Why is Lillian allowing this to happen?

(975 Posts)
PseudoBadger Wed 24-Apr-13 12:47:07

FFS Lil, he's just a bit on the side. If he pisses you off just bin him. Don't start sounding so downtrodden.

Songbird Wed 24-Apr-13 13:24:54

Worrying isn't it? All his whining about Matt when it was him pushing the affair. 'I don't mind just being a bit on the side' sort of thing. It's all going to come crashing down around her isn't it? Silly bint. And where is Matt???

JollyGolightly Wed 24-Apr-13 13:34:28

I don't understand it. Lillian used to be a toughie and a good laugh, the aunty you'd want to sit beside at a family do. He's only just started with the EA and she's already lost all her oomph.

PseudoBadger Wed 24-Apr-13 13:46:23

It's as if the SWs wanted to 'do' EA or some kind of domestic abuse but couldn't find a married couple that it would work in. So they've shoehorned it in with an affair?

heronsfly Wed 24-Apr-13 14:35:56

I found this episode rather cringeworthy, would have rather heard more about Pipsqueak the lamb killer

HomelessAngua Wed 24-Apr-13 16:20:19

Nonono - not more Pip - please!

ppeatfruit Fri 26-Apr-13 16:00:05

Yes the SWs have changed her character she doesn't let Matt treat her like that. Oh hang on I just remembered she turned a blind eye to Matt and Annabel's near shag! Now they've got a flat "together" Paul is using it as a lever to hang on to her I knew that would happen.

gwenniebee Tue 30-Apr-13 19:11:59

Ooooooohhhhhhh she's about to get shopped! :D

orangina Wed 01-May-13 12:57:37

Oh bloody hell, just listened to last night's episode (Tuesday).... why why WHY did she go for such a stupid lie to Matt?

Her days are numbered, I tell you....... shock

lljkk Wed 01-May-13 14:11:17

Indeed, Orangina, I can't fathom that either. Panic?
I thought cheaters spent longer concocting their lies.
I still resent the SWs for making me feel sorry for Matt. angry
Remember he took up with Lilian when he was cheating on his wife, though.
So how will he take this revelation?

orangina Wed 01-May-13 14:52:52

Oh I don't know I would go as far as feeling sorry for Matt though.... grin. Lillian used to be fab and on top of everything, but someone has taken away her mojo recently, which is really annoying!

TallGiraffe Wed 01-May-13 15:03:40

She had all afternoon to come up with a better lie!

heronsfly Wed 01-May-13 16:41:00

Matt seems to be rather uninterested in Lillians tall stories about where she has and hasn't been lately. I think either he knows and is waiting to see how far she will go with the lies and deceit, or he is having his own affair and is planning on leaving Lillian.grin

PigletJohn Wed 01-May-13 17:56:31

Matt knows all about it, he had her followed by a private investigator (remember the woman at the station?) and is biding his time while on his best behaviour.

lljkk Wed 01-May-13 20:17:32

SWs were completely telegraphing what with Matt speculating about the Dog Fighters, why did they choose Brian's barn of all places and they must have an inside connection, etc. Reminding us that Matt is canny & shrewd (about time for that side of him to re-emerge).

Now if only Lilian could find her absent backbone, too.

kohl Wed 01-May-13 20:25:33

I've been dipping in and out recently - cannot bear bloody pip's spoilt whining or her crazed controlling folks -she needs to MOVE OUT LIKE EVERY OTHER 18 YEAR OLD.
Anyway. What is going on with Paul and his ex wife?

PrincessFiorimonde Wed 01-May-13 21:50:47

Yes, she's been rumbled (I also thought that Woman At Station was Matt's PI, but it was quite a while ago now), and it's all going to explode just when I'm going away for a fortnight. shock

<consults travel insurance re: grounds for cancelling holiday>

OTOH, am happy to escape from dreadful Pip and dismal Darrell.

OliviaMMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 01-May-13 22:27:26

PigletJohn

Matt knows all about it, he had her followed by a private investigator (remember the woman at the station?) and is biding his time while on his best behaviour.

WHAT WHAT WHAT?!
How did I miss this?
More details please.

PigletJohn Wed 01-May-13 22:41:39

could be a couple of months back. Shifty Paul and Fag-Ash Lil were waiting for a train after one of their un romantic shagfests assignations when a chatty older woman appeared, struck up a conversation, claimed she needed to call someone and borrowed a phone from one of them.

That will have put the call on the phone records in case they disputed her account later. No doubt she has photos and recordings as well. For all we know, she might even have been phoning Matt who will have understood the call.

NotALondoner Wed 01-May-13 22:54:05

It was the 'Brief Encounter' episode.

OliviaMMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 01-May-13 23:33:39

Okay, well I remember that but why do we think PI?!?

GrendelsMum Thu 02-May-13 13:16:31

I don't think she was a PI - if she was, then why would he be getting Brenda to be snooping on his behalf and pretending he's concerned about Lil's health? <nice touch there from Matt, btw>

I've just thought - does Matt actually have any money / property of his own, now? He's living in L's house, with a business based in their house that he can't legally be director of, and can't set up his own new business if he leaves her. Which would be an additional motivation for his turning a blind eye all this time...

PseudoBadger Thu 02-May-13 13:21:28

I don't think Matt has had the first clue until the golf game. He was very surprised to hear Lill was at the races and clearly didn't buy her excuse - hence the snooping with Brenda. Why would he snoop if he's paying someone else? No way has there been a PI - there may be now though.
Matt or someone else is clearly going to hear that voicemail - why else would the SWs bother?

lljkk Thu 02-May-13 17:35:06

Which voicemail?
Matt's ex took a lot of his estate & he hid assets from her by hiding them (I remember a load of paintings?) in Lilian's house, giving Lillian cash to buy her house so L. nominally owns the house (?Dowger house?) but really Matt paid for it.

So if Matt really loves Lilian he'll try to win her back, probably by tracking down the lover & threatening him. If Matt thinks she stabbed him in the back and Matt doesn't care any more he'll plot how to get his money back and shaft her hard. I think he loves her, what's worse, so we're heading for Matt trying to kill Paul or summat.

TallGiraffe Thu 02-May-13 17:51:33

Paul left Lil a voicemail saying meet me at Thursday at this time and this location. Perfect for Matt to hear and go to meet instead.

lljkk Thu 02-May-13 18:07:56

Oooh...... that means tonite is the night to listen and not miss, no?!

TallGiraffe Thu 02-May-13 18:42:16

Ah no sorry, next Thursday! But as we know the drama's always on a Thursday...

JollyGolightly Thu 02-May-13 19:37:04

I like the PI story, it's a lot better than what's probably actually going to happen.

I find TA so frustrating, it bores me silly and makes me crises, but I can't stop listening to it. I'd not give this type of twaddle a moment of my time if it was on tv.

JollyGolightly Thu 02-May-13 19:37:36

Makes me cross

Bluestocking Thu 02-May-13 22:21:27

Is Josh going to become an Egg Baron like Tom the Sausage Magnate?

ppeatfruit Fri 03-May-13 10:06:20

Did anyone notice that the actor of Paul's voice changed on weds.? Which I heard yesterday p.m. he's getting worse and worse and when Lil finally dumps him he's going to go OTT mark my words.. (hoists bosom looks over glasses). I don't mind spoilers BTW. Agree about TA Jolly

minkembra Fri 03-May-13 10:44:21

lilian is bank rolling the business. so i expect Matt to hang around until he has sorted himself an out.

maybe he will be put in position of having to rescue lilian from an abusive episode. i am going to go for a Paul keeping her prisoner. she will be grateful and then he will leave and everyone will be all like shock at lilian.

i hope they string out the EA bit for a while because as pointed out if it happened like that in rl ppl would not get sucked in.

notice how many times they slipped 'entitled' into the Paul and son scene.

ppeatfruit Fri 03-May-13 10:54:16

Their flat is probably going to be the scene but if Lil hasn't got her mob. phone how will Matt know where she is? OOOH It'd be an interesting way for him to meet his half brother grin

If they SWs hadn't changed Lil's character the EA wouldn't be happening would it?

Panzee Fri 03-May-13 10:59:00

Unless,they're trying to flag that it could happen to anyone...
I was convinced Matt knew all along (but not who it was with) but I think it's gone on too long for that.

ppeatfruit Fri 03-May-13 11:03:03

I don't know Panzee I think he DOES know but is turning a blind eye to it. We''ll see grin

R4 Fri 03-May-13 11:32:12

I thought that Paul was based in Somewhere Dull down south.

Why did his son come to visit him in Borsetshire? Why did the son even know the address of his dad's grubby little love nest?confused Paul can't really moan about Celia's marriage when he has so obviously Moved On himself (quite apart from the obvious fact that what his ex gets up to is none of his business ...)

ppeatfruit Fri 03-May-13 11:43:49

Oh I hadn't thought of that R4 ! yes Paul's house is in Luton isn't it. Why would his son visit him in his "grubby little love nest"? grin

The concerning himself with Celia's life is all part of his 'controlling' nature. It sounds like she should've put a restraining order on him.

minkembra Fri 03-May-13 12:59:38

don't think they set where the scene was when son came to visit. i assumed it was his house.

gwenniebee Fri 03-May-13 19:28:32

Ooh I missed two episodes this week and it sounds like I've missed out... tonight was all llama drama confused.

minkembra Sat 04-May-13 08:09:09

snort at llama drama grin

right enough there was the voice mail and the set up where Brenda and Matt were discussing the phone incident...

R4 Sat 04-May-13 08:32:48

don't think they set where the scene was when son came to visit. i assumed it was his house.

Woah! Are you telling me that we had a scene between two non-Ambridgers in somewhere non-Borsetshire?shock They'll be doing a Christmas Special in Benidorm next.
It's all gone to the dogs I tell ya.

TallGiraffe Sat 04-May-13 08:58:50

R4 grin

minkembra Sat 04-May-13 09:24:08

grin although is there not a precedent. i think they had a scene at Ruth's mum's house once. could be imagining it though.

RocknRollNerd Sat 04-May-13 11:49:48

Paul is in Watford when he's not at the shagnest in Felpersham. Lillian went down for a romantic weekend and was all effusive about how lovely it was but how she was uncomfortable in his house (hence the acquisition of the shagnest).

I wonder if there is going to be a money angle involved as well - is his business going down the pan (he can't be giving it his full attention given how often he's in Felpersham)?

Some kind of stuff is going to go down on Thursday though isn't it...

HomelessAngua Sun 05-May-13 10:57:32

Sir Alan could learn from the Ambridgeists.

Experts in business, one and all....

HomelessAngua Sun 05-May-13 10:59:45

Ophs. - wrong place...

JollyGolightly Tue 07-May-13 22:00:35

I'm looking forward to Thursday. Things are a bit more interesting now that Matt has turned suspicious and has taken to following Lil around. He suits an air of faint menace.

heronsfly Wed 08-May-13 18:15:57

I'm rather liking Matt at the moment too, he must be building up for a big showdown grin

TallGiraffe Wed 08-May-13 18:42:13

Me too, which is terrible. I think Matt's got the best lines at the moment by a country mile!

PseudoBadger Wed 08-May-13 18:43:38

I've always enjoyed him as a character

NigellaTufnel Wed 08-May-13 23:10:10

Lillian is being a bit too cool though.

This is the woman wh almost came out in hives going to Felpersham races.
Now she sees Matt checking her phone, diary and stalking her and she's acting like James Bond.

heronsfly Thu 09-May-13 07:01:06

I think Jolly is right, its all going to come out tonight, Matt isn't going to golf,his obviously going to follow her,hope Paul doesn't call off. Lillian is really pushing her luck now grin

TallGiraffe Thu 09-May-13 19:16:03

Well that was disappointing.

Shallishanti Thu 09-May-13 19:17:33

yes!
now we'll have to listen tomorrow!

SimoneDeBeaver Thu 09-May-13 19:19:39

I really don't recognise this Lillian - surely she knows Matt well enough for her antennae to be twitching !

Graceparkhill Thu 09-May-13 19:21:28

What a swizz. I thought it would all kick off tonight and have been looking forward to it( sad life emoticon).

GrendelsMum Fri 10-May-13 12:25:56

I know sad I timed my evening so I could listen to Matt tracking them down and SLTTC

JollyGolightly Fri 10-May-13 13:33:07

I even managed to persuade ds that listening to the archers in Big Bed was a massive treat and a more than adequate substitute for a bedtime story. Don't think he'll fall for it two nights in a row.

Annoying SW people.

PigletJohn Fri 10-May-13 13:41:16

there's a new patio being built...

Graceparkhill Fri 10-May-13 15:53:32

Agree with PigletJohn - I think the tension is building with this storyline and Lilian's transformation to vulnerable seems realistic to me.

PigletJohn Fri 10-May-13 19:22:46

I wonder which of them will do it.

I reckon Paul will try and Matt will rescue her.

Primadonnagirl Fri 10-May-13 19:53:12

Glad someone else noticed Paul's voice had changed ...do they think we are fools????!! Can't believe Lillian didn't tell Matt she was talking to a builder at the races though...it was obviously a risk that the other Locke would mention it...I do hope she gets caught though cos I'm sick of hearing those icky sex scenes where she goes all Frankie Howard....

Primadonnagirl Fri 10-May-13 19:53:43

..that was supposed to say other bloke....

PigletJohn Fri 10-May-13 21:01:38

SLTTC ???

Rangirl Fri 10-May-13 21:44:08

Shakes Lilian to the core ?

ppeatfruit Sat 11-May-13 16:21:26

So no SLTTC yesterday then? grin

RocknRollNerd Sun 12-May-13 08:46:05

grin at SLTTC! Shit though the original SATTC was it's at least left us with a handy acronym!

Michael Fenton Stevens was saying on Twitter that it's deliberate with Paul's accent - apparently as he gets more relaxed he's showing his 'true self'...

Matt must leap into action this coming week surely?

Redcliff Sun 12-May-13 11:16:04

I'm confused - when Paul is lying about his family situation does he believe that is what's going on i.e. his wife is being the problem with his kids rather than him?

Graceparkhill Sun 12-May-13 11:37:07

I am not sure. I am inclined to think he is spinning a deliberate web of deceit rather than being genuinely deluded!

ExcuseTypos Sun 12-May-13 11:45:44

I noticed Paul's voice changing too. It sounded like a completely different
bad actor.

I do like this story line, it's all building up to something........grin.

PigletJohn Sun 12-May-13 13:29:17

Perhaps they are conveying the message that a man with a nice voice is just pretending to be a Good Egg, and a man with a common voice is violent and abusive?

Are the script planners going back to the "all men are bastards (or crooks, or weak and useless)" theme again?

ppeatfruit Sun 12-May-13 16:08:47

I'm just thinking through the men in TA and working out the nice ones. David, Tony maybe a bit weak, Neil, Tom grin, they are in the minority oh the vicar's okay. Roy's okay. Anyone else?

heronsfly Sun 12-May-13 17:16:39

I rather like Kenton.

PigletJohn Sun 12-May-13 17:40:11

feckless, unreliable idiot, though.

PseudoBadger Sun 12-May-13 18:16:44

I wouldn't say no to Ed. But not a long term prospect, obvs

MrsCampbellBlack Sun 12-May-13 18:18:08

I've always thought Brian sounded fun blush

TallGiraffe Sun 12-May-13 18:44:28

Adam and Ian - but they've disappeared into the Borsetshire black hole recently.

PigletJohn Sun 12-May-13 19:24:13

Ed? dishonest, lazy, unreliable.

Brian? Cunning, scheming, egocentric bully

Ian? Unfaithful. Pig-headed.

MrsCampbellBlack Sun 12-May-13 19:53:32

Ian wasn't unfaithful - that was Adam.

I know Brian is a bad'un but that's the pretend appeal.

PurpleThing Sun 12-May-13 19:55:42

Lying, self delusion and manipulation are all classic behaviours of an abusive man, as is using your dc to try control your ex even years later. Perhaps he will blackmail Lillian?

R4 Mon 13-May-13 08:43:37

If you remember, Lillian came across Paul when she was trying to play happy families for Matt. I bet she is going to try to play happy families for Paul too - she will contact the children to 'mend fences' and instead learn the horrible truth. If she dumps Paul then the affair can finish but we will still have the 'what would happen if Matt found out' ticking away in the background for a long term plot line (like Adam).

ppeatfruit Mon 13-May-13 08:53:21

Oh yes what's happened to Adam and Ian? I like Ian not sure about Adam though grin BTW piglet Brian also has a real record of infidelity Ruarhi (sp)? being part of the evidence! I had forgotten Ifti. Mike's not too bad

MrsCampbellBlack Mon 13-May-13 10:41:07

Brian has always been unfaithful despite Jennydarling wearing thongs - remember when she told Adam that shock

That was the best storyline ever I think with Siobhan

ppeatfruit Mon 13-May-13 11:28:44

No I don't remember that Thank God grin Yes MrsCampbellBlack I liked that story too and I foretold that there would be a son and that she was going to pass on.

HearMyRoar Mon 13-May-13 19:20:24

So, is Matt going to give some of his mates from inside a call and put out a hit on Paul? Or is he going to confront lillian, who will leave Paul and then Paul will start sending parcels with horses heads in or something? Gosh, the excitement grin

PigletJohn Mon 13-May-13 19:44:41

a parcel full of Findus lasagne?

LondonMother Mon 13-May-13 19:45:01

PigletJohn, do you mean Eddie? Ed Grundy is none of those things nowadays.

PigletJohn Mon 13-May-13 19:53:11

yes, I meant Eddie.

Ed is curmudgeonly, resentful, smug, unsympathetic, and hates his brother his nearest and dearest.

like any other Ambridge man (men are weak, untrustworthy, unreliable egocentric and mean), it is only with the help of a woman (women are great) that he can manage to get through life.

lljkk Mon 13-May-13 19:59:46

hmmm
(Matt the Valiant Knight on a White Charger?!, the image makes me need to go lie down in a dark room, SWs are seriously screwing with my head.)

M & L will put Paul under the patio for sure. Maybe with a huge payoff to Daryl.

OliviaMMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 13-May-13 20:46:13

OOh loving Tiger finally clicking...

HearMyRoar Mon 13-May-13 20:52:09

Gosh, i've gone all faint at the thought of the lasagne horror to come.

I know matt is a slime bag but at least he's our slime bag. Not some johnny come lately stalker type from Watford of all places. Urgh! ( I feel I should now confess that I grew up in Watford so reserve the right to hate it at every opportunity). So I say 'go matt!' and 'down with Paul!' Boo hiss!

Pancakeflipper Mon 13-May-13 21:06:50

Lillian is suspicious at everything. She invented the shifty eyed look - it makes no sense for her to be careless.

I am just waiting for Tom to get over his heartbreak then I will make a move on him. I will have to develop a love of sausages but he has prospects and I like tractors.

OliviaMMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 13-May-13 21:35:19

pancake NO!

Pancakeflipper Mon 13-May-13 21:48:38

Olivia - don't stop me.... The only other one I like is Adam and thats going nowhere.
I could do with an organised person in my life. He is great at planning spontaneous fun.

I might have to glare at that Kirsty, she looks like she is making a quick move Pah at her attempts to talk knowledgable about fields.

heronsfly Mon 13-May-13 21:50:02

if we are sharing out the men, I would like Matt please grin

Pancakeflipper Mon 13-May-13 21:55:50

Ummm "alright Heronfly..."

Yes, not quite pussycat, but not bad. Think you are in there.

heronsfly Mon 13-May-13 22:18:29

Thank you grin hope he brings some of Lils cash with him!

florencedombey Mon 13-May-13 23:13:34

I wouldn't mind having a go at "turning" Ian blush. He could cook me a lovely breakfast afterwards...

With regard to Pusscat and Tiger, Matt will confront her which will push her further into Paul's arms. Once there, she will gradually realise that he is a controlling shit, but it'll be too late. There will be some sort of dramatic denouement... Lilian is going to end up in some sort of dire situation at Paul's hands (locked up in the lovenest? Drowned in the millstream?) so that Matt has to come and rescue her.

florencedombey Mon 13-May-13 23:15:52

Oh, and two weeks later it'll all be forgotten and they'll be back to drinks with Brine and Jennydarling and get rich quick schemes.

ppeatfruit Tue 14-May-13 08:27:00

OOh Oh Oh over 'ere with Ifti if we're sharing out the men please pretty please!!!! 'cor 'es gooooorgeous!!!!

FasterStronger Tue 14-May-13 08:34:10

yum ifti.

RocknRollNerd Wed 15-May-13 08:38:19

There's definitely going to be some kind of big showdown which will end up with Lilian realising Matt is far and away the better brother. Have a horrible feeling it will also involve whiney Darrell-ex-machina as well - I wish he'd bugger off with his whingey kids and leave Rosa to get her life back on track.

ppeatfruit Wed 15-May-13 08:57:45

I listen in the p.m. but just the way Matt finally cottoned on yesterday p.m. was brilliant with his golf clubs!! grin I even felt sorry for Darryl.

TheOriginalSteamingNit Wed 15-May-13 09:02:53

Has anyone else noticed that the more Paul is characterized as a bad egg, the more estuary his accent gets?

PareyMortas Wed 15-May-13 09:03:46

Shag - Ed (not Eddie!) Grundy - lovely
Marry - Ifty - good with kids
Avoid - Jazza

Can anyone fill me in on what Paul has told Lillian is going on with Anita Dobson, I think I missed a couple of episodes. I caught the one this week were they spoke on the phone and he'd gone awol.

It's getting good now Matt's twigged. Not quite as good as the Brine & Siobhan, but much better than SATC.

ppeatfruit Wed 15-May-13 09:17:48

well parey Paul has basically told complete lies;blaming Celia (Anita Dobson) for threatening the kids with the withdrawal of contact with the grandkids and cutting off their inheritance if they don't go to her wedding which is what HE said. ASFAIK

LondonMother Wed 15-May-13 11:41:01

Yes, and no matter how loudly I shout into the radio Lilian seems not to hear when I point out what a liar Paul is. Odd.

WillColbert Wed 15-May-13 11:48:53

So Matt's reaction to realising that Lil is having an affair with his brother is to book a holiday to Turkey? That's an odd response - what is he up to?

ppeatfruit Wed 15-May-13 12:11:33

london yes me too why can't she hear? grin

PigletJohn Wed 15-May-13 12:46:00

Ifty will need to have his trust and confidence rebuilt. The next woman may find him strangely reticent and relectant to commit, and will probably complain about him.

Songbird Wed 15-May-13 12:52:52

I don't get the logic behind Paul's story. As ppeat says he is spinning this tale where Celia is doing everything he is actually doing, and 'isn't that terrible?'. So...... does he not make the connection that what he is doing to his children is terrible? Don't get it.

ppeatfruit Wed 15-May-13 12:57:03

IMO he lives in a web of delusion songbird He's not as you or I. I also found it odd that his daughter told him that she loved him if he's that weird.

OldBeanbagz Wed 15-May-13 12:58:36

So what's the deal with Matt booking a holiday? Is it going to be a cruise so that Lillian can mysteriously disappear (overboard) late one night?

Or is he going to invite Paul along for a showdown?

JollyGolightly Wed 15-May-13 13:08:38

I missed the part where the penny finally dropped for Matt. How does he know who it is?

ppeatfruit Wed 15-May-13 13:12:21

It was because poor Darryl was asking for him for work and mentioning who he'd worked for previously as being able to give him a good reference. (yeah a good reference for rogering Lil!!!grin)

ppeatfruit Wed 15-May-13 13:18:43

I'm looking forward to listening this p.m.! Cruise you say*OldBeanz*? Just to piss Paul off I expect!

lljkk Wed 15-May-13 14:10:14

Paul's compulsive lying sounds all too plausible, people like that are really out there. Charmers but users. Maybe this was SWs way of showing us that for all his own smarmy faults, Matt could be a lot worse.

ppeatfruit Wed 15-May-13 15:59:04

Yippee Ambridge Fete's Highland Games !!!!grin

piprabbit Wed 15-May-13 16:04:54

"He has prospects and I like tractors"

MN quote of the week grin.

Pancakeflipper Wed 15-May-13 16:39:58

I have been narrowing my eyebrows at the SW lately but they must be doing something right as I slightly love Tiger Matt at the moment.

Paul will just stop talking and start growling soon. His voice is getting bizarre.

Am hoping Matt will take Pip "sooooo unfair" Archer with him to Turkey and dangle her over a boat.

TallGiraffe Wed 15-May-13 19:23:44

The date of the holiday seemed significant - do we know when Paul's birthday is?

CuttedUpPear Wed 15-May-13 23:10:23

Anyone else imagining the mysterious disappearance of Lil whilst on holiday? Sold into the white slave trade perhaps?

Why else would Matt take her away for a seemingly significant 2 weeks????? Hmm???

lljkk Thu 16-May-13 07:58:39

Or Lil's birthday, maybe, it's early July.

Wotme Thu 16-May-13 08:13:59

Maybe he'll take her to rio again...

Songbird Thu 16-May-13 09:26:15

Is it going to be as boring innocent as he's just trying to win her back? I'm very disappointed with this whole ridiculous storyline. Matt was being really awful for a bit there and she should have just dumped him, or had a wonderful affair with a wonderful man. But nooooo.... Matt is an interesting character, but his voice just grates. Such a ridiculous 'rough trade come good' accent.

lljkk Thu 16-May-13 10:08:13

I bet Celia's wedding is end June/early July but Matt wouldn't know anything about that.

Matt is so conniving, I am desperate to know what he's up to.

Celia's page is broken link from Paul's page on TA website, tsk tsk.

ppeatfruit Thu 16-May-13 12:55:12

OOh no songbird I LIKE Matt's accent grin It's the sexiest part of him!

Songbird Thu 16-May-13 13:15:09

Get out of my sight!!

RocknRollNerd Fri 17-May-13 07:49:18

Talking of Ambridge men....Jennifer mentioned the strawberry pickers are back soon - is Pawel going to return?

OliviaMMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 17-May-13 16:20:57

I was thinking abuot pawel the other day...and that we have heard nothing from Ian and Adam of late...

TallGiraffe Fri 17-May-13 16:22:46

They've been missing for ages, fallen into the Borsetshire Black Hole of oblivion. Although Spencer did mention Adam the other night so maybe they'll reappear soon.

Macarooned Sat 18-May-13 10:06:45

What, no posts about Fri night's episode!

I did proper gasp when Matt picked up Angie/Celia's keys .... but ending was frustrating

I want to know what Matt's plan is.....

heronsfly Sat 18-May-13 10:22:42

i was waiting for a mention of last night too grin, He has definitely got a plan, I think that was one of the best episodes for a long time, shame they had to shove the sausage king in though.

BoreOfWhabylon Sat 18-May-13 13:01:57

Anyone else think Matt might find a job for Desperate Darrell whilst he and Lils are in Turkey? A job involving Paul and patio slabs?

Don't think there's ever been a proper murrrderrr in Ambridge has there?

lljkk Sat 18-May-13 16:29:49

Darrell is the world's biggest wimp! He couldn't scare a mouse.

ppeatfruit Sat 18-May-13 16:36:45

Yes lljkk let alone murder one shock

TallGiraffe Sat 18-May-13 17:20:56

That was an excellent episode!

Macarooned Sat 18-May-13 21:34:39

Ooh murder, that could liven things up but agree Darrell is too wimpy.

It would be a great counter storyline to the Clarrie/Nic flower arranging and church attendance one, which is frankly completely odd...

HearMyRoar Sat 18-May-13 22:38:54

Probably matt will call up one of his gardening mates from when he was inside to do the actual murdering but I can so imagine him getting Darryl in to do the patio work.

PseudoBadger Sat 18-May-13 22:48:35

Just caught up. Episode was ok, more of an 'enabler'. The stage has been set. Although, where were Lillian/Paul/Matt/Angie?

BoreOfWhabylon Sat 18-May-13 22:49:17

Yes! Because Matt will somehow know about dog fighting Darren and will persuade him into going along with patioing Paul to avoid it All Coming Out.

Such fun!

BoreOfWhabylon Sat 18-May-13 22:50:23

Darrell, not Darren

R4 Sun 19-May-13 09:48:47

My latest wrong as usual theory: Matt has organised a proper holiday to Turkey; is it a full fortnight? it's certainly more than a long weekend. As the date arrives he suddenly 'discovers' that he can't take time off. He persuades Lillian to go without him, knowing that she will take Paul instead (he will be easily convinced because he will be vulnerable as he is smarting over the wedding). Whilst the two are well out of the country, Matt will bring into place his master plan that involves financially ruining Paul because he knows that, the moment that the money dries up, Paul will lose his attraction to Lil.
Revenge is a dish best served cold. Mwah ha ha.

ppeatfruit Sun 19-May-13 09:58:10

I wondered about the venue as well Pseudo It was in Watford wasn't it? because she was supposed to be seeing her son? I reckon Matt must have followed Lil (funny how she never noticed him grin).

Nah R4 because she has a lot of money of her own I reckon she'll go off Paul as soon as the truth of his lying over the wedding comes out.

BoreOfWhabylon Sun 19-May-13 12:51:05

Yes, and then Paul will go totally off his trolley, declaring if he can't have her no-one else will and there will be a Dramatic Stand Off with a hostage situation in the love nest.

Matt will batter the door down with his golf clubs (Darrell will be his caddy). Matt will also batter Paul. Darrell will do a bit of patio-laying to hide the evidence.

Sorted.

PseudoBadger Sun 19-May-13 13:50:44

Ah so the ultimate end to Matt and Darryl's criminal careers will be a life term for both of them?

BoreOfWhabylon Sun 19-May-13 14:40:16

Hmmmm... hadn't considered that.

But yes, that could work. And then Lillian and Elona could set up home together.

Don't think there's ever been a lesbian story line, has there?

chocoluvva Sun 19-May-13 14:51:38

Does anyone know what age Lillian is meant to be?

PseudoBadger Sun 19-May-13 14:56:21

She's 65

chocoluvva Sun 19-May-13 14:59:04

65?1 shock eh? Really Thankyou.

Where does she find the energy? I'm 'well jel' as my teenage DD might say.

PigletJohn Sun 19-May-13 15:13:49

65 and smokes like a chimney, hence the croaky old voice. No doubt she's heavily wrinkled and couldn't run for a bus.

chocoluvva Sun 19-May-13 15:18:48

She had a facelift quite a few years ago didn't she?

ppeatfruit Sun 19-May-13 17:01:20

In an old pic. she was much heavier and more heavily wrinkled than she looks now as well piglet. What with the drinking and smoking and having it off\stressed lifestyle it's a wonder she's still upright grin

PseudoBadger Sun 19-May-13 17:02:25

I suppose changing the actress in 2000 was kind of a facelift....

CuttedUpPear Sun 19-May-13 18:46:14

I always wondered how she managed to keep up the sexy business at her age. It's difficult enough at mine, and I'm a few decades younger. hmm

Does Paul just want her for her money then? I never saw it that way.

R4 Sun 19-May-13 19:46:40

No: she wants Paul's money. In Lillian's world, you show someone you love them by showering ridiculous amounts of money on them. She is a material girl; she could never fancy a pauper.

PseudoBadger Sun 19-May-13 20:16:27

Otherwise she'd be with Eddie....

HearMyRoar Sun 19-May-13 20:19:38

It's true pseudo, its very tragic really. Like romeo and Juliet but with more turkeys and cider.

CuttedUpPear Sun 19-May-13 22:43:18

Does Lil love Eddie then?

PseudoBadger Sun 19-May-13 22:55:25

They've always been close and had soft spots for each other. Matt even mentioned it this past week. And Eddie says so on his twitter grin

CuttedUpPear Mon 20-May-13 08:03:34

Eddie has twitter?? shock

R4 Mon 20-May-13 08:57:36

My latest wrong as usual theory version2: Paul is becoming dangerously unhinged and likely to drop Lillian in the mire. Lillian and Eddie have always had a soft spot for each other. It's not Darrell who lays patio for a living, it's Eddie ...

ppeatfruit Mon 20-May-13 10:27:14

Though that's good one R4. Did\does Paul pay for the flat on his own I wonder?

PrincessFiorimonde Mon 20-May-13 10:30:05

Arf at the patio-laying possibilities. I thought Friday's episode was excellent; yesterday's also pretty good as the scales finally seemed to fall from Lilian's eyes.

Agree that the Nic Goes to Church storyline is a bit wtf, though.

mummytime Mon 20-May-13 11:10:45

I wonder if the Nic one, is just because they need someone to carry on with the WI and the Church, no one else of the younger generation seems to.

Ambridge Mon 20-May-13 18:51:58

There's something ever so slightly sinister about Clarrie's eagerness to get Nic to go to church (I speak as a heathen who tbh finds organised religion a bit alarming). It makes me wonder if there's a giant wicker man being secretly built up on Lakey Hill.

And I missed the Matt episode! So angry!

TallGiraffe Mon 20-May-13 19:17:38

Ambridge - I player is your friend...

Well done SW, today's episode was brilliant and totally why I listen. Veterinary drama. Matt with the best line "enjoy your ride" grin .

Ambridge Mon 20-May-13 19:26:42

Yes, as soon as I posted I thought 'oh...' blush!

GrendelsMum Mon 20-May-13 19:32:28

"Enjoy your ride" grin

I agree with Mummytime that the Clarrie-Nick business - simultaneously odd and dull - is just to set up future life so that Nick can be the warm and welcoming working-class heart of Ambridge for the next forty years.

Either that, or Emma will have another hissy fit at Nick and Clarrie spending time together.

Ambridge - would you like to pop round to help me arrange the flowers in church? You only need to stay five minutes... wink

Ambridge Tue 21-May-13 21:33:35

shockshockshock

TheConstantLurker Wed 22-May-13 00:03:58

The Nic/Clarrie/Peggy church bits are cringe worthy. But I also speak as an aetheist with deep suspicion of organised religion. She and her children are being sucked in, brainwashed, taken over by the Christians! Aaaargh!

TallGiraffe Wed 22-May-13 06:22:45

The Nic church scenes are cringeworthy for us Christians too! It's very odd. Go to church or don't. Either way it isn't a big deal. Anyone would think she was becoming a nun.

PseudoBadger Wed 22-May-13 07:25:43

The worst thing about that church episode was yet again they clearly haven't got the budget for actors. So it's Nic and Peggy - "oh look it's Clarrie" <fade out>
<fade in> "oh yes Peggy, Clarrie said that too".
It's like the birthday party all over again.

R4 Wed 22-May-13 08:41:14

I love the way that they clunk segue from one dialogue to another: Susan is talking to Person A in the shop. Person B comes in and asks for something obscure. Susan has to go and "check the stockroom" while Persons A & B have their dialogue.
Pip and Spencer are in the car. Pip has to pop in to the shop to get gossip from Susan a birthday card. Which yoof send cards these dayshmm - they just txt.
Joe is in the pub talking to Nic. He needs to talk to someone else so we send Nic off to ask Freda where his lunch order is.

It's all so awkward and contrived.

GrendelsMum Wed 22-May-13 09:03:19

I want to hear one of Alan's sermons, the ones where he has them rolling in the aisles. Much as I like and respect our (methodist) minister, his sermons are not a substitute for stand-up.

PseudoBadger Wed 22-May-13 09:31:21

The SWs would have to pay the actor then Grendel grin
Alan is a real hoot isn't he....

ppeatfruit Wed 22-May-13 10:37:11

Psuedo They could always use some 'crowd' sound effects though couldn't they? Hands off Alan I LiKE him (I'm not a churchgoer either) but if he were our vicar I might change.....grin

TallGiraffe Wed 22-May-13 12:00:21

I don't understand why they can't afford the actors ATM. They have no other expenses! It's not like they need props or cars or beautiful houses confused

PseudoBadger Wed 22-May-13 12:52:09

Well I am presuming that cost is a factor. But can see no other reason why they'd run a family party of established characters with none of them there!!
I know there is a theory that the BBC are trying to make TA so shot that no one will mind when they axe it....

PseudoBadger Wed 22-May-13 12:52:24

*shit grin

BoreOfWhabylon Wed 22-May-13 13:31:49

If they hadn't persisted with the ludicrous Ambridge Extra, they would have had more dosh to spend on TA.

And possibly also been able to keep the Messageboard <bitter>

Anyway - am fully expecting Jazzer to be recruited as Church Organist next grin

HearMyRoar Wed 22-May-13 18:56:08

I think the message board was to do with website costs rather then archers costs. Different budget I imagine.

BoreOfWhabylon Wed 22-May-13 19:16:36

Maybe so, but I'm still bitter!

GrendelsMum Wed 22-May-13 19:44:28

Why dont they employ the MN posse to do the church sound effects?

I'll be "Old Woman with a Hacking Cough"

PsuedoBadger can be "Person overcome with laughter at the Gospel reading"

PPeatFruit can be "Person swooning at Alan in his vestments"

heronsfly Wed 22-May-13 20:18:33

I think they should employ us to write the scripts too. at least we would get the pregnancy facts right, and the wondrous Henry wouldn't be having conversations about breeds of ducks at 18 months old grin

Ambridge Wed 22-May-13 20:28:00

'I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue' did an Archers parody in the last series - with Victoria Wood playing all the female members of the cast. It was genius.

Oh, and a friend of a friend of a friend who knows things about what happens behind the scenes says that they do actually have a limit on the number of characters appearing in each episode. I'm sure that in the past there would be loads - now you really notice how few people crop up in each one.

LondonMother Wed 22-May-13 21:05:18

There's always been a weekly limit on the number of characters who could speak. If the scriptwriter has a two-hander one night s/he can splash out and have a crowd (by TA standards) on another night.

I'd love to write the scripts. 'Pip! Pip! Don't walk so close to the slurry pit while you're checking your phone.... oh. Too late.'

TallGiraffe Wed 22-May-13 22:06:53

You know how there's an agricultural advisor? Could we not be the pregnancy, parenting and personal relationship advisors?

PseudoBadger Wed 22-May-13 22:10:25

I can! My DS is the same age as Henry, and my EDD is the same as Nics!

PseudoBadger Wed 22-May-13 22:11:11

Oh, but I've never shagged my husband's brother. I'm out sad

ppeatfruit Thu 23-May-13 08:07:40

I couldn't quite work out why the promo for Brian Aldridge the despoiler of the countryside (though i liked the comment that the factory dairy was giving the cows all they need "except green grass blue skies and sun") .

choccyp1g Thu 23-May-13 12:29:27

I hate the new fashion for "single episode" characters, for example the Borsetshire Life Editor had a long conversation with "squire brian" this week, but will probably never be heard again, or might pop up in 3 years time with a new voice.

In recent times, I can recall the Bridge Farm slurry-pit expert, the new market expert, Elizabeth meeting the bank manager. All of them with huge amounts of script, just the once.

In the olden days you knew where you were with the Archers.

ppeatfruit Thu 23-May-13 12:43:39

choccyI DO remember that editor having a discussion with Lindy when she was writing for the magazine and he seemed a lot more 'airheady' than the manipulative type the SWs made him into with Brine. I suppose it gives work to actors. Yes I agree that TA is not what it was (i still listen though).

TallGiraffe Thu 23-May-13 17:55:39

Don't forget Maurice the comedy scouse sausage expert...

R4 Thu 23-May-13 23:05:29

Talking of comedyhmm what was going on with today's homage to Lady Bracknell? It really does feel like the SW are mucking about, testing to see how far they can go before they get their knuckles rapped.

PseudoBadger Fri 24-May-13 05:59:48

I haven't heard it yet. But over on the new Mustardland they have ideas for the future:

Lilian: "Where shall I go? What shall I do?"
Matt: "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn" grin

choccyp1g Fri 24-May-13 13:01:21

TallGiraffe Yes, Maurice the comedy scouse...previously known as maurice the compulsive gambler.
But at least he is a part of the village, works for Tom, gets mentioned occasionally, but these others are just "randoms" (to use the current vernacular)

BoreOfWhabylon Fri 24-May-13 16:29:45

Isn't Maurice the comedy Brummie?

ppeatfruit Fri 24-May-13 16:36:07

Why TF doesn't Matt. actually say he knows ? Lil can't be as thick as all that can she? with the huge clanging hints he's giving her.

Anyone reckon they're setting the scene for Jack's death? sad

lljkk Fri 24-May-13 18:04:52

Matt has his pride.
He's figuring out the situation, is Lil being used or is she just using Matt, how does she really feel about Matt, what kind of man is Paul, etc.

BoreOfWhabylon Fri 24-May-13 19:17:29

Aha! He's figured it out.

Patio time grin!

OliviaMMumsnet (MNHQ) Sat 25-May-13 00:00:18

ppeatfruit

Anyone reckon they're setting the scene for Jack's death? sad

Hope Ilona feels guilty.

I dont think they'll put paul under the patio.

ppeatfruit Sat 25-May-13 08:30:17

Yes Olivia it sounded like there could be a reconciliation between Ilona and Darryl didn't it?

Also maybe like Paul could put himself round a tree in his car grin shock

Tommy Sat 25-May-13 08:44:19

I'm thinking now that the Paul beating will take place either just before they go to Turkey so Lil doesn't want to go (or has she had enough of Paul now after the stalking bit?) OR while they're away so she doesn't know until they get back. Or will she care now? Was the stalking/crazy driving thing the end for her?
confused

ppeatfruit Sat 25-May-13 08:55:45

If it isn't enough for her then the SWs will have changed her character into 'victim'; though the way TA is going it wouldn't be surprising would it?

Tommy Sat 25-May-13 09:00:15

good point ppeatfruit - but very disappointing. when she started the affair I was thinking "you go, girl" as Matt was being such an a**e at the time. I can't really believe that someone so feisty and independent would shrivel like this.
Or maybe thankfully, I haven't had enough experience of such EAers

seeker Sat 25-May-13 09:03:08

I think Matt's never going to tell Lillian he knows.

Wierd.

ppeatfruit Sat 25-May-13 09:08:24

Even weirder that she hasn't guessed he knows grin

seeker Sat 25-May-13 09:29:19

The whole thing's really stupid. And I'm losing patience with it.

And why haven't we heard from Brenda? I thought she and Helen were friends- or is Helen now so taken up with her new friend Emma (always good for an Archer to have someone to patronise!) that she hasn't got any time for her?

OliviaMMumsnet (MNHQ) Sat 25-May-13 10:14:09

seeker

I think Matt's never going to tell Lillian he knows.

Wierd.

I think it's a power thing.

seeker Sat 25-May-13 10:16:23

Do you think he's saving it, and will spring it on her in 10 years time?

Oh, oh.oh- or is he going to use it to pressure her into buying the bit of land Lizzie's selling?

Matt's my new favourite, and "I don't want Armageddon" is my new catch phrase!

ppeatfruit Sat 25-May-13 12:04:35

I'm not sure about their finances but I thought that Lil holds the financial clout and he has to appease her am I right?

Tommy Sat 25-May-13 12:23:02

think so ppeatfruit - he's not allowed to run the business legally

Tommy Sat 25-May-13 12:24:00

I think you are right Olivia - it's power, not love (sadly)

ppeatfruit Sun 26-May-13 13:36:02

Soooo Matt is going to have Paul done over while they're away so if th e hit man gets too enthusiastic and Matt gets put away she'll not have either of them (that'll learn 'er not to get mixed up with shady types won't it?)

heronsfly Sun 26-May-13 14:15:38

Ohhhh no, I don't want to wait till the end of june to hear Paul get what's coming to him. grin

ppeatfruit Sun 26-May-13 15:51:53

Paul may well put his car round a tree before then with any luck. I just realised why Matt hasn't told Lil he knows about the affair so she won't be able to 'put the finger' on him grin

heronsfly Sun 26-May-13 15:58:13

Good thinking fruit, Matt has covered himself well grin

lljkk Sun 26-May-13 20:49:45

Whole thing could backfire if Lillian is present for the attack, she foils it, the police arrest the attacker, he fingers Matt....

Kinda obvious, no?

heronsfly Sun 26-May-13 20:57:22

Noooo, I think Matt will make sure Lillian is under his beady eye when paul gets beaten to a pulp the unfortunate accident takes place.

BoreOfWhabylon Sun 26-May-13 22:31:53

I must say, the hitman sounds a bit dopey. Do we think he will get the right man or some random?

ppeatfruit Mon 27-May-13 10:44:51

Aah but lljkk she'll be in Turkey with Matt won't she? The whole reason for the trip is as herons says to "keep a beady eye" on her grin

lljkk Mon 27-May-13 11:54:00

No, no, not while on Turkey, much sooner. Matt was talking to his Hired-Thug yesterday, Thug saying he couldn't get on with the job because the guy wasn't home. Hired Thug kept asking Matt how to find the guy. It was supposed to happen ASAP. Hence why Matt is keeping close tabs on Lil for now, i imagine, but he can't keep eye on her 24/7.

ppeatfruit Mon 27-May-13 12:02:21

Oh blimey I didn't hear that!!

ppeatfruit Mon 27-May-13 12:03:33

I'll listen again!!

BoreOfWhabylon Mon 27-May-13 12:08:35

Am not at all confident that Hired Thug will find the right guy. And, if he does, it seems quite likely that Newly Nasty Paul might just pound him into a pulp.

heronsfly Mon 27-May-13 18:44:23

When the Hired Thug first spoke I did think it might be Darrell but he seemed to change voice after the first sentence.

lljkk Mon 27-May-13 20:35:42

Darrell is such a wimp, he probably cringes about mowing the daisies.

ppeatfruit Tue 28-May-13 09:14:51

IIjkk i'm a wimp I cringe about mowing the daisies grin

ArtexMonkey Tue 28-May-13 15:59:24

Lljkk grin

ppeatfruit Tue 28-May-13 16:05:20

Soooo what does anyone reckon to Pip having a fling with the champion of the single wicket who 'pretended' he was 'rusty' at it grin

I reckon Lilian 'll end up without either of her crazy boyfriends; serve her right grin

JessieMcJessie Tue 28-May-13 16:11:13

Words cannot express my joy at finding a whole section of Archers discussions on Mumsnet! Anyone else here a refugee from the BBC boards?

Thoroughly agree with how sinister the "Nic goes to Church" storyline is - "Junior Church" sounds particularly brainwashy. Though I actually do like Alan - rather liked the AmEx storyline about him and his wayward pal from University.

Very disappointed that Matt is turning into a pantomime hitman villan - have the SWs completely forgotten Costa Rica, when he showed a bit of genuine love and vulnerability? I always thought that the actor was one of the better ones, and it would be interesting to hear him play scenes where he confronts Lil, devastated about the affair and shames her by showing how hurt he is. Instead we're going to get "hit man plan goes awry" and Matt probably back in the chokey.

ppeatfruit Tue 28-May-13 16:35:59

hello jessie but Matt is a fraudster and was in clink, but you're right the S.Ws are playing with the characters' personalities now more.

The local church isn't the moonies is it? Just a community centre with a misguided but very 'normal' theme!

CuttedUpPear Tue 28-May-13 16:52:31

I can't remember what happened in Costa Rica, please remind me.

Hi Jessie welcome to the Archers Radio Addicts pages. I think people do sometimes mention other programmes within these hallowed cyberwalls, but not often! smile

BoreOfWhabylon Tue 28-May-13 17:14:23

Hello Jessie, I think there are quite a few Mustard refugees here, although names have been changed!

JessieMcJessie Tue 28-May-13 17:46:54

I admit I am probably projecting my own militant atheism on to the poor organless Ambridge Church! The idea of the whole village rushing to make flowery saint tableaux is quite bizarre, though, and I look forward to hearing the scriptwriters' attempts to put descriptive words into the characters' mouths. it's a bit disappointing they never did more with Jim's atheism, he is far more church-tolerant than he promised to be.

IIRC correctly, in Costa Rica Pusscat made it clear that she couldn't face a life on the run away from Ambridge and Tiger at the last minute swallowed his fear and came home to face the music rather than be free without her. Which is pretty bloody impressive given the likely ablundance of nubile senoritas who would have been willing to keep a flash old bloke company into hos old age with few questions asked.But I may have misrembered.

PseudoBadger Tue 28-May-13 17:59:46

"organless Ambridge Church" ha ha is that a comment on Alan's masculinity! Shall we call him 'Action Man Alan' grin

PseudoBadger Tue 28-May-13 18:47:48

And yes Jessie, I came to MN from ML when this thread was linked grin

BoreOfWhabylon Tue 28-May-13 19:20:48

grin grin grin

I missed that thread pseudobadger. Priceless.

Perhaps Lillian should post in Relationships?

<rolls up trouser leg and gives funny handshake to pseudobadger and Jessie >

ArtexMonkey Tue 28-May-13 19:55:10

Oh hai pseudo, Jessie, bore

wink

BoreOfWhabylon Tue 28-May-13 20:01:21

wink Artex grin

LondonMother Tue 28-May-13 20:52:11

<shuffles a bit> I'm a refugee too. I've spent a fortune on my new cyber-ID papers.

BoreOfWhabylon Tue 28-May-13 20:56:40

<does weird handshake with LondonMother>

ppeatfruit Wed 29-May-13 09:29:40

It took me a little while to cotton on psuedo (and if you hadn't linked to it i would 've taken longer DUH grin) Also could someone explain Mustardland to dim old me please?

I remember Costa Rica now; yes Matt showed uncharacteristic sensitivity but was it because he had to follow the money she held the purse strings?

JessieMcJessie Wed 29-May-13 10:34:53

Mustardland (or "ML") was the mickname for the old BBC Archers message board because it was a mustard-yellow colour. It is also the name of the gigantic condiment warehouse where Tom buys his relishes for Gourmet Grills. wink

ppeatfruit Wed 29-May-13 12:04:38

Oh thanks Jessie That's the message board that they've discontinued? I never went on it I spose you guessed!

BoreOfWhabylon Wed 29-May-13 19:18:55

You missed a treat, ppeat. All human life was there. And some great Archers parodies.

ArtexMonkey Wed 29-May-13 19:22:03

It was really really a fab place. The thread where Shula was ceremoniously burnt in a wicker man on lakey hill was joyous.

OldBeanbagz Wed 29-May-13 19:26:00

Paul was getting very intense this evening, is he going to turn up on Lillian's doorstep again?

I never expected Tom to turn up at the wrong moment!

BoreOfWhabylon Wed 29-May-13 19:26:29

Memories
Misty mustard-coloured memories
Of the way we we-e-ere
grin

R4 Wed 29-May-13 20:34:40

Could someone please explain what happened tonight because I'm confused but cba to Listen Again. Who was banging on Matt's door. Where were Paul/Tom - in Felpersham? How/why did Tom get there? If Ambridge, why did Paul say he needed money for the parking meter.
Really confused.confused

BoreOfWhabylon Wed 29-May-13 20:39:56

I was half listening when smoke started pouring out of the grill (I'd accidentally left it turned on and closed the door).

This distracted me a bit so I'm going to have to LA.

OldBeanbagz Wed 29-May-13 20:50:28

I'm not sure who was knocking on Matt's door because he was talking to the hitman (?) on the phone. Was it Lillian disturbing him?

Paul/Tom were in Felpersham. Paul was on his way to the flat when he was accosted and Tom came to his help. Maybe the excuse about the change for the meter was so he could get away so that Tom wouldn't call the police?

GrendelsMum Wed 29-May-13 21:11:54

I enjoyed tonight's episode no end, despite not knowing what was going on, and thinking WTF where did Tom suddenly appear from?

I thought it was Lilian disturbing Matt when he was talking to the hitman?

GrendelsMum Wed 29-May-13 21:12:35

Oh, and I thought they were in Felpersham, Paul was shocked by the attack and realising it was Matt that had sent the hitman, and was just wittering about needing change.

BoreOfWhabylon Thu 30-May-13 00:12:00

My latest theory: Paul will now go after Matt, whilst dopey hitman goes after Paul.

ppeatfruit Thu 30-May-13 10:07:38

OOOH I'm getting excited now I'll listen p.m.

BoreOfWhabylon Thu 30-May-13 14:49:55

Just listened again. Is Dopey Hitman Darrell?

ppeatfruit Thu 30-May-13 15:04:29

TA is obviously on a budget but even they wouldn't be soo daft as to use the same actor as Darrell would they?..... It's poss. I suppose they have similar accents grin he was a bit chicken and stupid why would he try to 'warn' him in the street when he knows where his flat is.

ppeatfruit Thu 30-May-13 15:05:58

I'm also confused about Lil not confiding in Jenny (who knew she met Paul before).

heronsfly Thu 30-May-13 15:09:22

I did think the hired thug might be Darrell,but his voice seemed to change after first few words.
Maybe they are using the same actor or it is Darrell

LondonMother Thu 30-May-13 15:27:14

Tom would have recognised Darrell, though.

Ambridge Thu 30-May-13 15:30:54

If only Dopey Hitman would go after Tom.....<wistful>

ppeatfruit Thu 30-May-13 15:48:14

Typical bleedin' TA SWs; Hitman;- 'i've got a message for you' Tom "oy you" hitman ;- "oh blimey i'm off" Not '"keep away from Lil or else" That would be too easy grin

BoreOfWhabylon Thu 30-May-13 16:08:10

See, Matt knows Darrell is desperate for money (and he may also have worked out his involvement in doggate) so quite possible that Dopey Darrell was persuaded to rough up Paul.

BUT Paul now knows that someone is out to get him and goes after Matt, while Dopey Darrell/Hitman continues to pursue Paul.

I do hope it will all end in an exciting denouement, involving Lil being held hostage.

ppeatfruit Thu 30-May-13 16:11:29

But as londonMother said doesn't Tom know darrell? he would've recognised him surely ? unless he was wearing a black mask and swagman's stripey sweater of course grin

BoreOfWhabylon Thu 30-May-13 16:13:02

He might have only seen him from the back though?

ppeatfruit Thu 30-May-13 16:31:23

Nah Darrell hasn't got the bottle (good thought though!!)

LifeIsBetterInFlipFlops Thu 30-May-13 16:32:33

I think the Nic / Clarrie church thing will kick things off again with Emma when she realises Nic is taking George to church.

LondonMother Thu 30-May-13 17:57:27

Isn't Tom Darrell's next door neighbour? I know Tom is very self-absorbed but even he would surely recognise his NDN from the back. I'm very taken with the idea of a balaclava and a stripy jumper, though.

R4 Thu 30-May-13 21:38:23

I'm pretty sure that Darrell isn't the hitman because I seem to recall a scene recently where Darrell was round at Matt's in person immediately before/after Matt had been on the phone to the hitman.

GrendelsMum Thu 30-May-13 22:07:38

But Nic isn't taking George to church - she's taking her kids, while George spends time with Will checking on the birds.

Could Emma kick off when she realises that George isn't been taken to church?

I also love the idea of self-aborbed Tom failing to notice his next-door-neighbour when dressed in a stripy jumper and carrying a bag marked 'swag'.

LifeIsBetterInFlipFlops Fri 31-May-13 05:43:37

Oh...that's blown my theory re George....I'm a week or so behind, I haven't listened to last Sunday's omnibus yet.

ppeatfruit Fri 31-May-13 06:42:31

Don't forget the balaclava grendels!!

GrendelsMum Fri 31-May-13 12:46:58

Ah, the balaclava will make all the difference - if only he'd thought of that when he got involved with the dogfights.

ppeatfruit Fri 31-May-13 15:14:07

Yes we're a lot brighter than him eh grin though that's not too hard grin

BoreOfWhabylon Fri 31-May-13 16:25:56

I have just discovered, via TA site, that Dopey Hitman is named... Mikey!
So not Darrell then.
Probably his brother.

tourdefrance Sat 01-Jun-13 10:17:06

But didn't Matt refer to Bernard when his phone rang at breakfast with Lil l last weekend ?? Am totally confused.

PigletJohn Sun 02-Jun-13 10:49:23

I think Bernard is the golfing buddy. Matt pretended it was him on the phone when Crusher phoned.

Crusher does not seem very bright or competent.

PigletJohn Sun 02-Jun-13 10:50:26

Mikey then, not Crusher.

His accent moves from Estuary to North of Watford.

PseudoBadger Sun 02-Jun-13 12:25:19

What else could you be with a name like Crusher - but a hitman?

ppeatfruit Sun 02-Jun-13 13:12:45

Soo Tom is going to be a witness then as well as getting off with Kirstie grin I reckon she's set her cap at him and he likes her cap!grin

PseudoBadger Sun 02-Jun-13 13:42:48

It'll just be a rebound shag, she won't want to get messed up with him again

PigletJohn Sun 02-Jun-13 13:51:09

I made up "Crusher" blush

ppeatfruit Sun 02-Jun-13 13:52:56

I don't know so much Psuedo she said she's on the lookout for husband material when she dumped Ifti. Tom [who's soon going to push Brine out of the Squire of Ambridge position with his upmarket ready meals grin) is in the market for a wife too is'nt he?

PseudoBadger Sun 02-Jun-13 14:10:31

I know piglet.... I thought it was an autocorrect actually!

ppeatfruit Sun 02-Jun-13 14:32:28

I like 'crusher' though and it looks like he's going to get his chance to show his crushing skills as Paul is getting more and more mad (you can't warn off a madman grin)

OliviaMMumsnet (MNHQ) Sun 02-Jun-13 16:13:11

BoreOfWhabylon

I have just discovered, via TA site, that Dopey Hitman is named... Mikey!

Does anyone else remember the game show "interceptor" where the baddie's helicopter was called Mikey. ANd he used to say "'get me outta here Mikey.
That is what I was thinking of when I heard this.

As for voice of TV ads Kirstie WHAT is she thinking?!?
"Oh Tom, I LURVE hearing about your ready meals! "

<boak>

Who is DAMIAN that she was meeting later????

BoreOfWhabylon Sun 02-Jun-13 16:59:26

Damian is bloke Kirsty is currently seeing - don't think we have ever heard him though.

Clearly, she still yearns for the meaty charms of Sausage Boy but I fear it will all end in tears again - he dumped her once before (leopards, spots and all that).

OliviaMMumsnet (MNHQ) Sun 02-Jun-13 17:09:16

BoreOfWhabylon

Clearly, she still yearns for the meaty charms of Sausage Boy but I fear it will all end in tears again - he dumped her once before (leopards, spots and all that).

grin grin
and <boak> at meaty charms.
Also I misread leopard as LEOTARD and shuddered even more.
Am giggling to myself.

BoreOfWhabylon Sun 02-Jun-13 17:17:16

Sausage Boy in a leotard!

<boak> indeed! grin

lljkk Sun 02-Jun-13 17:19:55

I am pretty sure Kirsty dumped Tom, actually, he was two-timing with Lauren during one of the Xmas pantos (yonks ago).

BoreOfWhabylon Sun 02-Jun-13 17:33:23

Maybe there were a couple of dumpings then? Pretty sure he dumped her for the Supermarket Sausage-Buyer Woman (all back in the mists of time!)

It'll all be in Here somewhere

BoreOfWhabylon Sun 02-Jun-13 17:36:55

Potted Kirsty Backstory Here

I'd forgotten she went out with Sam before he had a fling with Roooooth!

OliviaMMumsnet (MNHQ) Sun 02-Jun-13 17:43:13

who was Lauren?
I remember Tamsin the buyer...
Hate the photos on the archers website
They are all WRONG

BoreOfWhabylon Sun 02-Jun-13 17:45:08

They are nothing but imposters Olivia

(Can't remember Lauren, either, although vaguely remember the name)

BoreOfWhabylon Sun 02-Jun-13 17:59:44

er, impostOrs blush

ppeatfruit Sun 02-Jun-13 18:44:07

Blimey Kirstie 's got history! wasn't she seeing a wild life enthusiast at some time? They were having fun in the "HIDE" weren't they?

BoreOfWhabylon Sun 02-Jun-13 20:00:51

Kirsty and Tom have both been quite, er... active in the past.

PseudoBadger Sun 02-Jun-13 20:01:47

Tom's meant to be a hottie

ppeatfruit Sun 02-Jun-13 20:40:23

No mark my words there'll be a wedding Tom and Kirsty will tie the knot. (hoists bosom and looks over glasses) Oh yes.

BoreOfWhabylon Sun 02-Jun-13 21:06:45

I think you are right ppeat

Unless... the wedding is about to go ahead and then Brenda declares that she lurves Tom and he realises it's Brenda he really wants after all.

Leaving poor Kirsty back on the shelf again. grin

chocoluvva Sun 02-Jun-13 22:05:41

Aww, poor Kirsty - she's so nice.

CuttedUpPear Sun 02-Jun-13 23:13:20

I could never understand why Kirsty is so unlucky in love - her voice is the sexiest thing in TA!
It looks inevitable that she and tom will be At It soon but I wish she could find someone less dreary!

BoreOfWhabylon Sun 02-Jun-13 23:40:11

Trouble is, to do that she would have to venture outside The Enclave.

ppeatfruit Mon 03-Jun-13 07:47:22

So she and nature boy never 'did it' then? I couldve sworn there was chemistry there!

CuttedUpPear Mon 03-Jun-13 07:53:08

By The Enclave I am thinking you mean Ambridge Organics. That narrows it down then.

R4 Mon 03-Jun-13 08:53:22

But The Enclave includes Jaxx where she also works: that's two public-facing roles so you would think she would have met someone by now. The SW have not been kind to her.sad

PseudoBadger Mon 03-Jun-13 08:58:28

She has so many roles to fulfil - she's the Miss Rabbit of Ambridge!

ppeatfruit Mon 03-Jun-13 09:39:35

They'[re saving her for her prince TOM!!!!

PseudoBadger Mon 03-Jun-13 16:38:25

I just listened to last night's episode. I'm so bored of distracted Lillian. This SL had better end soon.

R4 Mon 03-Jun-13 21:20:16

And I am so bored of the SW setting up a plot to come to a climax on a definite date and then, when we get to aforementioned certain day, they coquettishly focus on something else entirely. Grr.

OliviaMMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 03-Jun-13 21:30:04

Yes I do not give a flying fuschia about the sodding flower festival either

WhatSheSaid Tue 04-Jun-13 01:51:30

Where is Matt whisking Lillian off to for their big holiday? Is it Istanbul or have I got that completely wrong? If it is, I'm wondering if the scriptwriters will have to do a hasty rewrite if the unrest there continues.

That's if they actually make it there and Unhinged Paul hasn't locked
Lillian in the Felpersham flat instead.

CuttedUpPear Tue 04-Jun-13 04:56:14

Lillian did say to Jennifer "Look I don't even know if we'll be going to Turkey with all the trouble there". It segued in so well it makes me wonder what the SWs had planned before this.

YY R4 it's a crap tactic.

JessieMcJessie Tue 04-Jun-13 05:57:53

I'm ashamed to say I learned about the unrest in Turkey from Lilian rather than the news. VERY speedy topical insert there!

JessieMcJessie Tue 04-Jun-13 05:58:42

PS I have to say I was rather hoping that Lil would push open the bedroom door to find Paul hanging from the rafters.

WhatSheSaid Tue 04-Jun-13 06:12:55

I hadn't actually listened to the latest episode when I posted about Istanbul. I just listened online and yes, they have quickly thrown in a bit about Turkey in Lillian and Jenny Darlings phone call

heronsfly Tue 04-Jun-13 07:33:54

I'm bored with it all now too, liked the idea of Paul hanging from the rafters though grin.

Songbird Tue 04-Jun-13 16:00:06

Two very dull episodes Sunday and Monday. OMG that conversation between Peggy and Jill, I nearly hung myself from the rafters!!!

PseudoBadger Tue 04-Jun-13 16:16:20

But colouring in never loses it's appeal does it?

grin

PseudoBadger Tue 04-Jun-13 16:16:50

*its

Songbird Tue 04-Jun-13 16:50:34

Haha, I had to agree with her - I love a good doodle and colour myself. But I just kept thinking, WHAT IS THE POINT OF ALL OF THIS?!?!?!

TallGiraffe Tue 04-Jun-13 17:33:34

I nearly through something at Jennifer last night, could she get any more irritating?!

OldBeanbagz Tue 04-Jun-13 18:57:57

JessieMcJessie I have to say i was expecting Lillian to find a body last night too. Thought Mikey might have carried out his threats.

There's something fishy about Rob too. Do you think his wife actually exists?

Theas18 Tue 04-Jun-13 18:59:52

Nope Rob is mr closet gay .... or possibly mr " not married really but heterosexual" so helen can marry him just to really upset pat n tony

BoreOfWhabylon Tue 04-Jun-13 19:57:42

Ah, Thea, I think you're on to something there! Although I think Mrs Rob exists but is a fiercely independent career woman (much like Hellin!) and the relationship is in trouble because she puts her career before her man. This will allow Hellin to move in on him.

For it is a truth universally acknowledged that any man who moves to Ambridge unaccompanied by a woman must be in need of an Archer grin

lljkk Tue 04-Jun-13 20:11:51

Anyone listen tonite?! Telegraphing Closeted Rob or what?
SWs seem determined to undermine Adam & Ian at every turn.

lljkk Tue 04-Jun-13 20:31:00

Is Adam's Gaydar malfunctioning or what?

PseudoBadger Tue 04-Jun-13 20:44:30

There seemed to be chemistry.... But maybe these crap SWs believe that all gay men fancy other men?
I turned off before the end, mid the longest conversation ever between David and Ruth - it was bizarre! Like they were improvising!

BoreOfWhabylon Tue 04-Jun-13 20:50:10

Maybe Hellin will make a move on Rob, not realising that he is closeted, with Hilarious Consequences (although rather think we had that scenario before, just can't remember between whom).

CuttedUpPear Tue 04-Jun-13 21:04:51

Oh god yes Deevid and Rooth...why? It's so boring! (As Pip would say).

tourdefrance Wed 05-Jun-13 06:37:23

No I don't think Rob is gay just is wife has realised what a jobs desert borsetshire is and their marriage was already bad. What is he doing on Ambridge on a BH Mon when he should be with his wife.
I don't think there's room for another gay in the village without a love interest and giving him Ian or Adam would just be a rehash of last year's affair with Pavel. The chemistry was just mutual empathy about what a pita Brian can be

CuttedUpPear Wed 05-Jun-13 06:48:30

I don't understand what Rob is doing in Ambridge at all (disclaimer: DS keeps talking while TA is on). Is he the mega dairy's new manager?

If it's so hard for them to get workers from abroad what's wrong with offering jobs to the underemployed of Ambridge?

OldBeanbagz Wed 05-Jun-13 09:46:03

If Adam and Rob hit it off, that'll leave Helen free to persue Ian. I have strong suspicions he's the biological father of Henry. I'm not buying any of that last minute cancellation at the clinic!

FIFIBEBE Thu 06-Jun-13 19:10:39

Wow, didn't see that coming.

Somethingyesterday Thu 06-Jun-13 19:14:54

OMG! Dead!!!

MaudLebowski Thu 06-Jun-13 19:17:45

What! Who's dead! I've missed tonights! <flaps about panicking>

PseudoBadger Thu 06-Jun-13 19:18:12

I haven't listened yet. But I'm glad it's over. Let's never speak of it again.

Theas18 Thu 06-Jun-13 19:21:02

Deaded... Wow!

Somethingyesterday Thu 06-Jun-13 19:21:15

Sorry! Forgot spoilering for later listeners. SO excited.

Somethingyesterday Thu 06-Jun-13 19:24:14

BTW when did Emma stop cleaning for Adam and Ian? Did I miss it? Or have the SWs forgotten? She didn't mention it to Peggy...

SimoneDeBeaver Thu 06-Jun-13 19:24:49

How very convenient of him! SWs had lost their way grin

lljkk Thu 06-Jun-13 19:31:57

There will be an inquest, don't think this is over with at all.

heronsfly Thu 06-Jun-13 19:39:49

Who is Deaded ?, can't listen till I go to bed .

BoreOfWhabylon Thu 06-Jun-13 19:46:25

Gah! Damp squib. I wanted a proper deading.

<draws veil until everyone has caught up>

Aaaaanyway... am I the only one hoping that the search for managers for the MegaDairy will herald the return of Sam Batten? Will Roooth be able to resist the lure of his platemeter this time?

Somethingyesterday Thu 06-Jun-13 19:56:51

No - was good. Out of the blue. All Ambridge deaths should happen off screen. I'm still traumatised by Polly....

HomelessAngua Thu 06-Jun-13 21:20:01

Aaaaasrrrghhhh - was Paul deaded? Please?

PrincessFiorimonde Thu 06-Jun-13 21:35:28

Hahaha! Inquest will drag it all out for ages yet.

gwenniebee Thu 06-Jun-13 22:36:51

I thought Lilian was rather convincing tonight... I know she and Joleeeen get on reasonably but it seemed natural that she should spill all to the nearest vaguely trustworthy person whilst having a total breakdown.

Hmm.... after all the non-episodes of recent weeks it was rather a good one tonight.

katatonic Thu 06-Jun-13 22:47:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

heronsfly Fri 07-Jun-13 05:08:46

Well, thats that then.
Rather surprised at Emma thinking she would get the cleaning job with Kira in tow.

WhatSheSaid Fri 07-Jun-13 05:51:19

I know, it doesn't seem to occur to Emma to leave her with one of Keira's two grandmothers who live in the same village - the job is only for a few hours a week isn't it? And neither Clarrie nor Susan work full-time do they?

Somethingyesterday Fri 07-Jun-13 07:14:36

Clarrie - dairy + pub + seasonal turkey plucking. Susan - dairy + shop / post office. But Emma will probably get the job in the end , after Peggy has had her mind changed by one of her children.

lljkk Fri 07-Jun-13 08:14:22

Remember Jolene broke up Sid+Cathy's marriage, she's no angel. Lil broke up Matt+1st wife, too.

PigletJohn Fri 07-Jun-13 09:48:04

what a pity Emma doesn't have a friend, neighbour or relation who is a young mum, knows the kids, and would be willing to help out with childcare, that she gets on with.

WhatSheSaid Fri 07-Jun-13 09:56:41

Ooh, like her new best friend Helen?

mummytime Fri 07-Jun-13 10:19:04

Joulene was also a threat to Ed and Clarrie back in the mists of time.

OliviaMMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 07-Jun-13 11:15:23

BoreOfWhabylon

Gah! Damp squib. I wanted a proper deading.

<draws veil until everyone has caught up>

Aaaaanyway... am I the only one hoping that the search for managers for the MegaDairy will herald the return of Sam Batten? Will Roooth be able to resist the lure of his platemeter this time?

Ooh now that IS a good'un
But I think that it will be someone forrin - Rob was talking to Adam about visas etc

I don't want Emma to get the job. <no good reason why>

Jolene and Eddie? Surely not?!?

lljkk Fri 07-Jun-13 11:55:37

Okay, Trivia Time:
Who knows Jolene's real name? No cheating & looking online!

OliviaMMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 07-Jun-13 12:04:18

is it not Jolene?!?
is she called that cos of Dolly PArton?!?

Somethingyesterday Fri 07-Jun-13 12:30:43

lljkk Now I've had to stop what I was doing (yay!) to puzzle this out. I'm certain it's in the back of my brain somewhere. Who would she have told.... Sid? Kenton? Lillian...? Caroline - when she had a share of the pub...? Did we hear it during a wedding ceremony? Of course Eddie probably knows. And Fallon. This is painful. How can I not know?

heronsfly Fri 07-Jun-13 13:27:56

I think she might have told watshername that was with Sid before her, I am finding it hard to resist googling it grin

LondonMother Fri 07-Jun-13 13:29:11

Doreen!

MrsCampbellBlack Fri 07-Jun-13 13:32:08

Honestly, I just wanted to shake Emmur. Oooh poppet put the caat down, I know you're just being friendly . . .

Peggy was having none of it. Although, Peggy is also annoying me.

BoreOfWhabylon Fri 07-Jun-13 14:00:15

Jolene was Doreen Rogers, wasn't she? changed her name when she took up Country & Western singing. Eddie had a bit of a thang for her when he was in the band, much to Clarrie's displeasure, but I don't think they ever actually did they deed.

But who can ever forget the Shower Scene betwixt Jolene and Sid (there isn't enough brain-bleach in all the world!)

lljkk Fri 07-Jun-13 15:47:35

Joe told someone in The Bull Jolene's real name. Maybe we've been told other times, that's the occasion I remember.

After Angel Kira's rampage thru Susan's ornaments, you'd think Emmur could figure out for herself that Peggy's was a no-go zone.

heronsfly Fri 07-Jun-13 16:04:23

Emmas surprised tone of voice when Peggy had the audacity to ask her what she would do with Kira while she was working made me want to borrow the hired thug to finish her off grin

RocknRollNerd Fri 07-Jun-13 17:45:56

As I was driving home I just had a terrible thought....all those anguished voicemails from Lillian...they're going to be found aren't they?

Am I due any credit for my speculation that Darrell-ex-machina was going to be involved - he was purely in the pub yesterday to break the news wasn't he?

PigletJohn Fri 07-Jun-13 17:56:27

i wonder if matt and Lil will go to the funeral and have embarrassing meetings with his family.

Saker Fri 07-Jun-13 17:56:46

Delurking to say I think the new dairy manager will be the fruit picker guy who had the fling with Adam (whose name escapes me). I know he was only a fruit picker but didn't he have a big interest in New Ways of Farming.

MrsCampbellBlack Fri 07-Jun-13 17:57:51

I was surprised that paul's daughter had called matt.

I also thought the same re. the voicemails.

And what was he doing in Cardiff?

PseudoBadger Fri 07-Jun-13 18:04:18

He told Lillian that he had a job in Cardiff.

Re the voicemails- unless Paul was married or seeing someone else I don't think it matters if they are found does it?

Matt knows anyway and he seems to want to spare her feelings.

RocknRollNerd Fri 07-Jun-13 18:07:59

Good point, Matt already knows but perhaps there's some shit to come with Paul's kids and Anita Dobson Celia? He was so vile to them about Celia remarrying his friend I can't imagine they will take to kindly to him shagging his half-brother's partner?

MrsCampbellBlack Fri 07-Jun-13 18:12:54

Yes, perhaps he did change his will and has left it all to Lillian

OliviaMMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 07-Jun-13 18:56:38

You think the Dairy assistant will be Pawel (sp?)

Did Kira break Susan's Krystal Bowl?

I didn't know Eddie was in the band (!)

And Anita Dobson was trumpeted too loudly for her part to be over already, surely?

Somethingyesterday Fri 07-Jun-13 19:08:31

Matt's being so (dangerously) lovely...

BoreOfWhabylon Fri 07-Jun-13 19:22:53

Not certain that Eddie was actually properly in the band, Olivia, but Jolene was and they definitely bonded over a shared love of all things Country.

www.amazon.co.uk/World-Eddie-Grundy-Trevor-Harrison/dp/B0000070RE

LondonMother Sat 08-Jun-13 09:45:51

Inspired thinking about Pawel!

heronsfly Sat 08-Jun-13 16:20:45

I think the love nest flat will be Lills, but Matt will probably only think about the extra rent it will bring in.
I'm surprised whiny Emma got offered the job, and who is paying thingy Horrobin to babysit ?

TheConstantLurker Sun 09-Jun-13 09:21:14

Surely the love nest was rented? I think the whole heart attack in some random anonymous Cardiff hotel is such a cop out. It's as if the sws simply ran out of steam. There were so many interesting possibilities linked to the affair and his behaviour and encounters with Celia etc etc. All gone or are they?
Will everyone attend a funeral?

Somethingyesterday Sun 09-Jun-13 09:46:05

I'm still hoping the SWs will take a really forensic approach to dismantling the love nest. Lillian must have left stuff there - surely something with her name and address on it. The letting agents (?) would have his home details and would need to contact his family. Perhaps his children could take Lillian's stuff to Ambridge.... Or might she just go and pick everything up herself? It would be frustrating if the whole story is dropped at this point. Especially as they're making Matt so complex..... It's hard to reconcile the forty thousand pound gambling debt he took from Alastair, and all his various cruelties, with the long game he's playing at the moment.

PigletJohn Sun 09-Jun-13 10:55:32

1) Lil has not seen the body
2) Lil did not go to the funeral
3) Matt and Lil are not in touch with Paul's family and friends
4) Matt spoke to a person claiming to be Paul's daughter
5) Paul is cunning and devious.

you see where I'm going here?

Somethingyesterday Sun 09-Jun-13 10:59:13

Piglet You're frightening me!

PigletJohn Sun 09-Jun-13 11:21:54

6) He conveniently "died" far from home where nobody knows him and nobody is likely to gossip with the hotel staff or see a local paper.

7) He was feeling stressed and threatened prior to his "death."

Shame he didn't disappear when canoing in the sea.

LilacBreastedRoller Sun 09-Jun-13 11:33:12

Ooh. Who is supposed to have informed Darrell? We don't know, do we?

PseudoBadger Sun 09-Jun-13 11:41:20

I think he heard on the builders' grapevine

harryhausen Sun 09-Jun-13 11:47:30

Wooo piglet, yes! Intriguing.....

BasketzatDawn Sun 09-Jun-13 16:33:27

Sadly, piglet, this is the Archers! the script-lines are never that complicated, or indeed clever, I think. Though I do find myself curious about what will happen in turkey, and did Matt have an evil plan (possibly involving white slave traders?) before p's death? Na, this the archers, as I said ....

LilacBreastedRoller Sun 09-Jun-13 17:44:13

Ideally this would play out something like Kieslowski's film Three Colours White <spoilers from here on if you haven't seen the film and want to>, in which a bankrupt spurned man buys a dead body, fakes his own funeral (at which he observes the mourners from a safe distance), then makes a massive fortune and gets his revenge by having his ex locked up for his 'murder', except here it would be Matt doing the plotting. 'Lilian Bellamy: The Prison Diaries' would make a much better spin off than Ambridge Extra. Something tells me this won't happen.

Somethingyesterday Sun 09-Jun-13 19:41:09

Thinking aloud... Tom didn't know Paul so the only way Matt could be connected to the event is if Tom recognises Mickey as the mugger, and there's still CCTV. There's obviously a plot reason for Tom's very random witnessing of the mugging. Unless Mickey suffers an attack of conscience. Either way - Matt could soon be back in the jug again.

PrincessFiorimonde Sun 09-Jun-13 21:51:11

Piglet John!! shock shock

superfluouscurves Mon 10-Jun-13 14:34:47

Hope so Piglet!!! It would be such a cop-out/damp squib otherwise.

CashmereHoodlum Mon 10-Jun-13 14:49:27

Hope PigletJohn is correct. The latest turn of events has been a big let-down.

BoreOfWhabylon Mon 10-Jun-13 15:05:24

How about: Matt goes to funeral, meets Paul's ex-wife (played by her that's married to Brian May - name escapes me), instant rapport, affair, they run off into the sunset together. Poetic justice, I feel.

OliviaMMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 10-Jun-13 18:14:13

Celia/Anita Dobson has JUST got married though.
BUt I def think there might be something in Tom having interrupted the mugging and also didnt Celia meet Lilian?

TallGiraffe Mon 10-Jun-13 18:31:26

The SW aren't afraid of big let-downs - Chris&Alice v Canada springs to mind sad

PseudoBadger Mon 10-Jun-13 18:31:58

Celia met Matt at some venue - Watford? She dropped her keys.

LilacBreastedRoller Mon 10-Jun-13 18:50:49

Celia did meet Lilian, and Matt. I agree that Tom's encounter with Paul must have A Narrative Purpose. Perhaps he will be taking Gourmet Grills to the wake?

OliviaMMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 10-Jun-13 19:03:24

TallGiraffe

The SW aren't afraid of big let-downs - Chris&Alice v Canada springs to mind sad

Was that not to explain why such an apparent high flying aeronautical engineer is hanging around Felpersham?

Somethingyesterday Mon 10-Jun-13 19:19:43

Well Piglet I'm still not entirely sure you'rewrong. Bit too much "I'll NEVER see him again.." I felt a distinct frisson of Sherlock.

BoreOfWhabylon Mon 10-Jun-13 20:16:05

Oooh - is it going to be the funeral That Shakes Ambridge To The Core?

Olivia, I know Celia has just got married but sometimes you just can't fight these things!

BoreOfWhabylon Mon 10-Jun-13 20:19:09

And talking of big let-downs, who can forget Roof and Sam on the Oxford ring road?

LondonMother Mon 10-Jun-13 20:28:33

I am a kind person in real life but when I heard Lilian wailing away again tonight I wanted to kick her into the Am. If this SL fizzles out after all we have endured, I will be mightily miffed.

GrendelsMum Mon 10-Jun-13 20:40:07

Do you know what I really enjoyed? The scenes where Peggy was winding up JennyDarling over her new home help.

LondonMother Mon 10-Jun-13 21:04:30

l loved it when Peggy was transfixed with horror as Keira toddle about twisting the cats' tails and playing with the precious things at child level while Emma was explaining about shampooing the carpets at Brookfield twice a year.

CuttedUpPear Tue 11-Jun-13 01:06:23

What about the woman on the station platform who gooseberried Paul & Lil's meeting? Is she significant?

Thesunalwayshinesontv Tue 11-Jun-13 02:51:38

Delurking to ask if anyone else is a perplexed as I am about the economics of Emma cleaning for Peggy while paying Tracy to watch Kiera for her?

Have only been listening for a couple of years so don't know much about Tracy (does she often charge below-market rates for her services?), but this just doesn't seem to make sense. Why
would Tracy only accept pocket money, when she was looking for Emma's new job in the first place?

PseudoBadger Tue 11-Jun-13 06:04:27

But surely Tracy can't get paid if she isn't a CM?

Eastpoint Tue 11-Jun-13 06:34:36

I am fed up with the Lilian/Paul/Matt story line. Lilian's hysteria in the last episode was really annoying.

I want to know about Cathy & Jamie, how Elizabeth is getting on, how Chris is recovering from his accident, whether Phoebe & Kate have mended their relationship at all etc. I don't think Lilian would really have had an affair with her partner's half brother, that is a really big line to cross.

Gigondas Tue 11-Jun-13 06:36:13

The economics of Emma/Tracey bothered me too. Am over Lilian sl too-it's dull.

Eastpoint Tue 11-Jun-13 06:44:47

After the trouble with Clive & the other Horrobin brother it's hard to imagine Tracy offering to help Emma with anything.

PseudoBadger Tue 11-Jun-13 07:25:37

Cutted - I think the Brief Encounter episode was just the SWs showing how terribly clever they are <yawn>

heronsfly Tue 11-Jun-13 07:37:05

I'm rather bemused by the Emma/Tracey situation too, I cant imagine Tracy looking after princess Kira for nothing but Emmas convenience, don't even think she knows the child that well.
And it rather sounds as if Peggy asked her to do it maybe shes paying grin she will end up not doing it one day and Kira will break priceless ornament/hurt the cat/ fall over and break her leg.

Somethingyesterday Tue 11-Jun-13 07:52:50

I imagine the idea is that Tracy will help out her niece - by looking after her great (?) niece primarily out of family loyalty and that Emma will slip her a little "treat" now and again. I seem to remember that Tracy apologised to Emma re the "bad Horrobin" affair. This might be the point where she fully joins "Team Respectable" and becomes a more regular character. (Particularly since Ellona seems to be definitely leaving this time.)

GrendelsMum Tue 11-Jun-13 08:55:11

I don't care if none of the economics made sense - it was worth it just for Jenny Darling's appalled reaction.

I want to know whether Elizabeth is still seeing Ifti - it sounds like Freddy's no longer in need of maths tuition, but does that mean he's dropped out of the Pargeter's lives?

Somethingyesterday Tue 11-Jun-13 09:44:58

Hmmm... It's cricket season - but he didn't provide a huge amount of excitement there last year. I'm sure I heard talk of a rich American last night. He might be "for" Elizabeth. And Kirsty is "busy". Possibly he's being written out.

On the other hand, once he stops teaching Freddie he will be on a less unequal footing with his former employer - and she might miss him.

I think he's probably gone.

WhatSheSaid Tue 11-Jun-13 09:49:05

No, Ifti made a move on Elizabeth (to some awful background music, they had had dinner together) and she couldn't go through with it and they have avoided each other ever since.

I reckon if Mrs Rob never turns up he could end up with Elizabeth...

R4 Tue 11-Jun-13 10:27:22

snurk @ "Team Respectable". We need to have a rapprochement in the clan so that they can fall out again when old man Horrobin dies and the truth comes out about him signing away the tenancy.

Will this Lillian / Paul thing never end? I thought her being with him was toe-curling enough but her without him is even worse. LondonMother - you have my permission to dunk her in the Am!
What with Brine's star being on the wane after the embarrassment in Borchester Life and the mega-dairy not going to plan, how about we pair up the two cheated-upons. JD and Matt would make an interesting couple and, for a change, we could have a 'one man / two sisters' storyline.grin

R4 Tue 11-Jun-13 10:28:56

Oh, and thank goodness that Elona has gone and we don't have to hear her horrible whiny voice any more.

BoreOfWhabylon Tue 11-Jun-13 10:46:59

R4, please remind me about Old Man Horrobin and the tenancy thing. (I was Abroad for many years and missed out a huge chunk of TA, picked up again just before the tractor squished John).

CashmereHoodlum Tue 11-Jun-13 11:22:02

I won't miss hearing "oohh, Peggeee".

Gigondas Tue 11-Jun-13 11:22:21

Did anyone else think how unlucky can one woman be when Lilian mentioned she was a widow twice before she was 32?

She needs to be back in the gin cackling not mewing about someone who was so clearly going to provide lots of fodder for the amateur psychs if she had ever posted in relationships.

I would also like to dunk Emma in am.

Gigondas Tue 11-Jun-13 11:23:39

Cashmere someone else will pick that up for as long as Peggy in the archers , someone must say "ooh Peggy" . Clearly it was jacks job for years.

olgaga Tue 11-Jun-13 11:32:46

Just wanted to add my thoughts from yesterday about the Lil/Paul biz.

When Paul's daughter was talking to Matt, she said he and his partner would be welcome to attend the funeral. She said something like - "and of course your partner, Lillian isn't it?"

She also said to Matt, re Celia's remarriage, "such a shame he didn't have anyone in his life".

Aha! But he did...

Now surely Paul's daughter/son will get their hands on Paul's mobile phone at some point? When they do, won't they be able to hear all of Lilian's angry/frustrated/puzzled messages?

Somethingyesterday Tue 11-Jun-13 11:47:41

Lillian's widowhoods did leave her extremely rich...

I too miss the old times when she spent half the day in Grey Gables pool and the other half shopping for eventwear in Felpersham.

The phone messages are a very loose end. But they still wouldn't connect Matt to Paul's demise.

R4 Tue 11-Jun-13 11:52:55

Bore: this was a fairly recent thing, after Ivy died. Tracy left Den and moved in with Susan&Neil until they foisted her off on Bert at No6 The Green. Tracy persuaded Bert to make her joint-tenant so that she would 'inherit' the house when he dies.

Useless fact: the actress that plays Tracy used to, many moons ago, play Kate!

olgaga Tue 11-Jun-13 11:57:15

No it wouldn't on the face of it link Matt to Paul's death.

However it does link Lilian to Paul, and I'd be disappointed if it didn't get an airing somehow.

BoreOfWhabylon Tue 11-Jun-13 12:15:50

Ah, thanks R4 - I vaguely recall that now. Didn't know about the Tracy/Kate thing though!

TallGiraffe Tue 11-Jun-13 13:02:01

What is Matt going to do about the funeral? And will there not have to be a PM and inquest?

PigletJohn Tue 11-Jun-13 13:06:59

I see the scriptwriters read my spoiler and have concocted an elaborate plot rewrite.

Somethingyesterday Tue 11-Jun-13 13:19:06

Piglet wink
Have faith. They're just going to make us wait...

Kiriwawa Tue 11-Jun-13 13:21:17

I'm looking forward to the SWs shoehorning in some stuff about the situation in Turkey. Surely Matt&Lil won't be going now they've got the tear gas out in Istanbul?

Saker Tue 11-Jun-13 15:21:26

On the Emma / Tracy front, I was amused that Tracy isn't considered good enough to clean for Peggy, but Peggy and Jennifer have no problem with her looking after a child.

BoreOfWhabylon Tue 11-Jun-13 15:30:37

Yes, but it's not an Archer child Saker, just a rustic Grundy. So that's all right.

superfluouscurves Tue 11-Jun-13 21:39:20

Arf at Somethingyesterday's description of Lillian's former idleness ... grin

Somethingyesterday Tue 11-Jun-13 23:09:25

Super Thank you!

Actually I didn't think of it as idleness, just her natural state in life. It was certainly more entertaining than endless meetings about kitchen fittings. And at least she seemed vaguely happy. Given the miserable origins of Amside it's not surprising that the whole business is exceedingly dreary to hear about.

It also seems that Grey Gables has effectively been written out of the show. (Is this because it was considered too "posh" like poor Nigel?) It's a pity because it was a major meeting point for the entire community - celebrators, employees, grandees, newbies - a counterpoint to the Bull; and without it the social melding of the village seems - I don't know the word - like rope shredded.

superfluouscurves Wed 12-Jun-13 08:18:57

Yes, kitchen fittings extremely dull.

Agree idle wrong word. It takes quite a lot of energy to down all those g & ts and snaffle those slap-up lunches smile. I would find it hard to keep up with L at her natural best!

Gigondas Wed 12-Jun-13 10:20:47

Kitchen fittings better than Jd and Jim war of words and rapprochement or josh and his eggs.

ppeatfruit Wed 12-Jun-13 11:54:35

That is a very good point about the 'children' getting hold of his mobile and what about the flat?

Brillig Wed 12-Jun-13 15:25:58

IMHO Lilian being blasted by a water-cannon in Taksim Square would be just retribution for her stammering, stumbling, wailing, moaning and, most importantly, outrageously ripe performance over the last weeks ('naice' ham? I think not).

Sunny Ormonde gave her thoughts on playing the character in a webchat and I'm afraid I was immediately reminded of that Victoria Wood sketch where Bo Beaumont holds forth on the challenge of playing Mrs. Overall in Acorn Antiques...

Songbird Wed 12-Jun-13 16:48:49

Brillig I couldn't agree more!! I thought nothing could be more annoying than the stammering but now we have The Gulpy Crying. Give me strength...

Lilymaid Wed 12-Jun-13 16:56:42

"I'm looking forward to the SWs shoehorning in some stuff about the situation in Turkey"
Lillian mentioned this in an episode last wek.

Gigondas Wed 12-Jun-13 16:57:07

The only gulping Lillian should do is gin IMHO.

Also are we going to have daryl mewing for next few weeks about departure of illona. Peggy likes her coffee with hot milk Ffs ( proof 10697 that Peggy is entitled).

OliviaMMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 12-Jun-13 17:28:48

R4

*Bore*: this was a fairly recent thing, after Ivy died. Tracy left Den and moved in with Susan&Neil until they foisted her off on Bert at No6 The Green. Tracy persuaded Bert to make her joint-tenant so that she would 'inherit' the house when he dies.

Useless fact: the actress that plays Tracy used to, many moons ago, play Kate!

That's a great bit of trivia.

ppeatfruit Thu 13-Jun-13 13:41:10

Blimey Brillig 'Sunny Ormonde' I wonder if that's a made up name it's got to be grin!! OMG her hamming it up was godawful; get over it Lil he was a psycho and you'd just about chucked him any way!!

BoreOfWhabylon Thu 13-Jun-13 15:39:54

Ah yes, Brillig Sunny Ormonde and Bo Beaumont

Peas in a pod grin

CashmereHoodlum Thu 13-Jun-13 19:04:47

Montenegro!

Somethingyesterday Thu 13-Jun-13 19:06:28

Chemistry.....? YES!!

BoreOfWhabylon Thu 13-Jun-13 19:14:56

Funeral!

Levvylife Thu 13-Jun-13 19:17:51

Oooh, can't believe I've not seen this thread until now!

She's going to crack and confess all at the funeral, isn't she?

BoreOfWhabylon Thu 13-Jun-13 19:26:23

Think she will hold it together at funeral but she will crack to Matt afterwards. He will forgive her and Tiger and Pusscat will set off into the sunset to Montenegro.

That episode had lots of stuff - Phoebe has morphed into a Midwich Cuckoo, the beginning of the Rob/Helen lurve affair...

Somethingyesterday Thu 13-Jun-13 19:31:26

She's going to need a disguise - or Celia will be mighty confused. And might not keep quiet. Fabulous!

MrsCampbellBlack Thu 13-Jun-13 19:33:02

Helen and Rob - how obvious was that.

And phoebe and Lillian was sweet I thought.

BoreOfWhabylon Thu 13-Jun-13 20:07:00

But Phoebe sounded like an automaton, MrsCB. The sentiments expressed were sweet but I imagined them being uttered by a blank-faced child with weird golden eyes and white-blonde hair.

TallGiraffe Thu 13-Jun-13 20:25:57

Also will they please pay the actor that plays Ian - the sodding sous chef was ill hmm He is a good character, bring him back!

WhatSheSaid Fri 14-Jun-13 01:45:08

Let's hope there's not a sudden outbreak of unrest in Montenegro, otherwise the scriptwriters will have to do ANOTHER hasty rewrite.

ppeatfruit Fri 14-Jun-13 11:21:28

Pheobe; <do.you.want.a.hug.Auntie.Lilian?.>r

Rob; "Do you want a roll in the cowshed Helen?"

TheConstantLurker Fri 14-Jun-13 14:13:00

The whole Phoebe and Lillian hug scene was ridiculous.
How long can Matt keep up the nicey nicey stuff eh? Does he love Lillian or is he just thinking about the money?

ppeatfruit Fri 14-Jun-13 14:18:56

IIWM I'd kick Matt. into touch (if she's got any sense she will when she finds out how much he's deliberately deceiving and winding her up) He's playing a very risky game if she holds all the financial power isn't he?

Songbird Fri 14-Jun-13 16:52:17

What is up with Phoebe's Drama School voice? Most of the kids have completely unrealistic accents!

heronsfly Fri 14-Jun-13 17:14:56

I'm amazed at how advanced all the Ambridge babes are with their speech,a few weeks ago we had the wondrous Henry discussing breeds of ducks at an age when mine could barely manage 'quack quack', and now princess kira seems to be able to discuss what activities she has taken part in recently.

GrendelsMum Fri 14-Jun-13 17:49:07

re. the wondrous Henry - my nephew is the same age, and for a while he has apparently been able to have ludicrously advanced conversations. We're pretty sure he's simply repeating back entire sentences that people have said earlier (which can be deeply embarrassing...), but the effect is really unnerving. Apparently he has also corrected his grandad on the variety of bird they were observing ("Not birdy, grandad. Goldfinch.")

PseudoBadger Fri 14-Jun-13 17:53:01

Yes my DS is the same age as Henry and no where near as advanced! Nic's baby will be the same age as my dc2 too as well....

MrsCampbellBlack Fri 14-Jun-13 18:50:33

I have an ominous feeling about Nic's baby. And lordy, why is Emma so bloody snide about her the whole time. Emmur - you left Will because you were shagging his brother - really, you need to suck it up.

PseudoBadger Fri 14-Jun-13 19:05:11

What, as in Nic has found God for a reason - when something awful happens she'll find comfort in The Lord?

MrsCampbellBlack Fri 14-Jun-13 19:05:30

Emma in top form tonight - I really wish Ed would dump her.

MrsCampbellBlack Fri 14-Jun-13 19:06:44

Could be, just so many mentions of healthy baby and how she's blooming. I reckon Emma is going to kick her down some stairs, perhaps in the church, because that'll teach her . . .

ppeatfruit Fri 14-Jun-13 20:27:07

Songbird I don't know what they teach them in drama school but they sure as hell can't act .Even after being in TA for a long time Pheebs, Pip and Daniel are dire.

GrendelsMum Fri 14-Jun-13 21:24:32

I don't think Nic's found God - I think she's found a way of getting an hour's peace and quiet followed by someone else making her a cup of tea ;)

I also think that Ed is realising that average-looking single mother of two Nic was a better bet than blonde bombshell Emma.

olgaga Sat 15-Jun-13 01:48:41

Sorry to mention this again but surely someone will have got hold of Paul's possessions by now,and he
all Lil's frantic voicemails?

olgaga Sat 15-Jun-13 01:48:41

Sorry to mention this again but surely someone will have got hold of Paul's possessions by now,and he
all Lil's frantic voicemails?