Archers spoilers

[BoreOfWhabylon]

OK, this was posted on another site on January 1st 2014

'Based upon a letter in the DM from a reader who alleged they had overheard "an obnoxiously loud member of TA production team" in a Birmingham restaurant. Believe it at your peril.

Rob is revealed to be homophobic.
Jill will move into Brookfield.
The Grundy's to move back to Grange Farm.
Tom will take over the running of Bridge Farm after Tony has an accident.
Lower Loxley may burn down, but that has yet to be decided upon.
Lynda is to stage Blithe Spirit next Christmas.

Or not, as the case may be...'

How much more will come to pass, I wonder?

I'd be happy with Rob's demise but it still wouldn't be a great message for victims of coercive control or more obvious DV - your only escape will be through some lifechanginging outrage or catastrophe.

But it's a drama so I guess it will have to be dramatic.

My hunch is that she won't, because they've made such a big thing in recent weeks about having researched it, playing it out in real time, etc. However, I wouldn't actually put it past them ('Rob, no stop'; 'GROWL GROWL'; 'Rob you're frightening Henry' [sound of toppling banister rail] Rob? Rob? ROOOOOOOB? dum-de-dum-de-dum-de-dum.

Ok, she can nearly kill Rob - push him down the stairs or something. Broken neck or back. Months in hospital. Attempted murder charge but Rob still available to be menacing when required.

How about Rob dies attempting to save the baby from a fire a LL, in a gallant gesture to win back Helen after she's left him and is just about to start legal proceeding? Everyone is saying how brave he was and what a waste of his life etc and Helen can never speak about just how awful it has been for her.

I'm wondering if Helen will plan to leave but change her mind and call Kirsty about that.

He needs to serve time

And then he can keep coming back a la dirty den without having to come up with some ridiculous faked death sl

Surely the person he hates is Kirsty and she will be attacked?

I'm wondering if Henry's new friend on 7 April is Bruce, before he visits the shop the next day.

Helen must surely call Jess tomorrow, now she's had access to Rob's phone and has Kirsty's old one. That would explain the truths she uncovers (even though Jess isn't mentioned in the cast list, we could get one side of the conversation).

The phone maybe explains what happens on 4th April. There's some crisis, Rob takes Helen's phone, the only person she can call is Kirsty via the new phone.

Helen's uncovering truths tomorrow. So either she calls Jess, or she finds the school's contact details on Rob's phone and discovers that he did indeed plan to send Henry there.

Helen sees Rob taking in a large parcel. He is shifty about the contents but when he gets a call to come into the farm shop and sort out an order, Helen opens it.

It is a large robot. Helen challenges Rob, who explains that the robot will be able to do everything for the baby, feed, wind, change, rock to sleep, take out for fresh air. 'So that you can rest and we can both know that our baby is in safe hands, darling.'

Helen sees robot, says "hi mum, nice of you to visit"

From today's Daily Mail
Phones ring late at night, lights come on, car doors bang. Something's up.
Those of you living within earshot of Ambridge should prepare for a disturbed night in an already action-packed week - one in which Helen makes a big decision.
Kirsty, not entirely at ease with Helen's thought processes, is tested to the limit, and Tom's attempts to help out and get on better terms with his jilted bride only makes things worse.

More spoilers

Spoilers 3 April – 22 April

3 April Rob asserts his viewpoint, and Helen reacts.
4 April Kirsty is called to action, and Pat is confused.
5 April Jazzer is working hard, and Helen encounters a new face.
6 April Susan stirs the pot, and Fallon has unwanted company.
7 April Christine has some words of advice, and Henry makes a new friend....
8 April There is an unexpected visitor at the village shop, and Tom wonders what might have been...

10 April Clarrie has some words of advice, and Henry is playing up.
11 April Bert is rebuilding, and Jill takes a call.
12 April Jazzer needs some help, and Kirsty tells it like it is.
13 April Adam is forging ahead, and Neil has an ultimatum for Josh.
14 April Lilian is looking glamorous, but it is Elizabeth who is turning heads....
15 April Lynda is not impressed, and Peggy spots something unusual.

17 April There is just no pleasing Lynda, and Pat berates Tom.
18 April Jim is being evasive, and Jolene inspires her husband.
19 April Rex just keeps on trying, and Tony galvanises Pat.
20 April Pip has a proposition for Tom, and is Eddie raining on Lynda's parade?...
21 April Lilian is on a spree, and the Brookfield Archers raise a glass....
22 April Jazzer is not in the mood, and just who will be gorgeous George?...

Tony's back then.

Rob and Helen don't get a mention in the last two weeks really

Looks like josh has pissed Neil off with his new egg venture!!

Yes, but the not mentioning might be because they don't want to give anything away...

That's true - Jess didn't even get a mention in the cast list last night!

Well it can't be locusts. Will Fallon's unwelcome guests be frogs?

(Praying it won't be anything to cause 'elf 'n' safety to shut her down ...)

Fallon either has mice, or a Rob

Wash your mouth out Gruach - that's my profession!

You're an elf, pseudo!

You must just wince when you listen to anything concerning the Grundys!

Oh Lord - I'd forgotten you Pseudo!

No offence. Just trying to convince the SWs not to bring in a plague of Rob to cause her problems.

(Ponders attempting a discussion on the effect of Brexit on your occupation.)

Never mind Brexit, it's a shadow of itself thanks to the last few governments...
TA doesn't do my profession very well so I doubt they'll go there.

It's surprising actually that there's no-one in the village working for (forgotten the name of) the body that arrives to investigate Otto trampling and E.coli outbreaks. Or that none of them work at Johnny's sixth form college.

Do I, from the depths of my memory, recall a time when upstanding Ambridge residents used to go and give talks to colleges? I'm probably making it up. They don't even have a magistrate since Phil died.