💀 Archers thread #132: The Grim Reaper joined the cast; The Bard of Ambridge breathed his last. Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed. We don't all agree on all points and most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you think Shula will make an excellent vicar, or other unusual things.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please! We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/4197199--The-Archers-spoilers-thread-6-Cant-wait-for-7-02pm-Join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed.

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks to many of you for title suggestions. @JanglyBeads said that this thread had to be a Bert tribute so needed a rhyming title. From an excellent field, I chose the suggestion from @BorsetshireBanality (who also has a cracking username).

Check out the last thread for the other suggestions and various poetic offerings inspired by Bert Fry's passing. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/4349822--Archers-thread-131-A-time-to-plant-a-time-to-reap-Discuss-The-Archers-here

So, who'll get the bungalow? Rex, Stella, Pip? If Rex has to move, will he doss down beside his pigs at Lower Loxley? Or will Rex be a resident at Her Majesty's pleasure, having bumped off Trevor for being the world's most boring man? Now Freddie's on the case, are Russ's days at LL numbered? Will we ever hear Jill again, or was Bert just the first of many older cast members to be dedded?

Over to you!

And Stella would find his ditheriness deeply irritating. She appears to like smooth. So hooking up with Toby is a possibility.

Which would be excellent fun re: Pip! (As several pp may already have mentioned.)

The 🔮 is preening at it's prognostication prowess.

@BoreOfWhabylon

The 🔮 says that Bleak will get his wish to meet with Moss Bros but Kirsty will get to hear of it first and persuade Philip to tell Bleak the truth about how he exploited them.

Harrison will track down Victoria and the Grey Man and bring them to justice, Bleak's friends will be found and they will set up in business together and all live happily ever.

Just in time for the Best Christmas Ever!

This? Remarkably prescient so far!

I’m giving tonight a BOOP. Really excellent. The dramatic timing of the Bridge Farm scenes in particular. (Was there a glitch in the phone scenes, regarding the hide? I may not have listened carefully enough.)

But Who Is John? Has Johnny evolved his name?

The 🔮 is preening
I wouldn't have thought it had the wherewithal

There are no limits to its powers, 23.

Mmmwahahahah!

So should I listen to tonight or is there no rush?

It was a good one but nothing that can't wait, imo.

I am simply going to say that I didn't think it was possible for my opinion of Kirsty's common sense to fall any lower, but it did tonight.

Well done, Kirsty: you have just told Philip where Victoria can find Blake in order to have him silenced before he spills anything more to the police. Genius.

Incidentally, you have interfered with a police inquiry, and for that alone you should find yourself in hot water.

Kirsty's right though. Who would want to spend their Boxing Day being in a mystery play?

Yes she is. So why on earth is she so supine about following orders? She was the same about booting Clarrie out of the cast last time round.

Well done, Kirsty: you have just told Philip where Victoria can find Blake in order to have him silenced before he spills anything more to the police. Genius
Well, let us hope that Victoria steps up in the matter of Blake-silencing. I'll even hold her coat.

Kirsty is a waste of skin and organs.

FFS Kirsty. You are a massive twat.

By far the best bit of that episode was the timing of the bit where Tom had just floated the idea of Natasha moving her business to Bridge Farm and Pat barged in and said 'Oh good, has Tom told you our plans for Summer Fresh*?' She was never tactful, but she reached new heights there.

Also, totally ignoring Natasha's plans to sit quietly in the office with a salad bowl and insisting she join the rest of the clan for smoked mackerel pate. Smoked sea salt? Is that a real thing? I never add salt to smoked mackerel pate, as it's already quite salty, and certainly smoky enough for my taste.

*Or whatever it's called.

Here you go!

Smoked sea salt.

I thought mackerel was already smoked, so what is the point of the smoked salt in the pâté?

Thank you! Has anyone used it? I love salt and routinely use sea salt, but smoked sea salt does not appeal.

@TheSilveryPussycat

Kirsty's right though. Who would want to spend their Boxing Day being in a mystery play?

Please let this be the year that Lynda gets a resounding "NO!" from everyone.

They should all be out supporting/riding in/protesting about the Boxing Day Hunt!

what is the point of the smoked salt in the pâté?

Very little; but given Pat's previous form, Natasha should count herself lucky that the 'magic' ingredient wasn't cinnamon

Or parsnips.

I had some smoked sea salt in a hamper. I gave it away as I hardly ever use salt other than for cleaning

Apparently it's tasty

Parsnips = Pip + arsn
Bleurgh!

@Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g

Or parsnips.

Spot on, Gadp0de!

...though I am rather fond of parsnips IRL

So am I, but not used to bulk up a smoked mackerel pate! I think we've had the discussion here before about mashed parsnip being used as mock banana for sandwiches during WW2.

How odd, I've dragged the conversation back to food as so often before. Anyone would think I was obsessed ...

But you haven't given us a recipe for mackerel pâté. I am disappointed.