Write The Archers One Line At A Time

[PseudoBadger]

Do it like the professionals do it

Toby: I heard that that Helen woman bludgeoned him half to death with a wheel of cheese?

Peggoi: Kirsty you're such a good girl

which is amazing given that she's a bit common and certainly not good enough for my Tom.

Could you just double check that Rob did the right thing and got rid of that ridiculous toy bunny Hellin gave to Henry? It wouldn't be so bad if he was a girl...

Eddie: it'll make a lovely change Clarrie. How are you finding the new kitchen George bought for you from his pocket money? Such a good boy.

Ian: Ahdum, I was thankin'......what aboit a wee holiday.....we've not bin abroad for edges......hoi does a week in the Bahamas leavin' tomorroh soiyt yuhue?

Clarrie: Oh 'e's such a good boy. A real credit to our Willyum.......and to our Ed.....and Emma of course.......said it was in the sales.....tho it looks real dear.....bless 'im

Emma: What 'ave I said to you about wearin' your dirty overalls in 'ere Ed Grundy? Get into the kitchen. That reminds me....did your mam and dad tell you about the kitchen George bought them? Ain't we lucky Ed.........I dunno....'ow did we get so lucky. I can feel it Ed.....this really is the start of big things for us....

Vango - you're just showing off because you can do the accents...

Bet you can't do Lillian's laugh.

Emma: Oh and while yer in there Ed.....there's a package arrived for Keira's birthday yesterday.......from your Uncle Alf I think......'e says in the card that it's a decoration for her bedroom.......sum sort of bunting I think?....

I am SO on my own here but I'm making myself laugh at least!!

Ed: I know Em. It's all going to be brilliant for us. Mind you, I was amazed at 'ow clever our George was with 'is 25p a week pocket money. I wudn't 'av thought of investing it in an offshore finance company in Panama. I'm dead proud, I really am.

I'm here Vango! But I'm rubbish at accents - not even much good at my own

Emma: Don't you ever dare underestimate our sun again Ed Grundy......he's as clever as his Dad......er.......and of course you're clever too.......we're just so lucky tho, ain't we...

Ed: really lucky. The only way is up Em...

I'm reading all of yours with the appropriate accent Limelight

bloody love this thread. It's distracting me from how depressing TA actually is! Obviously we're only official when D3 starts a spreadsheet.

Bert: And you say she did it with a kitchen knife, Mrs Tregorran? Ah, moi Freda were always a dab hand with a kitchen knife. Never a cross word in all our years together, with a woman with her way with a blade.

Carol: Yes, a kitchen knife. I have to admit that I was shocked. Why, I'd bumped into Helen in Felpershsm only the other day, just outside the station. She looked very tired and I'd suggested that some of my herbal remedies might do the trick. They certainly proved their worth when John was ill. We may not have had what you might call a conventional marriage, but I hated to see him sufferring. So when I heard that she'd stabbed him...well...it all seemed rather...unnecessarily gory.

Jenny: Helloooo Bert! I just popped to say how lovely your garden is looking! I still have some of the old bits of plumbing left over from my old kitchen, and I was wondering if you wanted to use any of them to make some sort of water feature?

Oh. I see that Mrs Tregorran is here. I won't disturb you.

I'm going to try hard to stay off the other one. It's uncomfortable having to revert to talking about TA as a fictional drama having taken it so seriously last week. And it's making me very uneasy discussing fictional sentences and characters with real-life victims of DA. I don't want to upset or offend anyone.

"Lynda? It's Leone... Yes, fine thanks, yes he's doing well too, yes, yes that's why I was ringing... Of course James and I would love too see the garden. Oh and by the way James and I have had an idea for our latest book about Ambridge..."

Susan: There's that Jennifer Aldridge talkin' about her kitchen again.....honestly, she won't rest until the ole of Ambridge is in her debt......thinks she's the queen bee.....she really does......Neil?......Neil?.......are you listening to me?.....

Totally agree. This is helping me remember that it is fictional however which is a bit of a relief.

Jennifer: No, I insist on speaking to Inspector Morse. I have important evidence about a murder investigation. No, not in Oxford itself, a village called Ambridge, but my granddaughter will going up to read PPE next year, so I feel that he is the appropriate person to contact.

Oh, I'm terribly sorry to hear that... And this Inspector Lewis, what college did he attend?

Adam: I don't know about abroad Ian....though I agree.....we could do with a few days away.....what about, I dunno, a long weekend in Scotland......just you and me.....

Reverend Lovejoy: Homer, I'd like you to remember Matthew 7:26. "The foolish man who built his house upon the sand."

Inspector Lovejoy: What's your name.....and don't say Mary Smith....

Jim: Bert old chap....so lovely to see you back at the cottage....and the garden's looking magnificent too......onwards and upwards eh......omni autem die in diem....cheerio then

Jim: And Jennifer.....there you are.....quam amabilis vestra....as I like to say......