💀 Archers thread #132: The Grim Reaper joined the cast; The Bard of Ambridge breathed his last. Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed. We don't all agree on all points and most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you think Shula will make an excellent vicar, or other unusual things.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please! We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/4197199--The-Archers-spoilers-thread-6-Cant-wait-for-7-02pm-Join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed.

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks to many of you for title suggestions. @JanglyBeads said that this thread had to be a Bert tribute so needed a rhyming title. From an excellent field, I chose the suggestion from @BorsetshireBanality (who also has a cracking username).

Check out the last thread for the other suggestions and various poetic offerings inspired by Bert Fry's passing. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/4349822--Archers-thread-131-A-time-to-plant-a-time-to-reap-Discuss-The-Archers-here

So, who'll get the bungalow? Rex, Stella, Pip? If Rex has to move, will he doss down beside his pigs at Lower Loxley? Or will Rex be a resident at Her Majesty's pleasure, having bumped off Trevor for being the world's most boring man? Now Freddie's on the case, are Russ's days at LL numbered? Will we ever hear Jill again, or was Bert just the first of many older cast members to be dedded?

Over to you!

I eat lentils often. The green ones. They are usually available in the pound shop and a bag is about 800g or I buy them in Waitrose
these

The lentil stew is usually lots of veg and lentils

Potatoes, spring greens, spinach, cabbage, carrots, celery, squash, etc

I might make it into a curry or something, but usually I skip the lentils if I do but the curry will have peppers and mushrooms in it too

The woman from the charity has the same weird delivery as Pip. A glottal stop before saying names. Most peculiar

But overall a boop-worthy episode!

I enjoyed it. I like the Bleak episodes

FoxgloveSummers
Mia having a go at Will’s ex career was believable (even though I don’t think Mia is a good actor! Heard her in something else recently urgh)

So amusing that the wet lentil is happy to bully and harangue anyone who doesn't fight back, like members of her far-too-long-suffering family, but crumples like a used tissue if someone is Not Nice to her.

Makes me wonder if the reason for her infesting Ambridge is that Daddy Andrew and Brother Jake tell her home truths instead of pandering to her...

Atta Chelsea.

@FoxgloveSummers, many of the BBC people were women, maybe your sister was one of them.
If so, they seemed really nice

Is the Bleak storyline going to end badly?

I know Mia's only going but she really is a pompous prig.

Depends what you mean by 'badly'; I mean, I think the tedious little sod becoming some kind of Ambridge mascot would be a v bad ending, but the signs are all there. I could yet be pleasantly surprised by a hole in the woods scenario, but I shan't hold my breath.

The worst thing about Mia is that she forces one to be Team Chelsea, which is not where one wants to be. Dreary little grotbag.

Mia's only young

I quite like Chelsea.

Surely the only possible outcome for the tedious Mia/Chelsea storyline is that they come to a grudging respect for each other which gradually (or not so gradually) develops into a romantic relationship? You read it here first!

Yeah I’m a bit worried about where this is going for Blake.

The charity woman sounded like a trafficker herself as she reassured Harrison not to worry as she would take care of Blake…

Someone upthread suggested a trite heartwarming Christmas reunion for the three horses and I think that’s more likely than a grim discovery of Kenzie’s body. The SWs will want to tie this story up with a shiny red ribbon. A romance between Blake and Chelsea is possible but unlikely as she is destined for greater SLs in the future eg a romance with Jonny…

Is Johnny related to her though?

Intrigued by the Mia n Chelsea storyline idea, I think Firm Friends is more likely. Eventually. Maybe they’re setting them up to be the next gen of frenemies like Susan and Clarrie.

Agree the charity woman sounded horrible AND I thought for a while it was Pip doing a voice.

Oh please let Hazel be trafficked or something. I had to stop listening the last times she showed up.

Chelsea and Johnny are not related.

The connection is that Johnny's half-sister is Chelsea's first cousin

His half sister?? I’m confused now. He doesn’t have one, does he?

Johnny Richards is the son of Sharon Richards and John Archer.

Kylie Richards is the daughter of Sharon Richards and Clive Horrobin.

Johnny and Kylie are the children of the same mother and different fathers. This makes them half-siblings.

Johnny has a half-sister, Kylie. She is Sharon and Clive Horrobin's daughter.

Johnny is Sharon's son and his father was John Archer

Sorry; Johnny's surname was changed when his mother married and is officially Phillips.

Why on earth was Mia making such a fuss about make-up for the play? Does she really think Mary had lily-white skin?

Mia thought Chelsea disliked her (in which supposition she was right) and therefore that Chelsea's only motive for doing anything, like "what Lynda had commanded she do", must be to humiliate Mia.

Self-centred much?

Later, she made sure that Lynda would think their not having done as they were told and worked out what make-up was needed for Mary was Chelsea's fault, which quite reasonably given that Mia was the one who had hysterically refused to do anything about it annoyed Chelsea.

Unfortunately Lynda, recognising a person similar to herself in ego, gave Mia sympathy and positive strokes rather than brisk words to the effect "then if you want to be in this play, you'd better do something about it now, hadn't you?"

Mia can't afford not to be in the part, because needs the play rehearsals to give her an excuse to spend nights away from her father, who seems not to be utterly sympatico to her every whim and is probably delighted to have a break from her fantods.

Oh gosh KYLIE she was a toddler when her mum and John were together i.e. pre-Johnny? I remember something about a caravan and nappies? A row? @AskingQuestionsAllTheTime am i misremembering?

So Chelsea's uncle shagged Johnny's mum, that's a bit close to home but a long time ago and not that unusual in a small village. Still weird that she's his sister's cousin though!

is it just me that thinks calling an unplanned pregnancy Johnny is funny

@FoxgloveSummers

Oh gosh KYLIE she was a toddler when her mum and John were together i.e. pre-Johnny? I remember something about a caravan and nappies? A row? *@AskingQuestionsAllTheTime* am i misremembering?

So Chelsea's uncle shagged Johnny's mum, that's a bit close to home but a long time ago and not that unusual in a small village. Still weird that she's his sister's cousin though!

is it just me that thinks calling an unplanned pregnancy Johnny is funny

His father's name was John so not that weird.

@FoxgloveSummers

Oh gosh KYLIE she was a toddler when her mum and John were together i.e. pre-Johnny? I remember something about a caravan and nappies? A row? *@AskingQuestionsAllTheTime* am i misremembering?

So Chelsea's uncle shagged Johnny's mum, that's a bit close to home but a long time ago and not that unusual in a small village. Still weird that she's his sister's cousin though!

is it just me that thinks calling an unplanned pregnancy Johnny is funny

Pat very kindly allowed Sharon to live in the caravan in her farmyard when Kylie was a baby and Clive had abandoned them. That was when fifteen-year-old John Archer developed his crush on her; she wasn't all that interested at that point. (She was then 19.) Peggy paid for him to go away to Brymore School to get him away from the Unsuitable Person on his doorstep. I don't actually remember anything in particular about nappies, but at that time Sharon was presented as a right slut, so she may well have left dirty ones lying around and upset Pat?

Sharon and John had an on-again off-again sexual affair for several years, after she'd been got a council house in The Green by the influence of George Barford. Pat once found a pair of Sharon's knickers in her bed after she'd been away on holiday leaving John in charge of the farm.

Johnny was named after his father; not particularly funny, therefore.