Things To Do in Ambridge When Rob's Dead. Can The Archers get Home Deliverance for Helen?

[PseudoBadger]

Because she can take it out on Pat, of whom she isn't frightened! Whipping boy.

Pat has a history of depression. If I were her I'd hare off to the GP and say I'm anxious and depressed. Asked why I would spill out my anxieties about daughter and see if GP took the bait, sent in a midwife, phoned Helen's consultant and generally red flagged everything.
Basically I'd go behind Helen's back. I'd also button-hole Amy.

The thing is some women who have CB's go on to have normal VBs don't they? If everything is normal at the start it could be ok. but the MW should be on her mettle with a car ready for any emergencies.

Too much hysteria all round IMO. Poor Pat, but Hell did say "Can't you ALL leave me alone."

I thought the same as DDD and bakeoffcake - I thought it was a sign of Helen admitting to herself that everything is wrong and was hopefully a good thing.

I hope Pat is shocked and sees something is up.

Pat still doesn't realise that Helen is being abused. She still thinks knob is taking care of her and arse is helping. She won't tell anyone because she thinks it's Helen being unreasonable and selfish (as usual?)

Hellin is opinionated, always in the right, uses emotional blackmail, prickly, hypersensitive to criticism and likes to be in control. Hence aggro with Pat. She is like this to mask her underlying vulnerability and insecurity and anxieties. Complex!

I meant CS's of course.

You see, that's the bit I don't understand . Why would someone who is hypertensive to criticism put up with her MIL telling her her to cook and clean the house or do laundry ? Why has she let he her H kick her out her own business ?

See bloomingmarvellous and Her underlying insecurities and vulnerability.

Rob has spent the last few years chipping away bit by bit at her confidence - and she was so desperate to be in a loving relationship.

The worst scene for me was ages ago, with the dinner with Adam and Ian. She had prepared something, Rob marched and said 'oh don't be silly and went out to buy steak' then made comments about how much she was drinking all night.

It was all very subtly undermining and has been ramping up ever since. If he'd been like that from the word go old Helen would have told him to shove it.

That's why coercive control is so damaging. It's difficult to spot and also one is largely complicit in it.

Because she's frightened! Rob has shown that he can and will shout at her, physically intimidate her and probably rape her. She's 7 months pregnant so even more physically vulnerable now. She doesn't understand why Rob and Ursula want to drive her mad/control her/ruin her life so she's still trying to make it stop by appeasing them, and madly avoiding anything that will make them angry.

On a separate note, what ON EARTH does Jolene see in Kenton? Has he got a golden cock or something? He's so whiny!

Askingfor Kenton doesn't live on the wrong side of the law, he's a member of the Amb. gentry. He likes a bit of fun. Yes he's jealous and whiny sometimes. no ones's perfect eh? I suppose he might have a member d'or

Because i think she thought Rob was different to her family, he didn't know her history and she thought he really had her interests at heart. Now she's all over the place and can't see who is on her side any more.

The piece of the domestic abuse jigsaw that Knob hasn't quite put in place is alienating her from her family. Of course, that's quite difficult when he's working there every day but he'll us the same tactic with Pat as he did with the home birth, telling Pat that Helen doesn't want to see her while telling H to "stay away from your Mum, all she does is upset you".

Thnak you, you are all very insightful . I guess thats why she needs Mumsnet, to help her sort out the goodies from the baddies .

I'm surprised that no one has suggested a plot line that involves her posting in the relationships board and getting told to LTB by Anyfucker.

< wonders if they have the Internet in ambridge >

Though I agree that the " rescued by Lynda/ Kirsty / Tom " versions are more in keeping.

I would like to point out that I am not over invested in this, not am I on MN when I should be working

recyclingbag the dinner with A & I was what I immediately thought of too. Was that before or after the tuna incident?

YY Knob will use Hellin's distress - caused by Pat in his opinion- to alienate Helen from her family completely. I'm sure the SWs & SOC want to extend this abuse for months & it would certainly cut off the only outside contact Hellin has left. 😁😁
Would love it to be otherwise, so that I don't have to hover near the off button the whole time.

YY to earlier poster saying how lovely it was to hear Lillian earlier this week. Now there's someone who could sort out the likes of Knob & Arsula with style! Any other suggestions for unlikely characters to come to Hellin's rescue?

It was separate from the tuna incident. I can't remember what Helen was making, but Rob did his horrible 'Silly little woman hasn't a clue, thank goodness for clever old me' routine (complete with mirthless chuckle) to say that whatever it was she was making wasn't manly enough and he dashed off to buy steak. As somebody here mentioned the last time we were reminiscing about this, and as we all agreed at the time, this killed two birds with one stone for Rob, because he got to undermine Helen and indulge his homophobia all at the same time. He made a big point about the manliness of the steak, and very clearly both Adam and Ian saw what he was really implying - 'Of course you two are not real mean, but let's pretend, eh?'

I know it was separate but which came first? When he did he start messing with her head about food?

I think it was at a function Low (can't remember which one - was it NYE?). Hellin was at the buffet when Knob made a jibe about 'eating all that food - no wonder you're getting so fat' (mirthless laugh). She walked away from the plate and wouldn't eat anything - kept refusing to even taste anything (Tom was trying to make her help with scotch egg tasting). All went downhill from there

Just to clarify - am I safe to listen to today's lunchtime repeat? I'm not sure if it's Arse and Knob I'm avoiding, or the whole sorry conundrum. Will I want to shush Pat or shake Hellin? Feeling trepidatious...

I know Jack Archer wasn't a great husband but was he abusive or just a bit shit?

Maybe Peggy will recognise the signs.

It's not pleasant.

Typically he will ask what's for supper and he threw a strop about tuna bake one evening saying she knew perfectly well that he doesn't like fish. On here people immediately remembered the famous dressed salmon Jess prepared. Though it's interesting that he cooks cod in caper butter sauce as invalid food for her.
For Adam and Ian she was preparing her signature salad saying that Ian liked it and he behaved as Gaspode describes.
Both incidents were soon after she moved in with him so he's been messing with her head about food that long.

Since then if he's asked what's for supper she's prepared something beefy - until she was banned from cooking.

Horsewoman, you will want to slap Ursula and shush Pat & shake Helen

So maybe avoid...

I would steer clear, Grumpy. Plenty of bits to make you seethe.