Elves have needs too - will there be a pheasants' revolt? Discuss The Archers here

[PseudoBadger]

I've just browsed Lowfield for the first time - they really don't like Pat do they!

It was a cliffhanger. They'vé come to a decision, but we don't know what. We're all breathless with anticipation for tonight's episode.

Or not.

Although ... Didn't Justin say Tuesday for the road announcement?

I guess the goldfish had a clear moment before dying 'road'. And they thought 'shit, we had forgotten about the road. Let's just shove in a quick ref to the fact route z has been chosen'

Paige, Courtney and Jayden. But of course. Snobbish lack of imagination there.

My mum and my nan and my many baby daddies ... Ffs.

No more baby daddies than Helen. Who also has a mum and a nan. (Tbf )

Hope her new friend will prove helpful.

Why is JD assuming Deavid and Rooth were going to be devastated? I thought the evidence had swung firmly against the Brookfield route?

How bloody predictable.

She certainly doesn't call Peggy her nan though! I know what you mean, but I found it clunkingly awful: working-class-characterisation-by-numbers. Can just imagine the SWs going 'oh! Oh! I know another one of those names: Jayden! Could we get in a quick reference to her really missing Greggs, and it's a shame to have a boy because you can't pierce his ears? What larks!'

So what happened?

Surely part of the discussion re staying at Brookfield was 'road or no road'

I know Helen's situation is dreadful, and there are potential serious dangers for both children. However, I have to admit to a degree of schadenfreude at the fact that she can no longer make things happen her way just by throwing a strop as she did repeatedly with her parents. I know it did happen with Knob, but it wasn't really the same as she spent such a long time justifying the situation to herself.

I guess it's a sort of payback for years of irritation whenever Helen appeared. Overinfested again.

My children were born in the early 90s. Can't remember a Jayden/Jaiden in their schools, but there were plenty of Paiges, Courtneys, Jordans and so on. I'm not in touch with current baby naming stats but would have thought those names were now a bit off trend. Badly done, Keri, badly done!

At least we know they haven't forgotten about Phoebe's A levels and there was confirmation that Alice and Christopher are still in the land of the living.

Sigh. How utterly predictable.

Do you reckon Helen's prison nickname will be 'Downton'?

Scary top dog with Croydon facelift and 'Kai' and 'Kayden' tattooed on her neck; "Oi, Downton! This is my wing, and I own everyone in it...'

It was lucky for Helen that it was another prisoner and not a guard witnessing that episode. Otherwise it would have gone straight down on the records as evidence that she couldn't look after Jack properly.

I sympathised with Anna having to listen to Helen whittering on about breastfeeding when she was due in court.

Jayden, Courtney and Paige ffs. It's just beyond farce now. I so wish I could stop listening.

I had to speak to a mum who was a prisoner in the local nick about her baby girl ......Chardonney

SHWL is really getting tired of Helen - I think she's been remarkably patient so far, beyond the call of duty.

I thought there had already been an announcement that the road was going elsewhere, as a result of the flood?! Thought it was done and dusted. How odd.

Amazing how many people on Mumsnet have met one of the 7 Chardonnays born in each of the last 4 years.........

I so wish I could stop listening.

Is it too early for a thread title suggestion?

We wish we could stop listening.

Does anyone listen to Roifield Brown and Lucy Freeman's Dum tee Dum podcast?

link to dumteedum

Chardonnay is well past it - I would say it was 10-15 years ago

Jayden is a 5-10 yr old name I would say

Chardonnay peaked in 2003 with 101. Still amazing how many mumsnetters have met one!