Game of Farms: The 4 Houses of Ambridge. Bleak House, Boring House, Sitcom House and About to Breach the Terms of Their Tenancy House.

[PseudoBadger]

Never mind the yoghurt - who is making the Sterling Gold?!

[EBearhug]

selsig, there's probably a Radio 4 Action Line to get help with that.

You definitely need some sort of help.

[DadDadDad]

Psst, EBear, we were all trying to gloss over selsig's embarrassing admission. Don't draw attention to it, act normal, change the conversation.

[Gruach]

selsigfach

We may have to send you to JessTitchener for re-education ...

[Joskar]

What will Ursula make of it? I'm quite worried about how much stronger Knob will be with his mother backing him up.

I think there's a fair chance they'll do a "realistic " ending to this horrible sl. He's a good character and I think they'll want him to pop up every so often to scare Helen. Killing him and feeding him to the pigs is too sensational.

[DSClarke]

I've stopped listening too. So thanks for the updates.

Epic thread title by the way. Do you think we might have a bit of 'sexposition' up at Ambridge View?

[selsigfach]

I know it's bad. I'm married to a therapist but there's no way I could admit that to anyone in real life. I reckon it's time to stop listening.

[Gruach]

It's beginning to look as if we will have to draw up a rota with one stony hearted soul volunteered to listen each evening while the rest of us cower like a poor un-noisy boy in the corner with our fingers in our ears.

Or perhaps they could stop broadcasting altogether and K. D. could just tweet developing events in real time ...

[AdventuresOfADentist]

With KD also doing follow-up tweets to clarify what he meant in the initial tweet...

[Gruach]

Yup ...

[SealSong]

I'm confused about Ursula being wheeled in...I thought Rob didn't have a good relationship with his parents?

[DadDadDad]

Gruach - that's one solution. But maybe instead we need to realise that while each of us feels weak and alone as we sit there at 7:02 hearing the CA say "And now Rob's got a surprise for Helen", TOGETHER WE CAN BE STRONG!

Come on everyone, let's hold hands, get closer, that's it, no need to fear, you're among friends, yes, you too lurkers at the back, we know you're there.

Let's be strong together, Rob cannot break us, the eternal bond of the MN Archers thread binds us. Let's do this for the real Helens, the ones even now thinking of posting on MN, "my DH has told me to stop working and arranged for his mother to come and stay for a week, telling me with two days' notice. What should I do?" Let's be strong for them.

You cannot crush our spirit, Rob, or Keri, or Sean or whatever your true name is! The Archers was here before you, the listeners have been here from the beginning - they are the golden chain of light that reveals character inconsistencies and storyline flaws. So, you scriptwriters and editors, The Archers will be here when you have gone, bringing its proud dishevelled band of listeners with it, in its bright wake. At the final reckoning, you cannot prevail, for together, we are strong.

[Scarydinosaurs]

What will today hold? Predictions?

Bruises on Henry?
Ursula out-manipulating knob?

[GruntledOne]

That was some post for 1.40 a.m., 3Dad! Was the thought of Knob keeping you awake?

[GypsyFl0ss]

DDD.

[Gruach]

There is candle wax everywhere.

Why?

[Gruach]

And who are you calling dishevelled? Don't you know I have a very generous clothing allowance? This is straight off the catwalk dahling ...

[tibbawyrots]

Dad3 maybe a soothing glass of milk and a slice of cake?

[PseudoBadger]

Ursula will be like Bathilda Bagshot - the corpse of Rob's mother that he has animated to keep watch over H & H. That's what I think.

[DadDadDad]

Er, yes, it seems my touchy-freely side only comes out at night. I'll just go and tidy up, and get back to my spreadsheets.

"Dishevelled": I was trying to convey the opposite of a disciplined, orderly army; I wasn't talking about physical appearance but that we are a somewhat chaotic crowd.

[DadDadDad]

"touchy-freely" - my own typo just made me laugh out loud.

[CuttedUpPear]

I've missed loads of episodes and don't know if I can bear to watch the film this morning.

[SuffolkNWhat]

Are you saying Ursula is a horcrux?!

[ArgyMargy]

Genius thread title! D3 are you counting how many posts per thread are about the title of the next thread? And at what point in the thread do we start thinking about the next one? In fact are you planning/doing a masters/PhD on this (you should).

[AdventuresOfADentist]

I think Rob would be the kind of person who would want to split his soul.

[Joskar]

DDD