Archers thread #186: Eavesdropping on a home for the terminally confused. Discuss The Archers here.

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Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

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Thanks to @WitcheryDivine for the title inspiration. Over to you!

Did I dream it, or was there some mad provision that ALL of them had to go on the holiday, together? Otherwise they got nothing at all - not even the 13 shillings and fourpence or whatever it was (it was certainly not enough to cover much more than a charabanc and a long weekend in Loxley Barrett).

gosh yes! she was a controlling ol' witch!

Money was being left for them all to go on holiday together, but I don't think that the legacy was contingent on all her descendents going on it.

I think losing the £285, or whatever it was, would be a small price to pay to avoid such a holiday.

If they booked a week in a massive all inclusive in turkey ir Greece they wouldn’t even have to spend much time together

wouldn't be my choice of holiday but as it’s free…

Imagine going on holiday with anyone from Ambridge. Maybe Brian, Fallon (without Harrison) Kirsty and Rex - the rest , no way.

Did the holiday have to be somewhere “foreign”? Could we just send them all to Burgh Island, so that they could have a sort of “Evil Under the Sun” mash-up!

I want mungo to come back to the village (is he a teen by now) and be a total square and wants to be called Gary

@Gonners just to send some support as I recognise that stage with my dad. Frustrating and complex. I did send you a heart emoji but having skimmed the discourse between the big names on the thread I now don’t know if that’s a good thing to do or not 😉

Back on the Archers - I just want Harrison to go for good tbh so that issue can be put to bed, if he’s not coming back as he’s on CS now. I would have preferred them to address the issue via a proper dialogue between Fallon and him about their ultimately incompatible views about children and have that play out in a realistic way with the resulting impact on their family/friends as they split up etc… but doing things in a slow burn fashion seems beyond the SW now so I don’t mind a story where he meets someone off-air etc as per speculation up thread. It’s a shame as thinking about it they put a lot into the build up with his conversion/baptism, their ongoing tension about kids, the car crash/miscarriage - there could have been a more realistic ending to their relationship (and in terms of storytelling and timing it could have actually mirrored a possible Chris and Alice reunion while H/J split up).

Things were going swimmingly at the shop with Susan tussling with the boxes but then we heard the inevitable ‘hiya’ and Joy turned up. Sigh. I just don’t get it.

We also didn’t need Mr Malik to be the first customer in the village to need a mallet. Such a strange choice. As @Gonners says, he would have a whole shed full of them and is probably the last person to need one. In fact, it could have been almost anyone else in the village apart from David or Tony.

That keeps customers coming back. Not mallets - didn't Susan make some reference to campers sometimes coming in and asking for mallets? Which campers? It's the first I've heard of them - I've certainly never heard any campers in the shop. Completely agree re Harrison @Yardbird - all that time adding bits to his character, most of it unsatisfactory, what a waste of time that was. He definitely needs to meet someone to have a baby with as that actually would be quite realistic, I'm just not sure how likely that would be living in police accommodation on an undercover operation (or whatever he's supposed to be doing). Once again, it feels like the SWs don't really know Harrison - despite inventing him.

Why do so many campers forget their mallet?

if I had forgotten my mallet I would try and improvise, ask someone on the site to borrow one or ask the campsite owner. I wouldn’t go to a small village shop to buy one

He definitely needs to meet someone to have a baby with as that actually would be quite realistic, I'm just not sure how likely that would be living in police accommodation on an undercover operation (or whatever he's supposed to be doing). It's not unknown for undercover cops to father children but Harrison would probably break the mould by leaving Fallon and the Force to be with the bebeh.

I’ve just had a terrible thought. If most of the characters go on holiday together then there will be just a few left in Ambridge for the week… meaning a whole week of unadulterated Joy!

If Justin wants to do something more meaningful with whatever time he has left on the planet, he could put time and more money into the re-wilding project. Working in partnership with Kirsty and Rex, accepting they have the passion and expertise, rather than throwing his weight about.

You shouldn't attach conditions to gifts; Peggy trying to control everyone from the grave, horrid woman.

I’d like to know what Kirsty and Rex do all day on the project. I mean its very name suggests minimal input doesn’t it?

Im still cross that there has been little discussion from the recipients about the strangely specific amount they all received.I hope the reason for that gets revealed. And I also still think its out of character for Tom and Natasha not to be absolutely raging that they haven’t received a large inheritance

Wouldn't the storyline be full of holiday japes?

I have to say (and maybe I'm the only one) I liked the scene with Arthur- I found it really touching and I think just a conversation between say Tom and Helen about the money going to a good cause would have felt like an anti climax.

If they all go on holiday together, half of Ambridge will be empty.
There could be a crime spree, but more importantly, presumably they usually rely quite a lot on each other to look after dogs etc, let alone the farms, on the occasions they do go away. So how's that going to work?

Peggy always was controlling, so continuing after death is no great surprise (but sad for Tony in particular.)

And can buy at wholesale prices...

The rewinding needs maintenance, checking up, etc. Also they get visitors, school parties and I'm sure there's camp site

I'm hoping for a Line of Duty style twist where he hooks up with the DP of the Chief Gangster in the OCG. She becomes upduffed by she knows not who....

He’s not undercover though is he - the man can’t keep a secret

I was just thinking if they stock crow bars as they are quite out dated as a baseball bat is now the weapon of choice in dramas now., good for bashing but not for levering. Anyway the DIY stuff that Susan has ordered must be the cheap stuff you find in the pound shop, so no good to man nor beast.

They obviously stock crowbars. One was used last night to insert Pa Malik into the storyline. There's also a plentiful supply of shoe horns.