The Archers #96: Is that a rat I smell or the whiff of Snell? In Chaucer’s famous Tale of Two Torsos, Brian’s ‘still got it’ and Poldark is searching for scything opportunities in Susan’s kitchen.

[NotdeadyetBOING]

Welcome..... I'd concocted a longer title with all sorts of references to bitch stitching and pasta bakes, but was thwarted by the pesky character limit

Forgot Johnny. Leeds or Bridge Farm?

Alan and Usha, so no idea what they're doing
I think that Alan might be busy vicaring, what with it being Christmas Day and all that.

I'm struggling to distinguish between the voices of Ben and Rory.

Is Bert invited to Brookfield, too? Otherwise, without the Aldridges, they will be 13. (Or is that 14, including Lewis?)

Even vicars eat, surely? I imagine Christmas day vicaring must build quite an appetite.

I'm really enjoying TA at the moment - the new clots young people are bringing a refreshing perspective, Lily is rocking her maturing process, Russ is delightful as the new wrong'un, and even David is being quite entertaining.

In the list of who is going where for chrimbo, you omitted poor Freddie, who I love dearly. He of course is having christmas with Her Maj.

Oh yes, Bert as well, and I also forgot Lewis, just as the SWs seem to have done.

We often get a line or two from Alan at Christmas time, usually preceded or followed by 'Lovely service, Alan!' from one of the older female characters. So yes, I know he'll be in Ambridge (or Darrington or Penny Hassett) for the Christmas Day service, but what I wondered was who will be at the Vicarage for Christmas dinner. We never hear of Amy any more either.

you omitted poor Freddie, who I love dearly. He of course is having christmas with Her Maj.

I suppose Abbie may be around at some point, but presumably silently.

Yes, Roy said Phoebe was going to Brum to spend Christmas Day with Hayley and Abbie and Hayley's new partner. No mention of Roy's own father, stepmother and half-sister, who are also in Brum - Mike, Vicky and Bethany. I suspect they're off to Vicky's family.

Brenda? Might have been nice for her to come back to Ambridge, or go to Brum for Christmas and pop into Ambridge on the way home. (She's Roy's sister for our newer listeners, used to work for Lilian and Matt, lived with Tom for a long time, now supposedly living in London and engaged to A. N. Other after a dalliance with a wealthy Russian.)

I possibly need an overinvested emoticon.

Bittermints - may I just say how much I appreciate your over-investment. I think you may have forgotten Lexi - or has she gone back? I particularly like the fact that you have remembered Moike and Vicky - which more than can be said for SW. I think we could at least have token mention from time to time - planting the Bridge farm trees would have been an ideal opportunity for instance.

Thoughts on it being Robin Fairbrother (possibly with current wife? Though can’t remember if he had one!) having bought Home Farm house? In before Christmas so that Pipette can spend her first Christmas with her other Grandad?

The sense of mystery implies it’s someone we know....

Mind you that would be the end of Jill...

Do we really think the sale will go through? Have they exchanged contracts?

Are we going to have a Christmas proposal from Roy

I think Harrison said to Jill that he and Fallin were going to have a quiet one together after visiting jolene and Kenton in the morning.

I don’t think Brian and Jenny will ever have moved together before-didn’t Brian buy Home Farm when he first moved to the village, before meeting Jenny?

Buckingfrolics re the appetite of vicars on Christmas Day- you clearly haven’t seen the classic Vicar of Dibley Christmas special where Geraldine has to eat multiple dinners!

I hope so Minimammoth.

There will also be a big reveal about who's bought the farm.

And hopefully Kenton will duff up Russ.

Jenny seriously needs to take a leaf out of Joe’s book and threaten to rattle her chains around the Home Farm kitchen if she has to leave. Surely someone in the family can come up with something rather than letting her deal with all the fallout of their mistakes —as usual—.

I still don’t believe the sale will go through. I’m predicting a fire (due to all the fiery foreshadowing) that will halt the sale (just reading a novel in which that is exactly what happens). The farm won’t be burned to to the ground - just enough to make the buyers pull out.

I still don’t believe the sale will go through. I’m predicting a fire (due to all the fiery foreshadowing) that will halt the sale (just reading a novel in which that is exactly what happens). The farm won’t be burned to to the ground - just enough to make the buyers pull out.

The sale ought to go through. Brian has the fine hanging over his head - he needs to sell at a good price rather than have HSE force a sale (i.e. at knockdown price) and then still chase him for the balance!

But where will the fire be? Lower Loxley, Home Farm? The Stables (Alistair could rescue the horses)? The portaloo?

Russ needs to die! I can't bear another EA relationship storyline. Please let's not

I think Lily is a much more robust character than Helen, and I suspect the story will be less EA than one of a smart, if rather wilful/misguided young woman shaking off this horribly inappropriate relationship. But there will have to be a twist - blackmail, or attempted theft of the Gwen John. Russ is shrivelling in her estimation, you can hear it with each episode.

Russ is shrivelling in her estimation, you can hear it with each episode.
It could be interesting hearing her trying to get rid of him, and him not going sweet-talking her because he realises he's on to a good thing. He might volunteer to "make some money for LL" in the Gallery.

arf@ the idea of spontaneous combustion in the portaloo.