette went but no confession, far too dull, Helen v.sad so no doubt will become aneroxic again. sure it will all come out eventually but the archers do have a tendency to forget about story lines

Doh -was looking forward to it coming out . I hope Helen does fade out as bored of her

Poppy and Missmapp, (and anyone else) can you help me over here, pls?

Thank you Princess Fiori. I have been over on the Archers mesageboard and am a bit disconcerted surprised that no-one on there seems to have picked up on it.

I don't think it is impossible that Helen will hear about it some other way. Leon isn't exactly discreet and it may well get back to her, if not directly from him, then in a roundabout gossip way.