Orange Is The New Black in Ambridge. Just ask Helen. But will anyone in The Archers ever ask her WHY?

[PseudoBadger]

I reckon this thread will see us through the Euros, both footy and referendum. Await the clunky topical inserts here.

I do hope SOC has not decided that Kate and Roy should get back together after all this time.

I want Hayley to come back.

Bore It'll probably be Kate wanting to get back with Roy and him kicking her in the arse.

That thought disturbed my peace yesterday Bore. There's definitely a vacancy in both their lives.

If that happens I hope Phoebe would pack another bag and head off to Brum ...

I was wondering if the mention of the egg business partners being Hayley and Neil might mean Hayley would appear in Ambridge when Neil finds out what Josh has done.

I'm relying on Lowfield and these threads to work out whether it's worth listening or not. If it's particularly shite, or Knob-heavy I get my Archers fix from The Plarchers.
I was weaned on the Archers. How dare SOC fuck it up!

No Knob tonight. Lots of Fairbrethren stuff. It was an OK episode, but I wish we'd heard Neil giving vent to Josh.

One comment since 7pm, is that it? We don't talk anymore.

Gasp -don't interrupt me when I'm busy not talking.

Don't talk anymore? I don't listen anymore!

So Taylor swift and Tom hiddlestone. Weird huh?

Oh sorry, wrong thread, I'm so bored of the archers and the referendum I've had to start stalking sleb twaddle.

I can't wait for soc and the referendum to be over

So the conclusion of the tedious, long-running egg saga didn't even involve an (h)enraged Neil - just more dull Fairbrethren wittering. Listened with DH tonight (he hasn't listened for a while) he asked "Why are you even listening to this?" I couldn't actually come up with an answer. he asked me to fill him in on the diverted hens and I couldn't be bothered . Coming up to my traditional summer break where I usually miss a week or so - wondering if I'll even bother coming back. I cannot for the life of me understand why SOC felt the need to introduce the Fairbrethren - they are indistinguishable from one another and there hasn't been a single decent plot involving them since they first appeared. They are not even proper rural character - they serve no purpose whatsoever.

Although it's rather premature maybe something along the lines of 'It's so funny why we don't talk (about The Archers) anymore' could be incorporated into the next thread title. Some point in mid-August perhaps?

Oh god yes - I knew there was someone missing!

And I'd been looking forward to angry Neil for ages.

This is getting more than silly. The SWs know who will be available; why promise what they can't deliver?

Just catching up on last night's episode. Boop for Roy but please lord don't let them get Roy and Kate back together.

And just have to agree with all of you what the hell is the point of Pip and the Fairbrethen. The party is excruciatingly bad.

Did I hear Alice tonight talking about jacking in her permanent, secure job to take up some maternity-cover thing. Seriously, SW?

Memo to new Editor

1. Recruit an archivist.
2. Re-cast Pip.
3. Turn the Fairbrothers into silent characters until Christmas. Then have David announce that they have decided to move to Surrey. Then let the name of Fairbrother vanish from Ambridge.
4. Moratorium on any new people moving into Ambridge for 12 months.
5. Ensure that over the next three months we either hear (or, at the very least, hear about) everyone who has ever had a speaking part in TA over the last 20 years and is still allegedly living in Ambridge (except Darrell, who must never speak again).
6. Wrap up the Helen and Rob storyline asap. Credibility will not be required because that was all lost on 4th April. Just get Helen back to Ambridge and Rob and Ursula packed off to Hampshire or prison.
7. In any future casting decision, take great care that the actor chosen will be easily distinguished from all the other existing actors.
8. Bring back Matt.
9. All storylines must be considered carefully to ensure that they are (a) factually accurate and plausible and (b) arise naturally out of the established characters. Never let one storyline dwarf all the others.

10. Never, ever make comparisons with Hardy or any other literary giant. You are in charge of a soap opera.

That'll do for starters.

Excellent list!!

And agree about Alice. Are we supposed to believe she suddenly has a passion for farm machinery?

Gasp - that's an impressive wish list. I'm glad you didn't publish it yesterday, because Ian Duncan Smith would have probably popped up and told us if we vote Leave we could have all these things or some similar nonsense...

All excellent points Gaspode. Are you available to take up the role?

I'm the same as snark and deluding to say I'm checking low field befor I listen. The rob/Helen storyline is increasingly ridiculous. Helen stabbed rob to protect her child but is now apparently unconcerned about saying what really happened. No matter how traumatised I don't believe she would remain silent. It's unbearable.

Deluding!!! I meant delurking. Perhaps I am deluded though

Ignoring posts as I haven't listened to tonight but just wanted to fire up the West Wing bat signal for Olivia and anyone else.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2669058-West-Wing-Apprectiation-Thread?watched=1&msgid=61896860#61896860

I do think we need the HelRob storyline wrapped up with Rob totally humiliated and in prison, though. Apart from anything else, if he isn't firmly locked away or killed off, we'll have all the agony around his access to the children for evermore.

Excellent post Gaspode

I want to know about Kathy, Nic, Will, Hayley, Mike, Jess, Amy... and all the other disappeared characters...