💀 Archers thread #132: The Grim Reaper joined the cast; The Bard of Ambridge breathed his last. Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed. We don't all agree on all points and most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you think Shula will make an excellent vicar, or other unusual things.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please! We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/4197199--The-Archers-spoilers-thread-6-Cant-wait-for-7-02pm-Join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed.

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks to many of you for title suggestions. @JanglyBeads said that this thread had to be a Bert tribute so needed a rhyming title. From an excellent field, I chose the suggestion from @BorsetshireBanality (who also has a cracking username).

Check out the last thread for the other suggestions and various poetic offerings inspired by Bert Fry's passing. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/4349822--Archers-thread-131-A-time-to-plant-a-time-to-reap-Discuss-The-Archers-here

So, who'll get the bungalow? Rex, Stella, Pip? If Rex has to move, will he doss down beside his pigs at Lower Loxley? Or will Rex be a resident at Her Majesty's pleasure, having bumped off Trevor for being the world's most boring man? Now Freddie's on the case, are Russ's days at LL numbered? Will we ever hear Jill again, or was Bert just the first of many older cast members to be dedded?

Over to you!

Never heard of old maid territory. Women get fancied by men at any age, as is the case with the other way round. There’s a running joke in my family about our “maiden aunt” who’s never been married but has had a lifestyle the exact opposite of that stereotype. Full of international adventures and dramatic love affairs (and LTRs).

@EBearhug

She's late 30s, isn't she?

Born on 5th May, 1981, so she is forty.

Oh! This year? Poor Kirsty. Was that another occasion for No Celebration at the Bull? (I don’t recall any wild partying.)

Another thing Philip took from her.

How old do we reckon the Fairbrethren are? They have been in Ambridge for 6 years and I always imagined them to be late 20's when they first arrived.

Weren’t they rugby players who also worked in the City or some such Bollox?

Yea, late 20s as they can’t have been great players or smart traders!

I mean late 20s rolling into Ambridge so mid 30s now

Isn't Rex a few years older than Toe B? Are they something like 34 and 29?
Rex had an injury that stopped his sporting career

I think of them as being about 36 and 33

You're right, ILS.

Rex was born on 11/7/1987.

On 13th July 2015 Rex Fairbrother told Elizabeth that he had been 28 the previous week and Toby was 23.

So Rex is now 34, Toby is 29.

Lynda would never behave as she’s being written tonight.

Utter nonsense!

Ooh, I should be on that birthday quiz programme

My guess was based on Toe B being about the same age as the ghastly one, and she'll be 29 in Feb IIRC

How could she dare consider getting Oliver to cancel Roy's leave? Totally unbelievable.

How could any hotel think of letting both the people running it take the weekend of New Year off? The place will be full of people celebrating, and nobody there to keep an eye on them.

One run by an increasingly witless old buffer like Stirling?

@AskingQuestionsAllTheTime

How could any hotel think of letting both the people running it take the weekend of New Year off? The place will be full of people celebrating, and nobody there to keep an eye on them.

The duty-rota is arranged by Roy. You'd think he might have noticed.

I’m not the only one who just can’t stand Helen, am I? The trauma and resulting legal fallout with Rob was so well done IMO and I had so much empathy for her situation but in day to day life - particularly how she speaks to Kirsty, and others like Clarrie and even Natasha - I just can’t bear her.

You are not alone.

Helen came up against someone more systematically controlling than she is herself when she encountered Rob, but in general Helen is a very unpleasant person in her relations with everyone, particularly in the way that she has bullied and browbeaten her parents ever since a man she insisted was The One for her (in the face of Pat and Tony's doubts that he was really her "soulmate") killed himself after she had left him, and she had a breakdown over it. They have not dared to do anything to oppose whatever was her latest whim ever since, in case she breaks down again and they lose another child to death. It's a very abusive relationship, that.

Funny one liners tonight:

La Snell: Bert had this immortal quality….
Tracey: Well you got that wrong then!

and
LS: I feel so betrayed!
Kursedy: That’s Judas for you!

Now we just need Rex to drop out as Pontius Pilate so Lynda can say: “I wash my hands of it” - surely that has to be the way it’s going?

Can we get a crowing cock in there too?

Those lines were the tiny little sparks of gold panned from an episode full of worthless muck. Good to hear Johnnie, but he'd never have come out with that stuff about Natasha in front of Kirsty. That's a private family matter.

Surely Alan should be God? He is his representative in Ambridge, after all. Or (controversially) Usha could do it, as an exercise in ecumenical outreach.

@Roysnewshirt

I had forgotten how much I hate Natasha! We haven’t seen a lot of her and so she had slipped down my list of irritations but last night reminded me all over again how loathsome she is. I know she is cross about having plans for her business relocation being made behind her back but that is no one other than Tom’s fault. It’s him she should be cross with, not poor Tony with his toy trains. She is lucky he is such a nice man - anyone else would have had a row with her and ruined the atmosphere over Sunday lunch.

To be fair, Pat at least has to take a share of the blame as she seems to have assumed it was done and dusted within seconds of Tom floating the idea.

What is Kirsty supposed to be living on currently? Presumably she stopped working in the dairy when Susan came back?

I think she still works at Grey Gables.