Archers thread #186: Eavesdropping on a home for the terminally confused. Discuss The Archers here.

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Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

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Thanks to @WitcheryDivine for the title inspiration. Over to you!

Ok since we had mention of Harrison turning 40 - I always think he sounds as world weary as someone at least 55 - I’m doing a mental audit of the 16-40s in Ambridge and their relationship status.

Pip - partnered
Ben - single
Josh - possibly has a girlfriend
Rex - single
Lily - single
Freddie - single
Paul - single
Chris - single
Alice - single
Brad - single
Chelsea - single
Mia - single
George - single
Zainab - single
Fallon - married
Harrison - married

who have I forgotten?

That really is shocking when you see it written down.

No wonder the show is so bewilderingly dull currently.

@WitcheryDivine

Hannah single.

Far too much Joy in that episode. She brings me no joy at all.

We need

Dan (Hebden Lloyd)
Phoebe (not really, too dull and it would be disappointing if she had to come back to Ambridge.)
Noli
Sipho
Ruairi
Johnny

Every one of those stands to inherit something - land or money - in Ambridge.

@ExitPursuedByABare the character list doesn’t give Hannah’s dob but the actress is 49.

My gosh is she supposed to be under 40? Again in the Harrison old before time school.

Interesting list - I noticed we heard mention of Phoebe having a boyfriend. Did Dan get married or just bring a girlfriend back once?

Others single as far as we know.

Even getting into the 40-50 year olds we have Ed and Emma, Tom and Natasha, Jazzer (not sure of Tracey age) - but then Will, Kirsty, Hannah (if she’s older), Rochelle, Helen all single.

A change to your list

Harrison - disappeared
Fallon - soon to be divorced

Oh no I don’t want Noli back! But you are right , she should come back for the funeral

In fact of the main Ambridge families the only steadily settled offspring are Adam and Ian, Pip and Stella (what’s that been - 18 months only?), Tom and Natasha, Ed and Emma.

Not in any way saying that single characters aren’t interesting or stable but it does mean a certain lack of “families” or prospects of families where the parents are under 50 let alone under 40, and Ambridge is built on families.

Shula met Dan’s then girlfriend Dorothy a few years ago. (Much excited speculation amongst listeners who thought her name was BBC code for ‘Black Woman’.)

Pretty sure Shula later had news that they’d split up.

It does seem an awful shame that the two oldest offspring of Phil and Jill each have a sole, absent child. When I think about it, it’s really quite annoying.

Did I imagine it or did someone mention Phoebe coming to the funeral with a boyfriend? I don’t think she's down to be a speaking part. Maybe I misheard or dreamt it.

I didn't imagine it then.

Absolutely, @WitcheryDivine. In real life I’d be happy to know Debbie has a thriving career in Europe. In TA it’s just frustrating that she has no children to battle for inheritance.

(Although currently not even Freddie is getting a sniff of his. The SW really are rubbish at this.)

Oh yes - I remember that as a relative who was in the merchant navy got married around the same time and I sort of thought Dan would too. But nope.

In real life I’m pretty sure Lily would be shagging Rex just for something to do.

Judging by the photos I see from friends with kids in their 20’s-30’s, I think most of them have partners (and just a few have kids). It makes no sense that there is no budget for prospective dates (a great opportunity for somebody fresh out of drama school; a paid audition), but we get Joy/Mick and the even more implausible Rochelle (who seems to have the power of teleportation).

Not that I want to hear from him, but isn’t a bit daft that Mick hasn’t been scheduled with Dane? Since he seems to be the only person to have met and befriended the Gills it seems odd that he wouldn’t want to get to know his new “boss”.

I wonder whether the robovac will ever be mentioned again?

Sorry to barge in as a long time lurker. Just wanted to point out re:Martha and FAS that whilst she was being ferried around different caregivers during Alice’s relapse there was a lot of discussion about her temper tantrums, behaviour and general concern. Obviously it was spun like a normal reaction from a young child to not being with her mum anymore. But I wondered at the time if it was a reference to her having behavioural issues linked to Alice’s alcohol use during pregnancy. As Alice has been pretty silent since then I have no idea if Martha calmed down once she was back on the scene.

Leaving this here for any passing producers / SWs. (Although the complexities of this family’s situation - 27 landlords?! - leave me scratching my head.)

Labour’s policies mean we can’t survive as farmers in England — so we’re moving to France

https://www.thetimes.com/article/0baba523-2a59-439c-b632-40f70bbfaa72?shareToken=1426df83cc9c756b82c9ed13559d28b1

I am so over Joy being in every scene with every character . It’s giving me the rage.

I agree and she’d probably enjoy slumming it on the boat and avoiding being seen for fun. Which would make two characters more interesting in one go.

Kate and Jakob seem quite settled?

Am also totally over Joy being in every fecking scene, it feels like. For a blow in, it seems odd.

I quite enjoyed Clarrie saying it's doddle compared to the dairy, and the same pay, and no ugly tabard. Fuck you Helen and Susan!