In honour of how The Archers threads began: Why are the SWs allowing this to happen?

[PseudoBadger]

The very first thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/a1740045-Why-is-Lillian-allowing-this-to-happen

40k posts later....

Thank you PB for the new thread.

Congratulations to Vita who wins first prize for the 40,000th post.
And to Minimammoth for the runner up post of 39,999th post.

First prize is a riding lesson from Shula.
Second prize is two riding lessons from Shula.

Glad Phoebe has got into Oxford - helps redress the TA anti-women in education tone as highlighted in these threads.

pssst... Northerner: HELEN IS NOT REAL

Impulsive Helen & consequences...

Getting drunk... insisting on driving drunk... mowing Mike down.

Make a baby without a partner: "We can't be your childcare!" said Pat: "I'll sort childcare just like any other mother does!" H. retorted ( on the lousy salary she got working for the family business?? )

Baby from sperm donor: H.'s shock that this put off a potential boyfriend later

Affair with a married man...

I totally don't get the whole mysogeny perception, either. Most young people I know IRL don't get Uni degrees, either & a lot of them live close to parents. I'll get me coat.

Hello de lurking here too. Catching more episodes is part of my resolutions, along with reading more books.

Anyway wading into the controversy. The point of the emotional abuse is many of the controlling things (the quick wedding, the parental responsibility, not driving, the endless resting) Helen IS "allowing" (as in not stopping or not able to stop) to happen as individual events, but together they form a pattern of abuse that is controlling and eroding her confidence and her sense of self.

the fact that sassy, outspoken Helen finds herself in this horrendous situation is the point of the story. i agree it may make lots of people (women especially but men too) rethink what might be going on in their relationship. The point that the abusers can be sooo charming in public and different in private which further isolates the person being abused has been well made I think.

To me the mysogyny is in how they are writing the women atm

Someone correct me if I'm wrong - but didn't Jenny just give exactly the same birthday speech as Clarrie did a little while ago? What have I ever achieved ...

Sorry to butt in again, but surely the best thing to happen to Helen is that she logs into MN and starts reading a few close to home posts. I think she would be a Mnr and it would be so brilliant if that was how the storey was resolved with online support and help to see what she's bee living with and how to escape.

Northern it's a rhetorical question. Why is Helen letting this happen? Because that is the question that gets asked every time a woman is abused - why did she get the bus home alone? why did she smile at that man? why did she wear those clothes? why did she not leave the first time her partner hit her? why did she go back to her abusive husband? And hopefully TA SL and this thread will help get people to question those attitudes, and realise that being subject to abuse is not the victim's fault, and that leaving an abusive relationship is not always easy (and sometimes all but impossible)

Oooh, do I share a birthday with Jenny? How exciting. I think she would prefer the presents I received!

Charm over cocktails but hell over the shredded wheat. That old chestnut. On and on and on. I would have thought that Helen, having recovered from an eating problem would have the insight to realise what was going on and seek help. Perhaps she has simply lost her apetite. Literally. And she will die and leave Rob the Knob shagging someone else. I don't like it at all, and will probably stop listening. It is all bad enough in RL, and I can't get involved. To join in voluntarily just seems perverse! But it is a little bit compelling.

Mitford spot on. Helen would stumble across the relationships board on mn and with excellent advice and support plan her way out...

Pseudo I'm afraid that I agree with the disquiet over the thread title.

I've been there myself and I don't think anyone who hasn't should judge.
I remember my closest friend at the time expressing a similar sentiment and it just isolated me more and took me longer to break free as I knew it was my fault I was locked into the relationship.

Do you think it possible to ask our compadre Olivia to alter it?

How about swapping Helen with soc?

I hope that you've all seen my post above and it hasn't been lost in the flow? I think it should be amended if possible - how about "Why is SOC allowing this to happen?" Or "why are the SWs allowing this to happen"?

X post!

Great minds pseudo!!

Hi, room for another?

I find Helen's plight so hard to listen to. In fact I do have to turn it off sometimes. I long for the day the marriage is over and someone decks him.

I increasingly think he'll have to be killed off as even if they part he will continue to torture her. I think his ex wife could return perhaps. Do controlling men with children ever leave their ex partners alone?

Iljkk YAAAY I agree with you, don't get your coat!!!!

I'm sure Olivia can fix the title if we ask her nicely. I think it works better too.

Congratulations pseudo for such a successful run of threads. And some awesome titles (do you keep a record D3?)

I can quite see why Justin thinks JD went to Oxbridge. She's a terrible intellectual snob. And I have to say that while I didn't go (I looked round the Ruskin but hated it and didn't apply), I've never noticed that the friends that did are markedly cleverer than those who didn't.

I'm quite happy that the dopeys are back on track although that's largely because depressed Archers characters are awful to listen to rather than any love for either of them. David's vacillating over the cows going has been really, really irritating me so I'm delighted we've got a whole new cow thing to get involved in. I do like it when they get exciting new stock

Is the Christine/Peggy stuff supposed to be amusing or is their menage a deux cracking up?

Hi, posting from the app now not officially here but I'll do this in the morning, of course.

They could send Phoebe to Oxford quite easily - there are plenty of characters we only hear from every few weeks, and Debbie's off in Hungary and pops up every few years when she's not doing more lucrative television work.

I am actually enjoying the Brookfield story. There I said it. The run up was a bit crap but couples do have bad times and then get back on track and this is more like the D and R I remember very much a farming team. And i love a bit of cow talk.

I also loved the JD and Brine dynamic. I know he is a silver tongued charmer but it was beautufully voiced and nice to hear Jenny as something other than provider of food. Although they didn't mention her Boadicea.

It would be good if she did some u3a or uni as a mature student She could go with Peggy lots of people do. Or she could start a business.

Placemarking

Glad to read plans to change the title. Thanks pseudo

I don't believe Justin thought for a moment that JD went to Cambridge, he just knew how to flatter her.

gruntled I agree, and I think it worked!