🧦 Archers thread #133: Woolley socks it to them! Discuss The Archers and its Woolley thinking and plotting here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed. We don't all agree on all points and most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you would love to take part in the Mysteries, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please. We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/4197199--The-Archers-spoilers-thread-6-Cant-wait-for-7-02pm-Join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks to @ButtonSister and @BorsetshireBanality for title suggestions. I went with their idea in the interests of keeping the title fairly short.

@LillianGish and @FoxgloveSummers made cracking but longer suggestions, which (mashed up) will do a great job of kicking off our new thread.

Evictions (Tom and Tash), depictions (Bridge Farm Christmas card), conniptions (entire cast and crew of the Mysteries), convictions (Philip) and addictions (Alice) - what are our predictions for 2022 in Ambridge? All sure to make this the Best Ambridge Christmas Evah!

This thread should take us through to early January unless something very exciting happens (ha ha, fat chance). My predictions: this is a bit left field, but I wonder if Peggy will offer to buy the shop and flat so Tom and Gnasher (great coinage, whose was it?) can stay put. I don't believe Hazel is sincere about wanting to live in/regularly visit Ambridge. She's always been utterly two-faced and rotten to the core, why would she change now?

The Mysteries will, of course be a triumph and briefly borrowing the🔮 (sorry, Bore!) I expect we are going to hear them at some point over the New Year period.

Over to you!

Didn’t David and Ruth lay into Josh for keeping poor records when the dodgy farm equipment stuff was going on. Sounds like the pot calling the kettle black.

Yes, yesterday’s chaotic Brookfield scene is a bit at odds with the impression the SWs generally paint of Brookfield as the ideal, well ordered, never a single corner cut outfit that everyone else looks up to.

@Chemenger

Didn’t David and Ruth lay into Josh for keeping poor records when the dodgy farm equipment stuff was going on. Sounds like the pot calling the kettle black.

David had previously been admiring about how wonderfully well Josh kept his records.

It was all just part of the "Pip wonderful, Josh bad" attitude they have had for years. Why Josh is still living there to be shat on all the time I really cannot imagine.

Oh. With regard to this week's episodes, DH has just wandered by carolling away:

God rest ye merry, scriptwriters, let nothing you dismay
For ratings can be burièd in fuss for Christmas Day
Twelve pages is still all it takes to get your paltry pay
Glad tidings of issues and sex, issues and sex,
Glad tidings of issues and sex.

@AskingQuestionsAllTheTime

Oh. With regard to this week's episodes, DH has just wandered by carolling away:

God rest ye merry, scriptwriters, let nothing you dismay
For ratings can be burièd in fuss for Christmas Day
Twelve pages is still all it takes to get your paltry pay
Glad tidings of issues and sex, issues and sex,
Glad tidings of issues and sex.

This reminds me, how is the whole Home Farm family committee going to work now with Ruari away at university and so “busy” aka sulky that he can’t see Jenny and Brian when they are in London, never mind participate in farm decision-making, plus Alice basically absent?

Zoom calls?

Does anyone remember Ruth kindly explaining to Ed how to do farm bookkeeping? Doesn't look like Deavid follows her advice.

Different (new and ignorant of the programme) scriptie syndrome.

Yup.

It’s a pity. I don’t know how Brookfield would have evolved so successfully if their admin had been as inefficient as the SW pretends. (I hear what you say, FoxgloveSummers - but it’s really not the Brookfield way.)

@GoodPrincessWenceslas

This reminds me, how is the whole Home Farm family committee going to work now with Ruari away at university and so “busy” aka sulky that he can’t see Jenny and Brian when they are in London, never mind participate in farm decision-making, plus Alice basically absent?

Zoom calls?

Same as Debbie has been doing for ages?

There must be some quite well off young people in Ambridge given how many live at home.

I still can’t believe Kate has turned out to be more industrious than her eldest daughter

@GoodPrincessWenceslas, @AskingQuestionsAllTheTime my point was not about Ruari and Alice’s physical inability to be there- please credit me with half a brain!

It was that Ruari has (for now at least) disengaged with the family and probably does genuinely have a lot to think about with his degree- it’s unrealistic to imagine he’ll have sufficient time or up to date knowledge to participate properly in the discussions. I thought it ironic that he no longer has a proxy when he probably needs one more than ever. And Alice is unable even to participate in the raising of her own daughter- farm management is way down her list of priorities, and if she hasn’t stopped drinking her decision-making will be seriously impaired.

Ah, right. Misunderstood, apologies.

It is also probable that Adam's interest in attending to Home Farm's business will be reduced if he's not making money from the place in an immediate way, just waiting for Brian to die so he can cash in. Ditto Debbie. And I cannot see why either of them should be getting any sort of salary from the farm at this point, since neither does anything for it.

Heavens!

Surely not another divorce in the offing?

Has Usha gone completely mad?

Are there really adults who voluntarily wear reindeer antlers?

Usha seemed to me to be behaving much as she always does; totally self-absorbed, and picking on somebody.

For goodness' sake, does she really expect a vicar with seven parishes to spend the Sunday before Christmas sucking up to her and to his ghastly waster of a daughter rather than doing his job?

But what is the point of this strangeness?

Is it to leave Alan defenceless against an overly merry Shula?

Or to kill off one or both of his females off-screen?

Or, or, or …?

Stopped listening half-way through. The combination of Linda reheating the lame Hilary Noakes feud and Usha shrilly bullying a decent, reasonable, if boring man, was dreary beyond belief.

I can only be grateful for the fact that Usha has not been a regular in the cast since I started listening. I hope she has only been written back in, so she can be written out.

I thought Usha sounded different, she didn't used to overract like that...or is it just so long since I've heard her?

@purplesequins

on twins - a friend had twins and it turned out that they were from different dads. all came out after separation and contested paternity. I didn't even know that was possible in humans. I've heard about this with cats or dogs.

I once met some conceived a month apart- very rare apparently

Usha sounded like she’d had several wines. Maybe it’s a living with Amy thing.

That said I enjoyed her LTB/LTV and I hope she has a lovely Christmas and doesn’t come back.

I don't care what sort of Christmas she has, but I will second the "doesn't come back" thing: if I never hear her again it will be fine by me.

Intern- Welcome back to Zoom script meetings everyone.

SW1 -

Intern - your on mute.

SE1 - yes…welcome back. Now, the thing we need to bear in mind is that this is the listeners’ absolute favourite time of the year - Linda’s Christmas production. I want to make sure that this is a classic year so I want the drama and hilarious glitches and faux pas dialled up to the max (as the youngsters say). Keep up the good work everyone.

Intern - it seems that the Twitter campaign to convince people they enjoy the Christmas play is working, they’re very compliant but I’m afraid Mumsnet hates the Mystery play with a passion (no pun intended).

SW2 - nonsense, how could they, it’s a laugh a minute.

Intern- they don’t even think it’s a laugh a week.

SW1 - oh dear, young person, I think perhaps you just don’t appreciate their sarcasm. Try reading all their comments looking for irony.

Intern - if I read them, then assume they mean the exact opposite of what they have said, I can confidently say they love The Mysteries and are listening intently to every word. Also all of them will listen when it is broadcast, if I also reverse the comments where they say they won’t.

SW2 - what about Usha’s return, how do people like that.

SW3,4,5,6,7,8 - who?

“You’re on mute” obvs (and all the other mistakes) sorry.